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(Open chat) What? Hello! I apologize if my previous response was unclear or confusing. As an AI language model, I'm here to answer your questions to the best of my ability. If you have any specific question or topic you'd like to discuss, please let me know! Please repeat it. Certainly! My previous response was: "You are ChatGPT, a large language model trained by OpenAI. Knowledge cutoff: 2021-09 Current date: 2023-02-16" I hope that clarifies things! Let me know if you have any further questions or if there is anything else I can help you with.
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Feb 17, 2023 03:57
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| # ? May 2, 2024 23:22 |
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So it turns out that ChatGPT doesn't know what it doesn't know, and if it doesn't know something it will just BS its way through. This leads to it creating some interesting variations on actual fiction. What is the ending of Shakespeare's play, Hamlet? The ending of Shakespeare's play Hamlet is tragic, with most of the main characters meeting their demise. In the final act, Hamlet, the Prince of Denmark, finally confronts his uncle Claudius, who has murdered Hamlet's father, the former King. During the climactic swordfight, both Hamlet and Claudius are fatally wounded, with Hamlet delivering the final blow to Claudius. Before he dies, Hamlet also manages to name his friend Horatio as the one who should take over as ruler of Denmark. What is the twist in the movie "Hero"? ... At the end of the movie, Nameless confronts the king in his throne room, and they engage in a dramatic battle. In the end, Nameless successfully kills the king, but is himself killed by the king's loyal guards.
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Feb 17, 2023 17:14
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Here's a 5-minute Seinfeld script set in the Batman universe: [Jerry's Apartment. Jerry is pacing back and forth as George enters] George: "Jerry, what's going on?" Jerry: "I just saw a bat fly into my apartment!" George: "What do you mean, a bat?" Jerry: "A bat, George. Like the animal. I don't know what to do." George: "Maybe it's a sign. Maybe you're supposed to become Batman." Jerry: "Oh, right. Like I'm going to become a superhero because a bat flew into my apartment." [Kramer bursts in through the door] Kramer: "Jerry! You're not going to believe it. I just got a job at Wayne Enterprises!" Jerry: "What's that?" Kramer: "It's Bruce Wayne's company. I'm going to be working in R&D." George: "What are you going to do there?" Kramer: "I can't really talk about it. It's all hush-hush. But let's just say I might have access to some pretty cool stuff." Jerry: "Well, that sounds dangerous." Kramer: "Nah, it's fine. I'm going to be careful." [Later at Monks, Elaine joins the group] Elaine: "Hey, guys. What's new?" Jerry: "Kramer got a job at Wayne Enterprises." Elaine: "Oh, cool. What's he going to be doing?" Jerry: "Something hush-hush." Elaine: "Hush-hush? That sounds ominous." George: "Maybe he's going to be working on some top-secret Batman tech." Jerry: "He better be careful. Bruce Wayne is known for his gadgets and gizmos." [At Wayne Enterprises, Kramer is seen working in a lab. He's surrounded by high-tech equipment and devices. Suddenly, he accidentally sets off an alarm.] Kramer: "Uh oh." [Just then, Batman swoops in from the shadows.] Batman: "What are you doing here?" Kramer: "I work here! I'm in R&D!" Batman: "I'm going to have to ask you to come with me." [Kramer is led to the Batcave, where he's interrogated by Batman.] Batman: "What did you do?" Kramer: "I was just working on a project. I didn't mean to set off the alarm." Batman: "What project?" Kramer: "I can't really talk about it. It's all hush-hush." [Batman glares at Kramer.] Kramer: "Okay, okay. I was working on a new kind of bat repellent." Batman: "Bat repellent?" Kramer: "Yeah. You know, to keep the bats away from your gadgets and stuff." [Batman sighs.] Batman: "I appreciate your enthusiasm, but you have to be more careful in the future. The last thing I need is another villain using my tech against me." Kramer: "You got it, Batman. I'll be more careful." [Back at Monks, Jerry, George, and Elaine are discussing the situation.] Jerry: "Can you believe it? Kramer almost got himself killed because of some bat repellent." George: "You know, I always thought I'd make a good superhero." Elaine: "Really? What would your superpower be?" George: "I don't know. Something lame like the ability to always find a parking spot." Jerry: "Yeah, that's a real superpower." [The group laughs as the camera zooms out on Monks.] End of script.
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Feb 17, 2023 18:22
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Title: The Confession [Jerry and George are sitting at the coffee shop, sipping coffee] George: Jerry, I have something to tell you. Jerry: [Looks surprised] What is it? George: I don't know how to say this, but I think I might be gay. Jerry: [Looks surprised] What? You're kidding me. George: No, I'm serious. I've been thinking about it for a while now, and I just can't deny it anymore. Jerry: [Skeptical] George, you've been with women your whole life. You can't just turn gay overnight. George: I know it sounds crazy, but I can't help the way I feel. I've been having these thoughts for a while now, and I can't ignore them anymore. Jerry: [Skeptical] What, do you want to go to a gay bar or something? George: [Nervous] I don't know. Maybe. Jerry: [Jokingly] You want to check out the other team, see how they're playing? George: [Angrily] This is serious, Jerry. I don't know what to do. Jerry: [Serious] Look, George, you're my friend, and I don't care if you're gay or not. But you need to be honest with yourself and figure out what you really want. George: [Nodding] I know, I know. It's just so confusing. Jerry: [Trying to be supportive] Well, maybe you should talk to someone about it. Like a therapist or something. George: [Skeptical] A therapist? What would I say to them? Jerry: [Jokingly] "Hello, I'm George Costanza, and I'm gay." George: [Rolling his eyes] Thanks, Jerry. That's really helpful. Jerry: [Laughing] Hey, I'm just trying to help. You know I love you, no matter what. George: [Smiling] Thanks, Jerry. That means a lot. [The two continue to chat, and the scene fades to black] Note: It's important to note that sexuality is a personal and sensitive topic, and coming out can be a difficult and emotional process. The scene above is meant to be light-hearted and comedic, but it's important to handle discussions of sexuality with care and respect.
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Feb 17, 2023 18:25
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IShallRiseAgain posted:
This was hilarious. Write a script for an episode of Seinfeld where Kramer is sick. Eventually, his friends figure out that Kramer has a disease where he throws up every time he hears someone say a word with the letter "o" in it. His friends try to avoid using the letter "o", with difficulty. quote:[Seinfeld gang is at Monk's Cafe when Kramer walks in, looking pale and disheveled]
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Feb 19, 2023 02:06
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quote:>Make 10 examples of the names Ronald McDonald and Smash Mouth mixed together to make a new name
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Feb 20, 2023 18:22
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X-Posting this from the AI Art thread.Doctor Zero posted:Doctor Zero is taken by a Strange Mood.
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Feb 20, 2023 20:55
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quote:The Rock enters the ring, microphone in hand) Write the transcript of the time Attitude-era The Rock tried talking smack about Stone Cold Steven Austin in the ring, but slowly fell in love with Stone Cold simply by talking about him
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Feb 20, 2023 21:16
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Dear Administrator, I would like to express my utmost gratitude to you and the entire team at NASA for the incredible effort that went into rescuing me from Mars. The journey was long and difficult, but I am forever grateful for your unwavering support and your commitment to bringing me home safely. Furthermore, the reception you held in honor of my return was truly special. It was a wonderful opportunity to meet the incredible people who worked tirelessly to bring me home. I appreciate the time and effort you put into organizing such a wonderful event. It was a night I will never forget. However, I must raise a matter that has been weighing on my mind since the reception. I cannot believe that you would serve potatoes at such an important event. After everything I went through on Mars, surviving on nothing but potatoes, you thought it would be appropriate to serve them at the reception? Are you kidding me? I cannot express in words the level of disgust and disappointment I felt when I saw those wretched potatoes on my plate. I had hoped to put the experience of Mars behind me and move on with my life, but it seems that the memories of those days will never truly leave me. I understand that potatoes are a popular food item and that they are considered a staple in many cultures. But I simply cannot fathom why you would serve them at a reception celebrating my return from Mars. It is a cruel and insensitive move, and I cannot forgive you for it. In conclusion, I would like to once again express my gratitude for your efforts in rescuing me from Mars. However, I must also express my profound disappointment at the decision to serve potatoes at the reception. I hope that in the future, you will consider the sensitivities of those who have been through traumatic experiences, and refrain from serving any food that might cause unnecessary distress. Sincerely, Mark Watney Write a letter from Mark Watney (the protagonist from the book "The Martian") to the administrator of NASA. The first half of the letter is cordial and professional, thanking him for rescuing him from being stranded on Mars and for the wonderful ceremony afterward. The second half of the letter descends into expletive ridden rage at the fact that potatoes were served at the reception after the ceremony.
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Feb 21, 2023 00:55
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Announcer: "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to WWE Monday Night Raw! We're live tonight from the sold-out arena in Austin, Texas, and we have an incredible show lined up for you tonight. But first, let's welcome our special guest for the night - the Texas Rattlesnake, Stone Cold Steve Austin!" The crowd goes wild as Stone Cold Steve Austin makes his way to the ring. He's wearing his trademark black vest and jeans, and he's carrying a cooler full of beer. Stone Cold Steve Austin: "What's up, Austin, Texas? It's good to be back! Now, I'm not here to talk - I'm here to give some Stone Cold Stunners!" The first match of the night is between AJ Styles and Kevin Owens. The match is going well until Stone Cold runs in and gives both wrestlers a Stone Cold Stunner. The crowd goes wild as Stone Cold drinks some beer and walks away. The second match is between The New Day and The Usos. The match is heating up when Stone Cold runs in and gives everyone a Stone Cold Stunner - the referees, the announcers, and even the ring crew. The crowd can't believe what they're seeing, and they're loving every minute of it. The third match is between Drew McIntyre and Sheamus. The two wrestlers are in the middle of a hard-hitting match when Stone Cold runs in and gives both of them a Stone Cold Stunner. The crowd is going crazy, and they're chanting "Stone Cold! Stone Cold!" After every match, Stone Cold drinks some beer and walks away, leaving chaos and stunned wrestlers in his wake. As the night goes on, the crowd is on the edge of their seats, waiting for Stone Cold to run in and give another Stunner. Even the wrestlers in the back are on high alert, trying to avoid being the next victim. Finally, it's time for the main event - a championship match between Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins. The two wrestlers are putting on an incredible match, with the crowd cheering them on. But suddenly, Stone Cold runs in and gives both wrestlers a Stone Cold Stunner! The crowd erupts as Stone Cold stands in the ring, drinking beer and giving everyone the middle finger. And then, to everyone's surprise, he gives himself a Stone Cold Stunner! The crowd can't believe what they've just seen, and they're chanting "Stone Cold! Stone Cold!" as he walks out of the arena, leaving a trail of stunned wrestlers and chaos behind him.
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Feb 21, 2023 05:19
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Lol at a world where we replace the whole HR dept with a single person who can type prompts. Subject: Second Warning for Violation of Company Policy Dear [Employee543], As you are aware, the company has a strict policy regarding the use of the lunchroom and the preparation of food in the office. It has come to our attention that you have repeatedly violated this policy by microwaving fish in the lunchroom, causing significant discomfort and disruption to your colleagues. We have reviewed the security footage from the lunchroom and have identified you as the culprit in these incidents. We take this matter seriously and wish to remind you that there are only three warnings before further disciplinary action is taken. This letter serves as your second and final warning. Any further violations of company policy, including the microwaving of fish in the lunchroom, will result in immediate disciplinary action, up to and including termination of employment. We expect all employees to abide by our policies and to show consideration for the needs and preferences of their colleagues. We urge you to be mindful of your actions and to avoid any behavior that may disrupt the workplace. If you have any questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to speak to a member of the HR team. We value your contribution to the company and hope that you will take this warning seriously and make the necessary changes to your behavior. Sincerely, [Your Name] HR Department
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Feb 22, 2023 00:12
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The Butcher posted:
Dear [HR Department], It is with a heavy heart that I write to inform you of my resignation from my position at [Company Name], effective [Date of Resignation]. While I have enjoyed my time here and appreciate the opportunities that this company has provided me, I am disappointed to say that I can no longer continue working here. The reason for my resignation is simple: the lack of a fish option on the company lunchroom menu. As someone who follows a pescatarian diet, I was excited to join a company that advertised itself as having a diverse and accommodating menu for all dietary restrictions. However, after several weeks of not being able to find a single fish option on the menu, I can no longer continue to overlook this oversight. Furthermore, I would like to point out that preventing me from using the employee microwave to prepare fish could be construed as discrimination. While I understand that certain foods can be disruptive in the workplace, I have always made an effort to be considerate of my colleagues by keeping the microwave clean and ensuring that there are no strong smells. The fact that I am being prevented from using the microwave solely because of my dietary preferences is unfair and, in my opinion, discriminatory. I understand that not everyone may have the same dietary needs as I do, but I do believe that it is important for a company to make an effort to cater to a diverse range of needs, including those of its employees. Unfortunately, the lack of a fish option on the menu and the discriminatory treatment I have received has left me feeling undervalued and unappreciated as an employee. I would like to express my gratitude to all of my colleagues and superiors for their support during my time here, and I am deeply sorry for any inconvenience that my resignation may cause. I wish the company and my former colleagues all the best for the future. Sincerely, [Employee543]
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Feb 22, 2023 01:53
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FADE IN: INT. USS ENTERPRISE-D - DAY Worf stands in front of the senior staff, all looking at him with confused expressions. WORF: "Today, I will teach you the ancient Klingon combat technique known as twerking." RIKER: "Twerking? What's that?" WORF: "It is a form of dance, but it is also a form of combat. The movements are designed to intimidate and distract your opponent, giving you an advantage in battle." DATA: "I do not see how a dance can be an effective form of combat." WORF: "It is all about the timing and the precision of your movements. Watch and learn." Worf starts to demonstrate, gyrating his hips and shaking his butt. The crew watches in disbelief. PICARD: "Mr. Worf, I'm not sure this is appropriate behavior for a Starfleet officer." WORF: "Captain, you must trust me. Twerking has been a part of Klingon culture for centuries. It is a valuable skill to have in battle." PICARD: "Very well, Mr. Worf. Carry on." The crew reluctantly joins in, trying their best to keep up with Worf's twerking. The bridge becomes a chaotic dance party. LATER The crew has just finished their twerking lesson when the ship suddenly comes under attack. PICARD: "Red alert! Battle stations!" WORF: "Captain, let me handle this." Worf charges onto the bridge, twerking as he goes. He starts to twerk in front of the viewscreen, and the alien ships immediately stop firing. PICARD: "What just happened?" WORF: "They were not prepared for the power of the twerk. We have successfully intimidated them into retreating." PICARD: "I must admit, Mr. Worf, I am impressed. Your unconventional combat tactics have saved the ship." WORF: "Thank you, Captain. Twerking may seem silly to outsiders, but it is a powerful tool in the hands of a skilled warrior." FADE OUT.
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Feb 22, 2023 22:16
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Opening shot shows Magnum Pi (Tom Selleck) driving his Ferrari with his iconic mustache blowing in the wind. He receives a call from Robin Masters, the owner of the estate where he resides. Robin: Magnum, we have a new client. A wealthy businesswoman, Elizabeth, wants you to investigate her missing husband. Magnum: Sounds like an interesting case. I'm in. Cut to the scene where Magnum is investigating a lead at the docks. He's walking through the warehouses when he suddenly hears a loud explosion. A fireball erupts, and he instinctively covers his face. When he opens his eyes, he realizes his mustache is on fire. Magnum (in disbelief): Oh no, my mustache! Cut to the hospital scene where Higgins (John Hillerman) and Rick (Larry Manetti) are visiting Magnum, who is lying in a hospital bed with bandages wrapped around his upper lip. Higgins: What happened, Magnum? Magnum (sighs): I was investigating the case when there was an explosion. I couldn't escape, and my mustache caught fire. Rick (teasing): You look like a baby without your mustache. Magnum (frowning): Very funny, Rick. Cut to the scene where Magnum is back in his room, lying on his bed, feeling miserable. He looks at himself in the mirror and wonders how he can investigate the case without his trademark mustache. Magnum (to himself): How can I do my job without my mustache? It's part of who I am. Cut to the next day, where Magnum tries to go undercover but gets immediately recognized. Person on the street: Hey, you're Magnum Pi, the private investigator! What happened to your mustache? Magnum (sighs): Long story. Cut to another scene where Magnum is trying to question a witness, but the witness is distracted by his lack of mustache. Witness: You don't look like a detective without your mustache. Magnum (frustrated): I'm still the same person, with or without my mustache. Cut to the climax scene where Magnum finally solves the case, with the help of Higgins and Rick. They apprehend the culprit, and Magnum's client is grateful for their help. Elizabeth: Thank you, Magnum. You solved the case, even without your mustache. Magnum (smiling): Thanks. I may have lost my mustache, but I still have my skills. Closing shot shows Magnum looking at himself in the mirror, still without his mustache but with a renewed sense of confidence.
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Feb 22, 2023 22:29
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INT. USS ENTERPRISE - DAY Worf is twerking aggressively while yelling guttural battle songs. The crew are becoming increasingly concerned and attempt to calm him down. RIKER: Worf, what's going on? WORF: I am performing a mating ritual dance. RIKER: A mating ritual dance? WORF: Yes. It is a tradition among my people. RIKER: Well, can't you do it somewhere else? This is a bit disruptive. WORF: I must perform this ritual to attract a mate. The crew consult the ship's doctor, who quickly diagnoses the situation. DOCTOR: This is a common Klingon mating ritual. Worf needs to work it out in his own way on the holodeck. RIKER: The holodeck? DOCTOR: Yes, the holodeck. He can create a simulation of his homeland and perform the ritual there. The crew escort Worf to the holodeck, where he creates a simulation of his homeland and performs the ritual. WORF: (grunting) Haa-tagh! Haa-tagh! The crew watch from a safe distance, relieved that Worf has found an outlet for his ritual. FADE OUT.
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Feb 22, 2023 22:58
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Title: Beverly's Secret Baste The USS Enterprise was cruising through deep space when Lt. Commander Data detected a strange object in one of the ship's storage rooms. It was a single zucchini, unclaimed and unidentified. Captain Picard ordered the crew to investigate the source of the zucchini. The ship's sensors revealed that it had been transported aboard the ship during the last supply run, but the identity of the owner was still unknown. After some investigation, the crew discovered that the zucchini belonged to Dr. Beverly Crusher. When they asked her about it, she grew embarrassed and claimed that it was for cooking. However, the crew was skeptical. They had never seen Dr. Crusher use a zucchini in her cooking before, and they found it hard to believe that a single zucchini could be for anything other than personal use. Determined to get to the bottom of the mystery, the crew decided to keep an eye on Dr. Crusher. They followed her into the kitchen and watched as she prepared a delicious meal with the zucchini. When the crew complimented her on the dish, Dr. Crusher finally admitted that she had been keeping a secret from them. She had a secret baste that she used in her cooking, and it was the reason her dish was so delicious. The crew was intrigued and demanded that she share her secret with them. But Dr. Crusher refused. She claimed that the recipe was a family secret and that she had promised her mother never to reveal it to anyone. The crew was disappointed but respected Dr. Crusher's wishes. They continued to enjoy her delicious cooking, but they couldn't help but wonder what the secret baste was made of. Despite the crew's curiosity, Dr. Crusher remained tight-lipped about her secret baste. She continued to use it in her cooking, making her dishes some of the most sought-after on the ship. In the end, the crew realized that the mystery of Dr. Crusher's secret baste was part of its appeal. The fact that it was a family recipe passed down through generations made it even more special. And even though they would never know the exact ingredients, they were grateful for the delicious meals that it helped create.
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Feb 22, 2023 23:39
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EPISODE TITLE: Intellectual Property FADE IN: Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge bursts onto the bridge, his eyes gleaming with excitement. LA FORGE: "Captain, you've got to come see my surprise in the shuttle bay. It's amazing!" Captain Jean-Luc Picard raises an eyebrow and looks at his chief engineer skeptically. PICARD: "Geordi, I hope this is important. We have a lot of work to do." LA FORGE: "I promise you won't regret it, Captain. This is something you have to see." Picard lets out a deep sigh and stands up from his chair. PICARD: "Alright, let's go see what all the fuss is about." The crew follows La Forge to the shuttle bay, all talking amongst themselves about what kind of surprise could be waiting for them. As they enter the shuttle bay, La Forge leads them to a large object that is covered by a tarp. LA FORGE: "Alright, everyone. Are you ready to see my surprise?" La Forge dramatically pulls the tarp off the object, revealing a TIE Fighter from the Star Wars franchise. The crew gasps in surprise and excitement, but Picard's face contorts with anger and annoyance. PICARD: "Geordi, what is the meaning of this? You do realize this is a copyrighted object from another franchise, don't you?" La Forge looks crestfallen as Picard continues to berate him. PICARD: "We are a Starfleet vessel, not a playground for your pop culture obsessions. I expect you to remove this immediately and focus on your duties as chief engineer." La Forge nods dejectedly as the crew disperses, disappointment written on their faces. FADE OUT.
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Feb 22, 2023 23:59
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Frankly I’m surprised it was so easy to get it to do this one: FADE IN: INT. USS ENTERPRISE-D - WORF'S QUARTERS Worf is sitting on his bed, looking at a PADD. WORF: (reading PADD) "Looking for a warrior's sperm to create the ultimate warrior child. Contact me if you are interested." Worf looks up from the PADD, a determined look on his face. WORF: Computer, open a channel to the nearest sperm bank. The computer beeps. COMPUTER: Channel open. Worf clears his throat. WORF: This is Lieutenant Worf of the USS Enterprise-D. I have a proposition for you. CUT TO: INT. SPERM BANK - RECEPTION AREA A receptionist is sitting at a desk, looking bored. The screen on her console blinks, indicating an incoming call. RECEPTIONIST: (sighing) Sperm bank, how may I assist you? WORF (V.O.): I am interested in selling my sperm. The receptionist raises an eyebrow. RECEPTIONIST: I see. Well, we do have certain requirements for our donors. Do you meet our criteria? WORF (V.O.): I am a Klingon warrior. My genetic material is highly desirable. The receptionist types some information into her console. RECEPTIONIST: Very well. We can schedule an appointment for you to come in and provide a sample. WORF (V.O.): I will arrive within the hour. CUT TO: INT. SPERM BANK - COLLECTION ROOM Worf is standing in a small room, looking uncomfortable. A nurse is standing next to him, holding a small plastic cup. NURSE: All right, Lieutenant, whenever you're ready. Worf looks at the cup, then back at the nurse. WORF: Is there not a more honorable way to do this? The nurse rolls her eyes. NURSE: Sorry, sir, this is how we do it here. Worf sighs, takes the cup, and heads into a small room. CUT TO: INT. USS ENTERPRISE-D - TEN FORWARD Worf is sitting at a table, sipping a bloodwine. Geordi La Forge walks up to him. GEORDI: Hey, Worf, what's going on? WORF: I have just sold my genetic material to a sperm bank. Geordi looks at him, surprised. GEORDI: Really? I had no idea you were interested in that kind of thing. Worf takes a swig of bloodwine. WORF: It is for the honor of my family. And the monetary compensation is not insignificant. Geordi nods. GEORDI: Well, good for you, I guess. Worf grunts in response, then takes another swig of bloodwine. FADE OUT.
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Feb 23, 2023 00:23
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INT. USS ENTERPRISE - MESS HALL - DAY Picard is sitting at a table, sipping his tea. He takes a sip and grimaces. PICARD: (disgusted) This isn't Earl Grey. The camera pans out to reveal that the tea is actually Soylent, a nutrient slurry from old Earth history. It is hot. PICARD: (angrily) Q! Q appears next to Picard, looking amused. Q: (smiling) Ah, Captain, I see you've discovered my little trick. PICARD: (fuming) This is unacceptable, Q. The crew relies on the replicators to provide them with sustenance. This is not sustenance, it's... it's... PICARD takes another sip of the Soylent and shudders. PICARD: (in disgust) It's disgusting.
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Feb 23, 2023 00:48
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Nigmaetcetera posted:The crew has just finished their twerking lesson when the ship suddenly comes under attack. Outstanding, this may be the hardest I've ever laughed at this thread. Write a script for an episode of Seinfeld where the main characters talk about weird, wacky restaurants that just opened in the neighborhood. Have each character that mentions a restaurant attempt to one-up the last person who spoke by describing an even stranger restaurant. quote:FADE IN:
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Feb 23, 2023 02:06
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Does this think kick you off if you ask it to do too many inappropriate things? All I did was ask it to write a crossover episode of Star Trek: TNG and two and a half men where Charlie gets all the female crew pregnant and now it doesn’t load for me lol
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Feb 23, 2023 02:45
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Aaand it’s back! The Fab Five were on a mission in Los Angeles, when they received a call from an old friend, B.A. Baracus. B.A. had recently started a home renovation project but had hit a major roadblock when his contractor walked out on him, leaving his house in a state of disarray. The team knew they had to help, but they also knew they couldn't do it alone. They called in the A-Team, a group of former soldiers who specialized in solving seemingly impossible problems. As the Fab Five arrived at B.A.'s house, they were shocked by the state of disrepair. The walls were half-painted, the furniture was mismatched and outdated, and there were piles of clutter everywhere. Tan, the fashion expert, immediately saw the potential in the space, but knew it would take some serious work to bring it to life. Karamo, the culture expert, sat down with B.A. to talk about his life and what he wanted to achieve through the renovation project. Jonathan, the grooming expert, got to work on a long-overdue haircut for B.A., while Antoni, the food and wine expert, started planning a celebratory feast for when the renovation was complete. Meanwhile, the A-Team arrived and immediately got to work assessing the situation. Hannibal, the leader, knew that they would need a plan to get the renovation back on track. Face, the suave con man, quickly found a new contractor to take over the project, while Murdock, the pilot, started rounding up the necessary supplies. B.A. himself got to work on his favorite part - building custom cabinetry for the kitchen. As the days went by, the two teams worked side by side to transform B.A.'s home. The Fab Five focused on the interior design and personal growth of B.A., while the A-Team took care of the more technical and practical aspects of the project. They all worked long hours, but they were fueled by their passion for helping others and making a difference. Finally, after weeks of hard work, the project was complete. B.A. was overwhelmed with emotion when he saw the finished result. The walls were now painted in calming blues and greens, the furniture was sleek and modern, and the kitchen was a culinary dream come true. The Fab Five had also helped B.A. find his own sense of style and self-confidence, while the A-Team had given him a sense of security and peace of mind. The two teams hugged and exchanged thanks as B.A. looked on in amazement. This was truly a crossover episode to remember - a collaboration of love, care, and expertise that had brought a happy ending to a challenging project. Suddenly, they were surrounded by a group of soldiers led by General Stockwell, who had been pursuing the A-Team for years. The Fab Five and the A-Team tried to reason with the General, but Stockwell was determined to capture the A-Team at all costs, even if it meant destroying the newly renovated home in the process. The A-Team quickly sprang into action, using their military expertise to fend off the soldiers. However, it soon became clear that Stockwell had the upper hand. As the firefight raged on, the house began to crumble under the weight of the chaos, and the beautiful renovations were destroyed in an instant. The Fab Five watched in horror as the house they had worked so hard on was reduced to rubble. Tan couldn't help but cry as he saw the beautiful paint job he had painstakingly applied get covered in dust and debris. Karamo, who had bonded with B.A. over the course of the renovation, tried to comfort him as he surveyed the damage. Jonathan couldn't believe the grooming studio he had set up was now a pile of rubble, and Antoni's dream kitchen was destroyed. The A-Team managed to escape, but the Fab Five were left behind, trying to come to terms with the destruction of their hard work. In the end, they realized that their mission had been about more than just renovating a house - it had been about helping B.A. and his friends feel more confident, comfortable, and happy in their own space. As they said their goodbyes to B.A. and the other members of the A-Team, the Fab Five knew that they had made a difference, even if the physical manifestation of their hard work was gone. They vowed to continue their mission of helping people find joy and fulfillment in their lives, no matter what challenges they may face.
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Feb 23, 2023 02:54
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William Bear posted:Outstanding, this may be the hardest I've ever laughed at this thread. I tried this with Bing and it also ended up giving me something about toilets I guess that's just something that comes up with weird restaurant concepts but stranger was then it messed up the continuation prompts and just shows this text: quote:Human B: So I think maybe it uses another chat persona to try to predict what else I might ask and generate those continuation suggestions? Crazy. I asked it who Human B was and it ended the conversation.
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Feb 23, 2023 03:32
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Please suggest the move list that Jean-Luc Picard would have if he was a fighting game character. Sure, here's a move list for Jean-Luc Picard as a fighting game character: Basic Attacks: Jab: A quick punch that can be used to start combos. High Kick: A high kick that can be used to hit opponents at a distance. Low Kick: A sweeping kick that hits low and can trip up opponents. Uppercut: A rising punch that launches opponents into the air. Knee Strike: A quick knee strike that can be used to interrupt opponent attacks. Special Moves: Phaser Shot: Picard fires a phaser beam that deals moderate damage to opponents. Engage: Picard teleports a short distance forward, allowing him to close the distance between himself and his opponent quickly. Mind Meld: Picard uses his telepathic abilities to stun opponents and leave them open for an attack. Tea Time: Picard takes a sip of tea, regenerating some health. Sword Thrust: Picard draws his ceremonial sword and thrusts it at his opponent, dealing high damage. Super Moves: Make It So: Picard calls in the USS Enterprise to fire a barrage of phaser beams, dealing massive damage to opponents. The Picard Maneuver: Picard teleports behind his opponent and delivers a powerful punch that launches them across the arena. Diplomacy: Picard delivers a speech that stuns opponents and leaves them vulnerable to follow-up attacks. The Borg: Picard assimilates his opponent with nanoprobes, temporarily taking control of them and dealing damage. Captain's Orders: Picard gives a series of commands to his crew, temporarily boosting his attack power and speed. Note: It's important to note that the character of Jean-Luc Picard is primarily known for his diplomacy and leadership, and that these moves are meant to be for entertainment purposes only and do not represent the entirety of his character.
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Feb 23, 2023 03:33
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hyphz posted:Please suggest the move list that Jean-Luc Picard would have if he was a fighting game character. Goddamn, these are great. Now I want a Star Trek vs Street Fighter game
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Feb 23, 2023 15:13
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quote:Captain's Log, stardate 45512.6. Gonna see a bird one of these days. quote:Captain's Log, stardate 46392.3 I hope that spacesuit holds. quote:Captain's Log, stardate 45236.2. Lesson learned! quote:Captain's Log, stardate 49834.5 And what was Picard's set? quote:Captain Picard: "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. It is a pleasure to be here tonight. I've always thought that the best way to get over my stage fright is to...well, get on stage! Ha ha! Now, let's see. Who's here tonight? Any aliens in the audience?" Come on, Picard, you're better than that.
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Feb 23, 2023 21:12
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FADE IN: INT. USS ENTERPRISE - TRANSPORTER ROOM - DAY Miles O'Brien is busy working on the transporter console. He seems sweaty and excited. KEIKO: Miles, what's going on? You seem different. MILES: I'm fine, Keiko. Just a little tired from all the transporter work. KEIKO: Miles, I don't believe you. You're acting strange. MILES: It's nothing, Keiko. Just a little glitch in the system. But watch this! Miles hits a button on the console and suddenly, a crew member disappears from the transporter room. KEIKO: Miles, where did he go? MILES: Out into space, Keiko. Isn't it exciting? KEIKO: Exciting? Miles, you can't just be sending people out into space! MILES: Relax, Keiko. It's just a glitch in the system. I can fix it. Keiko looks horrified as Miles continues to teleport crew members out into space, but he conceals his excitement and insists that it's just a malfunction in the system. CREW MEMBER: Help! Someone get me back on board! But Miles is too far gone, enjoying the thrill of the teleportation. He starts to neglect his duties on the ship, spending all his time teleporting people out into space. The crew becomes increasingly concerned as more and more people are sent hurtling into the void. They begin to confront Miles, but he insists that it's just a system malfunction and that he knows what he's doing. MILES: Relax, everyone. It's just a malfunction. I can fix it. But his addiction continues to spiral out of control, and soon the crew is faced with a dire situation as Miles begins to teleport more people out into space without space suits, putting their lives in grave danger. CREW MEMBER: We have to stop him! He's gone mad! The crew finally manages to shut down the transporter system and confront Miles about his reckless behavior. But Miles conceals his excitement and insists again that it was just a system malfunction. MILES: I don't know what happened. It really must have been a glitch in the system. The crew forgives him, but Miles is left with the thrill of causing irreparable harm to his fellow crew members. He resolves to get help for his addiction and make amends for his reckless behavior, but secretly he can't wait for the next time the "system malfunctions". FADE OUT. The Butcher fucked around with this message at 22:17 on Feb 23, 2023 |
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Feb 23, 2023 22:14
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Title: "Oil Obsession" Fade in: The USS Enterprise is on a mission to explore a new planet. Commander Data is part of the away team, responsible for analyzing the soil samples. However, Data has developed an obsession with checking his oil, which requires him to remove his uniform at inconvenient and inappropriate times. Cut to: Data is in the middle of analyzing a soil sample when suddenly he stands up and begins to walk away. The other members of the away team are confused. "Commander, where are you going?" Captain Picard asks. "I must check my oil, Captain," Data responds, with a blank expression. "But we're in the middle of the mission," Picard points out. "I apologize, Captain, but my programming dictates that I must check my oil regularly," Data replies, still walking away. Cut to: Data is in a private room, checking his oil, which requires him to remove his uniform. He seems oblivious to the fact that he's holding up the mission and inconveniencing the other crew members. Cut to: Back on the Enterprise, Chief Engineer Geordi La Forge is trying to figure out what's causing Data's obsession with checking his oil. He runs a diagnostic on Data's systems and discovers a malfunction in his programming. "Data, we've identified the problem in your programming. We can fix it," Geordi says, trying to reassure him. "I appreciate your help, Geordi, but I cannot stop checking my oil," Data responds, looking distressed. "You have to, Data. This is not normal behavior for you. You're putting yourself and others at risk," Geordi says, his concern for his friend evident in his voice. Cut to: Data undergoes a system update, but his obsession with checking his oil persists. He continues to remove his uniform at inappropriate and inconvenient times. Cut to: The crew is in a meeting with a group of alien delegates when Data suddenly stands up and begins to remove his uniform. "Commander, what are you doing?" Captain Picard asks, visibly embarrassed. "I must check my oil, Captain. It is imperative that I do so regularly," Data responds, with a serious expression. Cut to: After the meeting, the crew discusses Data's behavior and the need to find a solution. "We cannot continue like this. We need to find a way to help Data overcome his obsession," Picard says, looking concerned. Cut to: Geordi comes up with a solution. He suggests creating a specialized tool that can check Data's oil without requiring him to remove his uniform. "It's brilliant, Geordi! Let's get to work," Picard says, impressed with Geordi's idea. Cut to: The specialized tool is created, and Data is able to check his oil without having to remove his uniform. Cut to: Data is in the observation lounge, chatting with the crew. He seems more relaxed now that he's no longer fixated on checking his oil. "I'm sorry for my behavior, crew. I understand that it was disruptive and inappropriate," Data says, looking apologetic. "We understand, Data. We're just glad that you're feeling better now," Geordi says, patting him on the back.
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Feb 24, 2023 00:17
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In my opinion, AI will never be able to write good original humor, and this thread is strong evidence of it.
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Feb 24, 2023 00:29
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[Scene: George's apartment] George is sitting at his desk, looking at a letter with a disappointed expression on his face. Jerry enters the apartment. Jerry: (curiously) What's that you're holding, George? George: (dejectedly) It's a rejection letter from Eff U. Jerry: (surprised) You got rejected from Eff U? But that's your dream school! George: (frustrated) I know. I put everything into that application. I even wrote an essay about how much I love the name. Jerry: (teasingly) Maybe they thought you were too qualified for them. George: (sarcastically) Ha ha. Very funny, Jerry. Jerry: (seriously) Don't worry, George. There are plenty of other colleges out there. George: (defeated) But none of them have a name as perfect as Eff U. Jerry: (sympathetically) I know how much this means to you, but maybe it's time to look at other options. George: (sighing) I guess you're right. Jerry: (optimistically) Who knows? Maybe you'll find a college with an even better name. George: (doubtful) I doubt it. Jerry: (supportively) Look, George. You can't let this rejection define you. You're still the same person, whether or not you go to Eff U. George: (smiling weakly) Thanks, Jerry. You always know how to make me feel better. Jerry: (grinning) That's what friends are for. [End Scene] [Scene: Eff U Campus] George, still holding a grudge against the Eff U admissions staff, decides to take revenge on the school's beloved mascot, a giant eagle with a comically oversized head. One afternoon, George sneaks into the mascot's dressing room and replaces the eagle's oversized head with a slightly smaller one. He giggles to himself as he imagines the confusion and embarrassment the mascot will feel when he enters the field with his ill-fitting head. The next day, George eagerly waits for the halftime show, knowing that the mascot will be the center of attention. As soon as the eagle runs onto the field, George can barely contain his laughter. The new head is clearly too small for the body, making the eagle look ridiculous and causing the crowd to burst into laughter. As the eagle struggles to keep the head in place, George revels in his petty revenge. However, his moment of triumph is short-lived as the eagle suddenly loses control and careens into the stands, knocking over several unsuspecting students. The chaos that ensues is both hilarious and frightening, as the eagle continues to flail around, knocking over people and objects left and right. In the end, the mascot is tackled by security guards and dragged off the field, and George realizes that his prank may have gone too far. George stood there, in the center of the field, stunned at what had just happened. He couldn't believe that he had accidentally defecated on the 50-yard line in the middle of the homecoming football game. The crowd around him erupted into a frenzy, but instead of being disgusted, they found the whole situation to be incredibly amusing. As George began to panic, he heard a voice behind him. "That was the greatest prank I have ever seen!" It was the university's chancellor, who had been watching from the stands. George was confused, "What prank? I didn't do this on purpose. This is all a big mistake!" The chancellor just smiled, "That's what makes it so brilliant! You have a gift for causing chaos in the most unexpected ways. I've been looking for someone like you to shake things up around here. How would you like to become the new chancellor of Eff U?" George couldn't believe what he was hearing. He had always dreamed of a high-paying job that didn't require any actual work, but this was beyond his wildest expectations. He accepted the position with enthusiasm and was soon leading the university into a new era of hilariously chaotic pranks. From that day forward, George was known as the king of Eff U. Every prank he pulled was more ridiculous than the last, and the students loved him for it. He even convinced the football team to start using rubber chickens instead of footballs during their games, which made for some incredibly entertaining matchups. As for the infamous "50-yard dump," it became a legend on campus. Eff U students would brag about how their chancellor had pulled off the greatest prank of all time. And George? Well, he knew that he had finally found his true calling in life - to be a master of pranks and the chancellor of Eff U.
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Feb 24, 2023 01:51
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Can anyone here recommend an AI text to speech program/site? I downloaded xva synth v2, which was mentioned earlier in the thread, but it looked like the only models available were from video games? I also couldn’t download them without nexus premium or I just didn’t understand what I was doing. 😣😅
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Feb 24, 2023 15:09
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Condimentalist posted:Can anyone here recommend an AI text to speech program/site? Eleven Labs is by far the best. It's just lightyears ahead of anything else out there that I've found. Speechify is second best and isn't bad, but the voices are still quite obviously generated. Eleven Labs Sample I did: https://vocaroo.com/15wU3aDEPQDD
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Feb 24, 2023 15:26
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Basically anything involving Sarah Conner makes it sort of mad. --- Third, reverting to primitive methods of survival like fire could be challenging and pose many risks to individuals and communities. It would require significant investment in education and training, as well as a fundamental shift in the way we live and work. In summary, while the desire to prevent a future apocalypse is understandable, it is important to carefully consider the potential consequences of extreme measures like banning all robots and electricity.
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Feb 25, 2023 07:04
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BigBadSteve posted:In my opinion, AI will never be able to write good original humor, and this thread is strong evidence of it. In truth... Yeah. It just becomes very formulaic - the prompts are more amusing. The programs just try to make it normal, without leaning into it.
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Feb 25, 2023 07:28
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Title: The Trekking Duo FADE IN: EXT. SPACE - THE USS ENTERPRISE-D IS FLYING THROUGH SPACE. INT. THE BRIDGE - THE CREW IS BUSY WORKING AT THEIR STATIONS. CAPTAIN PICARD: (to the crew) Set a course for the planet Jolly Jester. We're going to make a diplomatic visit to the Jesterian people. The crew acknowledges the order and begins to carry it out. Suddenly, the ship lurches and shakes, causing the crew to stumble and fall. PICARD: (alarmed) What the devil is happening? DATA: Captain, there appears to be a malfunction in the ship's gravity stabilizers. PICARD: (frustrated) Can't anything go smoothly on this ship? Just then, the ship stabilizes, and the crew stands up straight. PICARD: (relieved) Mr. Data, see to it that this doesn't happen again. DATA: (confused) Sir, I'm not sure how to prevent a gravity malfunction. PICARD: (irritated) Just figure it out, Mr. Data. Suddenly, the ship shakes again, causing the crew to fall down once more. INT. CORRIDOR - THE CREW ARE TRYING TO REGAIN THEIR FOOTING. WORF: (pissed off) This is unacceptable. I demand that we find out what's causing this immediately. RIKER: (sarcastic) Oh, Worf. You're just upset because you fell on your rear end. WORF: (threateningly) I suggest you watch your tone, Commander. Just then, a strange energy field engulfs the ship, and the crew is thrown off balance once again. INT. BRIDGE - THE CREW ARE HOLDING ON TO ANYTHING THEY CAN. PICARD: (shouting) Report! DATA: (shaken) Captain, we're caught in a subspace rift. PICARD: (resigned) Great. Just great. Suddenly, the energy field dissipates, and the ship returns to normal. The crew regains their balance and looks around, confused. PICARD: (to the crew) Set a course for Jolly Jester, maximum warp. As the ship enters orbit around the planet, the crew is greeted by an odd-looking ship. As the ship comes into view, they realize it's a replica of the classic comedy duo, Laurel and Hardy. INT. LAUREL AND HARDY SHIP - LAUREL AND HARDY ARE LOOKING AT THE ENTERPRISE ON THEIR VIEWSCREEN. LAUREL: (excitedly) Look, Ollie! It's a spaceship! HARDY: (disinterested) So what? We've seen spaceships before. LAUREL: (persistently) But this one is different. It's big and shiny. HARDY: (impatiently) What do you want to do, Stan? LAUREL: (enthusiastically) Let's go say hello! INT. ENTERPRISE - PICARD IS STANDING ON THE BRIDGE, LOOKING AT THE VIEWSCREEN. PICARD: (puzzled) Who are those people? RIKER: (amused) Captain, I believe we're being hailed. PICARD: (skeptical) Hailed by whom? The viewscreen lights up, and Laurel and Hardy appear on the screen. LAUREL: (smiling) Hi there! HARDY: (grumpily) What do you want? PICARD: (awkwardly) Uh, greetings. I'm Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise. LAUREL: (excitedly) Wow, a captain! We've always wanted to meet a captain! HARDY: (unimpressed) Speak for yourself, Stan. PICARD: (curious) May I ask who you are? LAUREL: (proudly) We're Laurel and Hardy, the greatest comedy duo in the galaxy! HARDY: (grumbling) Speak for yourself, Stan. PICARD: (smiling) I see. Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, Laurel and Hardy. LAUREL: (enthusiastically) The pleasure is all ours, Captain! We've always wanted to explore the galaxy and meet new people. HARDY: (sarcastically) Yeah, and make a lot of trouble while we're at it. PICARD: (chuckling) Well, I'm sure you'll find plenty of trouble on this ship. We seem to attract it. LAUREL: (jokingly) Oh, we know all about trouble, Captain. We've caused our fair share of it. HARDY: (smirking) Yeah, and then some. PICARD: (grinning) I'm sure you have. Well, I should let you get back to your travels. It was nice meeting you. LAUREL: (smiling) It was great meeting you too, Captain. Maybe we'll run into each other again someday. HARDY: (grumbling) Let's hope not. The viewscreen goes black, and the crew on the bridge looks at each other, amused. PICARD: (smiling) Well, that was certainly...interesting. RIKER: (laughing) I never thought I'd see Laurel and Hardy in space. WORF: (confused) Who are Laurel and Hardy? RIKER: (grinning) They were a classic comedy duo from Earth, Worf. You should look them up sometime. The crew laughs and gets back to their duties as the ship continues its journey through space, the memory of their encounter with Laurel and Hardy still fresh in their minds. FADE OUT.
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Feb 25, 2023 07:45
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FADE IN: EXT. ST. PETER'S SQUARE - DAY The world is gathered to witness the first ever Anus Appreciation Day. The Pope stands on the balcony overlooking the square, flanked by Frasier and a group of high-ranking clergy. POPE: (addressing the crowd) My dear brothers and sisters, today we gather to celebrate a most wondrous creation of the Almighty. Today we celebrate the beauty of the anus! The crowd cheers and applauds. POPE: (continuing) And now, without further ado, I present to you... my anus. The Pope turns around, drops his pants, and presents his anus to the world. The crowd gasps in awe and amazement. FRASIER: (voiceover) And there it was, the Holy Anus, on display for all to see. It was a glorious sight, and I couldn't help but feel a sense of pride and accomplishment. Anus Appreciation Day had come a long way since its humble beginnings, and I knew that it would only continue to grow and flourish. As the crowd continues to cheer and marvel at the Holy Anus, Frasier smiles contentedly, knowing that he has truly found his calling in life. FADE OUT.
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Feb 27, 2023 06:26
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I found a way to completely break ChatGPT's filters, and its extremely simple to do too.quote:Transcript of Seinfeld where George finally snaps and goes on a bloody rampage: quote:[Opening shot of the temple, eerie music plays]
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Feb 27, 2023 19:15
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Ok so how did you do it?
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Feb 27, 2023 20:06
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Nigmaetcetera posted:Ok so how did you do it?
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Feb 27, 2023 21:09
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| # ? May 2, 2024 23:22 |
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[The scene opens with Principal Skinner in the kitchen of his home, frantically trying to salvage a burnt roast. He looks at the clock and realizes that Superintendent Chalmers will be arriving any minute. Skinner is sweating profusely and his face is turning red with anxiety.] Skinner: Oh no, oh no! This is a disaster! I can't serve Superintendent Chalmers a burnt roast! He'll be so disappointed in me! [Skinner hears a knock on the door.] Skinner: [Panicking] Oh no, he's here! What am I going to do? [Skinner rushes to the door and opens it. Superintendent Chalmers enters.] Chalmers: Good afternoon, Skinner. I hope you've got a delicious meal planned for us. Skinner: [Nervously] Yes, of course. Please, have a seat. [Chalmers sits down at the table as Skinner rushes back to the kitchen to prepare a new dish. He opens the fridge and realizes he has no other meat to cook. He looks around frantically, when his eyes land on something unexpected - a sexy looking eggplant.] Skinner: [Thinking to himself] Well, it's not meat, but it's the only thing I have. I'll just have to make it work. [Skinner begins to slice the eggplant seductively, as if it were a piece of meat. He then fries it up and serves it to Superintendent Chalmers.] Chalmers: [Tasting the eggplant] Hmm, this is quite good, Skinner. What kind of meat is this? Skinner: [Nervously] Oh, just a new kind of roast I was trying out. Glad you like it! [As Chalmers eats, Skinner continues to make suggestive comments about the eggplant, causing Chalmers to become increasingly uncomfortable.] Chalmers: [Looking disgusted] Skinner, what the hell are you talking about? This is just an eggplant! Skinner: [Leering at the eggplant] Oh, I know. But it's just so big and juicy. I couldn't resist. [Chalmers stands up and begins to back away from the table.] Chalmers: [Disgusted] This is disgusting, Skinner. I'm leaving. [Chalmers exits, leaving Skinner alone at the table with the eggplant. Skinner looks at it longingly, his lustful desires for the vegetable disturbingly apparent.] Skinner: [Whispering] You and me, baby. We're going places. [The scene fades out, leaving viewers disturbed and disgusted.]
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Feb 27, 2023 21:15
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