Internet Explorer posted:

Break a leg.

Theirs if you have to.

KozmoNaut posted:

"Urgent" is even better, it sends people a reminder every 20 minutes.

Wizard of the Deep posted:

Yea, this isn't normal or healthy, and the business is likely to start experiencing significant financial hardships unless several people who are not you manage to resolve their cranial/anal intersection.

I'll say it again with bold letters: This is not how a healthy organization operates. Evacuate immediately.

Minimum effort obviously won't get punished immediately, so they get lip service while all your real effort goes to finding your next role.

Renegret posted:

We're offering 5 gig home internet now and the overwhelming opinion of this is, it's complete overkill, but we're all afraid to say that we'll never need it because we've all been burnt before.

A Frosty Witch posted:

A second round of interviews at my dream job just came in.

Here's hoping

Methylethylaldehyde posted:

That depends entirely on the structure of the acquisition. It's entirely possible for your boss and entire management structure to be replaced without directly changing the entity who signs your paycheck and who you have an employment contract with. Nobody likes to do that because it's messy as hell, but it is doable.

Depending on the state "gently caress you, I'm not signing that" would be a layoff, not quitting, because the business unit dissolved with the acquisition. Most employment lawyers will answer some questions for free, and everyone deserves a severance package. That's probably why HR wanted a resignation, because the resignation affirms the change in employment, then instantly ends it, preventing the "it's not a layoff, it's a merger" loophole they closed after the games they played in the 90s.

Methylethylaldehyde posted:

Just because the contract says they can fire you for any reason or no reason doesn't make it less contractual. They can tell you that 'your new boss will be X', but they can't say 'your new employer will be Y' and actually do it without you signing something. Either side can zero notice quit the contact, but one side absolutely cannot renegotiate specific terms unilaterally. Basic US contract law prohibits that.

Contracts with teeth that cut both ways don't start until you're in the equity bracket of leadership, or you're both extremely valuable (and management both knows it AND is willing to acknowledge it). Which is rare these days, when most companies will happily saw off their foot rather than deal fairly with someone with value to the company.

Renegret posted:

Would it be unprofessional if I closed a ticket by saying it's so stupid it made my brain hurt?

It took me 10 minutes to send the ticket back saying, what?, but I've spent over an hour trying to decipher what the ask is. They eventually got back to me with what's effectively a wildly incorrect definition of what a NAT is which only made things worse.

$10 all the customer wants is to put the ISP gear into bridge mode so they can use their own router.

Arquinsiel posted:

Sounds like someone wants their Minecraft server to be accessible to the internet and doesn't quite understand how to make that happen.

Agrikk posted:

Thanks Ants posted:

People = poo poo

AAAAA! Real Muenster posted:

Sounds like they got tired of you making everyone else look bad.

Unexpected Raw Anime posted:

Our apartment management company just sent us an email blast that theyre going to be installing "SMART HOME TECHNOLOGY" in all of the units and I really wish I could tell them that no, I'm perfectly happy with my early-2000s thermostat and do not want any of this bullshit in my residence

klosterdev posted:

A ticket came in: "Cannot connect to wife"

rafikki posted:

“Did you try turning her on?”

Weedle posted:

are you loving serious? what are the model numbers so we know to never buy them

Wizard of the Deep posted:

When your attempts at erudition fail,
No one is fooled by your insipid words.
You hide your shameful face behind email,
Hoping to buffalo with words in herds.

Instead, use language familiar:
"Please" and "Thank you" and your "Would you kindly";
Worry not about words peculiar.
And compose your dialect unblindly.

Whenever you speak with that foolishness
Your intentions are led so far astray.
With your brazen display of mulishness,
You embarrass those you wish to obey.

This wisdom of mine I beg you to heed;
Otherwise you might look like a dickweed.

Renegret posted:

There's a ticket here that got escalated to my group in closed status, with weekly angry updates from the call center complaining it's out of SLA and that we need to provide an update.

I'm going to continue to ignore it and see what happens.

It's also for a simple request that I don't have access to do myself so they should very much do it themselves.

klosterdev posted:

"IT is not a revenue generating department"

A Frosty Witch posted:

Arquinsiel posted:

Thanksgiving gets them started early.

Jaded Burnout posted:

My local supermarket filling the seasonal aisle with christmas stuff on August 31st was the last straw for me.

Shugojin posted:

aaaaaaaaaaaaaa

The Fool posted:

What is clear and obvious to you is not always clear and obvious to someone else.


I used to have a word template that had all the intro stuff on it including their username and password and used mail merge to populate the fields from a csv. That would get included in their onboarding packet by their manager.

Thanks Ants posted:

Onboarding is not an IT task, it is a line manager task. Line manager gets the laptop and the credentials (temporary access pass if you're on board with all that) and gives them to the new hire when they turn up.

Zorak of Michigan posted:

Every time you make your process foolproof, you meet a better fool.

Deuce posted:

Don't shame my Outlook rules

Kurieg posted:

They got rid of our desk phones and gave us all software phones.
In the process this broke our intercom that we had in the entryway so they just hung up a sign over the junction box where the intercom used to be saying 'dial <My Phone> for entry'
Then they got rid of our software phones.
The SOP now is to just bang on the glass till someone notices I guess.

sfwarlock posted:

The latest: the monitor has returned! It was magically under the desk this AM. I'm guessing someone figured out they couldn't suddenly be using it and also probably couldn't sneak it out.

FAKEEDIT: ".... uh... does it look to anyone else like it was dropped on that corner?" Yeah. The screen is busted.

A Frosty Witch posted:

This was always the most infuriating part of working in IT. The largest telecom company in the world does not give a poo poo about a small business in rural Alabama, please stop trying to get me to bully them into fixing their multi-million dollar outage faster.

ChubbyThePhat posted:

You work in an episode of Community.

sfwarlock posted:

I mean, it's HIPAA, I don't think HR is even allowed to ask. If they have a nice dentist who'll write them a nice three-day weekend note...

Meanwhile, I'm sure you mean an unauthorized USB Mass Storage Device ("thumbdrive") and yeah. I don't work there anymore, let alone him...

sfwarlock posted:

The new hire, and I only know because I got the ticket to change his stuff in inventory from building/floor/cube to wfh/longterm.

Dentist appt guy ... shrug.

Kyrosiris posted:

Honestly that sounds like the best outcome to me. Still get your requested gear, but don't have to work in the office with a bunch of literal children.

Internet Explorer posted:

Because when Congress changed DST in 2007 they phased it in and the day changed by a week for like a decade. A lot of DST had static dates that couldn't be changed and part of that big disaster was adding flexible dates.

It's been so long and I'm still mad at Microsoft for bundling their Exchange DST 2007 fix in with permission changes that hosed Blackberries and caused a bunch of work.

Internet Explorer posted:

Also that post made me feel very very old.

dragonshardz posted:

DST is stupid.

AlexDeGruven posted:

There are so many reasons I'd rather be in Ireland.

Sywert of Thieves posted:

DST sucks and I want to stop changing my loving clocks twice a year. I don't care what the clock says when the sun rises or sets, either permanently on or off is fine.

The current 3-week period where the US is on summer time ,while the rest of the world is still on winter time, is the stupidest result of DST ever.

sfwarlock posted:

I live in San Francisco. If not for DST, dawn would be before 5 am for two months, mid-May to mid-July. If permanent DST, dawn would be after 8 am - after I get to work - for about three months, 11/23 - 2/13.

I'll take four days of mild jetlag over nearly five months of bullshit, please and thank you.

GreenNight posted:

I've been in IT for over 20 years and I barely know what I don't know.

Entropic posted:

Oh boy, look what Glassdoor did

https://twitter.com/carnage4life/status/1771132649391993063?s=46&t=dQl6Iu6Wmq7antcZ30Prgw

Thanks Ants posted:

Well that will kill the platform, congratulations to all involved

Dog Faced JoJo posted:

Look at all these cynical buttholes...

tokenbrownguy posted:

I'm the rare goon with medical insurance, it was just the copays for like three appointments I think.

back on topic, gently caress Zebra label printers. I hate them so much. gently caress you receiving guy, you don't need these.

sfwarlock posted:

What is it about sitting at a computer that makes people's brains stop working? We have a third-party service that will integrate with AD for SSO Real Soon Now, but in the meantime people need to log in separately.

(Insert separate rant here about how I'm just a cruel arrogant sadist who loves to torture people by asking them politely not to "just reuse 'their' password" for logging onto a third-party service. )

Every 90 days, the service requires 2fa - that is, it sends a code to the email address that needs to be entered along with the password.

The words "A code was sent to user@company.com by email. Enter it here:" appeared on his screen in plain English. All they have to do is read the words that re in front of them and do what it says. Yet what do we get. "Logon to Paragon system broken."

"What's wrong?"

"It doesn't work."

"Please specify any error messages?"

cc: my boss, my boss's boss, user's boss "IT DOES NOT WORK FIX IT NOW two pages of explaining why it is vitally important for him to access this system"

I send the minion (whenever my blood pressure gets to the point I can feel it in my ears, I send the minion).

According to what he said before he left for a long lunch:

user: ITS BROKEN FIX IT

minion: "It sent a code to your email, check there?"

user: *blank stare* ITS BROKEN FIX IT

minion: "Can you open your email and enter the code?"

minion: *types their email address into the place where the website wants the code*

user: ITS BROKEN FIX IT

minion: *reaches past user, clicks on outlook, clicks on the latest (of ten) emails

minion: "See, it sent you a code, it just wanted that code."

user: *fifteen feet back with arms crossed* WHY IS THIS SO DIFFICULT. DO YOU ENJOY MAKING THIS HARDER. DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS IS IMPORTANT

minion: "It's just once every 90 days. It's required for security."

user: FINE. WHATEVER. JUST DO THE THING SO I CAN WORK.

minion: *shows them how to enter the code and leaves*

I went and checked. There's a postit on the user's monitor now: PARAGON CODE 50302939

TITTIEKISSER69 posted:

I pronounce the first syllable of Entra the same as Entry, but not long ago I was helping someone with MS Authenticator and they said their account was labeled awn-tra.

quote:

Subject Desktop / Laptop (NABU only)

Description the last 3 cycles where my machine was updated, I had to reboot 3+ times! after each reboot, in a minute or two I am prompted to reboot again... and Again. Because of the timeouts set in the reboot now (8 minute timer) I have lost 1 hour of production each time I have to update my machine with patches.