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when i was a kid and diarrhoea poo poo my pajamas whilst throwing up in the toilet b/c i was too stupid to sit on the toilet and throw up in the sink
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Dec 27, 2022 20:09
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| # ? May 13, 2024 18:25 |
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lol
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Dec 27, 2022 21:21
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I’m sure there is some sort of rational explanation here, there is too much engineering for there not to be. 
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Dec 27, 2022 21:25
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when I drank alot and would have what felt like this rushing river of diarrhea brewing in my guts. just so much pressure building in there. but then i'd sit on the toilet and this little pip of a fart would squeeze out and just a few little slabs of mudpie. happened often
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Dec 27, 2022 21:31
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Ralph Hurley posted:
Always been a major fan of the poo poo Hammock. Never seen a turd so relaxed and mellow without being liquid diarrhea. 10/10. Would digest again.
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Dec 27, 2022 23:20
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had been partying in New York. Very hungover the next morning. Stopped at a diner, and while there I have to puke. I go to the bathroom and as I'm doing the pre-vomit drooling thing a man who seemed to be really big Kramered into the bathroom and took the adjacent stall to me (there were only 3) in and took the loudest poo poo ever. Just all farts, incredibly loud. So I puke now, and after I'm done I start laughing, and the guy making GBS threads starts laughing. Just an absolute horrorshow, puking and earthquake farts and insane laughing. Just a totally hosed up moment in time that I'll never forget.
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Dec 27, 2022 23:46
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buglord posted:I wouldn’t say worst but it’s always shocking to me how bad Barnes and Noble restrooms are. It’s something id expect to see at a Walmart. i worked at one for 15 years. what you saw as a customer is just a fraction of what would actually occur.
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Dec 27, 2022 23:59
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I took a poo poo at a rest stop/gas station on the outskirts of Beijing. The toilet was just a very old brick wall (like last century) with some dividers, a tin roof and a creaky wooden door. No drainage or seat, you just poo poo onto the existing pile of poo poo left by previous visitors. As a decadent westerner who had only ever used regular plumbed toilets this felt like the bar exam for making GBS threads mastery. It smelled rancid but the fact I escaped without falling backwards into the poo poo pile or dropping one into my pants or breaking off too early felt like a real achievement. Now I feel like I could poo poo anywhere.
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Dec 28, 2022 00:09
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Welp, all your stories have convinced me. I am never pooping again.
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Dec 28, 2022 00:10
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maxe posted:I took a poo poo at a rest stop/gas station on the outskirts of Beijing. The toilet was just a very old brick wall (like last century) with some dividers, a tin roof and a creaky wooden door. I too have experienced this in the not tourist parts of Beijing. The pooping troughs were across the "room" from each other, and the two old men just stared at me the whole time and muttered funny comments about the white guy barely able to not fall in to each other while doing their squats, while I'm trying to focus on the task. You guys are not helping! This isn't funny!
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Dec 28, 2022 00:31
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On a college trip to Italy squatted over a centuries old latrine hole in the stone floor in a church in a small town we were visiting while busing between major cities. Because gently caress using that bus toilet, it reeked and supposedly wasn’t working right during the trip, plus when in Rome and whatnot. Would squat to piss again over risking a UTI any day. Bathrooms broke at my old job long enough to place port-a-potties outside the store for a couple months and those were shockingly a better experience than dealing with the store toilets that barely flushed. Those things even had sinks in them; didn’t even mind the spiders that set up overhead because that meant no mosquitos (but then I’m very tolerant of spiders). Actual worst experience was when I had a terrible IBS episode at work and other people in the stalls laughed in disgust at my terrifying stench 
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Dec 28, 2022 00:37
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 I only got a 4/10 on style, 3.5/10 on speed and a 1/10 on technique....I didn't get my pants down in time, had explosive diahrrea, and fell and hit my head on the tank.
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Dec 28, 2022 00:45
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ManBoyChef posted:
There's always 2024.
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Dec 28, 2022 16:24
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I was using a rest stop toilet. The police burst in and started yelling at the guy in the stalll next to me, then kicked his door in and dragged him off. Unless it was just an elaborate audio prank, because obviously, I didn't actually see it. I just kept very quiet and waited for them to finish.
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Dec 28, 2022 16:52
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One time i took a bunch of laxatives for a colonoscopy I had the next day. I had eaten a very large amount of spaghetti with meat sauce for my last meal. I ended up making GBS threads all over the wall behind and around my toilet that looked like generic gore.
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Dec 28, 2022 17:13
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I've never had a particularly memorable worst bathroom experience but the port-o-pottys at music festivals are always nasty AF.
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Dec 28, 2022 17:20
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Also once attended a party in what looked like a condemned building. I went to take a piss and the toilet floor was covered in water(?). So I just stood outside the door and pissed into the room.
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Dec 28, 2022 18:28
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I worked with this guy, Dave. He married a lady who owned a Chinese restaurant. Dave being a moron and a boomer, all of his meals were leftover Chinese food, because he couldn't cook for himself. This combined with his untreated late stage alcoholism led to substantial corpulence. Our office toilet had one stall and one urinal for the whole floor. Every day at 10am, like clockwork, Dave would go in and take a thirty minute poo poo. The leftover Chinese diet and alcoholic shits were the most vile things on the planet. Paint peeled off the walls, wolves would start howling in the woods, Cthulhu would begin awakening, they were vile. You couldn't breathe in there. The stench was so acidic that the protective coating on your eyes began peeling. You couldn't close your eyes to the horror because it would flow in through your tear ducts. Nobody could use the bathroom for hours afterwards.
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Dec 28, 2022 18:43
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cYn posted:I was using a rest stop toilet. The police burst in and started yelling at the guy in the stalll next to me, then kicked his door in and dragged him off. Loyd Christmas getting collected molested next to you and you just listen 
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Dec 28, 2022 18:49
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BigHead posted:substantial corpulence. this is a great phrase
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Dec 28, 2022 18:59
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kntfkr posted:probably nj transit out of penn station. i got sounded by an overly aggressive not incredibly experienced dominatrix in alphabet city and started bleeding from my dick and the urethra bleeds A LOT and I was stuffing napkins down my pants and poo poo. almost home, blood was coming through the pants and i needed to change dressing but the train bathroom was out of toilet paper and only had really scratchy brown paper towels and everything sucked this is obviously made up for purposes of humour, nevertheless i choose to believe that it is true in its entirety and i will not be convinced otherwise
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Dec 28, 2022 19:01
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BigHead posted:all of his meals were leftover Chinese food, because he couldn't cook for himself. Not seeing the problem here.
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Dec 28, 2022 19:21
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Just about any outhouse in a state park. Especially at peak visitor times like 4th of July. Lots of people and very warm. Campground near a lake. Go to take a poo poo and there's a couple of flies. Toilet seat is surprisingly clean. As I start to poo poo about 100 flies come out of the hole. On my rear end, dick and balls, hands and face. poo poo-flies everywhere. It was practically traumatic.
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Dec 28, 2022 20:58
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My IBS provided me with a few, Top contender is probably either when I got stuck at a café on my way home from Denmark for four hours before I dared take the train home. or the time I got thrown out of a hotell because they thought I was doing drugs or something.
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Dec 28, 2022 21:44
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On the other end of the terrible bathroom experience spectrum—the clean end—holy poo poo does it suck when there’s an attendant in there. Can’t fault someone for making a buck but it’s such an unpleasant concept. What kind of person likes that? Having a servant in there huffing all your farts and offering up emotional labor for tips? I’d rather turn around, walk out, and piss in alley than be part of that.
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Dec 28, 2022 23:18
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SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL posted:On a college trip to Italy squatted over a centuries old latrine hole in the stone floor in a church in a small town we were visiting while busing between major cities. Because gently caress using that bus toilet, it reeked and supposedly wasn’t working right during the trip, plus when in Rome and whatnot. Would squat to piss again over risking a UTI any day. My family and I went on vacation to Italy the summer of 1987 and I remember those holes and hoping like hell I could wait to poop until we got back to the hotel after a day of sightseeing. Luckily, I made it two weeks without having to poop away from the hotel. My worst bathroom story is a real downer and I've killed a thread or two with it before, so my second worst I've ever seen was at the Lowes in Kokomo Indiana. We'd gone out to eat and my parents needed something and I'd just had like 3 refills of soda so I went to the restroom. It years before I knew the magic words (Get beefy bitch) so I went into a stall with my shy bladder only to find the entire wall behind the toilet, toilet and most of the floor covered in the most vile smelling poo poo I've ever seen. Like I've had multiple colonoscopies with various methods of stool loosening the night before, etc. and I still don't understand wall-making GBS threads or even the physics behind someone presumably attempting to sit yet there is poo poo six feet up the wall. Kirk Vikernes fucked around with this message at 23:57 on Dec 28, 2022 |
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Dec 28, 2022 23:53
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Dick Fontaine posted:On the other end of the terrible bathroom experience spectrum—the clean end—holy poo poo does it suck when there’s an attendant in there. I've never understood bathroom attendants. Amongst my clubbing friends nobody likes/uses them, I'm not sure how it's a thing that still exists.
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Dec 28, 2022 23:57
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Hammerite posted:this is obviously made up for purposes of humour, nevertheless i choose to believe that it is true in its entirety and i will not be convinced otherwise It's sadly true and cost me like 800 bucks less transportation cuz it was a two hour.
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Dec 28, 2022 23:59
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Kirk Vikernes posted:Like I've had multiple colonoscopies with various methods of stool loosening the night before, etc. and I still don't understand wall-making GBS threads or even the physics behind someone presumably attempting to sit yet there is poo poo six feet up the wall. Pretty sure it goes something like this 
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Dec 29, 2022 00:06
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i've told the story here before and i genuinely don't like remembering it but one time i was poopin' in the handicapped stall at a mall and a small elderly person shouting panicked broken english broke into the stall and spewed foul liquid poo poo all over the wall next to me as i desperately tried to wipe my rear end and get the gently caress outta there
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Dec 29, 2022 00:15
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Rockman Reserve posted:i've told the story here before and i genuinely don't like remembering it but one time i was poopin' in the handicapped stall at a mall and a small elderly person shouting panicked broken english broke into the stall and spewed foul liquid poo poo all over the wall next to me as i desperately tried to wipe my rear end and get the gently caress outta there How close are we talking here
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Dec 29, 2022 00:53
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One day in 2018 I was walking through the dorm whistling. I went into the giant bathroom, and as I felt the beginnings of my body's daily detoxing of the hideous thing we called breakfast approaching me, I pushed open stall number 3 to discover a poo poo tornado had come through. It was like someone had detonated a grenade made of poo poo and covered 1/3rd of the stall, floor,wall with poo poo. I tried again in stall #2 and stall #1 to discover literally the exact same disaster had happened three separate times. The dorm captain bought a pressure washer just to get it all off.
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Dec 29, 2022 00:57
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i went back to my alma mater to have serious discussions about law and policy and definitely not buy hashish off a communist juris doctorate i met on tinder and found they'd sealed up all the gloryholes and the sink now had one of those bullshit lasers that only gives a piddling amount of water when you stick your hand under it to clean up after a juris doctorate is not a real doctor, do not let them convince you to remove your underpants even if you are coughing a lot https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R-FxmoVM7X4
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Dec 29, 2022 01:08
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Years ago I worked for a summer program for blind and visually impaired teenagers; the kids would stay in the dorms at a local college for the duration. One group of kids stayed in a suite that had its own bathroom. Apparently one of the kids thought that a good way to get rid of the trash that had been accumulating in his room (empty potato chip bags, candy bar wrappers, etc) was to flush it all down the toilet. Unsurprisingly this clogged the toilet. Unfortunately, some of the kids kept using the toilet for a little while because they couldn’t see all the garbage in it. The kids were too nervous to tell staff that they had broken the toilet, so they spent a few days using the bathroom down the hall. One of the staffers noticed the kids doing this, and was able to coax the whole story out of them. When we went down to their room to assess the damage, we were greeted with a toilet filled to the brim with garbage and the biggest single turd I have ever seen resting right on top of the garbage pile. Like if you had told me that a T-rex had taken a dump in that toilet I would have believed you. The most insane part? A few years later a totally different group of blind and visually impaired teenagers did the exact same thing and tried to flush a whole bunch of potato chip bags down the toilet in their bathroom. Luckily this particular program was only overnight, so the damage wasn’t nearly as catastrophic.
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Dec 29, 2022 01:30
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im always so impressed when i open a stall and there's a single giant turd in the bowl with no paper. it either means someone walked out with a filthy rear end because they didn't want to sully their masterpiece or the turd was so big it was the only thing unaffected by the flush. both scenarios are inspirational
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Dec 29, 2022 01:40
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The trough at the old Kingdome. I thought it was for my horse to drink from! (It was Bring Your Horse day)
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Dec 29, 2022 01:51
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any poop without a bidet might as well be making GBS threads rough in the wilderness
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Dec 29, 2022 02:23
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poverty goat posted:any poop without a bidet might as well be making GBS threads rough in the wilderness  I feel like they’re becoming more common in the US and that’s a good thing
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Dec 29, 2022 02:30
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poverty goat posted:any poop without a bidet might as well be making GBS threads rough in the wilderness agree
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Dec 29, 2022 02:36
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| # ? May 13, 2024 18:25 |
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Overnight layover in NY + severe diarrhea 
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Dec 29, 2022 03:11
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