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My name is Sam. In the early 2000s I got involved with a crew of bounty hunters. My time with them started out innocently enough but quickly became something much more. Despite some bad things happening along the way I learned some things about myself, and had the opportunity to right a wrong. Most of the following is true, some of it isn't. The who/what/where have been changed up a bit to protect the not-at-all innocent. The three bounty hunters' names have been changed to those of my family's cats, for example.  I'm the one telling it, but this story really belongs to my friend Daisy. Without her this might not have happened, and it certainly wouldn't have been as special. This is a long one, and it'll take some time to post. The talented and warped goon The Voice Of Labor is responsible for the art in this one. I present to you-  (once again, a VERY big thank you to Darth Brooks for the cover art!) Our story begins in Thailand... isaboo fucked around with this message at 18:25 on Dec 15, 2022 |
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Nov 10, 2022 19:49
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Nov 10, 2022 19:53
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Chapter 1 One Night In Bangkok https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgc_LRjlbTU The bell rang to end round three, and I dragged my tired and defeated rear end from the ring. The fight was nothing special; it was just an exhibition match put on for gawking Westerners. I had been in Southeast Asia for a few months training at various Muay Thai camps in Thailand. I was also lucky enough to visit Myanmar and learn a little of the relatively unknown martial art of Lethwei. My stay in the area was coming to an end, and I was happy to be heading back to Atlanta soon. I was running low on funds and although Thailand was relatively inexpensive, I had spent way too much money. I should have expected that though - my previous visits ended much the same way- putting me close to a zero-dollar bank account. I'd have to step up my game as a legal process server back home to make some money. After coming out of the dressing room area, I spotted another American in the crowded bar. There were a lot of us around Bangkok, but most were ex-pats I'd seen often. The woman I saw was a new face to me. She was black, short and attractive and waved to me when she saw me notice her. I made my way through the throbbing mass of people, who were dancing to an American top 20 hit from a decade prior- 1990's Step By Step by New Kids On The Block. I loving hated that song. "Hey! Good fight" yelled the woman. Her voice was squeaky and was difficult to hear over the music. "Thanks. Though I wouldn't call it good. I got my rear end handed to me," I replied. "Win some, lose some," she said. "Yeah, I guess. Where are you from?" "I'm from Atlanta. How 'bout you?" "Oh wow! I'm originally from south Georgia! Now I live and work in Atlanta. Small world, ain't it?" I said. "I'm Sam." "Nice to meet ya, Sam. I'm Mary, but most people call me Mouse. 'Cause of my voice, ya know? Wanna step outside? It's crowded in here." We ordered a pitcher of beer and went outside to a small table on the sidewalk. "So, what do you do back home?" I asked. "I'm a bail bondsman... a bounty hunter." I thought she was kidding. Mouse was a small woman and didn't look intimidating at all. I wondered how she could handle herself, but I didn't want to judge her based on her appearance and demeanor. She could see I wasn't sure she was being serious. Laughing, she said "No, really. I'm a bounty hunter." She handed me a business card- "EFRS- Excelsior Fugitive Recovery Services: No one gets away." "My husband is the owner. I do a lot of the interviews with people the fugitive knows, 'cause I'm good at reading people." "Wow. That's... interesting. I've done security jobs and have had some wild times with all sorts of crazy people, but nothing like what you've probably seen," I said. "Yeah. There are enough crazy people in the world to keep us all busy," she mused. "What brings you to Bangkok?" I asked. "I'm also in law school. I'm working part-time for a lawyer, and she sent me here to interview one of her clients. He's in Klong Prem. I'm also looking for a few ar..." She stumbled over her words a bit then corrected herself. "I'm also looking for a few things to take back home while I'm here." Klong Prem isn't the place to be, especially for an American, I thought. It's widely regarded as one of the toughest prisons in the world. Mouse continued to tell me about her time as a bounty hunter, and I was intrigued. I'd have to look into it once I got back home- it might be an interesting new job to try. I told her I was leaving in a few days and that I'd like to hang out once I was back in Atlanta. She mentioned she was going to visit the giant Cambodian temple Angkor Wat the next day. I loved that place so I asked if she minded if I tagged along with her, and she was delighted. She said she'd feel more comfortable with another American, especially one who had been to the area before. We finished our pitcher and took a walk through the market, laughing at all the stares we got. The market area we were in was always busy on the weekends, and this Friday night was no different. It was a great opportunity to people-watch, but we were the ones on display. Being a 6'4" Native American in Thailand was interesting. Most of the locals had never seen an Indian before, and if they knew anything about us at all it was from stereotypical roles in old movies. Add to that the fact that I was a struggling professional fighter, and you have the recipe for being a (very) minor, temporary celebrity. People would often stop and ask where I was from - most assumed I was from Mexico - and upon hearing the truth they would ask a million questions. A lot of them I couldn't answer because I was adopted by white parents and hadn't ever connected with my ancestral roots. That often weighed heavily on me, but I kept putting off learning more about where I came from. I did get a lot of free food and drinks from curious locals though, so I didn't mind the endless questions. Mouse was 5'4" and African-American, so the two of us drew even more attention than either of us walking around solo. Mouse grabbed my arm and pulled me into a cool-looking bar. It was the locals' attempt at an American sports pub, but it wasn't a very good one by our standards. The decor was a mess of conflicting styles and the pop culture references were at least a decade old. It was an embarrassment, but Western culture can be embarrassing anyway. We talked a little more about the next day's Angkor Wat plans and ordered a couple of drinks. I nearly fell out of my chair when I saw one of the bartenders. It was Sunny - the Thai woman I had met while working for a detective agency in Miami a few years prior. I yelled "Sunny!!" and she turned around. She saw me and laughed, saying "Sam?! What are you doing here? I'm Summer." Summer was Sunny's twin sister, also from Miami. I knew that she had gone to Thailand, but I hadn't seen either of them in years. She came around the bar and gave me a big hug, then told me that Sunny was now in Atlanta. I called Mouse over and introduced her to Summer, telling Mouse a little about the crazy time I had when I met the twins and their father - The Time I Was Cursed By A Witch And Battled A Monster. Mouse could see I wanted to talk to Summer alone, so she said goodnight and confirmed our plans to meet the following day. Summer and I talked for a while and she gave me Sunny's contact information. Sunny and I had an immediate attraction to each other when we first met, but the circumstances didn't allow us to pursue anything. I went back to my hotel and didn't sleep much, thinking about Sunny and everything else that happened so far. I liked Mouse, but something about her seemed off to me. I've always been good at reading people, and in most cases I was right. I'm... off-kilter myself, so if I think someone is hosed up, they probably are. I thought about Mouse's story and why she was in Bangkok, and while I believed the bounty hunter and law school bits, her reason for being there felt incomplete but not totally dishonest. Her mention of "bringing something back home" with her sounded like she wasn't referring to souvenirs like postcards and refrigerator magnets. I didn't get the idea it was drug-related, but I thought it might be something illicit. Ultimately though I just decided to mind my own business and not bring it up. The next morning, Mouse and I boarded the bus that would take us from Bangkok to Siam Reap, Cambodia. The trip is around 6 hours, but our ride got cut short by a medical emergency. That's when things started to get wild. We were about two and half hours into the bus ride when we made a pit stop at a small village. We and the other passengers were milling about and stretching our legs. David, an Australian, came up to us and another woman, the only other native English speakers on the trip. David said he was staying in Siem Reap and was returning there after a visit to Bangkok. As we talked to him, his voice began to trail off and I could tell something was wrong. He stumbled forward, fell, and opened a 5 to 6-inch gash on the top of his skull. To make matters worse, he then had a massive seizure. The other English-speaking woman was Gloria, a nurse, so while I pressed a huge wad of napkins against the man's bleeding head, she maintained his airway while he was seizing. Fortunately, someone finally either understood our pleas for "ambulance!" or just had the good sense to call one of their own volition. The nurse went with him in the ambulance while Mouse and I gathered our stuff and David's luggage. We made our transportation arrangements and joined our new Aussie friend in the emergency room of a tiny rural Thai urgent care facility. Gloria served as a liaison between the mostly non-English speaking nurses - their shared profession and camaraderie seemed to overcome the linguistic hurdles. After many stitches and a CT scan later, the decision was made to send our friend off to a much better and more well-equipped hospital in Siem Reap. David's family was there in the city and the Cambodian hospital was closer than the one in Thailand so it made more sense to go to Siam Reap. Now around 6:30 pm, the nurses helped organize a high-speed ride in another pickup truck "ambulance" to get us to the Cambodian border 100km away before it shut down for the night. At around 7:45 we arrived and got stamped out of Thailand into Cambodia, only to find out that public transportation had stopped for the night. The "ambulance" driver was not allowed to cross the border with us. We were on a dirty, sketchy street with all of our luggage, with hawkers trying to coax us into their cabs. None of them looked like they were suitable to carry an injured and semi-conscious passenger, so we had to look for other options. By 8:30 we had declined most of the transportation offers, then decided to spring for a two-hour cab ride with the most semi-legitimate looking outfit we could find - a woman with a card table and a single-bulb lamp hanging from an umbrella. I knew how the local cabbies operated; they'd try to divert tourists to all kinds of places - jewelry stores, food shacks, etc. I made it clear to the woman who sold us the ride that we wanted "NO STOPS" along the way - direct to Siam Reap. She assured me - "no stops." We piled into the pickup truck. It had no roof on the cab and the back was a tight fit. Mouse was in the passenger seat and Gloria sat with David in the bed, trying to keep him conscious. I was behind the driver's seat. After only 15 minutes or so of driving out of town, we found ourselves in the middle of nowhere. There was nothing but trees and utter black darkness. The driver seemed to be altered in some way - my guess was he was drunk or on drugs. He'd honk for no reason, turn his lights off and on, and swerve all over the road. There were no animals or traffic in the way - he was just a chaotic, drugged-out cabbie. Sometimes he'd slow down to a crawl, then floor the accelerator for a while, then slow down again. He didn't say a word the entire time. I was getting angry and worried - Where the gently caress are we, what the gently caress is this guy doing, am I going to have to choke his rear end out and drive us there myself - those were the questions going through my head. This went on for about an hour until we stopped at a small hut - a bamboo and banana leaf roof kind of hut. My spider senses tingled and I was ready to fight whatever was about to come out of the shack. Two people emerged, dragging a hose behind them. It turned out we were at a fuel station. They refueled us with natural gas and we were on our way again. We drove for a little while longer, then the driver slammed on his brakes and yelled something. He turned on the bright lights and I could not loving believe what they revealed.
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Nov 10, 2022 19:54
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Chapter 2 The Elephant Riders https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNOD6vKutp4 A massive elephant blocked the road. Asian elephants in the region are smaller than their African cousins, but this one was big. Really big. And it didn't look happy. It bellowed and waved its trunk at us, then charged forward about 20 feet before stopping abruptly. I heard a voice call out from the jungle, and a man stepped out and positioned himself between our truck and the elephant. He spoke to our driver in Cambodian, who replied in an angry tone and started honking the horn. This agitated the beast and it reared up on its back legs, bellowing and waving its trunk around more. I was having a hard time processing what was happening and to create a little levity for myself I said "drat, I'd love to steal that thing and ride it through a mall." It was a nod to an adventure I had nearly a decade prior. Gloria had no idea what the hell I was talking about of course, and said simply "What?"  "Never mind," I replied. "I don't know what's about to happen, but we might need to run." "Well, I'm not leaving David," she said. She was right, we couldn't leave him there no matter what. Our driver got out of the truck and walked to the man between us and the pachyderm. I then realized the guy was an elephant trainer. I could see he was carrying an ankus, or bullhook- a roughly 3-foot-long stick with a blunt hook on one end. He gently grabbed the animal's trunk with it and calmed the beast down. The trainer, however, was upset at our driver. They exchanged more angry words, then the encounter took a violent turn. Without warning the driver swung at the trainer and hit him right on his jaw, knocking him down. The trainer jumped up and immediately kicked the driver in his leg, and after a moment of hesitation, the two of them began trading punches. This made the elephant angry again, and it started turning in circles and roaring. The fight continued - normally I'd intervene and try to calm the situation, but in this case, there was no way in hell I was going to try. Glancing over at Gloria, I could see she was terrified. She shielded David, just in case. To anyone watching the scene unfold, Mouse and I would have looked like Laura Dern and Sam Neill in Jurassic Park when they first saw the dinosaurs - Mouse stood up and placed her hands on top of the windshield while I was halfway climbing out of the truck bed. She turned to me and whispered, "What the gently caress?" Both of us were wide-eyed and our mouths were agape. I heard another animal grumbling, and when I looked to the side I saw the jungle begin to stir. I could hear small tree branches snapping - whatever was moving through the foliage was big and heavy. Moments later another elephant emerged, with a rider onboard. They passed the truck so closely I could have reached out and touched them. A few moments later, yet another elephant appeared, also carrying someone. "What in the fuckity gently caress," I said. We were god knows where, with an injured friend, surrounded by elephants, watching a brutal fight going on right in front of us. The rider of the third elephant heard me and turned to us. "Hey, don't be scared. It's ok. We're here to help." The driver finally got the better of the trainer and put him on the ground. He pounced on top of him and started pummeling the poor guy. The big elephant was not having any of that poo poo. With a loud SMACK, it slapped the driver with its huge, powerful trunk. The driver was knocked clean off of the trainer, landing a good four feet away. The elephant picked up the hooked pole and started beating the driver.  The second elephant rider jumped from his mount and ran to the first elephant in an attempt to calm it down. He struggled with it for a few moments before finally getting it under control. The other two men positioned their mounts between the angry elephant and the truck and stopped it from beating on the driver. He picked himself up, ran to the back of the truck, and tried to drag David out of the bed. Mouse and Gloria yelled at him while I tried to stop him. One of the trainers said, "He wants to leave, let him go, we will help you." He said something to the driver and got him to back off from David. Gloria and Mouse helped me pull David from the truck and lay him on the ground. The first trainer turned on a flashlight and came over to help us - I could then see he was wearing hospital scrubs. I didn't know what kind of medical training he had but he was attending to David, making sure the Aussie was conscious and okay. The driver yelled something at all of us, threw our belongings onto the ground, and drove away. Gloria was beside herself, crying. Mouse consoled her, telling her everything would be okay. I talked to the trainer in scrubs as he continued to help David. "What was that all about?" I asked. "I'm Sam. Thanks for your help!" "My name is Sambath," he replied. "Your friend here will be okay." "Oh thank goodness," said Mouse. "Are you a doctor?" In perfect English, Sambath said "I'm a large animal veterinarian. But it's fine, we will get your friend proper help." The other two trainers, Makara and Thom, were busy tending to the elephants. Sambath went on to say that they were part of a conservation group, working with elephants and performing community outreach in the area. They had a camp set up not too far from where we were and offered to take us there. Having no other option, we agreed. Makara said something to Sambath, climbed aboard his elephant, and disappeared into the jungle. "He will be back soon," Sambath said. "He is going to get a cart for your friend. We don't want to harm him by putting him on Daisy's back." Daisy was the big elephant - the one that had angrily pounded on our driver. Thom's elephant was named Violet, and Makara's was Jasmine. About 20 minutes later I heard the sound of an engine approaching - it was Makara on a four-wheel ATV, with a trailer towed behind it. Daisy gently grasped David with her trunk and helped us stand him up and put him in the trailer. She then plucked a large leaf from a tree and gingerly placed it on top of David. "She loves to help people," Sambath said. "But she also does not like mean people." "So, what was that guy's problem anyway?" I asked as we gathered our things and put them in the cart with David. "He is known for causing trouble," Thom said. "He drinks and uses drugs and terrorizes the animals around here. He is no good. We have told him to stay away but he doesn't listen. Maybe he will now. Daisy will remember him." "Elephants don't forget... is that true?" asked Gloria. "It is very true," replied Thom. "They remember all." "Come now, let's get going," said Sambath. "Do not be nervous... trust the elephants." With that, Makara and Thom each gave a command to Daisy and Violet, directing them to kneel and lower their heads. The trainers showed us how to climb aboard - while facing the elephant's head, we grabbed onto the front portion of the saddle and hopped onto the animals' sturdy necks then scrambled around to properly sit in the saddle. Mouse was having trouble trying to climb onto Violet. It wasn't because Mouse was too small to jump on, but rather Violet did not want her to. Each time Mouse tried, Violet would raise her head and shake it from side to side. Thom told Gloria to give it a try, and Violet readily accepted her. I made a joke about the myth of elephants being scared of mice. Sambath looked puzzled and whispered to me "Violet is not afraid, she simply does not like the small woman." Thom led the way on the ATV, towing Mouse in the trailer with David. Makara and Sambath walked in front of Daisy, carrying me, with Gloria aboard Violet. We were soon on a well-worn trail, heading deeper into the jungle. I felt safe with these guys, and more importantly with the large beasts carrying us. We traveled a couple of hundred yards before we came to a clearing. In the middle of the field was a large bonfire. Jasmine was nearby, drinking water from a large trough, with another person standing next to her. We dismounted and once again checked on David - he seemed to be doing a bit better and was talking a little. The fourth Cambodian man next to Jasmine was a local park ranger. He said he would take David and Gloria to a nearby clinic, and then in the morning he would take them to the hospital in Siam Reap. We felt comfortable with that, and soon David was on his way to better care. Mouse and I would stay the night and catch another, Sambath-approved taxi to the city in the morning. Until then, we would enjoy our time with the elephant riders. The camp was one of a few outposts their group had in the area. The other camps were occupied by other members of the conservation force, working with other animals. Our camp was big enough for three elephants to have room to move around and relax and do elephant things. Off to one side of the clearing was a huge mud pit, big enough for two of the girls to splash around in. There were two shelters for the humans - one was a big canvas tarp suspended from trees. Six to eight people could fit under it, and a large table with chairs was at the center. A proper basecamp tent with enough room for six people and a little bit of gear provided additional shelter. A small lean-to was at the edge of the clearing, with a hitching post next to it. A table in the lean-to had some elephant grooming and veterinary tools on it, along with three flower wreaths. We sat around the fire, getting to know each other. They told us all about their outreach program, and how they worked to protect the Asian elephant population. They were truly remarkable men and had dedicated their lives to the mighty pachyderms. I quickly grew to admire them, and the elephants were a joy to be around. Daisy stood behind me, occasionally flicking my ponytail with her trunk, and playfully splashing me with water.  Reaching into the lean-to, she picked up one of the wreaths - made of daisies - and placed it on her head. The other two elephants did the same with their wreaths - one made of jasmine and the other of violets. Sambath explained that the elephants had proper Cambodian names, but years ago a young French girl made each of them a flower wreath to wear, giving them their new monikers. I was in awe of the elephants' intelligence and gentle demeanor. They were very sweet animals, and we bonded right away.  Interested in knowing more about the elephants as individuals, I asked Sambath how they came to know the animals. He told me how Daisy's mate, a larger than normal bull, had been killed by poachers a few years prior. Some male Asian elephants do have tusks, but they are much smaller than the African species. The tushes - rather than tusks - usually only grew a few inches. Still, ivory is ivory, and it can command a high price on the black market. Given that Daisy's bull had tushes that were much bigger than most, he was a prime target. That sickened me. It just boggled my mind that someone could maim or even kill such a majestic creature. Sambath went on to say that the poachers were caught and punished, but the ivory wasn't recovered. Daisy and the other two girls - members of the same small herd - were taken into protective custody by Sambath's conservation group. These elephants in particular seemed to enjoy being around people more than most others and readily took to being cared for. Sambath and his partners never tried to force the animals into anything - the men followed the lead of the elephants, letting them roam anywhere they chose, within reason. Daisy hugged me with her trunk. "Daisy likes you," said Sambath. "She's a good judge of character. You must be a good man." Laughing and stroking her trunk, I said "And I like Daisy. I hope to one day make her proud." We got some sleep, and the next morning Makara took Mouse to catch the taxi. I decided to stay for another day - I was having way too much fun with Daisy and the others. I learned a lot about elephants and other wildlife in the area, and I was sad to leave my new friends. Before I left, Sambath gave me a warning I should have heeded: "Beware of the Mouse woman. Trouble follows her." He also made me promise to return and visit Daisy and everyone else. It was a promise I planned to keep, but I had no idea how important that pledge would turn out to be. I walked over to Daisy and the other elephants, put my forehead to Daisy's, and began singing to her - "Don't You Forget About Me", the 80s classic by Simple Minds. She loved it - she spun her tail around in circles, made some soft grumbling noises, and nodded her head up and down. Violet and Jasmine seemed to appreciate my vocal skills as well; they swayed from side to side in almost perfect rhythm with me. Finally, I had found friends who enjoyed my terrible singing! To make sure I wouldn't forget her, Daisy snorted and sprayed me with water. isaboo fucked around with this message at 20:36 on Nov 10, 2022 |
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Nov 10, 2022 20:01
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Chapter 3 Bounty Hunter https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrtRucPEbsI The first time I met Mouse's husband, Hondo, was during a standard assignment back home in Atlanta. He was tracking a subject who had some kind of relationship with Derrick, the person I was serving. I was in my car outside of Derrick's place of employment, reading a book and not paying that much attention to anything, when I heard a sharp rap against the passenger window. The hulking man on the other side of the glass wore a sweet smile, but it was still offputting to see him there. In his early 50s, Hondo was white with short blonde hair, broad shoulders and massive biceps. A tattoo on his left forearm looked like it signified a military unit of some kind. I rolled the window down and asked what he wanted. "Hey, dude. You're not looking for Timbo, are ya?" he asked. "Uh, no." I didn't know who the hell the guy was so I wasn't going to give him any information in case he was affiliated with Derrick. "Okay good. I don't think he's here. You're that process server, right?" He handed me a business card- the same one as Mouse had given me in Bangkok. I wondered how he knew who I was, but I quickly found out Hondo was drat good at his job. There was no point in lying, so I said I was. "Yeah, I am. I'm looking for a guy named Derrick. You must be Mouse's husband!" "Okay, cool. Timbo is one of Derrick's friends. I thought he might show up here. If you see him- he's a big black man with a white goatee- give me a call, ok? Yeah, I'm Mouse's husband. She told me all about your adventure in Cambodia. Thanks for helping out and keeping her safe." "Sure thing. Is Timbo dangerous?" "Nah. He just got mixed up with the wrong people. It's nothing too exciting. Just don't approach him if you see him. I don't want him to get spooked and run." We talked for a little while and the subject turned to my life so far as a former security officer/bodyguard/bouncer/general idiot. He asked if I had ever considered bounty hunting. I told him no, I hadn't, but it seemed like a logical step for me to take. We shook hands and he left, and it made me wonder what life as a bounty hunter would be like. I decided I'd think about it for a while and call him in a few days, whether or not I had spotted Timbo. I left after it was apparent Derrick wasn't at his office and drove to another location where he might be. Shortly after I arrived, I saw a man who fit Timbo's description. He went into the office building but quickly came back outside. I decided to follow him- if he was looking for Derrick as he seemed to be doing, I might be able to serve the papers and do a solid for my new pal Hondo by giving him a head's up on Timbo's location. I cautiously tailed Timbo to an old strip mall and watched as he entered a hole-in-the-wall Italian restaurant. I didn't know if Derrick was inside, but I didn't see his car in the parking lot so I assumed he wasn't. After waiting for a few minutes I went to a payphone and dialed the number on Hondo's business card and told them I was at Timbo's location. A couple of minutes later Hondo got on the line and I gave him the address and told him what I had seen so far. He asked me to hold tight and to give the office a call again if Timbo left before he and his team arrived. About 20 minutes later they pulled into the parking lot and I walked over to their van. Hondo said he appreciated the tip, and to stay back while they did their business. I had no idea what was going to go down so I got inside my car to watch the action. Two other bounty hunters were with Hondo- Oscar, a tall, thin athletic red-headed man, and Mouse. Hondo and Oscar took up positions flanking the doorway to the restaurant, while Mouse went inside to confirm Timbo was there. When she came back outside she gave her partners the thumbs up. Timbo was finishing up his meal, and he was alone. Mouse took cover behind a group of vehicles. The door opened a short time later and Timbo emerged. He stood there for a moment then stretched and patted his belly, satisfied with his meal. As he stepped into the parking lot, he spotted Hondo and ran in my direction. I wanted to jump out and cut him off, but I didn't know enough about him to risk it. It turned out I wasn't needed anyway; Mouse popped up out of nowhere and tripped him as he ran past a car. Oscar was on top of him almost immediately and got him under control. Mouse cuffed him and helped get him into their van. Hondo came to thank me and formally introduced me to Oscar. "Hey, thanks, man. We appreciate the tip- we've been looking for him for a couple of days." I said, "Hey Mouse! Good to see you again. Ya know, you'd think someone who's on the run from the law wouldn't be going out to eat in public. That seems... unwise." "Yeah. Timbo isn't the brightest guy," replied Oscar. "Here's a little something for the trouble," said Hondo as he pulled a huge wad of cash from his pocket. He gave me $200. I was shocked. "drat! Thanks, Hondo. I'll only make maybe fifty bucks when I finally serve Derrick. I've also been working part-time as a nighttime security guard at a construction site, but that money isn't very good either. And, I think they're about to pause the construction for a while - something about a supply issue. So yeah, this cash will help out." "Fifty bucks?!" said Mouse. "gently caress that noise. That ain't worth it." "It sure isn't," added Oscar. "You need to get on the bail bondsman train. It's fun and the money is decent." I told them I'd think about it but that I wasn't a fan of the police, and bounty hunting sounded like I'd have to deal with cops more than I'd like. "How about you come have some drinks with us after we get Timbo processed," asked Hondo. I agreed. I had nothing else to do that night. I'd try to find Derrick the next day. The four of us met at a local dive bar. Mouse was chowing down on a huge plate of nachos- for a small person, she had a voracious appetite. Oscar and Hondo were playing a game of pool. I sat down with Mouse and poured both of us pints of beer from the full pitcher already on the table. "So how long have you been bounty hunting?" I asked. "Oh, about 4 years I guess. Hondo and Oscar have each been doing it for a decade. Oscar joined us... hmmm... 2 years ago." Hondo and Oscar finished their game and joined us at the table. "So, Sam... Mouse told me you're a professional fighter," said Hondo. "Yep. Been working at making fighting my full-time career, but it's tough. I tend to move around a lot and that doesn't help." "Oh yeah? I did some boxing when I was in the Army," replied Hondo. "I've done some martial arts stuff too," he added. The conversation took a personal turn, and I told them most of my biological family members were dead or missing. Oscar remarked that it must be hard for me, a minority without many people in my life. I explained that I did have friends - good friends - but my wandering lifestyle kept me apart from them most of the time. They seemed to pity me, which I didn't want or appreciate. I figured once they got to know me they'd see that I wasn't as emotionally broken as they thought. We talked a little bit more about me then the subject turned to their bounty hunting business. "So what's the bounty hunting world like? I'm sure y'all have some pretty crazy stories... and I live for crazy stories," I said. "We've had some wild times over the years, that's for sure," said Oscar. Mouse nodded in agreement. "I haven't been doing this nearly as long as these two guys, but yeah it can get dicey. We interact with a lot of weird, wild people." "Well, you've got another one in me," I joked. They talked about some of the people they had dealt with, and they were right- they seemed to get the lion's share of psycho bail jumpers. Somehow, the conversation turned to a case they recently worked which involved someone who stole a bunch of inventory from a mall. I laughed and told them I used to work as a mall security guard, and about The Time I Rode A Donkey Named Hector Through A Mall. Their eyes widened and Oscar asked if they heard me correctly. "Yep, we stole a donkey," I said. "It was a fairly elaborate heist... at least for a bunch of misfits." Hondo took something out of his pocket and bit into it. With most of it hidden in his big hand, I could only see the tip of it. It looked like a piece of chalk but I thought it was more likely a roll of antacids or something similar. They looked at each other, and I could tell they were considering something. I thought maybe they were analyzing my story with their bullshit detectors. We had clicked with one another immediately, and I felt we could all become good friends. And, after hearing more about bounty hunting, I told them I was interested in giving it a shot. Hondo gave me some resources to check out and said he'd contact me later the next week to hang out again. We goofed around at the bar some more then called it a night. I felt like I was about to enter a whole new chapter of my life with some interesting people. I would eventually be proven right, but not in a way I could ever expect. We went out as a group a couple of times over the next few weeks, and I hung out with Oscar and Mouse individually as well. We all got along pretty well, so they started having me do simple jobs for them - deliver and pick up paperwork, drive the van on stakeouts, and I was the go-get-us-some-lunch guy. A couple months of the same went by until I got a meatier assignment. Late one night, I got a phone call from Oscar. "Hey, Sam. We're wondering if you can help us out with something. We'll throw some cash at you of course... more than you've made recently, I bet." "Sounds good!" I replied. "What's up? What do you need from me?" "How good are you at tailing someone?" asked Oscar. "Well, I'm not FBI agent level, but I do have some experience from working with a PI firm in Miami. I can give it a shot," I said. "Okay, we'll try it. Can you meet with me tonight to go over the details?" "Yep. No problem. Just tell me when and where." Later that night I met with Oscar at the bounty hunters' office. He showed me a picture of the target individual - a lovely-looking woman in her mid-60s - and my first thought was 'What could this woman have done?' because she looked like she could be anyone's grandmother. "So... what did she do?" I asked. Oscar was a talkative fellow, but he held his cards close to his chest. He said a lot of words without saying much of anything with any substance. He skirted around the reason for tailing this woman, but he did suggest she was not a bail jumper or in any legal trouble herself. I thought it was odd the bounty hunters would want to tail her instead of approaching her directly and conducting an interview, so I assumed she had a direct connection to a Bad Guy. All I knew was that her name was Gina and she did business with museums and universities. After he told me about her daily habits - where she went, the routes she took, and the vehicle she drove - he handed me a camera with a large telephoto lens, a cell phone, and a photo of her. Tossing me the spare keys to one of their company vehicles, Oscar said "So the plan is to tail her over the next few days. Tomorrow evening, I want you to follow her from her office to her home. The trip is about 45 minutes depending on traffic. Tail her for about 15 minutes, then break off and park in the nearest parking lot. Call me, and I'll bring a different vehicle and park it there. The next day, get to that same spot early and wait for her to pass by. Follow her in the new car for another 15 minutes, and break off again. We'll switch vehicles once more. Rinse and repeat each evening until you make it to her neighborhood." "Okay," I said. "Why all the clandestine maneuvers? Surely she isn't that savvy." "She likely isn't, but the person we're interested in is," said Oscar. "Wait, is she in any danger?" I asked. "Are you sure y'all want me doing this?" "No, she isn't in danger but keep your eyes open," he replied. "And yes we're sure. We have... other fish to fry at the moment. You'll do fine. Oh, and if she meets with anyone anywhere, take notes and snap a few pictures." I agreed to the plan, but in my mind I had questions. Namely, why were they entrusting this to someone with little experience? And what exactly was I expected to discover? From what I knew, Gina didn't seem like a high-value target... but I guessed that's why they tasked me with the job. Another concern was that I was not licensed or insured as a bounty hunter, and I was prone to having things go awry, even if they sometimes worked out in my favor. I desperately needed some money though, so I didn't say anything that would signal my reluctance. The next evening, I did as Oscar directed. I went to Gina's office, followed her for a while then parked the car and called Oscar. He came and made the vehicle switch, and we did the same thing the next two nights. Convinced she had no idea she was being tailed, Oscar revealed to me that the whole endeavor was a practice run, and the real goal was to watch her movements very closely the following week. "We have some intel that she'll be meeting with someone important next week. You're going to tail her... them... and let us know what goes down," Oscar said. "We'll call you next week when the time is right." I was becoming more and more intrigued about whatever the bounty hunters were up to. My intuition told me this whole affair was something extracurricular for them, not related to their usual bail bonds business. I also got the feeling I was being tested or even set up in some way, but I tried not to let paranoia get the better of me.
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Nov 10, 2022 21:51
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i wish i had your life bigpeeler
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Nov 10, 2022 22:13
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lol. someone said those exact words in another story I posted. was it you?
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Nov 10, 2022 22:14
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I dunno if I can vote on this thread, it might be a conflict of interest
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Nov 11, 2022 00:17
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Chapter 4 First Date https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVy9Lgpg1m8 With the work I had been doing for Hondo, I had been busy enough to keep putting off getting in touch with Sunny, the Thai woman I met in Miami years prior. Seeing her twin sister Summer while I was Thailand reminded me how much I wanted to get to know Sunny. I decided to reach out to her and see what she was up to. "Sam! It's good to hear from ya! Summer told me she ran into you. I was hoping you'd call." "For sure!" I replied. "What have you been doing since Miami?" Sunny told me a little about her life since we first met. She was finishing up graduate school and was thinking about her next move. I asked if she was single, and she said she was, so I asked if she wanted to hang out. She immediately said yes, and we made plans for a night out on the town. On date night, we started with a delicious meal at a Persian restaurant. We were standing by my car deciding where to go next - I suggested a cool little improv comedy club - when my cell phone rang. It was Oscar. "Sorry, I have to take this. I'll make it short," I said to Sunny. Oscar started with "I hope you're not busy. Tonight's the night." "I'm on a date - and having a great time," I said as I winked at Sunny. She smiled, nodded in agreement and put her arm around my waist, pulling herself close to me. The sparks were flying. "Well... hmm," Oscar continued. "That might work to your advantage. We're pretty sure she's going to a club to meet our person of interest, and it would be better cover if someone were with you." "I don't want to involve Sunny in anything weird," I said. Sunny surprised me by whispering "I like weird. Let's do weird!" With that, she revealed herself to be my kind of woman! "Haha, it seems she's down for whatever," I said to Oscar. "Where do we need to go?" Oscar said to park near Gina's home, and follow her when she left. I was to call Oscar and let him know wherever we ended up and then follow Gina inside. I had to wonder what a grandmotherly-looking 60-something-year-old woman would be doing at a club of any type, but I'd just have to wait and see. Sunny knew I did work for the bounty hunters occasionally but didn't know to what extent. I told her it wouldn't be anything dangerous - nothing at all like wrestling an alligator like the first time we met in Miami. She was game for anything and knew I would protect her. We drove to a gas station near Gina's residence and waited for a while. Gina passed by, and we started our pursuit. "This is loving exciting!" said Sunny. "I wonder where she's going..." We tailed her for about twenty minutes until she found a parking space near an old brick building with a sign above the door that read "The Lair." Maybe a dozen people were milling about in front of the building, smoking and chatting with each other. As we got closer and parked the car, we could see them more clearly. "Uh, what are they wearing?" asked Sunny. "gently caress if I know," I replied. "What kinda place is this?" Half of the people were dressed in animal costumes - there was a fox, a cat, and some kind of bird thing. Others were decked out in leather from head to toe - including some full-face masks - while a few more were in very scanty lingerie. The Lair was a fetish play club. I looked over at Sunny and she was grinning from ear to ear. Laughing and playfully punching my arm she said "Sam, what have you gotten me into?" "Hell if I know," I replied. "Let me call Oscar real quick. Then we'll go inside and see what this is all about. If they'll let us in. We don't exactly look the part." I told Oscar where we were. "I know of that place," he said. "They probably won't let you in... unless... let me get back to you in a minute." While we waited for him to call back, Sunny and I played a game of "what are they talking about" - imagining what conversations the curiously dressed patrons of this sex club were having. A few minutes later, my phone rang. "So I talked to Hondo - he's more familiar with that club. Anyone can pay a cover and enter the main room, but there's a back room as well. The password for that is 'Spaghetti Monkey'." "Spaghetti Monkey? Am I hearing you correctly?" I asked. Oscar went on to say The Lair was well known to some of the more unsavory types the bounty hunters had dealt with. The club itself and most of the people who frequented it were mostly benign, but there was a seedier, more criminal element that went there. I said "We're not dressed for it... I don't know if they'll let us in the back." Sunny heard that and chimed in. "I can get us in. I don't know how yet, but I can. Trust me." "Uh... Sunny says she has it handled. I guess we'll see," I told Oscar. He told me to take it slow and easy, and not to press anything - just get in, observe, and see who Gina meets with. Sunny and I waited in the car for a little while before we went to the entrance. Gina had been inside for about five minutes. "Well, let's do this," I said to Sunny. As we walked to the door, the crowd watched us with interest. Even though we weren't costumed, we were causing heads to turn. Sunny is an exceptionally attractive, short Thai woman, and I'm a tall, broad-shouldered Native American. We paid the cover charge and stepped inside. It was dark, but sparse lighting illuminated areas around the bar, and a few couches spread throughout the room. Electronic music was playing, but there weren't many people dancing. Most were in small groups, making out with one another. A few people had whips, and a couple were leading each other around on leashes. Pointing at one, Sunny said, "I might have to get one of those for you." We attracted more stares as we made our way to the bar and ordered a couple of drinks. I hadn't yet spotted Gina but we were sure she was still inside. The bartender remarked that we didn't represent the usual clientele. Sunny leaned over to me and whispered "Let me talk to this bartender alone for a minute." I left her at the bar and wandered around the floor, looking for Gina but trying not to be too obvious. After a few minutes of walking around, I saw Gina sitting on one of the couches, talking to a young man wearing a dress made of what looked like clear plastic wrap. In place of underwear, he wore a codpiece. They both got up and walked to a set of French doors, covered in red velvet. The young man knocked and the door opened. A huge, muscular man, dressed as a Spartan, stood guard. The plastic-clad man spoke to the Spartan and moments later the three of them went through and closed the door behind them. It was the entrance to the back room. I went back to the bar and joined Sunny. She had finished talking to the bartender and had a huge smile on her face, but I also saw tears running down her cheeks. "Are you okay?! What happened?" I asked. "Hehehe. I'm fine. I'm pretty sure we can get back there. I told the bartender we were having relationship problems and we needed to spice things up. I cried a little and laid it on thick. She was sympathetic and after some more convincing she said she'd put in the word to security to let us enter. She said there was someone back there who could help us," Sunny said. "I was told to seek out someone she called "The Princess." I was a bit taken aback. Sunny was very charismatic - everyone around her seemed to like her - but I was surprised that she could so easily manipulate someone. I was impressed. And I was glad she was on my side. We went to the backroom entrance and knocked. The Spartan answered, and I shouted "Spaghetti Monkey!" He laughed and said "That's the old password, my man. No worries though. You're good to enter." He waved us through and as we went in. Sunny turned to me and gave me another big mischievous smile. We descended a short spiral staircase and passed through a beaded curtain. Neither of us was prepared for what we saw. The room was dimly lit with mostly red light bulbs and a few black lights here and there. A fog machine created a thin mist that swirled around the ankles of everyone on the dance floor. There were probably about twenty people in the main area. All were dressed in fetish gear - some in leather, some in lace - all were dressed for adult play. Scattered around the room were tables and chairs designed for sex. Some had restraints integrated into them, others had strategically placed holes. Three or four sex swings hung from the ceiling; two of them were occupied. A large, black altar was in the center of the floor. One mostly naked man was bound spread eagle on it, with other people tickling him with feathers and pouring hot candle wax over him. He laughed and cried out in pain at the same time. That was shocking enough - neither Sunny nor I were prudes - but we just weren't expecting what was in front of us. What surprised us, even more, was on the far side of the room. It was a scene from Return Of The Jedi. You know the one - Princess Leia in a bikini, chained to Jabba The Hutt. There was a black couch, situated atop a raised platform - Jabba's throne - with an obese woman in her early 50s on it. The twist was that she was the one in the Princess Leia bikini. She held a long chain in one hand; at the other end of it was another mostly naked man, collared and blindfolded. He crawled around on the floor but would dance whenever the woman tugged on his leash. Beside Princess Jabba was a large hookah pipe, and she'd periodically take a big drag from it.  After we put our eyes back in our skulls, Sunny and I looked at each other and said "What the gently caress?" in unison. Laughing, Sunny said "This is one hell of a first date, Sammy. I love it!" Sunny was and still is the only person on Earth I allow to call me Sammy. I spotted Gina, standing just behind the woman on the Jabba throne, talking in her ear. "What the hell is she doing here?" I said. "She doesn't look like an active participant..." Before I could say anything else, Sunny walked toward the couch. It was obvious Sunny wasn't afraid of much. I should have expected that - after all, back in Miami I watched her and her twin sister beat the poo poo out of a criminal. The fat woman saw Sunny approach and beckoned her to come forward and sit on the couch. I followed and as we got closer I became mesmerized by Princess Hutt. Obese, but with a beautiful face and short blonde hair, she sported one of the most incredible smiles I have ever seen. Her teeth were impossibly straight and white, and her lips were full and bright with red lipstick. She had cute dimples when she smiled, but there was one other attribute that made it hard to look away from her. She introduced herself to us as Sally - the owner of The Lair. As she spoke, she mostly looked down or away from us, avoiding eye contact. When she did turn to us directly, she revealed her severely crossed eyes. It was a wild sight - her gorgeous smile paired with her crossed eyes made it hard not to stare. "I'm Sally - welcome to my lair. Make yourselves at home," she said. "I understand you're looking to spice things up in your sex life." Sunny took that as her cue to continue her lie and scooted a little closer to Sally so she could hear a bit better above the music. I had to remind myself that we weren't on a sightseeing trip, and the goal was to figure out what Gina was up to. I glanced at Gina and nodded a friendly "Hello" to her, and asked her what she thought of the place. "Oh, it's quite interesting," the lovely older lady said. "It's not my scene, I'm just here visiting my friend Sally." I took note of how nervous Gina acted. I didn't think it was simply due to where she was; it seemed she was worried about getting caught. I moved behind Sally's couch so I could stand next to Gina and talk to her a little more. I noticed Gina had a stainless steel briefcase on the floor at her feet. That was an odd thing to bring to a club unless it contained some kind of crazy sex toy. "So, what kinda work do you do?" I asked. Gina said she was a curator for museums and universities. That sounded pretty interesting, so I asked for more details. "I travel around and coordinate the sale and donations of antiquities- art, artifacts, books... you name it. If it's old and exotic, I'm interested in acquiring it." Suddenly, Sally rose from her throne and told Gina to follow her to Sally's office. Gina grabbed the briefcase and left with the cross-eyed Princess. Upon reaching her office door, Sally turned and yelled at Sunny to follow them. Sunny wasted no time - she was right on their heels. Before exiting the main room, Sunny turned to me and gave me a smile and thumbs-up. I knew she was comfortable playing along and didn't need me to accompany her. Sunny was gone for about ten minutes before returning. In the meantime, I just sat on the couch, took a couple of hits from the hookah pipe, and watched everyone enjoying themselves - and each other. "Well... what was your conversation with Sally like?" I asked Sunny. "It was interesting," she replied. "We talked about relationship problems. Sally used to be a therapist but quit that to open this club. Her office is pretty tame compared to the rest of the place. There's cool art on the walls, a couple of what looked like old African artifacts, and a big safe. She gave me these." Sunny handed me a stack of pamphlets, all of them related to sexual dysfunction among couples. With a wink, Sunny said "Don't worry, Sammy. We won't need these." She then went on to say Gina looked even more nervous in the office than she had before. "She seemed impatient and kept hinting to Sally that she needed to get going. As I was leaving I glanced back and Gina had the briefcase on Sally's desk, and just started to open it when I walked out." "I need to call Oscar and let him know what we found out," I said. "Then we can continue our date." Sunny replied, "Sounds good. We can finish the night at my place if you'd like." I called Oscar and told him everything that happened. He was disappointed that I had talked to Gina, but I explained we had already attracted the attention of Sally, and Gina was right there with her, so it would've been awkward if I hadn't said anything at all. "Okay," said Oscar. "Call me tomorrow and we'll set up a time to go over everything with the rest of the team." After that, Sunny and I hung out at her place and laughed about the night's events. I told her I hoped I - and by extension, her - wouldn't get dragged into anything dumber than what already happened. Ha. Yeah, right.
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Nov 11, 2022 18:30
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Chapter 5 Welcome To The Jungle https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1tj2zJ2Wvg I called Oscar the following morning, and he told me to meet the crew at Hondo's house. I thought it odd to meet there instead of at the office, but I was excited to see Hondo's home as I had heard a little about how nice it was. I wasn't sure I was in the right neighborhood when I arrived. I was in the land of McMansions; to the eyes of this poor farm boy, the homes in the gated community were enormous. After telling the guard at the gate who I was there to meet, I slowly drove along the tree-lined street, marveling at all the houses and fancy cars. I wondered what the hell all these people did for a living, and wondered how the hell a bounty hunter could afford to live there. Hondo came out to greet me as I pulled into his driveway. He was shirtless, and I could finally appreciate how big and muscular he was. I was maybe two inches taller, but he was wider in the chest and shoulders... and I had a big chest and shoulders. It finally dawned on me who he reminded me of - Kingpin from the Daredevil comic books. "Hiya, Sam!", he said. "Everyone is out back by the pool. If you need swimming trunks, there are some in the pool house. I'm gonna get something to drink. Want anything?" It was a hot day in July, so sitting by the pool and at least getting my feet wet sounded nice. "Yeah, sure, I'll take an iced tea," I replied. I walked through the house, taking note of the beautiful art and decor. Hondo and Mouse seemed to be people of very refined tastes. It was not at all what I expected when I first met them. Again, I thought "How the hell can they afford this?" Their office wasn't anything special, and they had modest vehicles - nice, but modest compared to the others I saw in the neighborhood. Hondo returned from the kitchen as I was looking up at a trophy bear head mounted on the wall. "I bagged that big boy up in Alaska years ago," he said. "I'll show you more later. Right now we've got business to discuss." We joined Mouse at the poolside table. She adjusted the big umbrella to make sure we all had some shade. Curiously, Oscar was absent. I thought for sure he would be there since he had been the one coordinating everything with me. "So, Sam... tell us all about what happened last night. I heard you were on a date! How did it go? What did she think about the club?" asked Hondo. "Ha, yeah. It was my first date with her. We got along great, and she didn't balk at the idea of going in there. She was excited to be doing something out of the ordinary. She helped out quite a bit." I went on to tell everyone what happened at the club, meeting Cross-Eyed Sally (a name Sunny gave her), and the mysterious briefcase Gina had with her. "Well hell, maybe you should share some of this with your girl," he said while tossing me a huge roll of cash. It was $2000. "Uh... wha...that's a lot of... cash," I said. "Just for following Gina?" "Well, that... and... a little something to whet your appetite. But we'll get to that later. Let's just say that we've got a job coming up, and we're going to need you," he said. I thought "A big job? Hm. Why do I get the feeling he isn't talking about a bounty hunting gig?" I didn't want to get involved in anything illegal. It seemed Mouse read my mind. She said "Don't worry, bud. It's not anything illegal." Honestly, I didn't feel that much better hearing that. Hondo said, "Mouse, why don't you take Sam inside to my office and show him around. Our other guest should be here soon." Another guest? I thought. What the hell is going on here? Mouse took me on a tour of the house. I counted 6 bedrooms, 2 offices, a den, a huge kitchen, and a giant living area. I lost count of the bathrooms. I was about to ditch any sense of etiquette and just directly ask Mouse 'How the gently caress do you two afford all this' when she stopped at the wall with the bear head trophy. "And now, Sam, you get to see something special." She pressed her hand firmly against the right corner, and the wall began to turn on its center axis. Mouse smiled and stepped into the hidden room. Moments later, lights automatically turned on and my eyes widened when I could see the interior. More animal trophies were mounted throughout the room - Moose, boar, bears, and deer. There was even a loving platypus. But the centerpiece was the thing that caught my eye. It was a lion. And not just the head; it was the whole goddamn animal. A big lion, at that. There were other critters I sort of recognized but couldn't name - it looked like Hondo had been all over the world killing exotics. The entire room was decorated with a mish-mash of both fake and real exotic plants - some from African savannahs, some from places like the Amazon rainforest. I also noticed a pair of Golden Gloves hanging on the wall behind the desk - it seemed Hondo had been quite a good boxer while in the Army.  "Wow," I said. "Did Hondo hunt all of these?" Mouse replied, "He shot some, I bagged a few others. The rest, we acquired from dealers." I thought it was all pretty gross. Game hunting is fine and all - I grew up hunting deer and fowl on our property - but this kind of big game hunting didn't sit well with me. I mean, who is going to eat a loving lion, and responsibly use all parts of the animal? This was killing for killing's sake. Hondo was also featured in a number of pictures on the wall. There were framed shots of him whitewater rafting, trekking through wild places, and climbing mountains. Big mountains, too. It seemed he was something of an adventurer. Mouse saw me looking at one of Hondo in climbing gear and said "There isn't a mountain on earth he won't go after," she said. "Though he hasn't tackled Everest or K-2... yet." Mouse gestured to a large sofa and asked me to have a seat while she went to get the others. She said the final guest had probably arrived, and we'd all be getting together to talk about something. While she was gone, I took in as much of the room as I could. This was not a situation I had been in before, so I wanted to make as many mental notes as I could, in case I needed to recall something later. I just had a feeling that eventually, something would go awry. Hondo's desk was in the middle of the room. It was smaller and less ornate than the famous Resolute Desk in the White House, but only slightly less so. On the desk, I noticed a roughly 12x12 inch wooden plaque, similar to those on the walls, though this one didn't have anything affixed to it. And, on one of the walls, was a blank space right next to a rhinoceros horn. That horn got to me. I didn't like imagining the suffering the animal went through, just for some rear end in a top hat to get a trophy. The blank plaque had a nameplate at the bottom - with the Latin name of the specimen that would eventually be displayed on it. I couldn't make out the text and likely wouldn't have known what the name was for, anyway. I was able to read the Engish portion though - it said "Cambodia, 2001". That got the wheels in my head turning. Was Mouse in Bangkok for something related to all this trophy hunting? I heard Mouse call out to me. "Sam! Come out to the pool, please. Our guest is here." I made my way out to the back and was surprised to see who had arrived. It was Cross-Eyed Sally. Dressed very conservatively, she looked a lot unlike her club persona. I was surprised to see she wore glasses to correct her strabismus. Her incredible smile was still the same, though. She was carrying the briefcase Gina had the night before. "Oh hey! You're the guy from the club last night... Sam, was it?" she said. "You were with Sunny... yeah!" She turned to Hondo and asked what I was doing there. "Yeah... what is this?" I asked. Hondo said, "Sally is our client, Sam." Turning to Sally, he said "And Sam is part of our team. He'll be accompanying us during the deal. We sent him to your club to get familiar with the area where the deal will be done, and to make sure Gina arrived safely. The items she's carting around could attract all kinds of bad actors. We didn't know Sam would be on a date, though!" I thought What the gently caress? This explanation doesn't jive with what I was told... "Ah ok," Sally replied. "I'm glad to know y'all have it covered; there's a lot of money involved here. But... don't you have another partner?" "Yes... Oscar," said Mouse. "He'll be with us, he's just doing something else today." "Let's go inside," Hondo said. Sally and I followed Mouse and Hondo into the hidden office. "Welcome to the jungle," he said. "Let's talk." Hondo opened a cigar box on his desk, took out a piece of chalk, and bit into it. That was probably the sixth time I had seen him do it, and the first time I was able to tell what it was. It seemed odd to me; it was almost like a nervous tic or compulsion. He caught me up on the plan. Gina was set to deliver some fine art to Sally, and our crew was to serve as security on Sally's end. That seemed legit - back in Miami at the PI firm I worked for years before, I had accompanied all sorts of packages. It wasn't just possible theft of transported goods that we were concerned with; a large part of security couriering is making sure the items aren't damaged in any way. Shipping them is stressful enough- once they were close enough to the intended recipient, most parties paid extra to have a security team ensure their arrival. Postal insurance wasn't enough when dealing with truly expensive or even priceless items. If the package was from across the globe, multiple security details were often used at different shipping exchanges and ports along the way. The whole deal had been orchestrated by Hondo and Gina. Hondo met Sally through her therapy practice and eventually found out that Sally's friend Gina was a curator and dealer. He agreed to facilitate Sally's deal if Gina could also get him a few items he wanted. Hondo showed me a picture of the art Sally was buying- a watercolor of a white crane, by an unknown Chinese artist. It was old and beautiful and in very good condition. He said Sally was also acquiring an urn that supposedly contained the artist's ashes. I didn't ask how much Sally was paying for it, and us, but it was a lot. It had to be, to warrant all this. The when and where of the transaction had not yet been finalized. The deal had already been postponed once because of a delay in the country of origin - China. Now, another delay threatened to push the sale and transfer to September. Hondo grinned as he opened the briefcase and said "I've been wanting to add this to my collection for a while." "What do ya think Sam?" asked Hondo. "Will these look good on my wall?" He spun the briefcase around so I could see the contents- two pieces of elephant ivory. My heart sank. We finished our discussion about the sale and the roles each of us would play, had a couple of drinks, then concluded our meeting. I went home to my apartment and stayed awake most of the night, thinking about the ivory and my elephant friend Daisy. isaboo fucked around with this message at 18:23 on Nov 14, 2022 |
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Nov 12, 2022 20:47
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Chapter 6 Comanche Moon https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hzm9BK5UbIA Hondo didn't have much scheduled for me for the next couple of weeks, so with the $2000 he gave me, I decided to take a trip - one that I had intended to take many times but never did for various reasons. When I brought up the idea to Sunny, she implored me to go, saying she thought it would be really good for me. I headed to Oklahoma, to the Comanche community from which I was adopted. During the 14-hour drive, I thought a lot about what Hondo told us in The Jungle. My task of tailing Gina was a test concocted by Hondo and his crew. They needed to see if I could follow directions, be discreet, take good notes, and follow through. Honestly, if Sunny hadn't been with me, I probably wouldn't have been able to get as far as we did. I didn't want to get her involved in anything more, though - especially since I had a gut feeling of something being 'off' about the whole affair they were planning. While enroute I also thought about how exciting it would be to learn more about my past. My early childhood is all but unknown to me. I was born the sixth son of a seventh son; I was so close to having special powers - if you believe in popular folklore and myths. My mother died shortly after my birth, so I never had a chance to know her. My father drank himself crazy and died a couple of years after that, and my brothers scattered to the winds. I know two were killed in their teens, and the oldest eventually found himself in prison - I don't know what happened to the other two. I bounced around from family to family, from foster home to foster home, for my first several years on Earth. At age 7 I had an accident that resulted in a traumatic brain injury. A blood clot formed on my brain, and I underwent surgery to drain it. A side effect was that any small, fragmented memories I had were wiped out. I wouldn't even start grade school until I was almost 9 when I was finally adopted. The first thing I can truly say I remember clearly was meeting the white couple who adopted me - Henry and Maggie. The three of us knew, at our first meeting, that we would become a family. I couldn't have chosen better parents. After the adoption was finalized, we moved to their farm in Georgia. I had so much fun and love there that I never really felt the need to go back to Oklahoma and learn about my heritage. I kept putting it off, and eventually, Life just got to the point where I had no time or interest. Now, with a girlfriend who I knew would be my last, I felt it was a good time to visit. "Who're your folks?" asked William, the first Comanche elder I talked to. "That's... kinda why I'm here," I replied. "I know their names, and I found out where they lived, but that's about it. I don't know anything about my brothers." I told him the names of my birth parents, and he smiled. "Ah, yes. I remember them. Good people, but unfortunate circumstances. They were taken too soon. And... I thought there were seven kids. I must be wrong," he said. He asked what happened since my adoption, and I told him about Henry and Maggie and the wonderful life I had on the farm. He seemed pleased that I was able to stay in harmony with the Earth while growing up away from the traditions of our people. I told him about my life as a professional fighter, and about traveling all over the world and learning different fighting styles. He remarked that it seemed my Comanche warrior spirit had not been diminished. He also mused that my early childhood injury must've given me an appetite for getting punched in the head. I laughed and agreed. He directed me to the local library and culture center, where I could do some research on the area and the families who had lived there. At the end of our conversation, he invited me to a small gathering going on later that week. I told him I wasn't sure if I'd fit in, that I was all but ignorant about our culture. "Well, get some studying done, and come check it out," he said. With a wink, he added "The ceremony will be good for you. Trust me." After my meet and greet with William, I went to the library's genealogy room as he suggested and was able to find copies of some of my family's birth and death announcements. I finally learned the names of my siblings, and how two of my brothers had died - a tragic fire in a mobile home. With a couple of days to kill before the ceremony, I just wandered around the area and got to know a few of the residents. All of them were very welcoming, and some of the older men and women did remember my family. One of them said she thought there were seven children, just as William had said. That intrigued me - what if I did have another brother? What happened to him? Where was he now? I went back to the genealogy room and did more digging, and eventually found a seventh birth certificate with the names of my biological parents on it. There was one small problem - it was partially burned so I wasn't able to see the sex or birth date of the child. I didn't know if it was a brother or sister, or if they were younger or older. Hell, it could have been a duplicate of one of the others for all I knew. I'd have to think of another way to find out. * * * * The night of the ceremony was beautiful. The moon was full and the stars were brilliant pinpoints of light piercing the welkin. There were about six other people in attendance, including William. Everyone was dressed in traditional garb - a breechclout (or loincloth), leggings, and moccasins. William had an extra full set that he loaned me, and as soon as I put it on I began to feel differently. It's hard to describe, but it felt like a trickle of energy began flowing throughout me. I was raised in a secular environment, and I have never been "spiritual", but this night was different. The shared heritage, camaraderie, and setting were eliciting some kind of primal response in me. We began with a drum circle around a small bonfire. I didn't know anything about traditional tribal beats, but the first few songs were easy enough to follow. As we progressed, the chants became more complicated and I did my best to follow along. During the drumming, William and one of the elder women told short fables and tales about our people. After a couple of hours of that, it was time to take the ceremony to the next level - the sweat lodge. The sweat lodge was a low-to-the-ground dome structure built from tree branches and covered with blankets. Sprigs of herbs like sage and peppermint hung above the door, along with several feathers. Essentially a sauna, the inside of the hut contained the grandfather stones - believed to hold the spirits of our ancestors. One person in the group was the pourer, responsible for wetting the stones to release the ancestral spirits from the blazing hot rocks. Once freed the spirits would enter our bodies and drive away pain and affliction, and hopefully give us insight into our lives. I was the last to crawl inside, and as I did William grinned and handed me a small wooden bowl. He said "Eat this, and allow your spirit to soar. Be not afraid." The bowl held ground-up buttons of peyote, a type of cactus containing the psychoactive compound mescaline. The others were passing around cigarettes made from fresh tobacco and rolled in corn husks. The elder woman placed cups of peyote tea at our feet. I was no stranger to psychedelics but as any user knows, set and setting are vital. With a setting as special as this, I hoped my experience would be something out of the ordinary. How could it not be? William explained that a lot of the traditions had been lost to the sands of time, and that not every present-day Comanche was keen on using peyote as a sacrament. He also lamented the loss of a big portion of our language. The other elders asked me more about my life so far and asked if I had ever felt the presence of my ancestors. A bit embarrassed, I replied that I had not but at certain times in my life during times of stress, I did find myself "calling out" to them, despite my general lack of belief. He nodded, and said that was typical of those who had left the tribal land but added "you may leave the land and the tribe, but they never leave you." Our conversation turned to how important it was for every native person to return to the land that supported their ancestors, to reconnect with the Great Spirit, and eventually be buried on tribal land. That last bit got to me - with most of my family dead and buried, I suddenly felt alone. He could see it weighing on me, and as he directed the pourer to wet the stones, he said "The spirits of all who came before you are here, and here yours will rest when your time has come. You will be reunited with your kind, as all of the Great Spirit's creatures should be." With that statement, the peyote kicked in and I was gone. Gone to another, yet familiar, world.
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Nov 13, 2022 18:02
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I’ve not read any of this but, uh, good work op, maybe?
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Nov 13, 2022 19:08
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I've read all of this so far and it's reminding me of some of the reasons I joined SA. Wonderful story, OP. Can't wait for more. And the photos of all the LEGO people and places are surreal and incredible. Thanks for posting and please keep it up.
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Nov 13, 2022 22:08
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Feels like old GBS for sure, in a good way
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Nov 13, 2022 22:35
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Guineapig posted:I've read all of this so far and it's reminding me of some of the reasons I joined SA. ante posted:Feels like old GBS for sure, in a good way Thank you both! The stories of early SA were got me to join as well, and that's the vibe I'm going for. Bigpeeler, humper monkey, etc all had great, ridiculous stories, and I miss that stuff.
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Nov 13, 2022 23:10
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Chapter 7 Indian (A special note about this chapter title and song choice- I started writing this when the invasion of Ukraine was just starting. While looking through my music collection, I happened across Stoned Jesus. They're from Ukraine, and this song is about Native Americans. There are plenty of Native American bands I could have chosen for this chapter, but I thought Stoned Jesus was the better choice considering the circumstances. They're a fantastic stoner band, which also appeals to me )https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P209BzMbL9Q My waking dream - my vision - began to take shape. The first to come was the landscape. I saw the Great Plains, the home of my people, and mountains in the distance. The mountains started to grow and soon nearly blotted out the sun. Time seemed to accelerate; I saw other tribes, our ancestors, moving down from the north to the plains and eventually dispersing into other groups and forming new nations. Herds of buffalo and horses roamed everywhere and I could see women and children sitting around teepees playing games and singing. The Comanche men did battle with other tribes, dangling from the side of their mounts, using the horses to shield the warriors from the arrows of their enemies. The figures were crisp and easily discernable - until the White Man arrived. With the appearance of the White Man, the clear visuals transformed into amorphous blobs, but I felt enough to know what was going on. The invaders traded and intermingled with the native peoples. The once verdant, open land gave way to White settlements and towns. Our traditions became diluted, and languages were lost. I felt a heavy, heavy weight as I saw other tribes being forced to march across vast distances, away from their homes. History continued to catch up to present times, and I saw myself. Again, it was an indiscernible form, but I knew it was me. I was standing atop a mountain, looking down at the Great Spirit's creation, shedding tears over all that had been lost. Other shadowy figures joined me - my parents and five brothers. They stood beside me, chanting ancient words. Vague shapes of animals flooded the plains below. Dogs, horses, deer, buffalo, and other unidentifiable creatures slowly made their way up the hillside. Some faded away and vanished completely; others had their numbers drastically reduced. Those that made it laid down at my feet and whimpered as if asking for protection. Clouds rolled in; the sky boiled with anger and lightning threatened to tear the welkin asunder. The chanting of my family members became louder and more intense, mingling with the sounds of the thunderous storm. They were lifted into the air and collapsed into a pile of bones beside me. I gathered the bones into a large buffalo hide and carried them down the mountain. A cold, clear stream appeared and I washed my face, letting my tears become one with the water. Continuing the song of my family, I dug a hole and buried their remains there. As I turned to walk away, a magnificent horse appeared and beckoned me to ride it. Just as I was about to climb onto the stallion, I felt a hand touch my shoulder. I turned around and was face to face with another sibling - a brother I had not known of before. The Great Spirt spoke to me through him- "You are not alone. I am with you. I am the trees, the air, the water, the plains. Hear my voice in the trickling stream. Feel my breath on your face. Lift the rock, and I am there." The animals at my feet rose and nuzzled me, and I snapped out of my transcendent state. For several minutes I couldn't say anything. I sat there, watching the other people in the hut work through whatever they were experiencing. One by one, each of them opened their eyes and rejoined us in the present. A couple were crying, a couple were laughing, and others were silent with deep introspection. Smiling, William asked, "Well, how was it?" I replied, "It was... intense." The pourer added "You do not have to but if you wish, you can share your experience with us. It's up to you." Since it was my first experience with my native brethren and I was absolutely out of my element, I decided to tell them what I saw and felt. From how they reacted it seemed the themes of my vision were not at all uncommon. William honed in on the representation of the mountain and the animals. "Tell us... what has your experience been with our animal brothers? You said you grew up on a farm..." I told him I have always felt an affinity with them. Growing up I was the guy who could calm down the few horses we had if they were agitated, and I always had dogs as companions. I even became a friend to a coyote at one point. Everywhere I went it seemed that animals were drawn to me. Some of my prior crazy adventures had been centered around animals - a giant donkey, a pack of wild dogs, and even a magnificently terrifying cat. "You're safe harbor for them," said one of the elder women. "They sense this. They know that with you, they're safe." "And the mountain?" I asked. "What of the mountain?" They all looked at each and giggled. William said "Isn't it obvious? You're a big man. Strong. Athletic. Assured. You walk with the might of the Earth. Those around you - man and beast - seek your shadow; your shelter." The old woman asked me to step outside of the hut for a few minutes and stretch my legs while they talked among themselves. They wanted to discuss something about me and my experience. A few minutes later, the pourer called me back inside. William laid a small parcel wrapped in leather at my feet. "Open it," he said. "This belonged to your father's father, and his father before him," said the old woman. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I carefully unwrapped the gift. It was a stone club, with only a few inches of the shaft still intact. A single feather was loosely affixed where the stone was bound to the handle. "Where... where did you get this?" I asked. My hands shook and my voice trembled. The old woman said "Before your father died, he asked the tribal leaders to keep it safe. He knew one of his seven sons would return for it." "Seven?! Are you sure?" "Yes," she said. "There is another." "Sadly, we don't know his name or where he is," added William. The old woman said, "But... we know your name, now, after your vision. Take it with you and never let it die." She leaned over and whispered it in my ear, in both English and Comanche. "Toya ma numitu - Walking Mountain."
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Nov 13, 2022 23:12
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Nov 14, 2022 00:13
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Fight the power!
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Nov 14, 2022 00:45
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I read all that And I'm happy for you And sorry that happened
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Nov 14, 2022 00:52
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Chapter 8 The Setup https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHf5rAG2aRI After a wonderful, insightful, and emotional visit to Oklahoma, I drove back home to Atlanta. Before I left Oklahoma I called Sunny and told her everything I found out about my brother. I asked her to contact someone at the Bureau Of Indian Affairs to see if she could get some helpful information. By the time I got home, she had found a list of some possible contacts - people who might know my brother. She also discovered my brother's first name, Ray, and his last known address was in Wyoming. I was excited that she was able to find something, but my attention to that matter would have to wait. Hondo called me to ask how my trip went. I told him it was cool to connect with my Comanche people and that I had learned about my brother. The conversation then turned to the project we had been working on. "So... about the sale of the artifacts... they're in the US now, and Gina is arranging their delivery to Sally. Can you come by my house later to discuss a few things?" he asked. "Sure," I said. "I'll be there." When I got to Hondo's house later that day I noticed that the ivory tusks were hanging on the plaque on the wall opposite his desk. Seeing them like that made me feel sick all over again. "What do ya need from me?" I asked. Hondo opened the cigar box on his desk, took out a piece of chalk, and bit off a small piece. He saw the quizzical look on my face and said "It's for my stomach. It's better than any over-the-counter stuff." Hoookay, I thought. I didn't buy that explanation. "I need you to tail somebody - this one is a bail jumper. Oscar and Mouse are working on another case and I have to go to the courthouse. Do the usual - follow him and call me to let me know where he goes." I wondered why, if this guy was a bail jumper, would they not just wait until the entire team was available to capture him. It seemed to me that this was a waste of time; I couldn't legally apprehend the target. "Alright, can do," I said. "Do ya need anything else from me?" "Actually, yeah. Can you deliver this to Sally at her club?" he asked. Hondo pointed to a package on his desk. "It's nothing special - just some documents and a couple of other things. I'm going to purchase a piece of art Sally has in her office. If I'm not mistaken, her club is on your way home." "Yep, it is. I'll deliver it to her tonight," I said. "Okay, cool. Wait here. I'll go get you some cash," said Hondo. While Hondo went to get cash from his bedroom safe, I grabbed a couple of pieces of chalk from the box on his desk. I don't know why I did, it just felt like the thing to do at the time. Hondo returned and tossed me a wad of cash, along with photos of my target and his vehicle. "Here's 1000 bucks. I think we owe you some, right?" he said. I couldn't recall them owing me anything, but hell, I wasn't going to turn down that much cash. "Hell yeah, Hondo! Thanks!" I said. I took the package, left his house, and drove to the location where Hondo thought the bail jumper was most likely to show himself. It was in a neighborhood known for its trap houses- crappy-looking houses where drugs were bought and sold. I drove around the area a few times before I spotted the subject getting into his car. Something about this didn't feel right. I didn't like being sent into a neighborhood where I was definitely out of place, alone and unarmed, and without much knowledge of the situation. I didn't know if the guy I was supposed to follow was dangerous, if he had friends with him, and so on. I decided to leave and call Hondo later to tell him that I lost the subject. I headed to Sally's club to deliver the package, and on the way there I got the distinct feeling that I was being followed. I wasn't sure who it was, but it was likely one of the drug dealers checking me out. I was certain they spotted me and probably thought I was law enforcement. After a few miles, I saw the car peel off and end its pursuit. When I got to The Lair, I again had the feeling that I was being watched as I walked from my car to the front door. I glanced around but didn't see anyone. If anyone had eyes on me, they were well hidden. Sally was in the process of leaving for the day when I got to her office. "Hey, Sam! Whatchya got for me?" she asked. "Hondo said it's just some documents and things. Something about a piece of art he wants to buy from you," I replied. "Ah. Yeah. He wants that," she said, pointing to an abstract painting on the wall. "I don't know why, though, it doesn't fit his style. But I'll take the money he's offering for it!" We walked out of the office together, and she turned to enter the alarm code for the security system. I'm a sneaky bastard, so I watched from the corner of my eye as she pressed the keys. At this point, after seeing her key it in a couple of times before, I was sure I had 3 of the 4 numbers. Since it had been on my mind for a while, I brought up Hondo's chalk-eating habit. "Let me ask you something, Sally. Have you noticed how Hondo sometimes eats chalk? He says it's for his stomach but I know there's better stuff for that than raw fuckin' chalk," I said. She laughed and said, "Haha! Yeah. That came up when I first met him and Mouse. They were clients of mine when I was a therapist. Turns out, when he was a child his mother made him eat chalk if he was a bad boy. Over time, it became a stress response and then a compulsion. I've seen him do it many times and I keep telling him that it's bad for his stomach, but he doesn't listen. Why do you ask?" "I dunno," I said. "I've just always wondered. Seems weird, that's all." "Oh, by the way - my painting and urn have arrived from China. After Gina looks it over and confirms its authenticity, we're going to finalize the deal. I just found out a little while ago, and haven't told Hondo yet. Will you let him know?" she asked. "Sure! You must be excited," I replied. "I know you've been waiting for it forever." She then said something that she shouldn't have. "Yeah, the smugg- the Chinese curators - had a hard time getting it out of China," she said. She tried to cover up her slip of the tongue by adding "Something about the documents of provenance. I don't know." She awkwardly took off her glasses and flashed her big cross-eyed smile at me, in an attempt to make me forget or disregard what she said. She rushed out of the club, saying "Anyway, I've gotta go. See ya soon!" Well, that was... something. Did she start to say smugglers? What have I gotten myself into? A whole heap of bullshit, that's what.
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Nov 14, 2022 18:29
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Chapter 9 Been Caught Stealing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrwjiO1MCVs Back at my apartment, I began to piece together what I had seen so far. The ivory, Sally's slip-up, and the rigamarole that I had been put through. Nothing seemed to add up to a simple art deal, or anything involving a bounty. Something illicit was going on, that much was obvious now, and I was determined to find out what. My front door flew open and Sunny rushed in. "Sammy! I found him! I found Ray! I just talked to him on the phone," she exclaimed. My heart skipped a beat and I said "What?! You found Ray? Where is he? Is he ok?" "He's in Washington, DC at the moment but he'll be heading here tomorrow," she replied. Hugging her, I said "Holy poo poo, Sunny! Thank you so much! This is great news!" "So how was your day," she asked. "Well, it was... enlightening. I'm not sure what to do. I'm pretty sure Hondo has been lying to me from the beginning. I've figured out his tell. No wonder he never wanted to play poker," I said, laughing. I told her about my encounter with Sally, and her immediate thought was to go to the police. "Well, yeah, I could, but there are two problems with that. One, I'm not quite sure what they are planning but I think it has something to do with stolen art and artifacts. Two, Oscar is a former cop and likely has cohorts on the force. I don't know who I could trust. The feds, maybe? But again, I don't have much to go on... just a hunch," I said. "Just be careful, Sammy. If you're right, they are dangerous people," Sunny said. My phone rang and as I answered it I whispered to Sunny "It's Oscar." "Yo! Sam! What's up bud," he asked. He sounded chipper and more conversational than usual. It was like he was about to butter me up. "Hondo and I have talked it over and since you've been doing such a good job for us, we want to reward with you a lucrative gig," he said. "Oh yeah? What's that," I asked, rolling my eyes at Sunny. I knew he was about to lay down a thick layer of horseshit. Oscar said that it would be better to have the whole crew present, and asked if I could drop by Hondo's place. I told Sunny that I had to go, and she once again implored me to be careful. I told her I would, and not to worry - I had been in plenty of sticky situations before and somehow survived. When I arrived at Hondo's, Mouse greeted me at the front door. She said, "You're in the big time now, Sam." I wondered what the hell she meant by that. Oscar and Hondo were in The Jungle, looking at a couple of manila envelopes on the desk. They were speaking in hushed tones and stopped when I entered the room. "Hiya, Sam! How's Sunny? Heard anything more about your brother?" Hondo asked. I didn't want to say anything about Ray partly because it was none of their business and I also didn't want them to try to drag him into anything, so I said I hadn't. "Ah, well. drat. I hope you find him," said Mouse. "So, what do y'all have for me?" I asked. After biting off a piece of chalk, Hondo said "It's simple. We just need you to drive us to the location of a criminal at large. We've been tracking him for a while now - you might have heard us talk about him. You were in Oklahoma when we finally got a good lead. Now we know where he hangs out. We're going to take him, tonight, and we need you there as backup... keep the van running, and be another set of eyes for us. We're not sure who will be with him." My bullshit detector practically overloaded. First of all, I hadn't heard anything about this guy they were after. They hadn't asked me to tail him, and as far as I knew, none of them had followed him either. Secondly, there was the problem of my unlicensed status. What if something went wrong and I had to intervene? How would that play out in a court of law if it came to that? These were questions I didn't have the answer to and they were glaring holes in Hondo's story. Something wasn't right. Still, I went along. What if I was simply misunderstanding everything? "Okay. Sounds easy enough," I said. "When is this going down?" "Around midnight tonight," said Oscar. "Wear something black." Hondo tossed me a new burner cellphone. "Take this, in case we get separated. Meet us at our office at 11:30 tonight." * * * * At the bounty hunters' office, we piled into their van. I noticed a large toolbox in the back. "Let's roll," said Hondo. We drove to where the suspect was thought to hang out... or that's what they told me. When we got there, my suspicions grew. It was a small warehouse-looking structure - with a regular steel door at the front and a large roll-up door at the back. A shipping container maybe the length of a short school bus was right beside the back door. One adjacent lot was empty, and on the other side was a diner that was closed for the night. The general area was a run-down part of town, and I hadn't spotted any people milling about anywhere nearby. For a moment I thought it might very well be a good place for a criminal to hide. Maybe this whole thing was a legit operation. Hondo directed me to park behind the diner, out of sight. Hondo and Oscar opened the back doors of the van, grabbed the toolbox, and headed to the warehouse. I thought it odd that Mouse wasn't with us, and no one had mentioned her whereabouts. Hondo radioed me over our walkie-talkies. "Alright, we're about to start." Start what, I thought. A minute or two later I heard the distinct sound of a power tool - a grinder or saw or something like that. Were these fuckers breaking into wherever the guy was holed up? That seemed dumb, but I wasn't a professional bounty hunter so what did I know? Oscar's voice came in over the radio. "We're... almost... in. Just a few more minutes." "I don't like this," I said out loud to no one. A couple of minutes later Hondo and Oscar rounded the corner of the diner, carrying a large crate between them. On top of the crate were large, flat, square objects wrapped in paper. Carefully placing it all in the van, Oscar said "gently caress, this thing is heavier than we thought. We couldn't carry it and the toolbox." "Sam, drive by the back of the warehouse," said Hondo. "I'll get the tools." I did as he said and Hondo grabbed the toolbox and scrambled back into the van. "Hit it," he yelled. "Let's get to Sally's." As we drove away, I could see what they had done. They cut through the locks of the shipping container and got whatever was inside. I yelled "What the gently caress is going on?! I'm not sure I want to be a part of this." "Too late for that," said Oscar. "Just drive to Sally's. Quickly, but safely. Do not get us pulled over." Hondo was in the back, peering into the crate. "Oh my god, this is fantastic. This thing is beautiful, in a way. Wow." It was obvious now - this was a smash and grab. There was no bounty, and no wanted criminal involved. The only bad guys were the people around me, and they had dragged me into their criminal world.
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Nov 15, 2022 18:28
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Chapter 10 Hung Out To Dry https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDffGIDccTo We got to The Lair, and Sally was waiting for us outside the door to her office along with Mouse. The club was closed, which was rare for this time of night. With her hands on her hips and wearing her cherry and bone smile, she said "How did it go? Did we all get what we wanted?" Laughing, Oscar said "Yep, we did. Except for Sam, maybe." That pissed me off even more than I already was. I was already an accomplice, and now they were just insulting me. I kept my mouth shut. I didn't want to make the situation worse. "Welllll... show it to me," Sally said, leading us into her office. Hondo and Oscar took the paper off of the square items. They were paintings. I was a dumbass when it came to art so I couldn't identify any of them, but they looked old. I counted three of them - two looked like abstract pieces, and the other was of a landscape. "Good, good. Those will look great on my wall. Now... show me the Big Boy," Sally said. Hondo and Oscar hoisted the crate onto Sally's desk and pried off the two padlocks securing the lid. They carefully opened it and removed a bit of packing material. Sally moved her desk lamp to shine a little more light on the contents. I noticed an old packing slip still affixed to the box - it read 'Fragile' and indicated the crate had passed through 'Frank-something' at some point in its life. My guess was Frankfurt. "Wow... it's... magnificent," Sally said. Mouse, Hondo, and Oscar replied in unison - "It sure is." "Sam, take a look at what you've helped us acquire," said Hondo. It took me a moment to realize what I was seeing, and I recognized the general form, but there was no way I could discern exactly what kind it was. That would require a professional from a field I knew absolutely nothing about. "Are... are you serious," I asked. "That is what this is all about? I don't... what... why the gently caress did you get me involved in this?!" "We'll talk later. For now, let's get back to The Jungle. Sally, will you be okay here tonight? Mouse will stay with you," said Hondo. "Yep, we'll be fine," replied Sally. "Good," said Oscar. "How do you think Gina will react tomorrow when she sees her storage building?" "Who cares," said Hondo. "We've got plenty of leverage." He looked at me and added "Just like with Sam. Plenty of leverage." Hondo lifted his shirt to reveal his handgun, sending me a not-so-subtle signal. Uh oh, I thought. This is not good. Not good at all. * * * * With Hondo's gun jammed into my ribs, he made me drive to his house. As we entered, Hondo engaged the deadbolt on the front door and armed the security system. Once we were in The Jungle, I positioned myself near the wall opposite Hondo's desk, right by the ivory plaque. The fake wall was ajar and to my right. Oscar stood there, partially blocking the opening while Hondo sat at his desk. His handgun was in plain view on the corner of the desk. This was clearly a setup to intimidate me. Little did those fuckers know, I don't scare easily. I steeled myself, ready for whatever was about to happen. Hondo put his fingertips on the envelopes and pushed them toward the edge of the desk. "These are for you," he said. "Go ahead, take a look." "Uh, why not just tell me what's going on," I said. The two of them looked at each other. "Okay, if you insist. Listen carefully. A lot, and I mean a lot is riding on this," Hondo said. He continued, wearing a serious expression. I had never seen him look so stern and commanding. "You're in deep, now. It's time to put all the cards on the table..." I interrupted him. "What? What do you mean 'I'm in deep now'? What's going on, Hondo?!" He opened the envelopes and removed a bunch of photographs. One by one, he laid them down. The first several were pictures of me in various vehicles- they were shots of me tailing Gina. Others were photos of me driving around the trap house area, and some were of me walking into Sally's club carrying packages. "We own you," said Oscar. "These show you trafficking drugs - heroin and coke - in the packages you delivered to Sally. Mouse also got some shots of you in the van, tonight, near the warehouse." So that's where Mouse was... in the shadows somewhere snapping photos of me at the crime scene. Great. Hondo added, "And that cash I gave you? Those were marked bills." Luckily, I hadn't yet spent any of the $1000 he gave me. "What the gently caress!" I yelled. "This is a joke, right?" "No joke. You're part of a criminal enterprise, don't you know?" said Oscar. I thought back to what Sambath said before I left him and Daisy in Cambodia: "Beware of the Mouse woman... trouble follows her". "Oh yeah?" I said. "I knew nothing of this poo poo. You can't pin this on me!" Oscar chimed in. "You forget who we are... who we know," he said. "Oscar! You were a loving cop! How can you be involved in this?!" I said. I knew drat well that dirty cops are all over the place, though. "And Mouse is studying to be a goddamn lawyer! If you get caught, your lives will be ruined." Oscar said, "Mouse is doing what we need - to beat the system, you gotta know the rules." "Don't forget, Sam, your life will be ruined too. So let's not get caught, eh?" said Hondo. I pounded my fist on a small table next to me. "You motherfuckers... I won't..." I had no idea what the hell I was going to do, but I wasn't going to show any fear. Hondo interjected, "You ain't gonna do poo poo, Sam." He put his hand on his gun and stroked it. "You ain't gonna do gently caress all because..." He paused for a moment and slowly removed more photos from the envelopes. They were of Sunny. Some were of her entering her apartment and others were of her at mine.  "We will burn Sunny's life to the ground. And you... your bones will be scattered from here to Oklahoma," said Hondo. Hearing her name come out of his mouth in such a way made me clench my fists, and the lizard part of my brain began to tingle. He hadn't eaten any chalk so far, so I knew he was telling the truth. He wasn't bluffing. This was serious. Hondo saw my white knuckles and could tell my rage was simmering. "Easy there, big guy," he said. "What the gently caress is all of this about?!" I asked. "What do you want from me? Why are you doing this to me?" "It's simple. We're taking over Gina and Sally's operation, though they don't know it yet. We've got plenty of dirt on them, and now we have some of the valuables. There's a lot of money to be made here, Sam. You should think of this as an opportunity. Hell, you don't have anything else going on. You could barely afford to pay your bills before you met us. What are you gonna do, keep getting punched in the head for money," said Hondo. Oscar chimed in. "Face it, Sam. This was always going to be your path. You're big and strong, but you're not very bright. You can handle yourself in tough situations, and you follow directions well. You're a henchman at heart." I'm no Stephen Hawking or Einstein, but gently caress, I'm not the idiot they seemed to think I was. All the motions they had put me through so far were tests and opportunities to frame me. All the tailing of supposed bail jumpers, the delivery of packages to Sally... everything was a ruse to get me on board, willingly or not. The bit that surprised me was realizing that Sally had screwed over her partner Gina, by being party to the theft of the crate and paintings. It was only a matter of time before Gina realized she had been double-crossed, but she wouldn't be able to do anything about it without risking prison time for herself. No one but the bounty hunters knew just how far the betrayals went. "gently caress you," I said. "gently caress you." "Look, we like you. We really do. As long as you do as you're told," said Oscar. I had had enough. I had to make a move to get out right away. I slowly inched closer to the plaque of ivory and turned around so my back was to Hondo and Oscar. I put my face in my hands and shed a few fake tears. I wanted to misdirect them for just a moment. "Aww, Sam. Buck up, sport. It ain't so ba-" Before Hondo could finish his sentence, I snatched the plaque from the wall, spun around, and lowered my shoulder as I darted past Oscar. I shoved him aside, knocking him into a small table. He scrambled to grab me, but I was already out of the office. I turned around and pushed the fake wall closed, buying a precious couple of seconds. As the wall spun on its axis, I could see Hondo start to get up from his chair and grab his handgun. I didn't know the layout of the house too well, and I knew the front door was locked, so I took the path of least resistance. I ran into the kitchen and tossed the plaque of ivory at the sliding glass door leading to a small deck. It cracked, but not enough to shatter it completely. I quickly picked up a chair from the kitchen table and threw it through the glass, breaking more of it. I picked up the ivory tushes, now dislodged from the plaque, stuffed them into my cargo pockets, and crashed through the remaining glass. I felt my arm rip open; my tricep had a three-inch-long gash in it, and I could feel a shard of glass poking out. Yanking it out, I pressed on and vaulted over the railing of the deck. I ran like a gazelle, covering what felt like ten feet with every stride. Those assholes were never going to catch me on foot. I heard "You sonofabitch come back here!" as I continued running. Glancing back, I could see the two of them standing on the deck, with Hondo waving his gun. The alarm system was blaring. Hondo's neighborhood was adjacent to a golf course, and after running through a small stand of trees I soon found myself at a fence bordering the property. It was dark, with no moon providing any light, and I didn't know exactly where I was. I couldn't head back through the neighborhood, as I was sure the guard at the gate would not let me pass. I kept running until I came to a small storage shed at the golf course's groundskeeping facility. I kicked the door open, scrambled inside, and fumbled around until I found a light switch. I turned it on just long enough to check the wound on my arm; it was bleeding badly but didn't look like the cut was very deep. I took off my shirt, ripped it apart, and tied it around my arm to staunch the bleeding. I felt a buzzing in my pocket and realized I still had the burner phone that Hondo had given me. I answered it. "Get your red rear end back here, now," said Hondo. "You're not going to get away. You're ours. Oscar is on his way to Sunny's apartment as we speak, and Mouse is heading to yours. You've got nowhere to go. Don't be stupid." I hung up. There was no point saying anything. Instead, I called Sunny. "Sunny! Where are you? I'm in a bit of trouble," I said. "Sammy??? What's wrong? What happened? I'm at your apartment, and Ray is here," she replied. "He arrived a couple of hours ago and we've been waiting for you to get home." "Okay," I said. "Listen carefully. Do not leave. Close the curtains, turn the lights off, and stay put. If anyone comes to the apartment, don't open the door, and call me immediately. Let me talk to Ray. I love ya, Sunny." Ray got on the phone. "Sam?" "Yes, it's Sam. I hate for this to be our first conversation but please... listen carefully. I'm in trouble, and so is Sunny. I know this is a lot, but you have to trust me, Brother." A plan was already forming in my head. "What do you need," he replied. "I'm here for you." isaboo fucked around with this message at 18:21 on Nov 16, 2022 |
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Nov 15, 2022 22:02
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Nov 15, 2022 22:25
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Chapter 11 Brother https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iaLjKdVUnR8 "Get out of my apartment, but stay close by. Some bad people are after me, and Sunny isn't safe either. They don't know about you though," I said to Ray. "Hmm... what's all this about," he asked. "Long story, but the short of it is, I got mixed up with some bounty hunters who have some illegal poo poo going on on the side," I said. "Well gently caress, Sam. This isn't how I imagined our reunion going. Want me to call the cops?" asked Ray. "No! No cops! Not right now, anyway. The bad guys have a lot on me, and I have nothing on them. Nothing tangible. Not yet, at least," I said. "Okay. So. You want me to just hang out around the apartment and keep an eye on Sunny. Is that it?" he asked. "Yep. I'm going to find somewhere safe to lay low tonight. Right now, I'm in a shed on a golf course. I'll find somewhere else. I'll call Sunny in the morning. By the way, do you have a cell phone, Ray?" I asked. He said he did and gave me his number, then added "Stay safe, Sam." After hanging up with Ray, I ninja walked my way off of the golf course, keeping to the few shadows I could find along the way. I eventually made it to a gas station and got cleaned up a little in the bathroom. I had a little bit of cash - in unmarked bills, thankfully- so I bought a shot of whiskey and poured half of it on my arm, and gulped down the rest. I spent the rest of the night on the playground of an elementary school close to the gas station. It had a small wooden play fort which was enough shelter to keep me out of the light rain that had begun to fall. When dawn broke, I called Sunny. She had been awake all night, worried and waiting. "Are you okay? Is Ray still there? Did anyone come by?" I asked. "No, no one has come by. At least no one has come to the door. Ray is here with me. He looks just like you!" she said. "Good. Okay. We have an advantage here. They don't know about Ray," I said. "Let me talk to him real quick." It dawned on me at that moment that the two most important people in my life at the time were Ray and Sunny. I had Light on my side; there was no way I could lose! I told Ray my plan. "Ok. I'm going to tell Sunny to just go about business as usual, and to go hang out with her friend Sophie like she does every weekend. I doubt Hondo's crew will try to outright grab her, but I'm sure one of them will be keeping tabs on her. Once she leaves, follow her and make sure she gets to her friend's place safely. Be careful that no one spots you." "Ok," replied Ray. "I get what you're thinking. Sunny told me you and I look alike - though I may be a couple of inches taller. To anyone watching, they'll think I'm you." "Yep, that's the idea," I said. "With her gone and them likely following her, I'll have a chance to get into my apartment unseen. I think once Sunny is with her friend, they'll back off for a while. Then you and I can do some look-alike fuckery." "Got it, little brother. Even with all this going on, I'm excited to meet you," said Ray. "Little brother? Are you sure? I found a partial birth certificate that I assumed was yours, but most of it was missing. I couldn't see the birth date," I said. "Yeah, I'm about 13 months older than you. That makes you the seventh son," he said. Laughing, he added, "So what do you think your special power is?" "gently caress, at this point it might be more of a curse - getting into hosed up situations," I replied. Ray said he'd come to pick me up at the gas station once Sunny was safe at her friend's apartment. I spoke to Sunny and told her what was going on. She was worried of course but knew she could count on me and Ray to keep her safe. "Call me when you get to Sophie's place," I said. "Just act normally and see if you can spot anyone following you. Ray will be close by the whole way. Tell Sophie you need to stay there for the rest of the weekend for some reason." Hondo called as soon as I hung up with Sunny. "Sam. Sam, Sam, Sam," he said. "Running from us isn't a good idea, ya know. We track people for a living. Do you really think you can evade us?" he said. "Oscar will even have the cops issue a lookout order for you." "Hondo, I give zero fucks about your threats. What you're doing is disgraceful and dishonorable. Stealing ancient artifacts? Those aren't for you to own. They're for history, for the cultures you stole them from. I'm going to burn your lives to the ground. Bank on it," I said. "You don't know what I'm capable of. You've met your match, rear end in a top hat." I disconnected, and he called back immediately. He was livid, frothing at the mouth, yelling so loudly that I could barely make out what he was saying but I knew it was more threats. I hung up again. I could only imagine how pissed he was, and it made me feel good. About an hour later, Ray pulled into the gas station where I was waiting. He rode an old classic Indian motorcycle, because of course he did. I felt even better about the plan now, because he did look a lot like me. When we saw each other for the first time, we immediately felt our connection. We hugged, shed some tears, and just took in the moment for a while. "So Sunny is safe at her friend's, right?" I asked. "Yeah, she's alright. I'm pretty sure I spotted a car following her. They had no idea I was watching them though," he replied. Ray told me the make and model of the vehicle, and yep, it was a car I'd seen Oscar use. "I waited at Sophie's for a while. The car left after about 20 minutes," said Ray. "I kept my helmet on the entire time, so I wouldn't tip our hand." "Okay, let's get to my apartment. We gotta figure this out - and catch up with each other, while we can," I said. I hopped onto the back of his bike and noticed a traditional Comanche bow strapped to the side along with a quiver of arrows. Two big rear end dudes trying to fit onto a small bike was pretty funny. "I brought that for you," he said. "I made it a couple of years ago." "Ah, you've got your bow and your trusty steel horse," I said. "Well, our people were horse people," he replied. "This is just a more modern take." Ray dropped me off a block away from my apartment and drove through the parking area looking for anyone who might be watching. After confirming the coast was clear, he picked me up and we went inside my apartment. "So, Ray. What do you do? The last 24 hours have been bonkers, I haven't had a chance to ask anything about you," I said. "Well, I guess you should know that my birth name was Tim. That's probably why it was hard for you or anyone to find me. I changed it to Ray after I learned my Comanche name," he said. "Oh yeah? What is it?" I asked. "Loosely translated, it means 'Sun's arrow' or "Arrow of the Sun' - like a sun ray," he said. "That's very punny," I replied, laughing. He continued to tell me a little about himself and what he had been doing. "I work for the US Fish And Wildlife Service," he said. "I worked in the field in Wyoming for years, but the last couple has been spent in an office in DC." My cellphone rang again and it was Oscar. "I don't think you realize the seriousness of the situation," he said. "You're gonna want to get right with us, or else." "Or else... what? I've been threatened by bigger and worse men than any of you assholes," I said. I wanted to antagonize them as much as I could; that would hopefully lead to them making a mistake. "Look, just tell me where you are," said Oscar. "Hondo needs some time to calm down, but I'll come to get you and we can all work this out." I knew then that they had no idea where I was. The misdirection with Sunny had worked; I was one step ahead of the fuckers. "gently caress off," I said before hanging up. "Ok, Sam. Tell me the whole story. What, exactly, is going on?" Ray asked. "Some bounty hunters I worked for are operating a smuggling ring with some other bad people. They roped me into doing some dirty work for them. I had no idea, and now they're blackmailing me. They've even threatened Sunny," I said. I got him caught up on all the details so far - the who, the where, and the what. Ray had an idea. "Ya know, I sometimes have to talk to federal agents for my job. Not often, but I do have a couple of acquaintances that might be able to help since ivory, art, and other countries are involved here," he said. "No promises, but I could reach out to them. I'm guessing they'd need proof to do anything, though." That sounded like a good idea. I still had the ivory, but we weren't sure that would be enough to get the attention of any federal agencies. It was worth a try though, so Ray made a couple of phone calls. I called Sunny at her friend's place to make sure she was okay, and to fill her in on the latest developments. Exhausted, I turned off my burner phone and got a few hours of sleep. Ray kept watch for anyone who might be trying to find me. I dreamt of a battle between myself and the bounty hunters, and when I woke up, I had a plan. I'm not going to claim it was a good plan, but it was a plan. "Ray, I know what I have to do. I'm gonna steal Fragile Frank," I said. "You're... gonna steal... who?" he asked, confused as hell. "Fragile Frank," I said. "It's what I'm calling the thing in the crate at Sally's. I'm gonna steal it, and I'll make sure it gets back to where it belongs. Same thing with the ivory. Same thing with the stolen urn and painting Sally has. I'm gonna get it all back." "Ah, so you're gonna Indiana Jones the fuckers, is that it?" he asked. "Well, a low-rent Indiana Jones - more like Oklahoma Sam, but yeah, I guess," I said. "How the hell are we gonna do all that?" asked Ray. "I'm still working that part out, but I have an idea. At least part of an idea," I said.
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Nov 16, 2022 18:23
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Chapter 12 I'll Get Even https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8lN1H4JnS5s Later that day, Ray and I devised a way to get Sunny and me back together. I didn't want her safety to hinge on staying at her friend's apartment. We hadn't seen hide nor hair of the bounty hunters around my apartment, so we took the risk of assuming they were looking for me elsewhere. I tossed Ray the keys to my car, and he gave me the keys to his motorcycle. I headed to a motel, while Ray drove first to Sunny's apartment, then to Sophie's. The idea was to get Hondo's crew to follow Ray, drawing them away from Sunny once again. I'd pick her up on the bike and take her to the motel room. Hopefully, he'd be able to lose anyone in pursuit. About an hour after we both left, Ray called me. "Yo, Sam. I'm not at Sophie's apartment - I had to lose those fuckers by driving around for a while. Oscar was waiting in his car at Sunny's apartment and started following me as soon as I pulled out of the parking lot," he said. "gently caress. Okay, are they still following you," I asked. "I don't think so - unless someone else is in a different car somewhere. But, I haven't spotted anyone," he replied. "Okay. I think I'm going to drive by Hondo's house and their office. If they're at either place, I'll make a quick run to Sophie's and pick Sunny up," I said. "Sounds good," replied Ray. "What do you want me to do in the meantime?" "I guess, hm, try getting in touch with your federal contacts. Tell them what I've told you - about the ivory and art - and also tell them I'm willing to sit down and discuss my part in it all, and what I know," I said. "Got it. I'll get in touch with you later. Be safe," said Ray. I headed over to the bounty hunters' office and saw that Oscar and Mouse were both there. That left Hondo's whereabouts unknown, so I drove by his house to check it out. I got lucky - Hondo was there, having the glass door replaced. That meant the coast was clear for now, and I could safely pick up Sunny. I decided that on my way to get her, I'd drive past Gina's warehouse and see what was going on there. Surely she had discovered her missing items. Sure enough, Gina was there, and so was Sally. I parked at the diner next to the warehouse and watched for a while. Gina was yelling at Sally, and Sally was being aggressive right back to her. Gina waved her arms around wildly, snarling and poking Sally in her chest. I was surprised to see the little old grandma-looking lady getting in Sally The Hutt's face. The dominos of their partnership had begun to fall, it seemed. It wouldn't be too long until they figured out who was behind it all if they hadn't already. That made me happy; when criminals start turning on each other, it makes the good guys' jobs much easier. I raced over to Sophie's apartment and took Sunny to the motel room. I apologized profusely for getting her involved, but she said I had nothing to be sorry for. "This isn't your fault, Sammy. I know you're a good man. I'm with you. For the long haul. Those assholes pulled you into their world. We'll get you out of it, and we'll make them pay. We're a good team. Don't worry, we'll be fine. We have Ray, and I'm sure you two can figure a way out of this mess," she said. I hugged her and promised I'd keep her safe, and thanked her for sticking with me. A few minutes later, Ray arrived. "I think we're good," he said. "I haven't seen anyone tailing me." "Yeah, they were all accounted for," I said. "We have a little bit of breathing room to plan our next move." "And... what exactly is the plan," asked Sunny. I turned to Ray and asked him if he had gotten in touch with his federal agent friends. "I did. They were intrigued and interested but needed a little more to go on. They asked if you'd be willing to meet with them, and I said yes. So, we'll need to set something up soon," he said. "The problem is... their resources are very limited. They're not sure what they can do if we don't have anything strong to present to them." "Alright, I'll have to think on that. I have the ivory, but I'm not sure that's enough to bring the full weight of the feds to bear on Hondo and his assholes," I said. Sunny chimed in. "Without them, what are we gonna do? We don't have many people that could help us." She was right. Other than Sunny and Ray, everyone around me - Hondo's crew, Sally, and Gina - was a criminal. I didn't have many people I could trust, and certainly no one who could help me take down a smuggling ring. Oh, wait a second. Yes, I do. With a huge grin and a sparkle in my eye, I turned to Sunny and said "I know just the people for this. Trust me."
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Nov 16, 2022 19:31
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Man I have this bookmarked, I just don't have enough free time to read it yet and it makes me REALLY UPSET.
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Nov 18, 2022 06:31
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Can I get the loving audible of this because I seriously can't follow the story line Maybe the SparkNotes?
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Nov 18, 2022 06:51
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I remember a great thread about 15 years ago about a girl that was a bailbondsperson. She looked 100 lbs soaking wet, shaved pink hair, a name something like unicorn riot or something. Pretty badass IIRC.
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Nov 18, 2022 12:59
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mom and dad fight a lot posted:Man I have this bookmarked, I just don't have enough free time to read it yet and it makes me REALLY UPSET. You have time to catch up! We're at the halfway point and I'm battling the flu so I won't be posting until after the weekend. WAR CRIME GIGOLO posted:Can I get the loving audible of this because I seriously can't follow the story line * met a woman named Mouse and an elephant named Daisy in Cambodia * went to work for Mouse's husband's bail bonds service * found out I have a brother I didn't know about while learning about my Comanche heritage * got blackmailed into helping the bounty hunters steal art and things that's where we're at now
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Nov 18, 2022 18:26
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 this story should be adapted into a fun and wholesome movie!
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Nov 19, 2022 22:27
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Chapter 13 Friends https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5r0i2ZAbCc "Sam! Yo! What's up, Chief?" The gruff but friendly voice on the other end of the phone call sounded happy to hear from me. "T-Man! How the heck are ya, brother," I asked. "Oh, doing pretty well. I haven't heard from ya in, what... a year or so," said T-Man. "Yeah, it's been too long! We need to catch up," I said. Ray and Sunny sat on the bed, and as I talked to T-Man I heard Sunny try to explain who I was talking to. When she said the name Battle Cat, Ray laughed and said "What, or who, the hell is Battle Cat?!" After shooting the poo poo with T-Man for a minute, I got down to business. "So, T-Man. I need your help. I need the whole gang's help, in fact," I said. Without hesitation, he replied, "You've got it. Tell me when and where and what. We've got your back. Now and always." "Well, I appreciate that, but you might want to hear the whole story first. This time, it's a bit different. It ain't just punching Nazis or donkey stealin'. I got mixed up with some bad people," I said. I told him what had happened so far, and how Hondo had threatened Sunny and me. That did not sit well with T-Man. "Those motherfuckers. That poo poo ain't cool. Stealin' and thievin' and fuckin' about with you and your girl? Hellllll naw. Nope. The boys are not going to like this," he said. I talked with T-Man a little more and told him that we needed to act quickly. I didn't know what Hondo's next move would be, either against me or with the stuff he stole. I wanted to get the plan, whatever it was going to be, started as soon as possible. "Give me 24 hours. I'll round up the brothers and drag them kicking and screaming if I have to, but you know I won't need to do that," he said. "Okay, sounds good. I'm excited to see everyone, and I can't wait for you guys to meet Ray and Sunny. I've told her a little about Battle Cat, but anything I say doesn't do the reality justice. She's gonna love y'all," I said. We made plans for T-Man and his two brothers, Johnny Dangerous and Poodle, to meet us at the motel room the following afternoon. I had a lot to do beforehand, so I tasked Ray with getting some items I'd need to orchestrate the scheme I had in mind. He looked over the list I gave him and his eyes widened. "Uh, hmmm. Okay. I... don't really see where this is going, but... hrm... I'll trust whatever you have going on in that head of yours," he said. "Famous last words," I said, laughing. Sunny reassured him. "Don't worry, Ray. My Sammy is good at this sort of thing. Especially when he has his pals with him. This is gonna be good." * * * * The next afternoon, Ray went shopping and procured everything I had asked for including a big pad of paper and some color markers. As I was sorting through everything, someone knocked on the door. Ray peered out of the window and said "This must be them." I opened the door and was immediately jumped on and hugged by none other than Johnny Dangerous. "Sam! Fuckin' A, it's so good to see you!" Poodle followed behind him, grinning from ear to ear. It seemed he was ready for whatever he was being called to do. "Hell yeah, Sam. Battle Cat is back for the attack. Who we gonna gently caress up this time," he asked. T-Man entered and said "Easy, guys. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. This is serious stuff. But hell yes, it is good to have the crew back together." I formally introduced everyone and told Ray the history of Battle Cat and the craziness we had been through years before. Sunny had heard some of the stories before but was ecstatic to finally meet the men behind the legend. The guys had changed a little since our last adventure - rescuing Hector the donkey. T-Man was still stocky and strong as an ox, and worked on their family farm growing soybeans and sorghum. Johnny Dangerous had bulked up; his transformation from a skinny and timid 20-year-old to an athletic and confident man was a good look for him. JD also worked on the farm. Poodle was the same skinny rock-god wannabe as before, but now sported a mohawk. He was part of a pretty good band and played all over the Southeast US. Poodle almost immediately started making eyes at Sunny, and although I knew he was doing it to get a rise out of me, I played along and acted as if it bothered me. Sunny was game to go along with his friendly and good-natured flirting. It was a great reunion of old friends and new family. Seeing that we were all talking too much and not getting anything done, I said I needed some time alone to get my thoughts and the plan in order. Ray got a separate room and so did the three brothers, then they all went out for some food and to get to know each other. Sunny stayed with me and helped me lay out The Plan. The next afternoon, I assembled Battle Cat and Ray and went over everything. With them seated on the motel room bed and the floor in rapt attention, I began my presentation. I propped up the 30"x25" pad of paper on the desk. On the first page, written in bright red marker was the name of the plan: Operation Roll The Bones "Uhhh... what the hell? Like, rolling the dice - taking a chance?" asked Poodle. "Be patient," I said. "It will all make sense shortly. Okay, maybe it won't make total sense, but..." I flipped the first page up to show the second. It was poorly drawn representations of the principal people involved, labeled "The Bad Guys." Pointing to Hondo, Mouse, and Oscar, I said "So here are the fuckers that roped me into all of this." Below each of their likenesses I wrote a few lines about who they were, and the roles they had played so far in their criminal activity. "They should be considered armed and dangerous - especially Hondo. He's always armed, and is a good fighter from what I know," I said. "And these two ladies", I said as I pointed to the terrible drawings of Sally and Gina, "are the ones who facilitate the smuggling. Gina has the connections, and Sally has the money." On the next page, I drew a picture of the stolen art that Sally bought - a watercolor of a crane - and the urn which supposedly contained the artist's remains. "Sam, your art is horrible," JD said. "I don't disagree," I said, then moved on to the next picture which was of the stolen ivory. "And finally, gentlemen, we come to Fragile Frank. The big boy. This is gonna blow your mind," I said. "We're going to steal this fuckin' thing and give it back to the land and people it belongs to. This is important to me. It doesn't belong in the home of a criminal. This is history these assholes have taken, and we're gonna steal it back." Everyone leaned forward, eager to see what was on the next page. Sunny tried to hold back her laughter, as she had already seen what was coming and could barely wait to see their reactions. I made a poor drum roll sound and revealed Fragile Frank. It took them all a few moments to register what they saw. Ray was the first to get it. "A loving dinosaur? We're stealing a dinosaur?" he asked, incredulous. The figure was a very poorly drawn brontosaurus. "Well, actually, it isn't a brontosaurus," I said. "It's a pinacosaurus, a type of armored dinosaur, according to the papers in the crate. But I couldn't fuckin' draw it!"  Sunny laughed and pulled out a bunch of wadded-up paper from the trashcan. "He isn't lying, look at these terrible attempts," she said. "Okay... but, I still... what?" said Poodle. T-Man spoke up. "I get it. Fossils. We're stealing dinosaur fossils. Right, Sam?" "Yep, we're gonna steal them bones," I said. "But... Fragile Frank? Where does that come from?" asked T-Man. "The crate the fossils were in had passed through Frankfurt, Germany at some point," I replied. "I just thought it was a catchy name." "And where is all this stuff? Where are we gonna steal it from?" asked Poodle. I turned to the next page. "As far as I know, and we'll need to confirm this somehow, it's all at The Lair - Sally's BDSM club." Showing them the approximate layout of Sally's club, I told them my idea for getting into Sally's office to make sure the crate was still there. The rest of the plan was essentially smash and grab and run like the fuckin wind. "Ok, so... we're going to steal it... and then what?" asked T-Man. "That's where Ray's federal agent friends come in. I figure once we have everything in hand, we'll have some leverage to force Hondo to play by our rules for a short time. I doubt we can hold out for very long, but by then the feds will be involved. Hopefully. If not, well, we'll just have to improvise. We're used to doing that," I said. "So when is this going down?" asked Poodle. "Today is Sunday, so I think we'll get started tomorrow with the trip to Sally's office - that'll be T-Man and Poodle - then I want to steal it all at around 4 am Thursday," I said. "I gotta say, this is some bold poo poo, Sam," said JD. "I fuckin' love it." T-Man turned to Sunny. "Are you okay with all this?" "If it means getting my Sammy away from those creeps, and righting a wrong, then hell yes," she said. "Sunny won't be directly involved, of course," I said. "I won't let anything happen to her." Poodle spoke up. "You know what I love about you Sam, about all of us? It's that the four of us are basically the Mount Rushmore of bad decisions. But we always pull through. We always do what's right, even when it's the wrong way. But it's always the fun way. Even when it's like a blowjob from a rattlesnake, it's fun." "Alright, guys. You've heard the man, Battle Cat is officially back online. When this goes down, the devil will learn our names," T-Man said. "I'm pretty sure we're already at the top of his ledger," Johnny Dangerous joked. isaboo fucked around with this message at 18:58 on Nov 22, 2022 |
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Nov 22, 2022 18:44
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Rattlesnake could not be reached for comment.
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Nov 22, 2022 20:34
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There is a lot here to consume. Thankfully my Googgle assistant will read it it back to me.
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Nov 23, 2022 12:59
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my scroll-down finger is tired
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Nov 23, 2022 13:01
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Zeluth posted:There is a lot here to consume. Thankfully my Googgle assistant will read it it back to me. I have to wonder what kind of ads google is going to serve you now Buce posted:my scroll-down finger is tired You... you're actually reading this nutty poo poo? That's on you, friend
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Nov 23, 2022 18:28
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Chapter 14 Infiltrate The System https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIaCTPBOFC4 My plan for getting into Sally's office was, like most of my other ideas, not at all well thought out. But hell, that's how Battle Call rolled, and everything usually went to poo poo on first contact anyway. T-Man and Poodle were the guys tasked with going to The Lair, so on Monday morning, they went shopping for supplies. They visited a couple of thrift stores, but couldn't find anything that fit the BDSM look. Atlanta has always had a fair share of strip clubs and sex clubs, and enough small fetish shops to satisfy the needs of those patrons. A few hours later they returned, costumes in hand, but refused to let us see what they bought. They had way too much fun picking their stuff out and wanted to surprise us later. I went over the details of our scheme once more before turning Poodle and T-Man loose for the night. Because Sunny and I couldn't be seen at The Lair, or anywhere else for that matter, Ray and JD would serve as backup near the club. The two of us would have to wait at the motel, and just hope the guys could pull it off without our supervision. Having been through the gauntlet a couple of times before with Battle Cat, I was confident they would succeed- somehow. As far as I knew, Sally was always in her office on Mondays, catching up on the club's finances. For the rest of the week until Friday night, she was generally not around the club. I felt it would be better to attempt our infiltration and reconnaissance on a night she was there. With her present, it meant that the chance of getting into her office was greater- with the right distraction. Monday morning, Ray came over to my motel room to give me some good news. He had spoken to one of his federal agent contacts. "So, I spoke with Dean, one of the feds I occasionally interact with. He works with the Customs group that investigates art and cultural theft. He was very interested in what I told him, and asked if you could sit down for an interview in the Atlanta office," said Ray. "Sure, I'd be happy to," I replied. "Maybe we won't have to steal anything, after all. It'd be much better for the feds to bring the hammer down on these assholes. But, I want to make sure that the stuff Hondo stole gets returned soon. I don't want it sitting in a government warehouse forever. That said, I want to gently caress over Hondo myself. He deserves it. Anyway, I still want to get into Sally's office and make sure the stuff is still there." "Agreed," said T-Man. "I don't know Hondo or his cronies but I sure as gently caress don't like what they've been doing, especially to you." "Alright, then," I said. "I'll call Dean and set something up for this week. But we're going ahead with tonight's plan, okay?" "Hell yeah," said Poodle. "A little breaking and entering never hurt anyone." Later Monday afternoon, I called Dean and spoke with him at length about everything I had witnessed so far. He asked what kind of evidence I had, and I told him I had the ivory. We coordinated a meeting for Tuesday afternoon, and he told me to bring the ivory with me. I didn't tell him about our plans to break into Sally's office or to steal the dinosaur fossils, urn, and painting. With the feds interested, I felt better about the days ahead. * * * * The plan was to head to Sally's club at around midnight. It usually stayed open until 2 AM, and even on a Monday night, there were enough people usually present to make it easy to stay intermingled with the crowd. A couple of hours before we were to begin, T-Man and Poodle knocked on my motel room door. I could hear them giving each other poo poo. "Goddammit, Poodle. You look fuckin' ridiculous," T-Man said. "Hey now! Take a look in the freakin' mirror, why don't ya," replied Poodle. Ray, Sunny, JD, and I braced ourselves for whatever terrible costumes were about to assault our eyes, and I opened the door. "Hahahahahahahaha! Jeeeeeeesus, y'all look ridiculous," JD said. Poodle punched him in the gut for laughing. "Those... are definitely... something..." I said. "Honestly, y'all look great. Well done." T-Man was shirtless, his muscular chest framed by an X-shaped leather harness, with metal rings and clasps affixed to it. He also sported a dog collar and a leather skirt styled after a Roman gladiator. He couldn't find appropriate footwear, so he wore his regular tennis shoes. He asked Sunny to write something on his stomach in red magic marker: CHOKE ME We all stood there, mouths wide open. Never in a million years would I have guessed that T-Man would be caught dead in a getup like that, but he was laughing and having a good time showing off to us. I wondered if we had awakened something latent in him. "Goddamn, I wish I had a camera," said JD. Sunny reached into her purse and pulled one out. "I got you covered," she said, and snapped a few pictures. "Just wait until your girlfriend sees these." T-Man fired back. "What makes you think we haven't explored this world before," he said. We then turned our attention to Poodle, who had a slightly different take on his costume. He wore a white fishnet halter top, and around his neck was a collar with long, slim, colorful feathers which flowed over his shoulders and back. His pants were simply cut-off jean shorts, with SLUT embroidered on the back. Reaching into his bag, he pulled out a couple more items. One was a wig - short blonde hair with a faint red stripe in it - and the other was a long leather apron, with a zipper from the bottom hem up to the crotch. "I'm gonna wear these, too. But I'm gonna take them off when I get into Sally's office. If someone sees me slip in or out, hopefully, the quick costume change will confuse them," said Poodle. "You guys are totally gonna keep these outfits once we're done, aren't ya," asked Ray. "Totally," said T-Man. "100 percent," replied Poodle.   We went over the plan once again to make sure everyone understood their roles. Ray and JD would be hanging out nearby The Lair, ready to make a quick getaway with T-Man and Poodle. If it was possible, and it was a big if, Poodle would try to take the Chinese painting and urn from Sally's office if they were there. I told him not to worry about it if the coast wasn't completely clear. "Alright, guys. It's time. Let's head out," I said. Sunny and I hugged everyone and we wished them good luck, and they piled into T-Man's truck and headed to The Lair. * * * * * * Poodle and T-Man entered the club separately and several minutes apart, to minimize any suspicion that they were together. Their first task was to just get a feel for the crowd and security that was present. If it seemed like a bad idea, they were to abort. That was a useless directive though because everything Battle Cat had done together to this point was A Bad Idea. I just knew that they'd go through with the plan, regardless of any complications. One thing Battle Cat was not, was a Scaredy Cat. Once they were both inside they mingled among the crowd and had a couple of drinks. Right around 1 AM, T-Man set his part of the plan into motion. Sally was not only a former therapist but was also a former registered nurse. I knew she had a small first aid kit located behind the bar - but she also had a bigger, more complete one in her office. She had to, what with all the drugs and craziness going on in the club. The last thing she wanted was to have someone overdose or have a heart attack and die on her property. So that's what we decided we'd take advantage of. T-Man danced - he was a terrible dancer - while Poodle kept an eye on him from the bar area. After a few minutes, T-Man began slowing down and acted wobbly and disoriented. A few people took note but didn't bother to check if he was okay. A few moments later, he clenched his chest and acted as if he was short of breath. He was already sweating from dancing in the warm club, so to any onlookers, it looked like he was in some real distress. A couple of patrons went to check on him, and after mumbling a few words, he collapsed to the floor. Those people attending to him shrieked and yelled for help, and Poodle got the bartender's attention and told him someone needed help. The bartender cut the music and turned on a few of the lights, and rushed to Sally's office door. Sally came out, took stock of what was going on, then went back into her office to get her medical kit. So far, the plan was going just as we had hoped. With Sally's attention on T-Man, Poodle quickly slipped through the open door and headed straight to her desk. There, he saw the painting and the urn, and sure enough - the large crate containing Fragile Frank was still there on the floor. He opened it and could tell that a few pieces had been removed. Looking around, he found another container and opened it. Inside were the pieces that were missing from the original crate; they were being moved into the new box. It seemed as if we timed it all right - another day or so and Fragile Frank might have been moved to Hondo's place or wherever it was bound to end up. Poodle made the call to forget about the urn but decided he could snatch the painting. He took off his leather apron and wrapped the painting in it, and tossed his wig into a trash can under Sally's desk. With the crowd and Sally still focused on T-Man, who was then sitting up and acting as if he was better, Poodle snuck his way out of the office, past the bar area, and finally made it outside. He ran to Ray and JD in T-Man's truck in the parking lot and joined them, watching the commotion from outside. A few minutes later, an ambulance arrived. At that point, a lot of the patrons had moved outside and were likely talking about the man who almost died inside. T-Man walked out of the club, still acting wobbly but making it clear that he was okay. He refused a ride to the hospital, and after several minutes of repeating "I'm okay, I promise" to Sally, she reluctantly left him alone and went back inside. T-Man told the paramedics he'd take a cab back to his place, and assured them that he was feeling better. T-Man gave a sly thumbs-up to his brothers and Ray, and they took that as their cue to return to the motel. "gently caress YES, I got it! Operation successful," exclaimed Poodle. He took the painting from his apron and laid it on the bed. "It really is beautiful," Sunny said. "I can see why anyone would want it, but stealing it just isn't right." T-Man arrived and joined us in the room. "So how did we do?" he asked. "You guys did great," I said. "From what Poodle said, it all went off without a hitch. Well done, guys. Poodle, do you think Sally will notice the painting is missing?" "I doubt it," he said. "It was on a small table in the corner, not hanging on the wall or anywhere else in direct view. I had to look for a bit. I don't think she'll take inventory of her office tonight. I think we're free and clear for a short time." "Awesome," I said. "So, we know the fossils are there, but it seems like we might not have much time before they're moved. I just hope Dean and his guys can get the ball rolling quickly. I have a meeting with him tomorrow afternoon, and I'll take the ivory and the painting with me. I hope it's enough to get the attention this deserves." We all had a few beers and some weed to celebrate and took turns wearing Poodle and T-Man's costumes. When I put on T-Man's, Sunny had the distinct glimmer of excitement in her eyes. The brothers and Ray returned to their room to crash. Sunny had to go to work in the morning, and it was almost 3 AM at that point, so we went to bed as well. The next day would bring events no one - and I mean no one - could have predicted. isaboo fucked around with this message at 19:48 on Nov 23, 2022 |
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Nov 23, 2022 18:30
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Same tbh
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Nov 23, 2022 23:27
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Chapter 15 Impetus https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3z1XxDE0iRw My motel room phone rang at a little before 9am, and I groggily picked it up and answered. It was Sunny, calling from her job. "Sammy! We're being attacked by Paris," she exclaimed. "Huh? What?" I replied. "Paris attacked New York City," she repeated. "What do you mean, Paris is attacking us?" I asked. "Not Paris... TERRORISTS! Dammit Sammy, just turn on the TV," she said. I was so tired and still in that fugue state between sleep and wakefulness, that it took me a while to understand what she was saying. At about that time, T-Man and his two brothers started banging on the door. I opened it and they rushed in, with Ray behind them. "Dude, Sam, turn on the TV. This poo poo is wild. Terrorists crashed planes into the Twin Towers in New York," T-Man said. We tuned in just after the second plane hit the South Tower. To say the images shocked us, or anyone else watching, is an understatement. T-Man, an Army veteran who served in the Gulf War, was beside himself. Later, when we learned that another aircraft had targeted The Pentagon, T-Man broke down and was simultaneously crying and in a fit of rage. He tried to call his friends who worked at The Pentagon, but could get no response. Sunny left her office early and joined us at the motel. Like everyone else that terrible day, we were glued to the TV, watching the horror unfold. We were mostly silent after our initial shock, until Johnny Dangerous said something that would turn out to be true- "Watch Bush start a loving war." T-Man went to his room to be alone and to make some more phone calls. Ray called a few of his friends, including Dean, the agent I was supposed to meet with that afternoon. Understandably, Dean said that the meeting was off and that it was all-hands-on-deck as far as the federal government was concerned. Federal office drones were to drop anything they were doing and assist in whatever way was needed. Early that afternoon, T-Man returned to the rest of us and was chomping at the bit to do something, anything, to take his mind off of the tragic events in NYC. "We should steal Fragile Frank tonight," he said. I hadn't mentioned anything about the plan since news of the attack - for one I was too shocked, and also I just assumed everyone would want to wait to see what happens. I was wrong, and everyone agreed that we should move forward. "This will probably make it easier, anyway," said T-Man. "What do ya mean?" asked Poodle. "Think about it," T-Man replied. "I imagine most everyone will be home watching this. Law enforcement will be on high alert at vulnerable locations everywhere. The Lair is not a target for anyone other than us. I just think we should take this opportunity to get it done." He hesitated for a moment then added "I also want to gently caress some poo poo up." "Agreed," said JD. "Let's do this. They won't know what him 'em." "Y'all are right. We may as well go ahead with the plan. Hondo and Mouse are Army vets, so I'm sure they'll be preoccupied with what's going on, too. Same with Oscar, I'm sure he'll be wanting to assist his cop friends," I said. Sunny added "And this won't be over tomorrow. Grabbing Frank tonight will give us some extra time with him to figure out what to do next." I looked at Ray for his approval and he nodded. "I'm in," he said. "There's no time like the present." "Alright. it's settled. We roll tonight," I said. Flipping through the big pad of paper I used to outline the plan, I stopped at the page which had a terribly drawn blueprint of The Lair. I grabbed a marker and drew a a big X at the exterior wall of Sally's office. "This is where we'll enter," I said. "Sally's office has two windows - they are boarded up and have steel anti-burglar bars on them." Pumping his fist, JD said "Ain't no bars on earth what can keep Battle Cat out!" "Let's just hope we don't end up behind bars ourselves," said Poodle. I continued with my idea. "Okay, so I'm thinking we can cut through the bars with a saw like the one Hondo used at Gina's, and if we have trouble with that we can just yank the fuckin' things off with a chain and T-Man's truck. The building is old and I don't think the old brick and bars will offer much resistance. Poodle, you're the skinniest, and you've been in the office before, so you'll be the one to crawl through the window once we smash out the boards." "What about the alarm system?" asked Poodle. "Yeah, this is where it gets tricky. We'll have to rely on some good old Battle Cat luck. I know the first three numbers - I've watched Sally key them in - but I could never see the fourth. I think it's on the right side of the keypad, so either a 3, 6, or 9. I think. I dunno. I'm pretty sure you get three chances to enter the right code before it locks you out and alerts the monitoring service. Make your best guess, Poodle. If you can't disarm it, we're going to have to make a hasty getaway." "Okay, then what?" asked T-Man. I told them Poodle will open the back door once he's inside Sally's office, and the rest of us - Ray, T-Man, and JD - will grab the crate and put it in the truck. "Alright, a quick grab it is then," said T-Man. "Where are we gonna stash the crate? We probably shouldn't keep here at the motel." "I've got a small climate controlled storage unit," I said. "It's about 5 minutes from my apartment, and there's plenty of room in it." Sunny asked "What do you think is gonna happen once Sally realizes it's gone?" "Well I expect a lot of angry phone calls, and I'm sure Hondo's crew will be prowling the streets looking for me," I said. "What time are we gonna do this?" asked JD, chomping at the bit to get into the action. "Four AM. The club has last call at 2, and everyone should be gone by 3 or 3:30," I said. "We'll head over there at 2:30 and watch to make sure no on is inside when we start. Everyone ok with what we're doing?" No one objected and they were all excited to be doing something so dumb, ill advised, and dangerous - The Battle Cat way. * * * * T-Man parked the truck a block away from The Lair. Poodle and I were in the back, double-checking we had the tools we needed - a metal saw, heavy chains, and a hammer. It was about 2:45AM, and the last patron had just left. Only the manager and a couple of floor staff remained. About an hour later, they all left and we were fairly certain the club was empty. We drove the truck to the back of the building and backed it up close to the wall. Poodle hopped out and plugged in the electric saw to an outdoor outlet. T-Man, Ray, and JD each up a position at each corner of the building to keep watch for anyone that might pass by. I switched on the saw and started cutting through the bars. It was much louder than I expected, and the saw was not getting the job done quickly enough. After about 10 minutes I had only cut about 75% of the way through two of the bars. I whispered to Poodle to tell the guys we'd have to move to Plan B and rip the loving things off with the chains. T-Man's truck was a beast of a vehicle with a powerful winch on the front. Usually used for pulling heavy equipment on his farm, we were sure it could yank off the already weakened steel bars. He turned the truck around, threaded the chains through the bars, attached them to the winch, and engaged it. Within a matter of seconds, the bars began to wiggle. Bits of old brick began falling away, and after a short while longer the bars came loose and dangled from the bottom of the window. I grabbed the hammer and smashed through the wood, clearing the way for Poodle to enter. Poddle whispered "I'm a fuckin' ninja..." as I helped him through the window. I didn't know what kind of ninja would need a boost to infiltrate a building, but this was Poodle.  He fell into the office and we could hear crashing and clanging. "Goddammit, Poodle! Be quiet!" "It's fuckin' dark in here, man!" he said. We could hear the chime of the alarm system. "You've got about 60 seconds to enter the code, so get moving," I said. He made his away across the office, bumping into everything along the way. I tossed him the flashlight that he forgot to take with him, and he finally made it to the alarm's keypad. Beep boop beep ... beep. He entered the first 3 digits that I knew were correct, and hesitated before guessing the fourth. The alarm continued to beep. He tried the next combination and it worked. I was honestly surprised. I heard him say "gently caress yes!" and saw the flashlight beam moving across the room toward the heavy back door. A few moments later the door opened and Poodle emerged, grinning and happy he got the job done. While Poodle disconnected the chains and winch from the dangling security bars, the rest of us went in and checked the crate. Most of the fossils were still inside, with only a few moved to another container. T-Man and Ray put those pieces back into the crate while Johnny Dangerous and I searched the room for the urn. He found it on Sally's desk, and being the clumsy one of the group, almost dropped it. I gave him a wide-eyed stare and told him to be careful, then joined Ray and T-Man at the crate. We carried it to the truck, put in the back under a tarp and drove away. We took it and the urn to my storage unit, then went back to the motel. Sunny was waiting for us, eager to hear how badly it went. Much to her surprise, I told her we didn't have any problems at all. Score one for Battle Cat! Now all we had to do was lay low and hide from Hondo, and try to get a meeting with Dean and the feds. I thought the hard part was over. I thought wrong. isaboo fucked around with this message at 21:33 on Nov 27, 2022 |
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Nov 27, 2022 18:00
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This is really good op.
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Nov 27, 2022 21:29
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Chapter 16 Life's a gas https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyYqyCV8aWY With Sunny at work and the rest of the guys in their rooms getting some rest, I laid awake wondering when Hondo would call me on the burner phone. Around noon, the phone rang. I didn't answer the first time - I knew that making him stew for a bit would get him riled up even more, and the thought of that made me giggle. He called back a short time later, and I answered. "Sam. What the gently caress have you done?" he asked, his tone full of anger. "I've taken back that which isn't yours," I said. "Did you think I was really going to just sit idly by while you try to ruin me? gently caress you." "You've started something you can't hope to win," he replied. "I don't think you know how dangerous I can be." "And you don't know my resolve," I said. "So anyway, I've got the goods. What're you gonna do about it, chump?" He was silent for a few moments then said "I'll give you 72 hours to make things right. Bring me the items, and we'll go our seperate ways." I knew he was full of poo poo. He wasn't going to just let me walk away if I gave everything back. I felt sure he'd follow through on his threat to black-bag me and scatter my bones. So in my infinite wisdom, I decided to antagonize him even more. "I'll give it all back, in exchange for one hundred thousand dollars." I was bluffing - I didn't give a drat about money. "The gently caress?" he yelled back. "You're out of your mind, Sam." I countered with "Then you don't get anything, and I take it all to the police," then hung up on him. He called back immediately. "Sally and Gina think you're the one that stole it to begin with. There are so many people looking for you, you'll never get away," he said. "Don't forget, I have all the evidence I need to nail you. You have until Saturday at midnight. Otherwise, there's a bullet with your name on it." I woke the guys up and told them what Hondo had said. Sunny got off of work early, and I told her to call in sick for the rest of the week until we got things going with Dean and the feds. Hondo would surely have people trying to find the two of us. His crew still didn't know about the allies I had. One of them would soon come to face to face with an angry Battle Cat. * * * * "I really need some more clothes and stuff from my apartment," I said. "But I'm certain someone is watching the place at this point." I had been wearing the same change of clothes for a few days and I was feeling gross because of it, and I needed my prescription drug. Poodle spoke up. "They still have no idea about us, right? I can go check out your apartment." "Alright," I said. "But be safe, Poodle. The last thing we need is you getting caught." "Don't worry, Sam. I've got this." I gave Poodle my keys and the burner phone in case he needed to call us. He drove T-Man's truck to my apartment while the rest of us laid low. T-Man wasn't so sure about turning Poodle loose on his own, but Poodle was adamant about doing something else for the cause. About an hour later he returned to my motel room with a trash bag full of items from my apartment. He was excited about something, and said "I need a goddamn beer." We were all there together, eager to hear what had him worked up. I tossed him a beer from our cooler as he began to tell us what happened- "So I went to your apartment, and the door was ajar. There were marks all around the doorknob where someone forced it open. I didn't hear anyone inside or see anyone around, so I went in. The place was loving trashed. I mean... everything was turned upside down, all of the cupboards and drawers were open, stuff was thrown all over the place. Your TV is smashed, the sofa seats are torn apart and so is your mattress. Anyways, I grabbed the few things you need and left. As I pulled out of the parking lot, I noticed a car leave behind me- it was a sweet looking Dodge Charger. At first I didn't think anything about it, until I caught a glimpse of the driver. It looked like that red-headed guy - Oscar. I turned onto a side road to lose him, and was surprised to see him keep going straight. I thought maybe I was just being paranoid. With him no longer behind me, I pulled in to a gas station. The truck was running low, and I was going to call y'all to tell you I was heading back. I guess Oscar circled around on me somehow, because about a minute later he pulled in to the gas station and stopped at a pump near mine. I went inside the station, bought a drink and some snacks and paid for the gas in cash. While I was in there, I could see him poking around the truck. He went to the passenger side, opened the door and I think he looked in the glove compartment. When he saw me coming he began walking in my direction, and as we passed each other he bumped my shoulder and said "Sorry, bro." Sam, I know you said he's not a cop anymore, but he did have a badge clipped to his belt. He also had a collapsible baton in a holster. I went to the truck and began filling up. He was in the store, talking to the attendant- probably asking if he knew me or something, I dunno. The passenger window of his car was down, so I decided I'd have a little look-see. I was leaning into his car when I heard him run up behind me. He yelled "Hey man, what the gently caress are you doing?" The old fucker moves quickly because before I could get away he grabbed my pants and pulled me backward. I fell to the ground, slumped against the car door, and he shoved his foot into my chest, pinning me there. He took the baton out of the holster and violently shook it, extending the metal rod. "You wouldn't happen to know a guy named Sam, would ya?" he asked. I told him no, that I didn't know anyone by that name, and he said "Then why the gently caress were you just at his apartment? Who the gently caress are you? Where the gently caress is Sam?" He poked me in the chest with the baton and asked me once again where Sam is hiding. I told him I didn't loving know and that I was just visiting, and didn't know Sam wasn't at home. He looked like he was about to smash me with the baton, so I grabbed his ankle and twisted it enough to get his foot off of me. I scrambled to the side and ran to the truck. He was right on my heels but I was able to dash around the pumps, keeping them between us. I grabbed the fuel nozzle, doused him with gas, and pulled my Zippo lighter from my pocket. That surprised the rear end in a top hat enough that he dropped his weapon and backed up. I said, "I feel like sparking up a joint. Wanna join me for a toke?" I flipped the lighter's lid open and closed over and over, and he backed off some more. About that time the gas station attendant saw what was happening and came outside. I jumped in the truck and as I drove away I yelled "Battle Cat, motherfucker!" He didn't follow me. I drove around a while to be sure before coming here.  "That was pretty bold of you, Poodle. I'm not sure I would've done any of that, like poking around in his car," Johnny Dangerous said. "On the other hand, it might be a good thing. If you hadn't tangled with him he might have just followed you here. And then we'd all be hosed." T-Man was happy his brother was okay, but was concerned that the cops would now be on the lookout for his truck. That was a valid concern, but I hadn't planned on going anywhere until we heard from the feds. Ray called Dean and asked how everything was going. Dean said tensions were still high, understandably, but that he might be able to get some movement on our case within a few days. Ray told him that Hondo had given us an ultimatum to return what we had taken from him. As far as Dean knew, it was just the ivory we had in our possession - we were reluctant to mention anything about stealing the fossils. Banking on us all keeping a low profile until the feds were available, we settled in and hunkered down in the motel. The final showdown with Hondo and his crew was just around the corner. In a landscape full of strange and giant beasts, Battle Cat's mettle would soon be tested.
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Nov 30, 2022 17:49
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