[SPAM] FW: RE: Jaded Helpdesk Megathread For Cynical Buttholes - DO NOT ASK FOR HELP

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > [SPAM] FW: RE: Jaded Helpdesk Megathread For Cynical Buttholes - DO NOT ASK FOR HELP

«‹›3 »

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

Did something happen to the old thread? I was out of office until tomorrow but now I can't send posts.

# ¿ Jan 2, 2023 04:41

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 14, 2024 08:18

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

ASAPRockySituation posted:

Yes

I don't think it's working right. Please see attached screenshot.

# ¿ Jan 2, 2023 15:01

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

Clearly they don't want your money and you should forget they exist.

# ¿ Jan 3, 2023 22:07

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

There's a bunch of community-specific etiquette around how to handle previous names, but you really don't want them figuring it out later via LinkedIn or something and kicking up a fuss if they're the type to get mad about it. Best to weed out the people you don't want to work with ahead of time.

# ¿ Jan 3, 2023 22:40

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

Speaking of PST files...

Abandon hope for getting them from Rackspace: https://www.bankinfosecurity.com/rackspace-blames-zero-day-exploit-for-ransomware-hit-success-a-20849

# ¿ Jan 4, 2023 16:32

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

I mean... you used the term yourself. It's flagging things. Falsely. "False flags", if you will.

# ¿ Jan 4, 2023 17:33

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

DACK FAYDEN posted:

a Brother?

# ¿ Jan 5, 2023 03:35

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

Internet Explorer posted:

Break a leg.

Theirs if you have to.

Break their leg with a chair leg, which you have previously broken off a chair.

# ¿ Jan 6, 2023 03:50

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

Silly Newbie posted:

I'm still walking my father in law('s company) through Rackspace recovery, and most of my input has been "lol", "lmao", and "here's an ost to pst conversion tool, good luck!". It's honestly pretty funny.

Unrelatedly, I'm gonna need everyone in the thread who uses Teams to press Ctrl+shift+i before they send each message.

That's pretty cool. I will use it only for evil.

# ¿ Jan 6, 2023 13:46

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

An email every 20 minutes?

# ¿ Jan 6, 2023 15:00

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

RFC2324 posted:

There were some true giants in the industry in those early days

I feel like there still are giants like that, somewhere out there, but it's hard to see them under the sheer volume of mundane cruft we all have to deal with constantly.

# ¿ Jan 11, 2023 20:22

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

AAAAA! Real Muenster posted:

Today Microsoft word started crashing when I tried to.... open a word doc.

I managed to pick the exact hex code for orange today that when you put it into the colour picker in MSPaint it silently crashes to desktop.

Twice.

And I didn't write it down :negative:

# ¿ Jan 28, 2023 05:30

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

Sywert of Thieves posted:

Wait, what? Are you serious? This sounds like "grandma keeps crashing her computer but she's not computer illiterate, she's just cursed" territory.

Yup, just kept happening as I was trying to redact a hash captured by Responder, and only stopped when I changes too many variables at once to really know what the issue is.

# ¿ Jan 28, 2023 20:01

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

My guess is less abstraction layers between the user and the bare metal. Made it so getting a computer to do anything at all was low-level stuff.

# ¿ Jan 30, 2023 23:57

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

If the next ticket is WORD you know their O365 sub is fux.

# ¿ Feb 11, 2023 03:50

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

loving Google Wave :psyduck:

A friend tried running a D&D campaign in it and it ended up being easier to just write everything down with a pen instead.

# ¿ Feb 12, 2023 16:00

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

AlexDeGruven posted:

5 invite Gmail user (June 2004, I think), Wave user (when I could make it do anything), and Google+ person (actually used it quite a lot for a while).

I really wish Wave had turned into something more than a tech demo of what not to do for realtime collaboration.

I swear there was another one out there I missed that died quickly. Probably several. But I probably tried them all.

Google+ was actually both a really solid platform and an early warning of what real name policies do to social media platforms, especially ones that aren't the market leader yet. I had a small number of friends who used it regularly and all but one of us bailed when they decided to force us to ditch our chosen identities. Funnily enough that was illegal under Irish law and about a year after I told them so they got back to me and went "poo poo, yeah, sorry. Here's your account back" but at that point the ship had sailed and everyone was on Facebook... who then did the same thing and now their userbase is our parents' generation getting mad about conspiracy theories.

# ¿ Feb 12, 2023 17:03

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

Podima posted:

I actually don't recall this kerfuffle about changing identities on Google+, remind me?

Some time prior to ~2013 (I can only find the emails where they folded) Google+ decided that usernames were not acceptable and they wanted you to use only your legal name, same as Facebook did in 2014. This caused problems in Ireland (Google's EU HQ) where we have multiple equally legal names and due to long-standing traditions people will be known by something that is neither, leading to "use and repute" being a way to establish legal aliases for various things. A notable example of such being politician Jackie Healy-Rae, born John Healy, but Healy being a super common name in the area he was distinguished by appending his family farm's name of "Reacashlagh" too. His son Michael was an elected TD at the time, using the same constructed surname, showing you how this poo poo is just the way things be in Ireland. So a bunch of assholes like me started throwing legal information at Google, quoting parliamentary proceedings etc, and long after we'd gotten bored and had moved on they decided to cop on and reinstate accounts and kill the policy, at least for our little island.

# ¿ Feb 13, 2023 02:27

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

At this point I kind of wish I had less storage, because then I'd have deleted decades worth of pointless mailers from game key sites and the like and might actually be able to find poo poo. The search vs storage cost question goes out the window when even a correctly formulated search returns dozens of coincidentally relevant results.

# ¿ Feb 13, 2023 16:15

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

Thanks Ants posted:

Why isn't my 12 year old laptop on Wi-Fi getting the speeds I'm paying for?

Something I've noticed having moved to the UK where speeds are lower than in Dublin is that. But also my new devices aren't getting the speeds. Except it's not actually the speed that's the problem, it's that they're whacking 60mb connections down lines that probably can't really handle more than 10 and the retransmission rate is sky high, so it just looks like that page is taking forever to load, but what's actually happened is the exchange dropped your GET and it's actually never loading.

# ¿ Feb 13, 2023 19:02

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

That's significantly than I was expecting, having seen a lot of UK job postings for similar roles of late.

Yup :negative:

# ¿ Feb 16, 2023 22:12

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

A Frosty Witch posted:

Significantly what?? I still can't tell if that's a good or bad salary

I meant to say "more" but my brain broke.

Like you'd see that advertised at �25-35K around here. poo poo's stupid.

# ¿ Feb 17, 2023 00:04

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

Just quietly have someone enforce the same boring corporate desktop image via group policy with machine name, IP, logged in user, etc and claim it's to "make things easier for Helpdesk".

# ¿ Feb 17, 2023 20:03

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

Oyster posted:

I thought to raise my personal rates from $20 to $100/hour minimum one hour billable.

FTFY.

# ¿ Mar 9, 2023 20:32

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

Just make sure to tell people up front that it's a de-facto callout fee. Cuts down on timewasting.

# ¿ Mar 11, 2023 20:17

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

RFC2324 posted:

more shitposting incoming, if I can ever catch up on all my threads

I really want to hear what's happened here someday when you are free and clear.

# ¿ Mar 22, 2023 03:44

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

RFC2324 posted:

I didn't get shut down when I said I walk without 6 figures, and wouldn't work til I get that in person meeting to work it out.

I'm also fortunate to be in a position where I can actually walk and have the support I need, so it might be time to stay at home and play with my partners kiddo for a few months.

If they try lowball you at like 110k be all "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to give you the impression that the most significant figure was "1". Stack that paper.

A Frosty Witch posted:

Dream job turned me down, big surprise.

I have decided I'm completely unhirable.

I'm going to retire from job hunting for a bit, I think.

You're objectively not unhirable. If narrative causality is anything to go by you'll poo poo out a couple of half-assed applications this week and barely bother in an interview only to land something awesome.

# ¿ Mar 22, 2023 19:35

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

RFC2324 posted:

They tried to demand a letter of resignation, and I pointed out that I never worked for them in the first place.

This is some stone cold poo poo and you're a badass.

# ¿ Mar 24, 2023 20:12

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

Methylethylaldehyde posted:

That depends entirely on the structure of the acquisition. It's entirely possible for your boss and entire management structure to be replaced without directly changing the entity who signs your paycheck and who you have an employment contract with. Nobody likes to do that because it's messy as hell, but it is doable.

Depending on the state "gently caress you, I'm not signing that" would be a layoff, not quitting, because the business unit dissolved with the acquisition. Most employment lawyers will answer some questions for free, and everyone deserves a severance package. That's probably why HR wanted a resignation, because the resignation affirms the change in employment, then instantly ends it, preventing the "it's not a layoff, it's a merger" loophole they closed after the games they played in the 90s.

Holy poo poo. Good point.

RFC2324, go get yourself a lawyer and demand severance for bonus funemployment!

# ¿ Mar 24, 2023 22:58

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

Darchangel posted:

Contracts at all don�t exist until one gets to the executive level. Literally every job I�ve ever had, admittedly all in Texas, so perhaps not the best example, explicitly stated in the HR paperwork that no one beside the CEO of the company had authority to even *make* a contract with employees.

Conveniently that means the HR paperwork isn't binding and you can assume it's a contract :v:

Renegret posted:

Our customer service is legendarily terrible so I'm actually inclined to believe that the customer wants something simple but the rep he spoke is dumber than a sack of bricks.

And regardless, the ticket should never get all the way to level 3 without a clearly defined request, something that makes more sense than "customer wants to set a static IP of *public IP* on LAN port"

Sounds like someone wants their Minecraft server to be accessible to the internet and doesn't quite understand how to make that happen.

# ¿ Mar 27, 2023 20:52

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

A company I used to work for had the same phone number as a courier company, but we were in Dublin and the couriers were somewhere else, so people would see the number on their site, assume the non-Dublin area code didn't matter, and just dial us and start complaining. If was even funnier when they were calling from a mobile or from Northern Ireland because then they'd need to actively ignore the correct area code and add the Dublin area code to the number. Always fun to get back into the office after Christmas and listen to voicemails from some dude becoming progressively more unhinged as an urgent present failed to arrive, but also not leaving contact details for us (or the courier company...) to get back to him.

# ¿ Mar 27, 2023 23:09

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

nexxai posted:

Why would you even help with this?

Username post combo points?

# ¿ Apr 25, 2023 17:40

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

Data Graham posted:

I'm sure it's purely for benign reasons

Like making sure that if you're idle it won't send you any notifications to that device. I'm on two different laptops and logged into Teams on both, and if a meeting starts or someone sends me a message it only shows up on the one I'm using, but then if I jiggle the mouse on the other one all the notifications suddenly come through in a flood. It's extremely strange and unnecessary

I'm pretty sure it's to track your "active work" metrics in O365 so your manager can give you poo poo for working via browser and command prompt all day.

# ¿ Apr 27, 2023 02:53

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

That's your fault for giving them a Boolean OR to answer. Phrase it as "of the following options please indicate the correct choice" to deal with smartarses like me.

# ¿ May 16, 2023 22:16

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

Methylethylaldehyde posted:

Edit: "yes, do that one" would be more infuriating.

I see "one" so I'm doing the interpretation labled "1:".

# ¿ May 17, 2023 03:00

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

Data Graham posted:

It says right there, ______________________________

200 and counting, not slowing down. So many "me too"s I feel like I'm right back in AOL-influx Usenet

Reply with "TL;DR". You know you want to. You'll be out of there in a month. Do it.

# ¿ May 17, 2023 20:11

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

Data Graham posted:

I was going to say: "I disagree, I think we should all reply more"

At least some people are having fun, like "only if you're delivering food to Delaware" and "Will there be a keto option??"

(that one was in earnest though lol)

You should have replied with "yes" and waited for the chaos.

# ¿ May 18, 2023 04:06

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

I'm still not convinced that smartphones are a great idea TBH. Seems the intended use case is almost always installing an app that duplicates a website's functionality.

# ¿ May 21, 2023 18:26

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

A Frosty Witch posted:

It's me, the dumb bitch that just sent out like 18 cover letters with "Dear [recipient]" instead of an actual salutation because I thought I was slick making a template.

Hey, solid odds they don't even read the cover letter at all, let alone closely enough to realise you left [] in by mistake. It'll be fine.

# ¿ May 22, 2023 06:01

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 14, 2024 08:18

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

What's stopping you from sending that email? Talk to your neighbours and get everyone to send it maybe.

# ¿ May 24, 2023 17:52

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > [SPAM] FW: RE: Jaded Helpdesk Megathread For Cynical Buttholes - DO NOT ASK FOR HELP

«‹›3 »