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it seems we no longer have a thread for documenting and reporting our various sexual and non sexual encounters with cryptids. has anyone successfully jacked off a bigfoot? nessie? champy? this thread is a safe space for people to post their encounters and not in any way a honeypot.
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Jan 4, 2023 21:57
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| # ? Apr 30, 2024 16:52 |
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Nessy is into feet.
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Jan 4, 2023 22:27
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When I was a kid on a dock at a lake on a cub scouts trip at night the sky flashed white impossibly bright impossibly quickly for a split second, and afterwards everybody, including the adults were standing in different positions and asking what happened. I assume it was a Jackalope. Voted goku because I think I may have seen him entering the atmosphere.
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Jan 4, 2023 22:30
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wtf kind of poll is this op the most seductive cryptid is easily the jersey devil.
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Jan 4, 2023 22:37
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I saw Jesus in my dreams
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Jan 4, 2023 22:38
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saw a mudcrab the other day
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Jan 4, 2023 22:46
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bigfoot sucked me off ?!?
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Jan 4, 2023 22:50
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dsf posted:bigfoot sucked me off ?!? Bigfoot hosed you on
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Jan 4, 2023 22:51
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saw my nude rear end in the mirror the other day. absolutely hosed up creature.
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Jan 4, 2023 22:56
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https://i.imgur.com/34jV8C7.gifv I want one of those aliens from Signs to gas me with their neurotoxin and probe my rear end all night long.
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Jan 4, 2023 22:57
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I checked my nude rear end in the mirror for moles the other day, but somehow it was egg_dog’s nude rear end and I was so afraid I shat on the mirror.
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Jan 4, 2023 22:58
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I am being hunted by the Mongolian Death Worm
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Jan 4, 2023 23:00
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Goku isn't really seductive. Dude is a total Chad though, I think it was revealed he never even kissed his wife, this was after his son was born. He just would dump loads in her and go back to training. Maybe come back later to eat the equivalent of 12 meals she cooked for him, then go back to training.
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Jan 4, 2023 23:00
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Bum the Sad posted:Goku isn't really seductive. Dude is a total Chad though, I think it was revealed he never even kissed his wife, this was after his son was born. He just would dump loads in her and go back to training. Maybe come back later to eat the equivalent of 12 meals she cooked for him, then go back to training. This is how everybody in Japan lives, how could you be so culturally insensitive? It’s their way of life!
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Jan 4, 2023 23:04
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Nigmaetcetera posted:This is how everybody in Japan lives, how could you be so culturally insensitive? It’s their way of life! Truly a superior culture. 
Bum the Sad fucked around with this message at 00:14 on Jan 5, 2023 |
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Jan 5, 2023 00:12
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I want a cryptid that's just a big untextured cube that someone made in Blender at like the start of a project and saved by mistake so it just sat on their computer for ages, just an untextured unlit cube. It floats around and doesn't do much of anything, it doesn't make any noise or seem to be able to interact with anything tangibly.
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Jan 5, 2023 00:14
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:I want a cryptid that's just a big untextured cube that someone made in Blender at like the start of a project and saved by mistake so it just sat on their computer for ages, just an untextured unlit cube. It floats around and doesn't do much of anything, it doesn't make any noise or seem to be able to interact with anything tangibly. You're basically describing yourself, just a cube instead of a sphere.
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Jan 5, 2023 00:19
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMLRcZQTx_A
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Jan 5, 2023 00:26
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The skunk ape keeps loving with the azimuth of my satellite dish.
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Jan 5, 2023 00:31
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Nigmaetcetera posted:When I was a kid on a dock at a lake on a cub scouts trip at night the sky flashed white impossibly bright impossibly quickly for a split second, and afterwards everybody, including the adults were standing in different positions and asking what happened. I assume it was a Jackalope. I don't know if you're trolling or what, but this is ridiculous and wrong. This was very obviously a hodag.
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Jan 5, 2023 00:38
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A wampus cat winked at me and gave me two thumbs up while running at full speed once.
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Jan 5, 2023 00:41
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Is Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson officially considered to be a cryptid?
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Jan 5, 2023 00:42
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Prof. Crocodile posted:Is Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson officially considered to be a cryptid? He was. When he signed a contract with the WWF, he lost all his supernatural abilities and became mortal.
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Jan 5, 2023 00:45
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Linux Pirate posted:He was. When he signed a contract with the WWF, he lost all his supernatural abilities and became mortal. In that case I have nothing to contribute to this thread.
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Jan 5, 2023 00:53
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bigfoot ate my rear end. gave me worms. itchy as hell.
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Jan 5, 2023 00:58
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i was going to the bathroom and a man jumped in the stall with me and sucked my dick. just reporting this encounter he may have been bigfoot
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Jan 5, 2023 00:59
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also it was my bathroom at home.
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Jan 5, 2023 00:59
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Chupacabra pegged me. Didn’t finish me off. Horny as hell.
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Jan 5, 2023 01:45
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Hell Yeah posted:i was going to the bathroom and a man jumped in the stall with me and sucked my dick. just reporting this encounter he may have been bigfoot Sorry, it was just a Bigfoot costume I wore.
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Jan 5, 2023 02:24
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I saw a mermaid.... turns out I was justt huffing paint in my tub again.
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Jan 5, 2023 02:46
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Jimmy Hoffa owns a pizza shop on the corner of Kennedy Boulevard and Newark Avenue. It's called "Jimmy Hoffa's Pizza Shop." He's been hiding in plain sight.
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Jan 5, 2023 04:13
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https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3892061&perpage=40&noseen=1&pagenumber=21 AHEM
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Jan 5, 2023 04:19
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this poor guy was sexually assaulted by a female bigfoot https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxwHvttPkXo
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Jan 5, 2023 04:21
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I encountered this cryptid once that scared the poo poo out of me. I was at a lake and saw it just... floating. On the surface of the water, as impossible as that sounds. Its body was white, but it wasn't skin or hair, it was like the stuff that's inside pillows. From its face protruded some curved, orange thing. As I was watching, wings expanded from its body and it launched into the sky! And its dick was huge
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Jan 5, 2023 04:26
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Linux Pirate posted:Nessy is into feet. Is he into big feet? Asking for a friend...
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Jan 5, 2023 04:30
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The Jersey Devil once invited me to a steak dinner at Outback. It excused itself to the restroom and escaped out the window leaving me to pay the bill. That fucker.
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Jan 5, 2023 04:43
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naem posted:https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3892061&perpage=40&noseen=1&pagenumber=21 lol
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Jan 5, 2023 04:58
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these are all good stories and I'm compiling the data from them
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Jan 5, 2023 04:59
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THE MOTHMAN MADE ME HIS MOTH WIFE !
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Jan 5, 2023 05:31
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| # ? Apr 30, 2024 16:52 |
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i once encountered a strange creature in the scottish highlands. it was a cloud of terrible flies. mysterious.
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Jan 5, 2023 05:41
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