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The Triangle, Holiest of Symbols, Strongest of Shapes.  The triangle is geometrically perfect. As early as Euclid, the mathematical proof was common knowledge among the cognoscenti  Against the triangle all other shapes are pathetic and weak. Go ahead, try to name a better shape than a triangle.  Other nations have tried to come up with better systems than Spain's righteous triangle. They have failed and we keep ending up here.  gently caress you, Italy. You didn't make the world cup because god is punishing you for your clown bullshit.  Terry Venables, I hope you get some nice presents for Christmas because this tree is poo poo.  You fool. You absolute, utter rube.  Just... god damnit.   Of course you do, kids. Of course you do. But what do we really mean when we say triangles? In football We mean... Spain. 1,028 passes completed, 70% possession, 120 minutes and a single goal. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7o5U0wd-TI NO, NOT THAT MATCH. NEVER THAT MATCH. There, much better. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxQWNyrVgEM We mean tiki taka. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sR67JvLNn9U The Saint While certain colonial clods were saying stupid things like "Only three things can happen when you pass and two of them are bad," Spain was mastering virtue. You see, on August 4, 1871 Pau Garcia, a simple Jamón farmer witnessed a miracle. From heaven, with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God, descended His Majesty, Johann Cruyff. He spent the next one hundred and seventeen years wandering the earth, spreading his simple wisdom before finally returning home, to Barcelona. Where he is definitely from. Ever since, Spain's style of play has been the one true faith and the only unbroken line of virtuosity passed down from maestro to student, at his temple, La Masia. And nowhere else in the world is his vision more perfectly put into practice than Spain and its holy triangle. Certainly not in the Netherlands where they play a filthy, uninspired game devoid of feeling and elegance. Disgusting.  The Architect "How can I doubt myself? I am the best coach on the face of the earth."  Luis Enrique, Spain's coach received the holy precepts through a single touch from Pep Guardiola in 2008 and now will bring glory and honor back to Spain. He is also going to do the same thing he did when he won literally all the titles in Barcelona. Here is a video on his tactics when he won everything at Barcelona. Here? Same - try to set up lots of little passes to move the defense around, maintain possession of the ball and then, when the timing is perfect? Strike. Maybe. Maybe pass it around a couple more times. People will try to tell you that Spain is playing differently now, but blood runs true. Before we touch on the players in this year's team, we must examine Spain itself. A nation divided "In 2010, Barcelona won the World Cup, not Spain." -some painter Despite so much of Spanish football's heritage and playing style being based on Barcelona, there is another team that plays in Spain. For every light, there must be a darkness. "For we are not contending against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world rulers of this present darkness, against the spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places." -el clasico pregame speech, Jose Mourinho Real Madrid is the other team from which Spain draws its most talented players. They are also very good and in 2010, Spain finally won its first world cup by combining the best players at Real Madrid and Barcelona. This was widely agreed to be unfair and they have restrained themselves since then. Do Not Trust Their Lies Jealous nations, and all around cads, the Netherlands have alleged that Spain has historically had issues with doping. These are duplicitous lies. Doping opponents? Sure, who hasn't engaged in a little playful poisoning from time to time. https://en.as.com/en/2018/03/19/soccer/1521490755_077233.html But doping yourself? Never. https://www.independent.ie/sport/so...s-36943284.html Fortunately for everyone, the brave Spanish courts had the records destroyed so this baseless slander cannot be repated. Therefore and QED, Spain is innocent. Case closed. https://www.goal.com/en-gb/news/the-doping-doctor-eufemiano-fuentes-footballs-unanswered/blt0438de3808b6d2ef In fact, Spain's virtue continues unparalleled. Unlike other fraudulent European teams like France, Germany or England who require outside talent to compete, all of Spain's players hail from Spain proper. The Artists From their keeper Unai Simon who is not David de Gea. https://i.imgur.com/UrcwEQD.mp4 or Robert Sanchez who is also not David de Gea and is also not Kepa https://twitter.com/FootballJOE/status/1502630454503124993 or even David Raya who is, perhaps surprisingly, also not Kepa nor is he, despite being a Spanish keeper, David de Gea  Through their defenders Cesar Azpilicueta (Chelsea, very reasonable, would never foul you) https://i.imgur.com/KKMXSnD.mp4 Dani Carvajal (Real Madrid, slipped, totally an accident) https://i.imgur.com/zw5hsF1.mp4 Eric Garcia (Barcelona, fair and balanced, even supports Brazil)  Hugo Guillamon (Valencia, believes in Spain and, by extension, Barcelona)  Pau Torres (Villarreal, believes in nothing, feels nothing, God is dead and your suffering is all that amuses him)  Aymeric Laporte (Manchester City, makes tiny triangles with his head and the ball and also the goal, for Pep. Sometimes fails amusingly because he loves to makes Pep laugh) https://i.imgur.com/1O0Y3LF.mp4 Jordi Alba (Barcelona, released by Barcelona as a kid for being too small despite Messi also being small)  Jose Gaya (Valencia, sometimes likes to do the worm on the field and accidentally sort of weirdly headbutt people who fouled him) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XI0ml9VcflM their midfield of Rodri (Manchester City, defensive stalwart, is going to foul your favorite player and then take his shirt off, a mentor to Pinot and Nico Williams) https://i.imgur.com/hBLnwV1.mp4 Gavi (FC Barcelona, heartthrob, approximately 12, part of the new Iniesta/Xavi duo with Pedri, secretly thinks he's the Iniesta) https://i.imgur.com/KeXzsmw.mp4 Carlos Soler (PSG, doesn't really start there, misses Valencia, won't start here either)  Marcos Llorente (Atletico Madrid, sees what laporte has with pep and desperately wants the same with Simeone, defensive but not defensive enough for Simeone, currently considering dying his hair black to make el cholo love him) https://i.imgur.com/aUqx10x.mp4 Pedri (Barcelona, other half of Iniesta and Xavi 2.0, tells everyone "that's so Xavi" whenever Gavi does anything but secretly concerned he's actually Xavi after this incident, for him it was a Tuesday, one of the best young players in the world and going to be an absolute terror for years and years) https://i.imgur.com/lCGu2by.mp4 Koke Resurreccion (Atletico Madrid, says he did not do it but definitely did, regarded as Xavi's actual successor by Xavi, does not understand how he ended up as an attack-minded passing midfielder at Atletico, concerned it was all a big mistake) https://i.imgur.com/E2hEt46.mp4 and their forwards Ferran Torres (Barcelona, secretly sees a therapist every week to process Pep trading him, thinks nobody knows but they all know and just hope that he's OK and someday feels comfortable telling them about it, Guardiola still thinks he was traded to Orlando City, will probably start at right wing)  https://i.imgur.com/Znz0H44.mp4 Nico Williams (Athletic Club, accidentally lifts his shirt up at every opportunity, knows everyone appreciates it, is not going to play, born in Spain to parents who were in Spain at the time he was born and is definitely not like players from noted fraud nation France born in the country to Ghanaian refugee parents look I'm joking a little about racism in spain which is bad and about colonialism in european football which is also bad if all you want from a former colony you hosed over is their football talent, but I want to make it clear that this really isn't on the players at all it's just a commentary on the state of the world and how it is bad)  Yeremi Pino (Villarreal, brought along to provide competition in the abs show, slightly more direct with his "where'd my shirt go? it is gone oh well" technique) https://i.imgur.com/X13ai9F.mp4 Alvaro Morata (Atletico Madrid, is amazing at getting into good positions but a mediocre finisher and just gets dragged as a result but you would still rather have a guy who gets a ton of great shots and is bad at finishing them than a guy who gets no good shots but sometimes finishes well even if the former looks silly and please stop making fun of Morata he is a good lad thank you, ok actually maybe a few jokes are OK but not too many because he has suffered enough with this awful kit) https://i.imgur.com/GNexfe0.mp4 https://i.imgur.com/NMRkES6.mp4 Marco Asensio (Real Madrid, incredibly talented, just for whatever reason can't quite put it together but won't leave Madrid) https://i.imgur.com/q8wDvJv.mp4 Pablo Sarabia (PSG, has played 432 minutes for PSG this season because he is not Messi, Mbappe or Neymar, but may well start for Spain, regrets his choice to play football for money instead of following his true passion for adult water aerobics)  Dani Olmo (RB Leipzig, got lost and ended up in Germany, too embarrassed to ask for directions back to Barcelona, incredibly disappointed in the perfidious dutch)  Ansu Fati (Barcelona, surprise selection coming off injury, so Spanish that he was born somewhere else just so he could show everyone how much he loved Spain by moving there and playing for their national team no it is not just because he is very good) https://i.imgur.com/1IsJ9Gu.mp4 they're all Spanish players probably who were born in Spain and have parents who have lived in Spain for generations. They're also all new since 2010. But one man, one man remains from that 2010 squad. Sergio Busquets.  One man with enough shithousery for an entire team. https://i.imgur.com/qIFSjnX.mp4 He is a work of art. https://i.imgur.com/sfUCR0g.mp4 Gerard Pique was not permitted to play because of a last minute red card for having a potty mouth. Also hilariously almost forced to wear his ex, Shakira's, name on his shirt for Barcelona. Pulled one last lever for Barcelona before he becomes its next President by retiring early. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1MjUyhhWWI Secretly seething for years over Ramos's relationship with Ronaldo but too afraid to say how he feels.  Taught Rodri everything he knows about shirts.  Sergio Ramos did not play out of respect for his friend. Aww, look at them.  BFFs 4evah  Absolutely 100% not juicing.  Just good clean living on a yacht. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bGpgZZgnts Seriously though, if he were taking PEDs he would be less injured. Sorry, only gif I could find searching "ramos injury." I don't know why. https://i.imgur.com/LmCHRng.mp4 Would trade ten lifetimes with Ronaldo for just one more foul on Messi. https://i.imgur.com/PKv2Iv7.mp4 Old Wisdom In closing, let me quote a dear friend of mine whose prescience and shallow wisdom is an inspiration to each of us that we can, nay we must do better tomorrow. "Let me share some unique Spanish soccer experience with you, in this very thread, because you are missing the subtlety. Instead of following the ball, follow the off ball movement. Look for triangles to appear, dissolve and then reappear right before your eyes. Watch as player's heads swivel to find the man making the run for the second pass, not the first. Watch the tight control and decision making. Don't appreciate the pass that was made, appreciate the pass that wasn't because it was more difficult and less likely to be successful. Watch the instant pressure applied once the ball is lost. Appreciate the monumental patience and discipline required to maintain possession without making foolish passes for long stretches. Realize that they are making things that are incredibly difficult to do both physically and tactically look so easy that it becomes boring. Or you can just say lol Spain matches are boring and hate them." https://i.imgur.com/wZMmsBl.mp4 Amen https://i.imgur.com/x0mIh5z.mp4
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Nov 12, 2022 03:47
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this is a great op, op
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Nov 12, 2022 04:48
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Beautiful op, op
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Nov 12, 2022 08:27
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Appreciating the op that wasn't made even more, op
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Nov 12, 2022 09:21
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OP you might be having a manic episode
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Nov 12, 2022 09:21
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Looking forward to Morata whiffing multiple easy chances and the Spain attack inevitably stalling out. Williams was giving opponents fits when he came in during the Nations league matches, so I don’t expect to see him play at all lol.
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Nov 12, 2022 09:55
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lmao nice thread tag idiot* *this post is a representation of Spain's opponent getting the ball 1 (one) time and immediately scoring a goal and then turning back to their defensive positions, watching Spain aimlessly pass the ball around their midfield for the remainder of the game
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Nov 12, 2022 13:49
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trem_two posted:this is a great op, op
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Nov 12, 2022 13:53
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Great op but I'm here to say it, gently caress Spain, they ruined football for a decade.
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Nov 12, 2022 13:57
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trem_two posted:this is a great op, op Thanks, I tried. Vegetable posted:OP you might be having a manic episode More like religious ecstasy. Shrapnig posted:Great op but I'm here to say it, gently caress Spain, they ruined football for a decade. As long as we all agree that it was Spain that did it and had nothing to do with the iniquitous Dutch. shut up blegum posted:lmao nice thread tag idiot* nooooo
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Nov 12, 2022 16:52
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Loving Africa Chaps posted:Beautiful op, op
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Nov 14, 2022 16:48
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Is this the first World Cup where Spain have to contend with VAR not pulling their midfield up on 1000 rotated niggly little fouls that are infuriating to watch and kill all hope?
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Nov 15, 2022 00:08
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Total Meatlove posted:Is this the first World Cup where Spain have to contend with VAR not pulling their midfield up on 1000 rotated niggly little fouls that are infuriating to watch and kill all hope? They were at 2018 weren't they? Let's go to the studio to check how they did in 2018...oh...
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Nov 15, 2022 04:12
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in 2018 they sacked their coach like a week before the world cup because he agreed to take the real madid job then said coach got sacked by madrid after like two months. lol.
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Nov 15, 2022 13:20
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HappyCamperGL posted:in 2018 they sacked their coach like a week before the world cup because he agreed to take the real madid job then said coach got sacked by madrid after like two months. lol. That said coach is now the manager of Wolves. Spain's current manager has become a Twitch streamer and will be streaming throughout the tournament. https://twitter.com/JimenaJuani/status/1592308609882656768
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Nov 15, 2022 16:01
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voted 5, fantastic OP
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Nov 17, 2022 17:26
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Ansu Fati, Gavi, and Nico Williams all scored today in the friendly against Jordan. All are 20 years old or younger. LOL if Luis Enrique doesn't play them
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Nov 18, 2022 00:21
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https://twitter.com/ElChiringuitoEN/status/1595576028948316160 https://twitter.com/JimenaJuani/status/1595544340893409291 I do want to see the reaction when Spain gets eliminated in the World Cup.
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Nov 24, 2022 01:41
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psyer posted:https://twitter.com/ElChiringuitoEN/status/1595576028948316160 lmao this owns, Costa Rica didn't lay a glove on Spain and just rolled over for them. Incredible overreaction
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Nov 24, 2022 01:47
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Is there any speculation that the defeat was on purpose? Now Spain are facing Morocco and probably Portugal, which should be easier than Croatia and Brazil (had they finished first in group).
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Dec 2, 2022 09:56
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Wouldn't that have been pretty risky? If they lost and CR won they'd be out.
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Dec 2, 2022 15:08
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I'm looking at the GER-CRA stats now and you're right. Germans scored two very late in the game, I thought they had the lead much earlier.
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Dec 2, 2022 16:08
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Frauds
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Dec 6, 2022 19:00
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Doctor Malaver posted:Is there any speculation that the defeat was on purpose? Now Spain are facing Morocco and probably Portugal, which should be easier than Croatia and Brazil
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Dec 6, 2022 19:03
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Op fantastico, oppsyer posted:https://twitter.com/ElChiringuitoEN/status/1595576028948316160 Also, this
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Dec 6, 2022 19:57
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when spain's playstyle works it really works, but when it doesn't (when the other team can defend decently) they refuse to have a plan b for some reason and it's painful for everyone involved
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Dec 6, 2022 20:00
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Dec 6, 2022 20:06
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Ahaha get hosed cynical garbage team
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Dec 6, 2022 20:10
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The moors coming back to conquer the bald frauds a second time
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Dec 6, 2022 21:38
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Spayed.
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Dec 6, 2022 23:34
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Love that they’re tracking the flight back to Spain. https://twitter.com/elchiringuitotv/status/1600456021935546371?s=46&t=iUO7reXTZcwAKIRq1Bga4A
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Dec 7, 2022 12:47
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get icelanded, bitch
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Dec 7, 2022 12:48
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https://twitter.com/rfef/status/1600815057117380611 no surprise here
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Dec 8, 2022 12:51
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https://twitter.com/rfef/status/1600826435874484227 Spain's new manager. He used to be Spain's u-21 coach or something.
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Dec 8, 2022 17:34
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Nice to see Brian McDermott still getting work
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Dec 8, 2022 17:42
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What Spain needs is a Mourinho-esque figure. Someone so divergent from how Spain currently plays to shake them out of their malaise.
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Dec 8, 2022 17:46
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Tony Pulis is available
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Dec 8, 2022 17:48
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grande sam
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Dec 8, 2022 18:53
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Vegetable posted:What Spain needs is a Mourinho-esque figure. Someone so divergent from how Spain currently plays to shake them out of their malaise. Marcelo bielsa is currently available
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Dec 8, 2022 19:12
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Vegetable posted:What Spain needs is a Mourinho-esque figure. Someone so divergent from how Spain currently plays to shake them out of their malaise.
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Dec 12, 2022 17:39
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