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Welcome to the ADTRW Idiot King contest. Beginning next Monday, November 28, until next Tuesday, November 29, post a delicious home-made burger. A poll will be run, and the best burger post(s) will earn their creators Idiot King privileges for December, along with the responsibility of running the next Idiot King contest. Has this been approved by site administration? Of course it has, and if Fluffdaddy doesn't go along with it he's gay.
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Nov 22, 2022 01:33
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 20:36 |
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Reserved for links to the burger posts.
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Nov 22, 2022 01:33
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There’s no poll I am the sole judge and all of the jury
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Nov 22, 2022 01:34
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Please do not hijack my contest
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Nov 22, 2022 01:34
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While you may speak with a tone of authority - you relinquished your moderation privileges.
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Nov 22, 2022 01:35
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I did not stop being Namtab though.
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Nov 22, 2022 01:37
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I will give a mark out of 10 for the burger and a mark out of 5 for the post, highest score wins - as per the chat thread
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Nov 22, 2022 01:38
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Namtab's idea is (burger) buns, let's go with the poll.
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Nov 22, 2022 01:41
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Can't wait to show off my cooking skills, those being of a 13 year old teenager.
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Nov 22, 2022 01:43
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There’s 5 points available if you can make the post funny
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Nov 22, 2022 01:43
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That’s a third of the points!
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Nov 22, 2022 01:44
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let's goooooo
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Nov 22, 2022 01:45
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Nov 22, 2022 05:14
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No problems here officer
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Nov 22, 2022 14:50
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As promised, I have made what I consider to be the Best Burger by an Amateur Chef of the Something Awful Forum's ADTRW Subforum's Longtime Posting Regulars Category. Apologies if a little early, but I'm sure its the 28th somewhere. Ingredients and Preparation:  Medium Ground Beef, I would've had a mix of Beef and Pork but my local grocery store was all out of pork.  I cut up bunch of bacon strips, diced an onion, roughly chopped some mushrooms, and cracked 2 eggs; I also added a cup of cheese.  With my LARGE MUSCULAR HANDS I kneaded the Meat-Dough into Meat Bread.  I also baked two Large Portabello Mushrooms to use as buns; I cleaned them with a paper towel and scrapped out the shroom frills inside and removed the stem; then I coated them in olive oil mixed with pepper. I forgot about seasoning so I added that in next to my mixture and kneaded it again.  For my spices I put everything from my spice rack and some hot pepper rings for extra salt along with a dab of sriracha sauce. Burgers:   There is an imposter among us.  I then put the burgers into the oven at 200f for an hour to do what I understand is called a "reverse sear". I applied a liberal amount of pepper on the burgers, means tested of course. I proceeded to fry them on high heat with some olive oil lubricating the pan with some butter. Unfortunately for some reason this resulted in a LOT of smoke, I had to open the backdoors and windows.  I was aiming for medium-rare and got something closer to a light medium?  I made a smiley face from the mustard, reflecting my confidence at making Best Burger. As well as a portrait of Karl Marx out of mayo, out of disappointment for a food that celebrates the burgeoisie.  Take 2 on a different pan while I'm cleaning the first pan, this time I used canola oil with less better. The sear is actually better? Prepping the burger:  A Closeup, as not to reveal the mess that is my kitchen, reflecting my state of mind.  Like Moses parting the red sea, or David splitting the baby, I part the burger into two halves, reflecting the duality of man and the separation of the body from the mind.  Taste test: Juicy++. Hard to get into my mouth as I am not a snake, and could not unhinge my jaw wide enough. Small-. Delicious+++. In my objective opinion probably my best burger. Raenir Salazar fucked around with this message at 00:17 on Nov 28, 2022 |
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Nov 28, 2022 00:15
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I didn't get that fancy with mine. I appreciate the effort post Raenir. Luckily for you I am not judging these, otherwise the mayonnaise would have been an instant fail state achieved. I went nice and simple. Heated a pan on the stove top with some butter, toasted sone buns on it, then took 4 burger patties, put some pepper and garlic powder on them, and put them on the pan. After 5 minutes I flipped them, putting a piece of pepper jack cheese on each, and cooked for another 3 minutes. After they were done, I put them on the buns, put some leftover bacon i had earlier on it, and added a small unnecessary slice of avocado to each to get fancy. I had one plain, and another where I added some gochujang sauce for sone sweet and savory flavor (it was actually quite nice).    
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Nov 29, 2022 03:05
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I'm vegan so I made a bean burger, using a recipe from the excellent cookbook Veganomicon. It was my first time trying out this particular recipe. Made some fries for my side since you gotta have fries. I threw a slice of vegan cheese on the burger but I forgot to buy lettuce so it was a bit bare. Still good though! I've made bean burgers before but what set this one apart from other recipes I've tried is that it used vital wheat gluten. It gave it a real, for lack of a better word, "meaty" kind of crunch to it. Made it feel more substantial than other bean burgers I've made, and I'm definitely gonna be using that recipe again in the future.
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Dec 1, 2022 14:27
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I'm not going to update my second post with links to the same page. But it would appear that it is time to vote. I was really meaning to make one, but life happened. So I'll just post it when I get around to it.
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Dec 1, 2022 18:38
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None of the posts are funny, so I have decided that the best burger is Raenir's based on perceived effort. The vote is in and he is the winner.
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Dec 2, 2022 03:53
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not sure what the prize is, i guess if fluffdaddy doesnt mske raenir an IK i'll buy a forums upgrade or gift cert.
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Dec 2, 2022 03:56
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It sounds like there is one vote in for Raenir. I vote for Srice on the basis of being paid-off by Big Vegetable.
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Dec 2, 2022 06:06
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Raenir gets my vote Sorry, Raenir
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Dec 2, 2022 07:11
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Raenir gets my vote for photographing the whole burger process.
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Dec 2, 2022 12:56
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Not sure if participants are supposed to vote, but I suppose Raenir did make the best burger if you scrape off the mayonnaise.
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Dec 2, 2022 14:19
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Congratulations to our new Idiot King Raenir.
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Dec 2, 2022 23:00
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Thank you everyone! I guess I did make the best Burger afterall!!  My confidence and knowledge matched up 
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Dec 3, 2022 00:00
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I look forward to the Idiot King contest you run at the end of this month.
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Dec 3, 2022 02:11
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Ohtori Akio posted:I look forward to the Idiot King contest you run at the end of this month. 
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Dec 3, 2022 03:01
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ive made burgers with onions and mushrooms before but not mixed into the patty, gonna try that the next time i make burgers
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Dec 6, 2022 21:38
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 20:36 |
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Maybe its because I'm storing them better but I've had the left overs in the fridge since I made them and I had one today for lunch and it was still juicy.
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Dec 6, 2022 21:57
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