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All You Can Eat
Aug 27, 2004

Abundance is the dullest desire.
Dear Administrator,

I would like to express my utmost gratitude to you and the entire team at NASA for the incredible effort that went into rescuing me from Mars. The journey was long and difficult, but I am forever grateful for your unwavering support and your commitment to bringing me home safely.

Furthermore, the reception you held in honor of my return was truly special. It was a wonderful opportunity to meet the incredible people who worked tirelessly to bring me home. I appreciate the time and effort you put into organizing such a wonderful event. It was a night I will never forget.

However, I must raise a matter that has been weighing on my mind since the reception. I cannot believe that you would serve potatoes at such an important event. After everything I went through on Mars, surviving on nothing but potatoes, you thought it would be appropriate to serve them at the reception? Are you kidding me?

I cannot express in words the level of disgust and disappointment I felt when I saw those wretched potatoes on my plate. I had hoped to put the experience of Mars behind me and move on with my life, but it seems that the memories of those days will never truly leave me.

I understand that potatoes are a popular food item and that they are considered a staple in many cultures. But I simply cannot fathom why you would serve them at a reception celebrating my return from Mars. It is a cruel and insensitive move, and I cannot forgive you for it.

In conclusion, I would like to once again express my gratitude for your efforts in rescuing me from Mars. However, I must also express my profound disappointment at the decision to serve potatoes at the reception. I hope that in the future, you will consider the sensitivities of those who have been through traumatic experiences, and refrain from serving any food that might cause unnecessary distress.

Sincerely,

Mark Watney



Write a letter from Mark Watney (the protagonist from the book "The Martian") to the administrator of NASA. The first half of the letter is cordial and professional, thanking him for rescuing him from being stranded on Mars and for the wonderful ceremony afterward. The second half of the letter descends into expletive ridden rage at the fact that potatoes were served at the reception after the ceremony.

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