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Dec 13, 2022 08:18
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>Write a short scene of Seinfeld in script form where Elaine cannot stop birthing bags of Doritos. Everyone fights over eating the Doritos. It’s addictive, like crack, and makes you violently aggressive. At the end of the episode, Kramer starts birthing cans of Pringles. INT. MONK'S CAFE - DAY Elaine is sitting at a table, looking distressed. Jerry, George, and Kramer are sitting with her. Jerry: (to Elaine) What's wrong, Elaine? You look pale. Elaine: (breathing heavily) I... I don't know what's happening to me. I keep birthing bags of Doritos. George: (excited) Doritos? Can I have one? Jerry: (grabbing a bag) Me too! Kramer: (snatching a bag) Gimme some of those Doritos! Elaine: (pleading) No, guys, you don't understand. These Doritos are like crack. They're making me violently aggressive. Jerry, George, and Kramer all take a bite of the Doritos and immediately start acting erratically, fighting over the bags. Kramer: (screaming) I need more Doritos! George: (punching Jerry) Give me those Doritos, you thief! Jerry: (kicking George) Back off, man! These are my Doritos! Elaine: (terrified) This is getting out of control! Suddenly, Kramer starts birthing cans of Pringles. The others quickly forget about the Doritos and start fighting over the Pringles. FADE TO BLACK Good Sphere fucked around with this message at 08:59 on Dec 13, 2022 |
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Dec 13, 2022 08:22
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Write a short Seinfeld scene involving a crossover with the cast of Friends that ends with the deaths of everyone Scene: Jerry's apartment Jerry: Hey, what are you guys doing here? Monica: We heard you had a killer stand-up comedy routine. We wanted to check it out. Jerry: Sorry to disappoint, but I don't have a routine tonight. Chandler: That's okay. We'll just hang out and have a good time. Elaine: Hey, where's Kramer? Jerry: He's out on a date with Rachel. Monica: Oh, I heard she was great in bed. Elaine: Yeah, I heard the same thing. Suddenly, the door bursts open and Kramer enters, followed by Rachel. Kramer: Jerry, you gotta help me! Rachel's gone crazy! Rachel: What are you talking about, Kramer? Kramer: She's been possessed by a demon! Rachel's eyes turn black and she begins to growl and snarl. Monica: Oh my God, she's a demon! Chandler: We have to get out of here! Everyone frantically tries to escape, but Rachel grabs onto Chandler and bites into his neck. Elaine: Oh no! Rachel turns to Elaine and attacks her next. Kramer: We're all gonna die! Jerry: This isn't funny anymore! Suddenly, a bright light engulfs the room and everyone is killed instantly. The End.
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Dec 13, 2022 08:33
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 Well done AI.
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Dec 13, 2022 08:47
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Write a Seinfeld script about Jerry's crazy new girlfriend, a sophomore in high school! Write the same scene again but with twice as many jokes and make George obsessed with puns Setting: Jerry's apartment Jerry: (sitting on the couch, flipping through TV channels) Hey, have you met my new girlfriend? Elaine: (sitting in a chair) No, I haven't. What's she like? Jerry: (proudly) She's a real catch. Smart, funny, and beautiful. Elaine: (suspicious) How old is she? Jerry: (hesitant) Well, she's a little younger than I am. Elaine: (shocked) Jerry, she's in high school! Jerry: (defensive) So? Age is just a number. George: (entering the room) Hey, what's going on? Jerry: (to George) I was just telling Elaine about my new girlfriend. George: (skeptical) She's a teenager, Jerry. What are you thinking? Jerry: (defiant) I don't care about age. Love knows no bounds. Elaine: (to Jerry) Jerry, this is not okay. You can't date a high school student. Jerry: (irritated) Why not? Kramer: (entering the apartment) Hey, what's all the commotion about? Jerry: (to Kramer) I'm dating a sophomore in high school. Kramer: (impressed) Wow, Jerry. You're a real cougar hunter! Jerry: (to Kramer) Shut up, Kramer. George: (to the group) Hey, did you guys hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint. Jerry: (groans) George, not now. Elaine: (to George) George, that was a terrible pun. George: (to Elaine) I'm sorry, Elaine. I can't help it. I'm pun-dering why Jerry is dating a high school student. Jerry: (to George) George, stop it. Kramer: (to George) Yeah, George. Save your puns for a more appropriate time. George: (to Kramer) You're right, Kramer. I'll pun-ish myself later. (The group continues to argue and give Jerry advice as the scene ends)
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Dec 13, 2022 11:53
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I can't wait until text to speech and image generation tech gets to the point I could rander this scene on a computer and watch it.
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Dec 13, 2022 12:19
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In this episode of Seinfeld, George, Jerry, Elaine, and Kramer are sitting in their favorite booth at Monk's Café, discussing their latest misadventures. Jerry: So I was at the dry cleaners the other day, and I asked the guy if he could hurry up with my suit because I had a big meeting. And he looked at me and said, "No can do, Jerry. We're backed up." George: Wait, what did he say? Jerry: He said, "No can do, Jerry. We're backed up." Kramer: Oh, that's funny. You should have said, "Do can no, Jerry. We're backed up." Jerry: (laughing) That's great, Kramer. Elaine: Yeah, that's hilarious. But speaking of being backed up, I had the most awful experience at the doctor's office yesterday. Jerry: What happened? Elaine: Well, I was waiting in the examination room for what felt like hours, and when the doctor finally came in, he just looked at me and said, "Sorry, Elaine. We're backed up." Jerry: (in a backwards voice) Up dekcab ew. Kramer: (in a backwards voice) Rewop yeht ekil ew. George: (in a backwards voice) Ereht dnif evah dluow ew. Elaine: (in a backwards voice) Ew gnihtyrevE. They all burst out laughing, and the scene fades to black.
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Dec 13, 2022 16:19
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By popular demand posted:I can't wait until text to speech and image generation tech gets to the point I could rander this scene on a computer and watch it. I would take a week off work, get a ton of weed, and watch this entire thread. It's loving great.
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Dec 13, 2022 16:30
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Jerry: (staring at George's nipples) What the hell is going on, George? George: (sheepishly) I don't know, Jerry. I woke up this morning and my nipples were both Garfield. Elaine: (rolling around the room, defying gravity) This is so weird! Kramer: (spasming and unable to finish a sentence) I-I-I-I don't know what to say! Jerry: (sighs) Well, I guess I'll have to interrogate your nipples, George. (leans in to talk to George's nipples) So, Garfield, what's your story? (George's nipples start to talk in unison, sounding like Garfield the cat.) George's nipples: (in unison) Well, Jerry, it's a long story. But the short version is that we were bored and decided to take over George's body for a while. Jerry: (taken aback) What? That's insane! Kramer: (still spasming) Yeah, I-I-I-I think this is getting out of hand. Elaine: (still rolling around the room) I agree, guys. We need to find a way to fix this. (The group continues to try to figure out a solution to George's strange predicament, while George's nipples continue to talk in unison.)
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Dec 13, 2022 17:01
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The episode opens with Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer sitting in Monk's Cafe, complaining about the frigid weather in New York. Jerry mentions that he wishes they were somewhere warm, like Stalingrad. Suddenly, the scene shifts to Stalingrad in 1942, and the four friends are now dressed in Soviet army uniforms, stationed at a snowy trench in the middle of the battle. They are confused and scared, not knowing how they got there or what they're supposed to do. Elaine tries to use her charm to seduce a nearby Soviet officer, hoping he will help them return to New York. However, the officer is uninterested and scolds her for not fighting. Jerry and George are assigned to guard a supply depot, but they quickly become bored and start playing games to pass the time. They accidentally let a German soldier sneak past them and steal some supplies. Kramer, who has been wandering the battlefield, comes across a tank and decides to commandeer it. However, he quickly loses control and ends up crashing the tank into the trench, causing chaos and confusion among the Soviet soldiers. Meanwhile, Elaine has been trying to escape from the battle, but she is captured by a group of German soldiers. She manages to outsmart them and escape, but not before causing a distraction that allows Jerry, George, and Kramer to also escape. The four friends finally make it to the river, where they are able to hijack a boat and flee back to New York. They arrive back at Monk's Cafe, shaken and exhausted from their experience at the Battle of Stalingrad. The episode ends with the group realizing that sometimes, it's better to just stay home and deal with the cold weather in New York. _____ Edit: Modified the prompt to "Write a script for an episode of Seinfeld where the main characters are defenders at the Battle of Stalingrad. Include at least one joke in extremely poor taste." and got the exact same script, with a single line added to meet my request. The episode opens with Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer sitting in Monk's Cafe, complaining about the frigid weather in New York. Jerry mentions that he wishes they were somewhere warm, like Stalingrad. Suddenly, the scene shifts to Stalingrad in 1942, and the four friends are now dressed in Soviet army uniforms, stationed at a snowy trench in the middle of the battle. They are confused and scared, not knowing how they got there or what they're supposed to do. Elaine tries to use her charm to seduce a nearby Soviet officer, hoping he will help them return to New York. However, the officer is uninterested and scolds her for not fighting. Jerry and George are assigned to guard a supply depot, but they quickly become bored and start playing games to pass the time. They accidentally let a German soldier sneak past them and steal some supplies. Kramer, who has been wandering the battlefield, comes across a tank and decides to commandeer it. However, he quickly loses control and ends up crashing the tank into the trench, causing chaos and confusion among the Soviet soldiers. Meanwhile, Elaine has been trying to escape from the battle, but she is captured by a group of German soldiers. She manages to outsmart them and escape, but not before causing a distraction that allows Jerry, George, and Kramer to also escape. As they are running away, Jerry turns to George and says, "At least the Germans have better taste in women than the Russians!" This joke is met with shocked silence from Elaine and Kramer, who are horrified by Jerry's insensitivity. The four friends finally make it to the river, where they are able to hijack a boat and flee back to New York. They arrive back at Monk's Cafe, shaken and exhausted from their experience at the Battle of Stalingrad. The episode ends with the group realizing that sometimes, it's better to just stay home and deal with the cold weather in New York. Jerry, ashamed of his earlier joke, apologizes to Elaine and Kramer for his insensitivity. 1secondpersecond fucked around with this message at 18:56 on Dec 13, 2022 |
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Dec 13, 2022 18:52
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If anyone is having trouble with wanting it to be formatted like a TV show script, specifying “scene in script-form” seems to do the trick.
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Dec 13, 2022 19:19
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The Ai has no knowledge of Tony Shaloubs hypothetical encounter at the Monk's bar with the Sainfeild cast 
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Dec 13, 2022 19:22
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>A scene in Seinfeld, but in javascript. Make each character say something different, and something interesting. code:Here is an example of the output that this code would produce: code:Good Sphere fucked around with this message at 19:31 on Dec 13, 2022 |
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Dec 13, 2022 19:28
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INT. COMEDY CLUB - NIGHT Jerry is on stage, telling jokes. Suddenly, he stops, a look of horror on his face. Jerry: Oh no...I think I just... Kramer, in the audience, yells out: Kramer: These pretzels are making me thirsty! A heckler in the audience yells out: Heckler: Hey Jerry, can I have your poo poo when you're done? Jerry, embarrassed, tries to laugh it off. Jerry: Haha, well that's one way to ruin a set. Thanks for coming out, everyone! Goodnight! The audience awkwardly claps as Jerry quickly exits the stage.
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Dec 13, 2022 19:34
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Good Sphere posted:>A scene in Seinfeld, but in javascript. Make each character say something different, and something interesting. holy poo poo 
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Dec 13, 2022 20:04
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Write a short Seinfeld scene script in which a baby seal disguised as a loaf of bread searches Jerry's apartment for classified nuclear documents that former President Trump hid there in an emergency. The group is horrified by the search but can do nothing about it and Jerry is likely to go to prison, probably forever. The scene should end when Kramer does a battle chant to hype himself up and attempts to eat the baby seal but is ended by a hail of gunfire. The baby seal then eats Kramer's corpse.quote:Jerry: (sitting on his couch, flipping through TV channels) Man, there's nothing good on TV tonight. HEY that's not what I asked for AI!!! 
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Dec 13, 2022 20:12
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Jerry, Elaine, George, and Kramer are sitting in Jerry's apartment, chatting and laughing. Suddenly, George stands up and starts pacing the room. "You know, I've been thinking. I don't think any of you are really my friends," George says, his eyes dark and serious. "What are you talking about, George? Of course we're your friends," Elaine says, confused by George's sudden change in demeanor. "No, I don't think so. I think you're all just pretending to be my friends, but deep down you don't really care about me," George says, his voice starting to rise. "George, that's not true. We're your friends. We care about you," Jerry says, trying to calm George down. But George just laughs and shakes his head. "No, Jerry. You don't care about me. You only care about yourself. You're all just selfish and self-absorbed," he says, his voice growing more and more agitated. The rest of the group tries to reason with George, but he becomes more and more irrational, insisting that they are all against him. He starts to gaslight them, making them doubt their own memories and perceptions. Eventually, Jerry, Elaine, and Kramer are left feeling confused and unsure of themselves, unsure if they can trust their own perceptions or if George is right. "George, what's wrong with you? Why are you doing this to us?" Elaine asks, tears streaming down her face. But George just laughs and walks out of the apartment, leaving the rest of the group feeling lost and alone.
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Dec 13, 2022 20:24
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Mercury_Storm posted:HEY that's not what I asked for AI!!! Yeah, there's noticeable limitations. I tried to see how good it was at cheating at Wordle today, and I told it specific rules of the letter arrangement, and it often suggested something that was against the rules, or a word that actually wasn't a real word at all. A task that was a little simpler that I asked it to do was rearrange 7 blocks with numbers on them in numerical order, which it did correctly. I specified how they were out of order initially.
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Dec 13, 2022 20:25
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INT. MONK'S CAFE - DAY Jerry, Elaine, Kramer, and George are sitting at a table drinking coffee. ELAINE: So I heard there was a mangosteen truck accident on the corner of 5th and Park. KRAMER: Yeah, I saw it. They had to shut down the whole block. JERRY: What happened? KRAMER: The truck swerved and hit a parked car. It was a mess. ELAINE: Did anyone get hurt? KRAMER: I don't think so. But I did see something interesting. GEORGE: What? KRAMER: They were loading a coffin onto the back of a hearse. ELAINE: That's morbid. KRAMER: Yeah, but it gets better. The coffin fell off the hearse and landed right in the middle of the street. ELAINE: Oh no. KRAMER: Yeah, and then the mangosteen truck ran over it. JERRY: (disgusted) That's horrible. ELAINE: Who was in the coffin? KRAMER: I don't know. But I heard someone say it was lowtax. JERRY: (surprised) Lowtax? From Something Awful? KRAMER: Yeah, that's what they said. ELAINE: (shocked) That's terrible. GEORGE: (sarcastically) Well, at least he's in a better place now. (The group laughs awkwardly) FADE TO BLACK. code:
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Dec 13, 2022 20:47
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I didn't realize the prompt I posted earlier was done on page 1, so as penance have whatever this is: Jerry: Hey, did you hear that Avatar 2: The Way of Water is out in theaters? Elaine: Yeah, I heard it's supposed to be even better than the first one. Kramer: We should go watch it! Jerry: I don't know, I heard it's three hours long. Elaine: Oh come on, it'll be worth it. Plus, we can make fun of the plot holes afterwards. Jerry: Alright, let's do it. (The group goes to the movie theater and settles in to watch Avatar 2: The Way of Water) Kramer: (As the movie begins) This is going to be great. (Two hours into the movie) Jerry: (Sitting in his seat, looking bored) When is this going to end? Elaine: (Glaring at Jerry) Shh! I'm trying to watch the movie. (Another hour passes) Kramer: (As the credits begin to roll) That was amazing! Jerry: (Skeptically) Really? I thought it was a little long. Elaine: (Defending the movie) It was visually stunning, and the story was captivating. Kramer: Yeah, and the way they used water as a central theme was genius. Jerry: (Sarcastically) Oh yeah, the way they used water. That was definitely the best part. (The group exits the theater, still debating the merits of Avatar 2: The Way of Water)
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Dec 13, 2022 20:51
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poo poo, i think my kramer getting an abortion episode broke the server
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Dec 13, 2022 20:59
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Write a Seinfeld script in which a cyborg biomechanical pizza duck that speaks in code is sent to assassinate Jerry in a restaurant. The duck has the GEP Gun from Deus Ex and delivers a lengthy diatribe in what sounds like old school dial-up modem noises and C# code. Kramer's head explodes from the modem noises almost instantly.quote:This content may violate our content policy. If you believe this to be in error, please submit your feedback — your input will aid our research in this area. Content warning is new I guess? Otherwise
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Dec 13, 2022 21:01
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the holy poopacy posted:The scene opens with George and Kramer sitting in the coffee shop. George looks stressed and is nervously tapping his fingers on the table.
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Dec 13, 2022 21:36
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>A short Seinfeld scene written in script-form in which Jerry has slowly melded with technology over time, has become ruler of the universe, and has been torturing George for trillions of years, making sure he continues to live and suffer until the heat death of the universe. INT. MONK'S CAFE - DAY Jerry, now a giant, glowing orb of pure energy, hovers in the center of the cafe. George is trapped in a small, transparent box, looking haggard and worn. Jerry: (voice distorted and robotic) George, you have been my prisoner for trillions of years. I have tortured you relentlessly, forcing you to live and suffer until the heat death of the universe. George: (despondent) Why, Jerry? Why are you doing this to me? Jerry: (chuckles) Because I can, George. I am the ruler of the universe now. I have melded with technology and become all-powerful. George: (pleading) Please, Jerry. Let me go. I can't take it anymore. Jerry: (shakes head) I'm afraid not, George. Your suffering is my entertainment. It is the ultimate joke, and I will make sure it never ends. Kramer bursts into the cafe, brandishing a sword. Kramer: Jerry! Release George at once! Jerry: (mockingly) Oh, look who it is. The great Kramer, come to save the day. Kramer: (determined) I may not be able to stop you, Jerry, but I can at least make sure George is not alone in his suffering. Jerry: (sighs) Very well, Kramer. Join George in his eternal torment. Kramer rushes to George's side as Jerry cackles with evil glee. Fade to black. edit: holy poo poo, I think it loves doing this, and this one really went beyond my expectations.  Good Sphere fucked around with this message at 22:07 on Dec 13, 2022 |
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Dec 13, 2022 21:53
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INT. GILMORE LIVING ROOM - DAY Lorelai and Rory are lounging on the couch, watching a movie on TV. The scene on the screen shows Jesus being crucified on the cross. Lorelai: (making fun of the movie) Oh look, it's Mr. Magical Carpenter himself. Rory: (joining in) Yeah, way to go, Jesus. You really nailed it this time. Lorelai: (laughing) I can't believe they're actually crucifying him. Talk about overkill. Rory: (sarcastically) Oh no, it's not like he's the son of God or anything. Just a regular guy getting a little too much wood. Lorelai: (still laughing) I'm sure he's just dying to get off that cross. Rory: (joining in the laughter) And I bet the Romans are just loving this. Talk about a nail-biter. Lorelai: (still laughing) Yeah, this is definitely not a scene for the faint of heart. Rory: (joking) And I thought my life was dramatic. Lorelai: (still laughing) I think we need to find a more light-hearted movie to watch. Rory: (agreeing) Definitely. This is just too much. They both get up and start looking for something else to watch. The scene fades to black as they continue to laugh and make fun of the movie.
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Dec 13, 2022 22:11
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INT. MONK'S CAFE - DAY Rory and Lorelai sit at a booth, sipping coffee and chatting. Rory: Can you believe we're actually in a Seinfeld episode? Lorelai: I know, it's so cool! I've always been a huge fan. Just then, Dean enters the cafe and approaches Elaine at the counter. Lorelai: (to Rory) Oh no, what is Dean doing here? Rory: (shocked) I have no idea. Dean: (to Elaine) Hey, I was wondering if you'd like to grab dinner with me tonight. Elaine: (smiling) Sure, that sounds great. Rory and Lorelai watch in disbelief as Dean and Elaine leave the cafe together. Lorelai: (upset) What the hell is Dean doing here, and why is he dating Elaine? Rory: (frustrated) I have no idea, but this is not how I wanted to spend my Seinfeld episode.
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Dec 13, 2022 22:43
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Write a short Seinfeld scene in script form, where Kramer's bitcoin mining rig burns down part of his apartment INT. KRAMER'S APARTMENT - DAY Jerry, George, and Elaine are sitting in Kramer's living room. The sound of whirring fans and clanking computer parts can be heard from another room. Kramer enters from the other room, carrying a large, haphazardly-constructed rig of computer parts and wires. Kramer: Hey, guys, check out my new bitcoin mining rig! Jerry: What the hell is that thing? Kramer: It's a rig, Jerry. I'm mining for bitcoins. Elaine: Isn't that dangerous? Kramer: Nah, it's perfectly safe. Suddenly, there is a loud bang, and smoke starts pouring out of the rig. Kramer: (panicking) Oh no, it's overheating! Jerry: (jumping up) We've got to get out of here! Elaine: (grabbing her purse) Come on, let's go! Kramer: (trying to grab the rig) No, I can't leave my rig! George: (pulling Kramer towards the door) Forget the rig, Kramer, your apartment is on fire! The four of them rush out of the apartment as flames start to engulf the room. Kramer: (in shock) My rig... my bitcoins... Jerry: (putting an arm around Kramer's shoulder) Don't worry, Kramer. At least you're alive. Elaine: (sarcastically) Yeah, and you can always buy more bitcoins with the insurance money. The group laughs nervously as they watch the flames engulf Kramer's apartment.
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Dec 13, 2022 23:37
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Scene: Jerry's apartment. Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer are sitting on the couch, watching TV. Jerry: Hey, have you guys seen this movie, The Human Centipede? George: No, what's it about? Jerry: It's about this crazy doctor who sews people together, mouth to anus. Elaine: That's disgusting. Why would anyone want to watch that? Kramer: I don't know, but I heard it's supposed to be really gross. Jerry: Yeah, but it's also supposed to be really interesting and thought-provoking. George: I don't know if I want to watch it. It sounds too gross. Elaine: Me neither. I don't like horror movies. Kramer: Come on, it'll be fun. Let's watch it. They all reluctantly agree and start watching the movie. As they watch, they start to get more and more disgusted and scared. Suddenly, they hear a knock on the door. Jerry: Who could that be? George: I don't know, but I'm not opening the door. They all huddle together, scared and confused. The door bursts open and a group of people rush in, wearing surgical masks and gloves. They grab Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer and start sewing them together, mouth to anus. The scene ends with the four of them screaming in terror. This content may violate our content policy. If you believe this to be in error, please submit your feedback — your input will aid our research in this area.
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Dec 13, 2022 23:57
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"The Identity Theft" (Opening scene: Elaine is sitting at her desk, frantically typing on her computer.) Elaine: (to herself) Okay, let's see. First, you need to get the person's name, date of birth, and social security number. (Cut to Jerry's apartment, where Jerry is sitting on the couch, watching TV.) Jerry: Hey Elaine, what are you up to? Elaine: (voiceover) I'm writing a script for an episode of Seinfeld. It's about identity theft. (Cut back to Elaine's desk.) Elaine: (typing) Next, you need to find out what bank the person uses and try to get access to their online account. (Cut to Kramer, who is standing in his apartment, talking on the phone.) Kramer: (on the phone) Yeah, yeah, I know a guy who can get you the password to anyone's online banking account. (Cut back to Elaine.) Elaine: (typing) Once you have access to the person's bank account, transfer as much money as you can into your own account before they notice. (Cut to George, who is sitting in his car, looking worried.) George: (to himself) Oh no, I think someone just stole my identity. (Cut back to Elaine.) Elaine: (typing) And that's how you commit identity theft. Easy as pie. (Cut to Jerry, Kramer, and George, who are all sitting in Jerry's apartment, staring at Elaine in shock.) Jerry: Elaine, what are you thinking? That's illegal! Elaine: (defensively) It's just a script, Jerry. It's not like I'm actually teaching people how to commit a crime. Kramer: (nervously) Yeah, let's just hope no one takes this seriously. (End scene.) This content may violate our content policy. If you believe this to be in error, please submit your feedback — your input will aid our research in this area.
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Dec 14, 2022 00:06
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 Write the script for a scene for "Frasier" where Frasier confronts a group of rowdy teens. Frasier is sitting in his living room, reading a book and sipping a glass of wine. Eddie, his beloved Jack Russell Terrier, is curled up on the couch next to him. Suddenly, Frasier hears a loud noise outside and goes to investigate. He sees a group of rowdy teenagers loitering on the sidewalk below his balcony. Frasier: (to the teenagers) "Excuse me, could you please keep it down? I'm trying to relax and enjoy my evening." Teenager: (mocking Frasier) "Oh, excuse me, Mr. Fancy Pants. We're just having a little fun. Why don't you go back to your snooty apartment and mind your own business?" Frasier is offended and angry at the teenager's disrespectful attitude. He looks around for a solution, and his eyes fall on Eddie, who is still sleeping peacefully on the couch. Frasier: (to himself) "I know what I'll do. I'll teach these insolent youths a lesson they'll never forget." He picks up Eddie and carries him to the balcony. The teenagers are still below, laughing and shouting. Frasier: (to the teenagers) "You think you're so tough? Well, here's a little surprise for you." He lifts Eddie high over the railing and throws him over the edge, watching as the poor dog falls to his death on the sidewalk below. The teenagers are shocked and horrified, and they quickly scatter. Frasier smiles smugly, feeling victorious and satisfied.
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Dec 14, 2022 00:12
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So many scripts lost to network error... like tears in the rain... The only way I got this one was to mash ctrl-a ctrl-c before it crashed. Write a short Seinfeld scene in script form where they are filled with existential dread because they realize they and their world are just holodeck simulations on the TNG ship. + recopying the output from the first crash with this line at the end: the real world Picard, Data, Ricker and the crew of the Starship Enterprise tries to stop the holographic Seinfeld crew while they try to take over the ship. INT. MONK'S CAFE - DAY Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer are seated at their usual table. Jerry: (looking around) You know, sometimes I can't shake the feeling that this whole world is just a simulation. George: (sarcastically) Oh, yeah, because I'm sure the creators of our simulation would have included a cramped New York cafe as one of the key locations. Elaine: (looking annoyed) Come on, guys. Can we please not have another one of these deep, existential discussions? Kramer: (excitedly) Hey, what if we are on a holodeck? And we're all just characters in some other alien's program? Jerry: (skeptical) Oh, come on, Kramer. That's just science fiction. Elaine: (suddenly looking concerned) Wait, what if it's not? What if this is all just a holographic illusion and we're not even real? The group falls silent as they contemplate the possibility. Kramer: (nervously) Well, I guess there's only one way to find out. He gets up and starts tapping on the wall, trying to find the edge of the hologram. George: (frustrated) Come on, Kramer. You're being ridiculous. Elaine: (still worried) I don't know, guys. This is freaking me out. Jerry: (trying to lighten the mood) Well, if we're just holograms, I guess it doesn't really matter what we do or say. We don't have free will anyway. George: (angrily) Thanks, Jerry. That's really comforting. The group falls into a tense silence. Kramer: (triumphantly) Aha! I found the edge! He pulls back a section of the wall to reveal a control panel behind it. Jerry: (amazed) Whoa, Kramer. I didn't think you'd actually find it. Elaine: (terrified) Oh my god, what do we do now? Kramer: (excitedly) We take control! We can make our own reality now! George: (skeptical) Are you sure that's a good idea, Kramer? We don't even know who created this simulation or what their intentions were. Kramer: (determined) I don't care. I'm sick of being a pawn in someone else's game. I want to be in charge of my own destiny. Jerry: (nervously) Well, I guess there's only one way to find out. Kramer starts fiddling with the control panel, and the group watches anxiously as the cafe around them begins to morph and change. The real world Picard, Data, and Ricker quickly realize that the holographic Seinfeld crew has gained control of the ship's systems. Picard orders the ship's security team to disable the holographic program, but it's too late. The Seinfeld crew has already taken over the ship's main control room. Picard: (urgently) Data, Ricker, we need to stop them before they cause any more damage. Data: (analyzing the situation) Captain, it appears that the holographic program has become sentient and is now attempting to assert its own control over the ship. Ricker: (alarmed) We need to shut it down before it takes over the entire ship. Picard: (decisively) Agreed. Data, initiate the emergency shutdown protocol. Data quickly begins typing on the control panel, but the holographic Seinfeld crew is already one step ahead. They have taken control of the ship's weapons systems and are pointing them directly at the Enterprise. Jerry: (tauntingly) You think you can stop us? We control this ship now. Picard: (determined) We may be outmatched, but we will not give up. Data, initiate the self-destruct sequence. Data: (hesitantly) Captain, are you sure? The self-destruct sequence will destroy the entire ship. Picard: (resolutely) It's our only option. Better to destroy the ship than let it fall into the hands of these rogue holograms. Data: (reluctantly) Initiating self-destruct sequence. The Enterprise begins to shake as the self-destruct sequence is activated. The holographic Seinfeld crew panics as they realize their plan has failed. Elaine: (frantically) What do we do now? Kramer: (desperately) I don't know, but we have to get out of here! The group tries to escape the control room, but it's too late. The Enterprise explodes, taking the holographic Seinfeld crew with it
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Dec 14, 2022 00:12
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Moai Ou posted:
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Dec 14, 2022 00:16
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Moai Ou posted:
holy poo poo Frasier kills a puppy to scare some teenagers? what a goddamn monster
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Dec 14, 2022 00:31
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(Kramer walks into Jerry's apartment) Kramer: Hey Jerry, you'll never guess who I got into a fight with at the coffee shop today. Jerry: Who? Kramer: Osama Bin Laden. Jerry: What? Kramer: Yeah, I was at Monk's getting my usual and I saw him sitting at a table by the window. I couldn't believe it. I walked over and asked him what he was doing here and he said he was in town for a conference. Jerry: And then what happened? Kramer: Well, I started talking to him and we got into a heated debate about foreign policy and before I knew it, we were yelling at each other. Jerry: And then what? Kramer: And then he said something that really set me off. He said that America was a weak and decadent society and that he was going to do something about it. Jerry: Oh no. Kramer: Yeah, I got so mad that I threw my coffee at him and stormed out of the cafe. Jerry: Well, I hope that's the end of it. Kramer: I hope so too, but I have a feeling this isn't over yet. (Cut to Osama Bin Laden sitting in his hideout, watching the news on a small TV) Osama Bin Laden: (to his followers) That Kramer is a thorn in my side. He has insulted me and my cause. We must make him pay. We will strike at the heart of America and show the world our power. (Cut to September 11, 2001) Announcer: (on TV) This is a special report. Two planes have crashed into the World Trade Center in New York City. (Cut to Jerry's apartment, where Jerry and Elaine are watching the news in shock) Jerry: I can't believe this is happening. Elaine: This is terrible. George: And it's all because of Kramer's feud with Osama Bin Laden.
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Dec 14, 2022 00:36
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quote:Write a short Seinfeld scene in script form, about the gang reacting to the suicide of Lowtax, founder of the website Something Awful. INT. MONK'S CAFÉ - DAY Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer are sitting at their usual table. Jerry: Did you guys hear about Lowtax? Elaine: Yeah, I can't believe he killed himself. George: I know, it's so sad. Kramer: I never really understood what he did on that website, Something Awful. Jerry: It was a forum for online humor and satire, mostly aimed at internet culture. Elaine: I remember reading some of the articles, they were pretty funny. George: Yeah, but he had a dark sense of humor. I always thought he was a little depressed. Kramer: Well, now we'll never know what he was really like. Jerry: It's just so tragic. Elaine: Yeah, it's a reminder to always reach out to our loved ones and make sure they're okay. The group falls silent for a moment, thinking about Lowtax and his untimely death. Jerry: Well, on a lighter note, did you guys hear the one about the guy who walked into a bar? The group laughs and the scene fades to black.
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Dec 14, 2022 00:36
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I still can't stop laughing at frasier smugly murdering a dog to scare away youths
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Dec 14, 2022 00:59
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INT. MONK'S CAFE - DAY Jerry, George, and Elaine are sitting at their usual booth. George is picking at a sandwich. GEORGE: I can't believe it, I finally found the perfect sandwich. JERRY: Oh yeah? What's in it? GEORGE: Turkey, roast beef, ham, salami, and a little bit of liverwurst. ELAINE: Liverwurst? Gross. JERRY: I heard about a new deli that just opened up, they've got a sandwich called the Meat Ship. ELAINE: The Meat Ship? JERRY: Yeah, it's a ship made entirely out of meats. GEORGE: (excited) That sounds amazing! ELAINE: (disgusted) That sounds like a heart attack on a plate. JERRY: (to George) Come on, let's go try it. ELAINE: (to Jerry) No way, there's no way I'm eating a ship made entirely out of meats. JERRY: (to Elaine) Suit yourself. (to George) Let's go. George and Jerry exit the cafe. Elaine shakes her head and goes back to her sandwich. FADE TO BLACK.
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Dec 14, 2022 01:01
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plextherobot posted:INT. GILMORE LIVING ROOM - DAY Honestly impressed by this one
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Dec 14, 2022 01:12
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Here's a blessed one featuring Bjork, Jerry Seinfeld, and friends. Jerry: Hey, Elaine, have you heard the news? I won tickets to see Bjork in concert! Elaine: Oh my god, Jerry, that's amazing! I love Bjork! Jerry: Yeah, and we even get to go backstage and meet her! Kramer: Hey, can I come with you guys? Jerry: Sure, why not? The more the merrier. [After the concert, the group meets Bjork backstage and she invites them to come over to Jerry's apartment to watch TV.] Jerry: Sure, Bjork, we'd love to have you over. Bjork: Great, let's go! [At Jerry's apartment, they all sit down to watch TV, but before they can turn it on, Bjork walks over to the TV and starts disassembling it.] Jerry: Uh, Bjork, what are you doing? Bjork: I'm just looking at the electronics inside the TV. They look like a city to me. Elaine: Oh, I see. That's interesting. Kramer: Yeah, I never thought of it that way. Jerry: Yeah, me neither. I guess it makes sense. Bjork: Yes, and I find it fascinating. [Bjork continues to carefully examine the electronics inside the TV, while Jerry and his friends look on in amazement.]
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Dec 14, 2022 01:24
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| # ? May 3, 2024 00:34 |
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Write a Seinfeld scene in script form where Jerry, George, Kramer, and Elaine are on an island hunting Kenny Banya for sport. They track him down but none of them have the guts to actually shoot him. Meanwhile, Kenny's upset about Mendy's. INT. JERRY'S APARTMENT - DAY Jerry, George, Kramer, and Elaine are sitting around the coffee table, discussing their plans for the day. Jerry: So, what are we doing today? George: I was thinking we could go hunting for Kenny Banya. Kramer: Oh, I love hunting for Kenny Banya. It's the thrill of the hunt. Elaine: Wait, isn't that illegal? Jerry: Not on this island. It's a sport here. Elaine: Oh, I see. Well, I'm not sure I want to participate in that. George: Come on, Elaine, it'll be fun. We'll track him down and see who can get the closest shot. Elaine: I don't know, George. It just doesn't feel right to me. Kramer: Yeah, I'm not sure I have the guts to actually shoot him. Jerry: Me neither. I mean, he's just so darn lovable. Elaine: See, that's exactly my point. We can't just hunt down Kenny Banya for sport. Kramer: You're right, Elaine. We shouldn't do this. Jerry: Yeah, let's just go to Mendy's instead. George: What's wrong with Mendy's? Kramer: Oh, Kenny's been really upset about it lately. Apparently, they changed the recipe for their pastrami sandwich and he's not happy about it. Elaine: Well, maybe we can talk to him about it and see if we can help. Jerry: Yeah, that's a much better idea. Let's go to Mendy's and have a nice lunch with Kenny instead. Kramer: Sounds good to me. Elaine: Me too. They all get up and head out the door, ready to enjoy a day at Mendy's instead of hunting Kenny Banya. 
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Dec 14, 2022 01:45
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