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PokeJoe
Aug 24, 2004

hail cgatan


Theres gotta be some cool poo poo out there that exists and they don't want us to know about. Of course we all know about the UAPs and and the tic-tacs but what else is out there? Here's a few guesses of mine

1.) Superfast Submarines

The commies made torpedos back in the day that essentially flew underwater by spraying some gas out the front. They could nearly hit 300mph down there. Can this tech be scaled up to fit people inside? The torpedo has been operational since 1977, that's a long time to scale the stuff up. We detect underwater UAPs too and I wouldn't be surprised if a bunch of them were manmade.



https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/VA-111_Shkval

2.) Weaponized sattelites

This one seems obvious. Stealth satellites exist and the old rear end spy ones are better than the new NASA ones. I *think* they're banned by some treaty but lol at any nation caring about that. What are the odds we have a real nukes from god up there as a doomsday weapon?


3.) Nuclear armed flying drones
The russians have that underwater nuke drone. We used to fly bombers around constantly armed w nukes to scare off the soviets, I'm certain we have a drone version that does the exact same sort of thing. Hell they might be able to make an electric one with an indefinite solar flight time :tinfoil:

What else you got? Give me your crackpot theories.

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BIG-DICK-BUTT-FUCK
Jan 26, 2016

by Fluffdaddy
Space age alien weed that makes you better

blatman
May 10, 2009

14 inc dont mez


i think theres top secret projects with zero accountability that exist solely so that the people involved can do nothing all day and get paid for it

Buck Turgidson
Feb 6, 2011

𓀬𓀠𓀟𓀡𓀢𓀣𓀤𓀥𓀞𓀬

PokeJoe posted:


2.) Weaponized sattelites

This one seems obvious. Stealth satellites exist and the old rear end spy ones are better than the new NASA ones. I *think* they're banned by some treaty but lol at any nation caring about that. What are the odds we have a real nukes from god up there as a doomsday weapon?


Orbital buttplugs that can plug an rear end anywhere on the planet. Keep your brown eye on the sky.

Cloks
Feb 1, 2013

by Azathoth
a nice South African

Buck Turgidson
Feb 6, 2011

𓀬𓀠𓀟𓀡𓀢𓀣𓀤𓀥𓀞𓀬
A funny trump thread

Fat-Lip-Sum-41.mp3
Nov 15, 2003
satellite imagery that can look at boobs on any beach on earth as seen in under siege 2: dark territory

Spergin Morlock
Aug 8, 2009
Probation
Can't post for 3 hours!
I occasionally wonder if the reason the Zumwalt generates so much power is that they're already fielding a laser powerful enough to shoot down missile swarms, or a railgun

Justin Tyme
Feb 22, 2011


Spergin Morlock posted:

I occasionally wonder if the reason the Zumwalt generates so much power is that they're already fielding a laser powerful enough to shoot down missile swarms, or a railgun

Other way around, it exists in anticipation of the navy's railgun maturing to a stage where it can be fielded, but that's a boondoggle rivaling the F-35 which melts the rails after like five shots rendering the whole rapid-fire/cheap ammo thing moot. Point-defense lasers though are almost ready to be fielded in like an anti-drone/anti-mortar role and the Army's next wheeled anti-aircraft vehicle supposedly is going to be laser-based last I read.

I like to think there's some real crazy black projects out there but if you look at everything that either was purposefully or unintentionally declassified recently it's all stuff that's not really all that incredible, like the drone Iran shot down which was just a stealth blended wing aircraft iirc and the stealth blackhawks in the Bin Laden raid (which isn't that big of a reveal given the Commanche project was canned in the 2000's)

dew worm
Apr 20, 2019

I predict in the coming years the United States government will announce it has discovered a breakthrough in fusion energy

Fat-Lip-Sum-41.mp3
Nov 15, 2003

dew worm posted:

I predict in the coming years the Chinese government will announce it has discovered a breakthrough in fusion energy

Animal-Mother
Feb 14, 2012

RABBIT RABBIT
RABBIT RABBIT
Bagels that are already sliced all the way through.

blatman
May 10, 2009

14 inc dont mez



i think america will announce it but china will actually have it

Honky Mao
Dec 26, 2012

Sentient vat of cum that decides all election results

Ringo Roadagain
Mar 27, 2010

mels hole is real and there are other hole like it all across the world.

a few DRUNK BONERS
Mar 25, 2016

A robotic president for when the dotard isn't feeling up for the big speech.

Fat-Lip-Sum-41.mp3
Nov 15, 2003

blatman posted:

i think america will announce it but china will actually have it

if america was serious about zero emission energy we would be building PWRs. we don't want them. we don't want fusion power either.

china has to build nuclear plants and develop fusion because their plan is to develop not only themselves but other nations, like in africa, which is impossible using fossil fuels

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

OFFICIAL #1 GNOME FAN
the cia has probably spent billions trying to find the brown note

E Depois do Adeus
Jun 3, 2012


Nobody has better respect for intelligence than Donald Trump.

a post so bad that if u see it u become a school shooter

Honky Mao
Dec 26, 2012

Beeftweeter posted:

the cia has probably spent billions trying to find the brown note

Also psychic abilities . The lsd worked

Filthy Hans
Jun 27, 2008

by Fluffdaddy

(and can't post for 10 years!)

SorePotato posted:

Also psychic abilities . The lsd worked

The Men Who Stare At Goatse

Dr Pepper
Feb 4, 2012

Don't like it? well...

The Piss Tape

Gunshow Poophole
Sep 14, 2008

OMBUDSMAN
POSTERS LOCAL 42069




Clapping Larry

Dr Pepper posted:

The Piss Tape

this one for sure

Ansar Santa
Jul 12, 2012

boneless chickens

PokeJoe
Aug 24, 2004

hail cgatan


Dr Pepper posted:

The Piss Tape

Absolutely

Beeftweeter
Jun 28, 2005

OFFICIAL #1 GNOME FAN
havana syndrome

havana good time

mawarannahr
May 21, 2019

the G-13 secret

Gravid Topiary
Feb 16, 2012

4.) a crewed and stealthed space-station, orbiting the earth

could have something to do with that weird unmanned space place the navy releases terse announcement about ever year or two. at the very least you know the US has got SEALS living in a tin can wired on amphetamines 24/7 up there just in case

Gravid Topiary has issued a correction as of 05:59 on Dec 18, 2022

Zeroisanumber
Oct 23, 2010

Nap Ghost
A laser beam that instead of hurting you it purges you of all of your anxiety and negativity and makes you a better, happier person.

Filthy Hans
Jun 27, 2008

by Fluffdaddy

(and can't post for 10 years!)

Zeroisanumber posted:

A laser beam that instead of hurting you it purges you of all of your anxiety and negativity and makes you a better, happier person.

sure, a laser lobotomy sounds feasible

Mr Hootington
Jul 24, 2008
Probation
Can't post for 3 hours!
The female orgasm

Cerebral Bore
Apr 21, 2010


Fun Shoe
secret international agency tasked with covering up the evidence of the finno-korean hyperwar

Trixie Hardcore
Jul 1, 2006

Placeholder.
Underwater lab but everyone died so they just left them there.

Trixie Hardcore
Jul 1, 2006

Placeholder.

a few DRUNK BONERS posted:

A robotic president for when the dotard isn't feeling up for the big speech.

I believe this but it’s an audio animatronic they secretly commissioned from Disney in the 60s and it can only move its arms at the elbows and they haven’t updated its face since Reagan.

MLSM
Apr 3, 2021

by Azathoth
The point of CBDCs is total social control

Honky Mao
Dec 26, 2012

Covid 2

Animal-Mother
Feb 14, 2012

RABBIT RABBIT
RABBIT RABBIT
white guys who can dunk

animist
Aug 28, 2018
hidden room full of vials of Elon Musk and Peter Thiel's genetic material in that arctic seed vault

DoubleDonut
Oct 22, 2010


Fallen Rib

Beeftweeter posted:

the cia has probably spent billions trying to find the clitoris

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DickParasite
Dec 2, 2004


Slippery Tilde

Trixie Hardcore posted:

Underwater lab but everyone died so they just left them there.

This guy did it

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