Week 16 News/Views: The Las Vegas Lateral Is the Greatest Gift

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > Week 16 News/Views: The Las Vegas Lateral Is the Greatest Gift

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SKULL.GIF: Jan 20, 2017

Jets were 7-4, Dolphins were 8-3. Both have lost four straight. Titans were 7-3 and have lost 5 straight.

Packers were 4-8, Jaguars were 4-8. Both have won three straight. Lions were 1-6, won 6 of 7, then dropped one.

Wild mid-season turnarounds.

# ? Dec 25, 2022 22:35

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# ? May 9, 2024 07:24

Ornery and Hornery: Oct 22, 2020

SKULL.GIF posted:

A video on why the Fangio defense isn't working for teams trying to run it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7quyQ-N_cYM

Basically, 2-high was meant for Mahomes and Allen, not every other offense. Also, nowadays even Mahomes/Allen are taking advantage of what the defense is giving them. The defensive coordinators trying to mimick the Fangio defense aren't adjusting, opting to instead blindly copy it and apply it to all situations, so they're getting blown out repeatedly.

thank you for sharing, this was a nice video.

I appreciate when football videos actually use graphics and diagrams to communicate

# ? Dec 25, 2022 22:55

Lifespan: Mar 5, 2002

at the people putting together the schedule before the season looking at Christmas day like it would all be highly anticipated and important match ups.

# ? Dec 26, 2022 00:41

EmbryoSteve: Dec 18, 2004; Taste~The~Rainbow

My blood sugar is gon' be like

~^^^^*WHOA*^^^^~

syzpid posted:

I will die laughing if Darnold outlasts Wilson in the NFL.

Russell or zach?

# ? Dec 26, 2022 00:47

Nervous: Jan 25, 2005; Why, hello, my little slice of pecan pie.

EmbryoSteve posted:

Russell or zach?

It'll be even funnier if he outlasts Russell Wilson. That contract is going to have him around a couple of years at least.

# ? Dec 26, 2022 01:02

Chris James 2: Aug 9, 2012

Nervous posted:

It'll be even funnier if he outlasts Russell Wilson. That contract is going to have him around a couple of years at least.

You probably mean in the league, because we already know Zach's off the team after this year

# ? Dec 26, 2022 01:17

eighty-four merc: Dec 22, 2010; In 2020, we're going to make the end of Fight Club real.

Merry Christmas Denver lol

# ? Dec 26, 2022 01:23

Cthulu Carl: Apr 16, 2006

eighty-four merc posted:

Merry Christmas Denver lol

I wonder how many review layers Nickelodeon's decision of "Let's have snow cannon graphic, but just use the slime cannon graphics and color it white, and also use the same 'squinching' sound as the slime" went through. My guess was not enough.

The Giant Hanukkah Hot Wheels race and the dude in the stands they made look like he had slime shooting out of his pits were solid decisions though.

# ? Dec 26, 2022 02:23

Kilometers Davis: Jul 9, 2007; They begin again

SKULL.GIF posted:

Jets were 7-4, Dolphins were 8-3. Both have lost four straight. Titans were 7-3 and have lost 5 straight.

Packers were 4-8, Jaguars were 4-8. Both have won three straight. Lions were 1-6, won 6 of 7, then dropped one.

Wild mid-season turnarounds.

It�s been a really fun and weird season.

# ? Dec 26, 2022 05:09

SKULL.GIF: Jan 20, 2017

Vikings chat and the Bucs/Cards finish last night was on my mind this morning. What would the season look like if all games that finished within one score was counted as a tie? I catalogued this by hand so I might've made a mistake somewhere, but the broader picture should be correct.

Buffalo is unsurprisingly dominant, while the rest of the division thrashes around at .500.

quote:

AFC East
6-0-9 Buffalo
4-4-7 New England
3-3-9 Miami
3-4-8 New York

The Jaguars show out much stronger than their actual record indicates, while the Colts and Texans are among the worst teams in the league.

quote:

AFC South
4-2-9 Jacksonville
2-3-10 Tennessee
0-4-10 Indianapolis
0-6-9 Houston

The Chiefs easily come out on top, with the rest of the division being some mixture of lucky (Los Angeles), just mediocre (Las Vegas), or horribly unlucky (Denver).

quote:

AFC West
6-0-9 Kansas City
2-1-12 Las Vegas
1-2-11 Los Angeles
1-3-11 Denver

Neck-and-neck race between the Bengos and Ravens.

quote:

AFC North
6-1-8 Cincinnati
5-1-9 Baltimore
4-3-8 Cleveland
1-3-11 Pittsburgh

The East looks much closer here than it does on the actual records, while we see that Daboll's Giants are very lucky (or very well-coached!) to have the record they do without scoring any dominant victories.

quote:

NFC East
7-1-7 Philadelphia
6-2-7 Dallas
2-4-9 Washington
0-3-12 New York

Much like the AFC South, we see here the cat team comes out on top. I catalogued these by hand and it was remarkable seeing the turnaround after Rhule was fired.

quote:

NFC South
4-5-6 Carolina
2-4-9 Tampa Bay
1-3-11 Atlanta
1-4-10 New Orleans

The 49ers had the fewest ties among the league -- they either win big or lose big.

quote:

NFC West
9-3-3 San Francisco
4-2-9 Seattle
2-5-8 Arizona
2-7-6 Los Angeles

Cat team comes out on top again! The Vikings, much like the Giants, are either very lucky or very well-coached.

quote:

NFC North
4-3-8 Detroit
3-4-8 Green Bay
1-3-11 Minnesota
2-5-8 Chicago

Sorted by conference. Remember, ties count as 0.5 win and 0.5 loss.

quote:

AFC
z 6-0-9 Buffalo

y 6-0-9 Kansas City
y 6-1-8 Cincinnati
y 4-2-9 Jacksonville

x 5-1-9 Baltimore
x 4-3-8 Cleveland
x 2-1-12 Las Vegas

4-4-7 New England
3-3-9 Miami
3-4-8 New York
2-3-10 Tennessee
1-2-11 Los Angeles
1-3-11 Denver
1-3-11 Pittsburgh
0-4-10 Indianapolis
0-6-9 Houston

NFC
z 7-1-7 Philadelphia

y 9-3-3 San Francisco
y 4-3-8 Detroit
y 4-5-6 Carolina

x 6-2-7 Dallas
x 4-2-9 Seattle
x 3-4-8 Green Bay

1-3-11 Minnesota
1-3-11 Atlanta
2-4-9 Washington
2-4-9 Tampa Bay
0-3-12 New York
1-4-10 New Orleans
2-5-8 Arizona
2-5-8 Chicago
2-7-6 Los Angeles

# ? Dec 26, 2022 16:22

Mr. Nice!: Oct 13, 2005; c-spam cannot afford

SKULL.GIF posted:

Vikings chat and the Bucs/Cards finish last night was on my mind this morning. What would the season look like if all games that finished within one score was counted as a tie? I catalogued this by hand so I might've made a mistake somewhere, but the broader picture should be correct.

Buffalo is unsurprisingly dominant, while the rest of the division thrashes around at .500.

The Jaguars show out much stronger than their actual record indicates, while the Colts and Texans are among the worst teams in the league.

The Chiefs easily come out on top, with the rest of the division being some mixture of lucky (Los Angeles), just mediocre (Las Vegas), or horribly unlucky (Denver).

Neck-and-neck race between the Bengos and Ravens.

The East looks much closer here than it does on the actual records, while we see that Daboll's Giants are very lucky (or very well-coached!) to have the record they do without scoring any dominant victories.

Much like the AFC South, we see here the cat team comes out on top. I catalogued these by hand and it was remarkable seeing the turnaround after Rhule was fired.

The 49ers had the fewest ties among the league -- they either win big or lose big.

Cat team comes out on top again! The Vikings, much like the Giants, are either very lucky or very well-coached.

Sorted by conference. Remember, ties count as 0.5 win and 0.5 loss.

This does not result in an all NFCE wildcard so I think your methodology might be flawed. Interesting look regardless! Thank you.

# ? Dec 26, 2022 17:44

pasaluki: Feb 27, 2008; THIS WHAGON HAS NO BREAKS! I HAVE THE HEART OF THE BUUFALO the strength OF THE MOUNTAIN, THE FURY OF THE THUNDER AND MY WILL IS UNBREAKABLE! I will not surrender to KNOW ONE

That was interesting. I knew Minnesota's record would look wild.
The Vikings really have had the most entertaining season I can remember in a long time.

# ? Dec 26, 2022 18:03

kiimo: Jul 24, 2003

https://twitter.com/swagsurfin__/status/1607169652169351168?s=46&t=Kqob5qLS12TVi4H_txBX7A

https://twitter.com/tompelissero/status/1607431171176300544?s=46&t=Kqob5qLS12TVi4H_txBX7A

kiimo fucked around with this message at 18:44 on Dec 26, 2022

# ? Dec 26, 2022 18:37

Gonz: Dec 22, 2009; "Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"

Broncos fired Nate Hackett.

# ? Dec 26, 2022 18:41

Bellmaker: Oct 18, 2008; Chapter DOOF

https://twitter.com/Broncos/status/1607172763441037312

embarassed sports team tweets are a great genre, also Hackett fired, incredible weekend.

# ? Dec 26, 2022 18:46

pmchem: Jan 22, 2010

who is gonna take on that shitshow as a coach? you're saddled with Russ's contract for your entire first HC contract duration

# ? Dec 26, 2022 18:48

a neat cape: Feb 22, 2007; Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

pmchem posted:

who is gonna take on that shitshow as a coach? you're saddled with Russ's contract for your entire first HC contract duration

Dan Quinn

# ? Dec 26, 2022 18:51

kiimo: Jul 24, 2003

pmchem posted:

who is gonna take on that shitshow as a coach? you're saddled with Russ's contract for your entire first HC contract duration

I think the funniest of options would be Pete Carroll

# ? Dec 26, 2022 18:57

kazil: Jul 24, 2005; A fancy little mouse🐁!

pmchem posted:

who is gonna take on that shitshow as a coach? you're saddled with Russ's contract for your entire first HC contract duration

let Russ coach

# ? Dec 26, 2022 18:58

fsif: Jul 18, 2003

Hackett is truly lucky that Urban Meyer exists.

# ? Dec 26, 2022 19:00

R.D. Mangles: Jan 10, 2004

pmchem posted:

who is gonna take on that shitshow as a coach? you're saddled with Russ's contract for your entire first HC contract duration

# ? Dec 26, 2022 19:03

davecrazy: Nov 25, 2004; I'm an insufferable shitposter who does not deserve to root for such a good team. Also, this is what Matt Harvey thinks of me and my garbage posting.

Is Dan Reeves still dead?

# ? Dec 26, 2022 19:04

Android Apocalypse: Apr 28, 2009; The future is
AUTOMATED
and you are
OBSOLETE; Illegal Hen

Galaxy brain move: hire Brian Flores to quell the whole controversy about discrimination against hiring black coaches that bubbled up in Miami.

# ? Dec 26, 2022 19:09

SKULL.GIF: Jan 20, 2017

pmchem posted:

who is gonna take on that shitshow as a coach? you're saddled with Russ's contract for your entire first HC contract duration

Gonna be someone who really wants a HC job but for whatever reason hasn't been able to get it anywhere else.

Enter Eric Bieniemy

# ? Dec 26, 2022 19:24

Hot Diggity!: Apr 3, 2010; SKELITON_BRINGING_U_ON.GIF

Ranking all teams by point differential:

1. Bills
2. Niners
3. Eagles
4. Cowboys
5. Chiefs
6. Bengals
7. Ravens
8. Patriots
9. Jaguars
10. Vikings
11. Jets
12. Raiders
13. Dolphins
14. Lions
15. Seahawks
16. Browns
17. Packers
18. Saints
19. Panthers
T-20. Chargers
T-20. Giants
T-20. Commanders
23. Falcons
24. Buccaneers
25. Titans
26. Rams
27. Steelers
28. Broncos
29. Cardinals
30. Bears
31. Colts
32. Texans

Teams in bold are the only ones with a positive differential.

# ? Dec 26, 2022 19:25

sweet thursday: Sep 16, 2012

Nathaniel Hackett's Scarlet Record

# ? Dec 26, 2022 19:26

FizFashizzle: Mar 30, 2005

apparently Fournette tweeted (then quickly deleted) that he's actually been playing with a Lisfranc injury for a while

quote:

Leonard Fournette tweeted on Monday that he's playing through a Lisfranc injury.

Upset over constant jabs about his weight/playing shape, Fournette took to Twitter on Monday saying, "I hate when people be on here just talking saying I'm out of shape etc do y'all understand I'm playing with a lisfranc in my foot every week can barely push off my foot but through the Grade of God I'm going to keep proving y'all wrong... .... #BucsWin." In Sunday's win over the Cardinals, Fournette rushed 20 times for 72 yards and caught another nine passes for 90 yards. Assuming his injury doesn't worsen, he should be in for another decent workload in Week 17 against the Panthers. Interestingly, Fournette deleted the tweet just minutes after posting it. He was on the Buccaneers' injury report for a foot injury leading up to the team's Week 14 matchup against the 49ers but wasn't listed on the report over the last two weeks. The Bucs will almost certainly have to answer questions about Fournette's tweet and injury status at the next press conference.

# ? Dec 26, 2022 19:32

kiimo: Jul 24, 2003

And yet they won't sit him so Rachaad White can take over.

I promise this isn't a fantasy post, I swear

# ? Dec 26, 2022 19:35

Iodised QQ: Jul 23, 2004

Through the Grade of God may I continue making mediocre posts for decades to come

# ? Dec 26, 2022 19:53

kazil: Jul 24, 2005; A fancy little mouse🐁!

Iodised QQ posted:

Through the Grade of God may I continue making mediocre posts for decades to come

it's like a PFF grade but less made up

# ? Dec 26, 2022 19:54

Silly Burrito: Nov 27, 2007; SET A COURSE FOR
THE FLAVOR QUADRANT

pmchem posted:

who is gonna take on that shitshow as a coach? you're saddled with Russ's contract for your entire first HC contract duration

Sean Payton knows how to coach short quarterbacks.

# ? Dec 26, 2022 19:57

EmbryoSteve: Dec 18, 2004; Taste~The~Rainbow

My blood sugar is gon' be like

~^^^^*WHOA*^^^^~

Am I alone in thinking Sean Payton is overrated?

I think i saw a post out there where he only has 1 year of multiple playoff wins (the superbowl win year) and he definitely had a spate of like 7-9 seasons, and then he bailed on the team when things got complicated and difficult as a coach when brees retired.

edit: did sean payton help/make brees good or was brees always good and the chargers just sucked?

# ? Dec 26, 2022 20:02

LiquidFriend: Apr 5, 2005

Silly Burrito posted:

Sean Payton knows how to coach short quarterbacks.

The last short QB that insisted on throwing it deep drove him to retirement. Also, the thought of Fangio coming back to Denver in a lesser role is :laugh:

# ? Dec 26, 2022 20:09

YOLOsubmarine: Oct 19, 2004; When asked which Pokemon he evolved into, Kamara pauses.

"Motherfucking, what's that big dragon shit? That orange motherfucker. Charizard."

EmbryoSteve posted:

Am I alone in thinking Sean Payton is overrated?

I think i saw a post out there where he only has 1 year of multiple playoff wins (the superbowl win year) and he definitely had a spate of like 7-9 seasons, and then he bailed on the team when things got complicated and difficult as a coach when brees retired.

He�s really good at creating offense. It took him a long time to find a decent DC and unfortunately Allen came in when Brees was starting to fade physically. Every team in the NFC South went to the Super Bowl during his tenure there so it�s not like he was constantly rolling over bad teams on his way to a good win record.

He�s pretty drat good. Top 10 in the league. Who cares if he bailed after Brees left? It�s miserable enough as a fan, coaching this team would be torture.

# ? Dec 26, 2022 20:10

kiimo: Jul 24, 2003

Silly Burrito posted:

Sean Payton knows how to coach short quarterbacks.

He'll be great for the Rams when McVay leaves to announce or whatever

# ? Dec 26, 2022 20:13

MakaVillian: Aug 16, 2003; Well, in Whoville they say - that his tiny hands grew three sizes that day.

Android Apocalypse posted:

Galaxy brain move: hire Brian Flores to quell the whole controversy about discrimination against hiring black coaches that bubbled up in Miami.

You joke, but they will absolutely hire some scapegoat PoC head coach

# ? Dec 26, 2022 20:17

Benne: Sep 2, 2011; STOP DOING HEROIN

They're gonna pull the classic "hire some rear end in a top hat dictator to run a tight ship because the last guy was too nice"

Enjoy those ping-pong tables while you still got them!

# ? Dec 26, 2022 20:21

Bird in a Blender: Nov 17, 2005; It's amazing what they can do with computers these days.

EmbryoSteve posted:

Am I alone in thinking Sean Payton is overrated?

I think i saw a post out there where he only has 1 year of multiple playoff wins (the superbowl win year) and he definitely had a spate of like 7-9 seasons, and then he bailed on the team when things got complicated and difficult as a coach when brees retired.

edit: did sean payton help/make brees good or was brees always good and the chargers just sucked?

I don�t think Payton is a hall of fame coach, but he�s definitely well above average. Multiple post season wins is a weird stat to pick on because it�s incredibly difficult to do. John Madden only had one post season with multiple wins. Jimmy Johnson only had 2.

I don�t really blame him for bailing after Brees retired. NO is looking at a few years at least before they could be competitive again and maybe he�s just tired of coaching after doing it for like 15 years. If anything, he at least knew how to get the most out of his QB, which not all coaches are good at.

Bounty gate is a black mark though.

# ? Dec 26, 2022 20:29

Diva Cupcake: Aug 15, 2005

Paton is probably the highest profile retread since Andy Reid no? Maybe not if you count Harbaugh.

# ? Dec 26, 2022 20:31

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# ? May 9, 2024 07:24

kiimo: Jul 24, 2003

MakaVillian posted:

You joke, but they will absolutely hire some scapegoat PoC head coach

Herm Edwards is available.

*ducks*

https://twitter.com/rodger/status/1607436816298164224?s=42&t=eObpGkaZBCfA09Y992YNKQ

kiimo fucked around with this message at 20:39 on Dec 26, 2022

# ? Dec 26, 2022 20:36

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > Week 16 News/Views: The Las Vegas Lateral Is the Greatest Gift

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