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Shinjobi
Jul 10, 2008


Gravy Boat 2k
Cowboys beat Tom Brady and went to bed.



Defense did what they could with a bunch of injuries through the season, and honestly I think they did a drat good job with that in mind. Game really comes down to Dak and McCarthy making GBS threads the bed. Cowboys will be worse next year unless they somehow keep Dan Quinn. Kellen Moore, whatever. I don't think he's a bad OC per se but I think you could find a replacement for him.

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wandler20
Nov 13, 2002

How many Championships?
I think I've watched the final play a dozen times and I feel like I'm just getting started.

R.D. Mangles
Jan 10, 2004


unrecoverable own, the 'boys just got roasted beyond recognition
https://twitter.com/MagicJohnson/status/1617375849996759041?s=20

Crescent Wrench
Sep 30, 2005

The truth is usually just an excuse for a lack of imagination.
Grimey Drawer

lobster shirt posted:

i almost burst out laughing at daks throw lol

I started laughing as soon as Zeke starting toppling over backwards the second the defender contacted him and every new development in the play increased the pitch and intensity of my mirth.

GOOD TIMES ON METH
Mar 17, 2006

Fun Shoe

Fire Safety Doug posted:

Once the folding tables have been cleared away, I’d be (morbidly) curious to hear what fans think went wrong for the Bills after another season of high hopes: injuries, coaching, losing Daboll, voodoo curse…? And is it worse to lose a last-second heartbreaker (although most people on here probably weren’t old enough to witness those early-’90s teams in person) or to get slowly strangled to death like today?

From an outside perspective, and maybe this is reading into things too much, I was struck with how the Bills players seemed really anxious from the get go. Like Gabe Davis was freaking out about a pass on the first drive and slamming his helmet by the third quarter. Diggs was obviously being dramatic. The body language on the defense was super negative pretty early on. They gave off the same vibe of the Marvin Lewis playoff Bengals from a decade or so ago. Aside from Diggs the Bills don't usually seem like this when I've watched them, especially at home.

I don't know if this is a coaching thing or a leadership issue or just the players or the cumulative effect of the Hamlin thing + the storyline that the Bills were going to save Buffalo from a year of poo poo happening to it. But to me it seemed super impactful in terms of energy and execution. I don't think showing the Hamlin suite on the jumbotron during big drives or him going to the locker room at halftime was particularly helpful for them (not his fault obv).

Redeye Flight
Mar 26, 2010

God, I'm so tired. What the hell did I post last night?

GOOD TIMES ON METH posted:

From an outside perspective, and maybe this is reading into things too much, I was struck with how the Bills players seemed really anxious from the get go. Like Gabe Davis was freaking out about a pass on the first drive and slamming his helmet by the third quarter. Diggs was obviously being dramatic. The body language on the defense was super negative pretty early on. They gave off the same vibe of the Marvin Lewis playoff Bengals from a decade or so ago. Aside from Diggs the Bills don't usually seem like this when I've watched them, especially at home.

I don't know if this is a coaching thing or a leadership issue or just the players or the cumulative effect of the Hamlin thing + the storyline that the Bills were going to save Buffalo from a year of poo poo happening to it. But to me it seemed super impactful in terms of energy and execution. I don't think showing the Hamlin suite on the jumbotron during big drives or him going to the locker room at halftime was particularly helpful for them (not his fault obv).

Yeah, I don't think it was a helpful choice, because it put a LOT more pressure on Buffalo to try and be that "Team of Destiny". Everyone's clearly expecting them to turn on the sports movie narrative and win everything on emotional power, when that's based on... really not much of anything tangible (that, and not having Hamlin physically on the field does also make that defense weaker). So it magnifies everything that goes wrong to make it feel like a disaster, and that stacks up fast.

You could see that all throughout the season, too, if not as intense -- I'm thinking of the end of the Dolphins loss in week 3, which is hardly a season-ender and was by one point, but Allen looks like he's devastated at the end. They would follow that game up by erasing the Steelers from existence, but there were no ultra bouncebacks like that later on, like after the Vikings nailbiter, and it just kept putting a ton of narrative and emotional pressure on the Bills compared to basically any other team in the entire NFL.

3 DONG HORSE
May 22, 2008
Probation
Can't post for 16 hours!
You live by the Von, you die by the Von

fsif
Jul 18, 2003

It's a coaching failure. You have to be able to motivate your team to keep fighting when you're down by 14 when there's still three loving quarters left to play.

https://twitter.com/thadbrown7/status/1617575856343334929?s=20&t=Lvcgk498iBizdENh3uhbZQ
https://twitter.com/danfetes/status/1617309172877463552

MJeff
Jun 2, 2011

THE LIAR

GOOD TIMES ON METH posted:

From an outside perspective, and maybe this is reading into things too much, I was struck with how the Bills players seemed really anxious from the get go. Like Gabe Davis was freaking out about a pass on the first drive and slamming his helmet by the third quarter. Diggs was obviously being dramatic. The body language on the defense was super negative pretty early on. They gave off the same vibe of the Marvin Lewis playoff Bengals from a decade or so ago. Aside from Diggs the Bills don't usually seem like this when I've watched them, especially at home.

I don't know if this is a coaching thing or a leadership issue or just the players or the cumulative effect of the Hamlin thing + the storyline that the Bills were going to save Buffalo from a year of poo poo happening to it. But to me it seemed super impactful in terms of energy and execution. I don't think showing the Hamlin suite on the jumbotron during big drives or him going to the locker room at halftime was particularly helpful for them (not his fault obv).

Last week against the Dolphins, Allen started shoving a lineman after he threw a pick, McDermott was freaking out because the refs didn't call a play a TD when it was like, pretty clearly not a TD and I think I remember one play where a DB got flagged for interference and was freaking out about it too.

I dunno, probably overrating this a bit but the Bills seemed really high strung in a not good way.

General Dog
Apr 26, 2008

Everybody's working for the weekend

Shinjobi posted:

Cowboys beat Tom Brady and went to bed.



Defense did what they could with a bunch of injuries through the season, and honestly I think they did a drat good job with that in mind. Game really comes down to Dak and McCarthy making GBS threads the bed. Cowboys will be worse next year unless they somehow keep Dan Quinn. Kellen Moore, whatever. I don't think he's a bad OC per se but I think you could find a replacement for him.

I wouldn’t mind the Cowboys just firing McCarthy and promoting Quinn to HC.

Kurgarra Queen
Jun 11, 2008

GIVE ME MORE
SUPER BOWL
WINS

GOOD TIMES ON METH posted:

From an outside perspective, and maybe this is reading into things too much, I was struck with how the Bills players seemed really anxious from the get go. Like Gabe Davis was freaking out about a pass on the first drive and slamming his helmet by the third quarter. Diggs was obviously being dramatic. The body language on the defense was super negative pretty early on. They gave off the same vibe of the Marvin Lewis playoff Bengals from a decade or so ago. Aside from Diggs the Bills don't usually seem like this when I've watched them, especially at home.

I don't know if this is a coaching thing or a leadership issue or just the players or the cumulative effect of the Hamlin thing + the storyline that the Bills were going to save Buffalo from a year of poo poo happening to it. But to me it seemed super impactful in terms of energy and execution. I don't think showing the Hamlin suite on the jumbotron during big drives or him going to the locker room at halftime was particularly helpful for them (not his fault obv).


fsif posted:

It's a coaching failure. You have to be able to motivate your team to keep fighting when you're down by 14 when there's still three loving quarters left to play.

https://twitter.com/thadbrown7/status/1617575856343334929?s=20&t=Lvcgk498iBizdENh3uhbZQ
https://twitter.com/danfetes/status/1617309172877463552
I really can't fault Diggs, because this is the 3rd time in the row this team fell short, and he at least seemed invested in the outcome. The others just seemed shellshocked: whether they were emotionally drained from everything that's happened, whether they've been reading too many press clippings, or whatever, the team just came out flat and stayed that way. Ultimately, no one stepped up, no one galvanized the others, and we ended up with a game where the Bengals won by 17 on the road, never trailed, and encountered only a hint of resistance.

But yeah, I agree with fsif, this is a coaching failure. The weird lapses in energy, the nervousness, the lack of discipline, the lack of mental fortitude, even Josh's penchant for turnovers seem to either come from or be exacerbated by the coaching.

Nodoze
Aug 17, 2006

If it's only for a night I can live without you
It's weird to say "yeah we came out ready to go" and "down 14-0" in the same sentence

sexy tiger boobs
Aug 23, 2002

Up shit creek with a turd for a paddle.

General Dog posted:

I wouldn’t mind the Cowboys just firing McCarthy and promoting Quinn to HC.

He's not a good head coach. Do it cowboys.

General Dog
Apr 26, 2008

Everybody's working for the weekend

sexy tiger boobs posted:

He's not a good head coach. Do it cowboys.

I'm sure he's not, but if the choice is between a bad head coach who contributes on the defensive side of the ball versus a bad head coach who contributes nothing, I'd prefer the former.

Kurgarra Queen
Jun 11, 2008

GIVE ME MORE
SUPER BOWL
WINS
Really, I think the word for the 2022 Buffalo Bills is sloppy. The roster construction is sloppy: Beane and McDermott understood the team's weaknesses, but their efforts to address them have mostly been subpar: they've turned over much of the offensive line since 2020 to seemingly no effect. Cole Beasley and John Brown fell off (predictably) and the closest they came to replacing them were Gabe Davis and Isaiah McKenzie: both of whom have seemingly developed severe pig skin allergies. It is telling they dragged Beas and Brown out of mothballs, to predictably underwhelming results. They've tried to address running back too, but Singletary has remained their best back this entire time, though James Cook seems far more promising than post-2020 Zach Moss.

They turned over the defensive line too. The only player who had the needed impact was Von Miller: no one else has transcended being a decent rotational piece, perhaps in part because the defensive scheme expects nothing more of them. Tre White disappointed in his return from an ACL tear, and injuries to Micah Hyde (who was lost for the season) and Jordan Poyer (who missed a few games) exposed how nightmarishly inadequate our secondary depth truly is. McDermott and Frazier exacerbated this issue in part with their insistence on adhering to the system and playing within the structure, a philosophy that necessarily prized Dane Jackson's time in the system over Kaiir Elam's obvious athletic gifts. As for safeties, well, Damar Hamlin was the best of the young safeties by far, God bless him, but that's not to say he was much good. The situation was so dire that the Bills traded for veteran former Bills S Dean Marlowe because neither Jaquan Johnson nor Cam Lewis belong on NFL rosters as anything other than special teamers.

The coaching is getting stale. Ken Dorsey was obviously out of his depth in several moments, but the offense seems considerably less flexible and consistent: less motion, fewer screens, less moving pockets, no jet sweeps, only basic motion, simpler route trees, worse situational awareness. To be fair, the offensive line was poor and wracked with injuries, which complicates executing many of these things, but it left the offense dependent on chunk plays to really move the ball, meaning it frequently sputtered out, and made it far easier for defenses to get a handle on what was going on. If Case Keenum had needed to start for any length of time, we probably would have struggled to close out the division, even as the Jets and Dolphins were in freefall.

Defensively, the scheme is very conservative, bend, don't break, but when your secondary is trash, breaks happen often (elite receivers like Reek and JJ predictably have monster games against the Bills). Moreover, modern NFL offenses are designed around being methodical and precise: essentially, rather than attempting to dictate the pace of the game, our defense patiently waits for the opposing offense to make a mistake. QBs like Patrick Mahomes or, say....Joe Burrow don't make a lot of mistakes. The lack of aggression and adjustment was on particularly stark display against the Bengals, but it had happened repeatedly throughout the season, albeit in smaller stretches than entire games. Granted, again, injuries and coaching indecision regarding personnel (particularly their vacillating back-and-forth between Dane Jackson, Christian Benford, and Kaiir Elam) created plenty of opportunities for fatal miscommunications as well.

Lastly, of course, this team was confronted with an unimaginably terrible emotional blow from Damar Hamlin's terrifying injury, and I would probably be willing to write off all this off because of that, if it didn't fit so neatly with the past three years, where successful Bills seasons were predictably derailed by inconsistent motivation, mental lapses, and poor coaching decisions. And now the Bengals have smashed the notion that we just needed home playoff games.

aperion
May 15, 2007

i want to believe
Grimey Drawer
The San Diego Chargers in Los Angeles




Testimonials

quote:

The Dangerwich of football teams

quote:

Staley you dipshit

quote:

I tell my friends I don't like who are curious but know nothing about football to root for them.

quote:

When I want to feel better about my team or my life choices, I watch the Chargers.

quote:

I mean, I like their twitter, I guess?

quote:

gently caress you, Spanos

quote:

They're really competitive. With Rutgers.

quote:

Justin, blink once for yes, twice for no. ARE YOU OKAY???

quote:

lmao your team lost 27-0

Overview
Let's be real, after what we witnessed on the wild card weekend, they never truly left. So, this is the postmortem on this stupid team for brain-damaged people who enjoy football. Why are they like this? No one knows. They are an incarnate monkey's paw that curls every season to find new and exciting ways to disappoint, and this year was no different whatsoever. Usually it involves some clearly brain-dead moment that kind of bleeds into the next brain-dead moment which then bleeds into the next, and sometimes it can get difficult to get a full tally of all the stupid poo poo in one season.

The thing is that no one really, truly hates the Chargers. They are as inoffensive a team as it gets. Forget the Raiders fans who say they hate the Chargers, they hate the Chiefs more. Same with Broncos fans. Chiefs fans barely remember we exist. I mean, it's cute when every so often we pull out some miracle bullshit and beat them, but the Chargers are always kind-of a threat but never put together a full season.

The team itself is stocked with actually good players, and for the third time in a row they have had a franchise quarterback drop into their lap. It's the one saving grace they have, probably for the Ryan Leaf draft and karma is still apologizing to them for that. Yet despite having gone from Drew Brees to Philip Rivers to Justin Herbert and unbelievable stability at that position that makes almost any team envious. Seriously, only the Patriots and Packers have had less turnover in the last 20 years at QB, and they're tied with the Steelers with stability at QB. Maybe like one or two others, but no one else can claim such high-level talent at that position. Other good players: Keenan Allen (WR), Mike Williams (WR), Austin Eckeler (RB), Rashawn Slater (LT), Corey Linsley (C), Joey Bosa (lol), Khalil Mack (OLB), Derwin James (oof), Asante Samuel Jr (CB), and I'm sure there's others worthy of putting on this list but I'm capping it there. The point is that this is a team that should be playoff contenders on the regular.

So what gives? How the hell did they blow a 27 point lead in the wild card and wash out in abject humiliation?

Coaches

In my view, the constant albatross over this team always always always comes down to this. This year, it's Brandon Staley.



This idiot was picked up from the Rams, formerly their defensive coordinator. He was supposed to be a smart, analytics driven guy to bring the Chargers out of the perpetually old-fashioned offenses they ran under their previous head coaches, but instead of being a big-brained chad who whipped other teams with his dick on the regular, he's nothing more than an overthinking smartass who thinks he knows better than everyone else in the room. He calls plays for the defense, and allowed someone else to call plays on offense. We'll get to that moron later. Right now, let's focus on Staley. See, the Chargers defense for two seasons now has been wretched against the run. It's a genuine surprise how bad they are, and at this point we've been able to rule out the players by and large because they've totally changed who they have on the interior defensive line and still they can't stop the run. This ended up being their undoing against the Jaguars, as they steamrolled the Chargers defense in the last 35 minutes of that game.

But if you think his sins are primarily in this one wild card game, oh nononono, goon sir. See, someone important was out for that game, and it may have ended up being the one piece that could have pulled out the game quite effectively: Mike WIlliams.

Why was he not there? I know you know the answer, but I'll spell it out anyways. Because Staley kept his starters in for 3/4 of a meaningless week 18 game against the Broncos. That loving galaxy-brained dipshit only pulled the starters after the Williams injury. He didn't let them play a series or even just a quarter, they were there for most of the goddamned game. Then of course he double-downed on stupid in the press conference afterwards, but whatever. gently caress this guy. He has let Travis Kelce score the game winning TD in two separate games against the Chiefs this season ON THE SAME loving PLAY EACH TIME. He still has a job but really shouldn't. He is playcalling a historically bad defense, allowed an idiot to call plays on offense when it was clear last season said idiot shouldn't, has shown he can't be trusted with big decisions in or out of games, and yet no one inside the building seems to think he should've gotten fired. The reason is simple: they don't want to pay a real coach big boy money. Staley is cheap, that's his biggest upside to them. Spanos is a penny-pinching dipshit who doesn't realize that Los Angeles doesn't give a gently caress about him and never will unless he shows he gives a poo poo about his team, stay massively involved in the greater LA area, build a winning team consistently, and SPEND THAT MONEY. We will get to Dean Spanos later. For now, let's focus on another dipshit!



It's no mistake that Google Images puts the derpiest faces of Chargers coaches first in line. This dumbass is Joe Lombardi. He got fired because he's wasted two years of Justin Herbert's rookie contract on a weaksauce offensive scheme that forces checkdowns constantly because the WRs are going deep. Constantly. He doesn't know how to use tight ends. He doesn't know how to run the ball. He doesn't know how to improvise or adjust his gameplan. He just kind of....exists. And the worst thing about him is that the offense has worked the best under Lombardi than it has in the past ten years outside of one season of Anthony Lynn (we won't be talking about him, he wasn't there this season).

The best coaches know how to scheme with the players they have in mind. Andy Reid, Nick Sirianni, hell I'll take Mike McCarthy at this point! Maybe these guys don't call plays or even design the offensive playbooks, so whoever is under them....yeah. Lombardi makes me think he wishes he had Davante Adams and Tyreek Hill as his WR1/2, the Eagles' O-Line with Derrick Henry, and Travis Kelce at TE. But he doesn't have those guys. He has other guys. Keenan Allen is one of the best WRs for the middle of the field, yet he isn't there half the goddamn time. Even Anthony Lynn knew how to use Mike Williams better than this.



This is David. He's a doctor on this team. He's the dumb motherfucker who punctured Tyrod Taylor's lung a few years ago on a routine injection that let Herbert take the starting QB job forever. I don't think Tyrod will never be a starter ever again. As of right now David is still on the team. Just to drive home how stupid this team is.



This way-too-symmetrical face is Tom Telesco, the General Manager of the Chargers.

He's okay, I guess, except he's the guy who's hired three head coaches in the last ten years. He shouldn't be allowed to stick around to hire number four. That's really his biggest sin is the coaches he allows to command this team. He's okay at getting free agents, he hates trading with other teams, and is okay at drafting. He's hit a lot of good players in the first two rounds over the years, with a very occasional home run draft. To this day, his single best draft pick is the 2013 third round choice of Keenan Allen in his first year. But for every Bosa, Allen, Derwin James, etc., he's got a gazillion garbage tier picks like the entirety of the 2014 draft, Jerry Tillery, Melvin Gordon, DJ Fluker, and more. Honestly I just don't want to recall all the picks that I was once hopeful about yet they flamed out for whatever reason or another. It's too depressing. This has led to the team constantly having issues with depth behind the starters, which every year has bitten the team in the rear end bad when injuries pile up. Every single year. This year was no different.

Clearly he hasn't gone anywhere, and I think next year he lives and dies with Brandon Staley.



I'm not showing this motherfucker's picture. Go find it yourself if you're so desperate to see it. I don't know, maybe someone photoshopped his face onto the Joker or something. Dean Spanos and his two moron kids run the team. They are rich on-paper, and all their "money" is tied up with the team. Alex Spanos, Dean's father, used to have a real estate empire in San Diego, but it appears none of his kids had any interest so it was all sold off when he retired. Everyone just wanted to run the team cuz that looked funner. I guess, whatever. Honestly, I didn't look any of this poo poo up, I'm kind of guessing. The point is that the real estate thing doesn't exist anymore. Dean's sister is suing him and the family trust because apparently they don't know how to manage their finances properly and she's demanding the trust sell the team to pay for all their debt. I'm honestly rooting for her. While I have serious objections to allowing NFL teams to be owned by billionaires at all, I will take almost anyone else owning the team to this human incarnation of an appendix. Not Elon Musk, though. He's the only one I'd rather take Spanos over. BUT ANYWAYS....

Since the team left San Diego, their old disco fight song only exist on YouTube. It was the best, and now it sees no love anymore. It has been since replaced with a new mantra by the fans:

quote:

gently caress you Spanos

So....did anything go right?

Well....they made the playoffs.
Their games weren't as unwatchable as the Broncos.
They trolled the Raiders by acquiring Khalil Mack and he made another pro bowl.
They have the best social media team in the NFL. Honestly they should be coaching the team at this point, running each play off Twitter polls. Couldn't do worse than Lombardi.
They kept Brandon Staley by choice, unlike the Raiders who it seems they can't afford to fire Josh McDaniels....is that really an upside? Meh, I need to fill out this list with something.

CONCLUSION

If you are not a fan of this team, congratulations on never feeling the abject humiliation that we do. Even the Commies are merely embarrassing (and breaking a shitton of laws) off the field, and might even be rid of its stupid owner at some point! They at least have hope. There is no hope for the Chargers, not this coming season, not next year or the year after that. This season is about their ceiling because the owner is a cheapwad fuckshit who could be a real billionaire of he sold the team but prefers squatting in another actual billionaire's building instead. He is a oval office who spurned an entire city because they wouldn't bend over backwards, kiss his rear end and poo poo out a new stadium for him in a spot that would've been impossible to build it. The coaches are mediocre at best, usually incompetent because Spanos can't afford/won't spring for a real coach who can take this team much further. The team itself is always a paper tiger thanks to the GM and the front office. This year's humiliating blunders and unforced errors were new, but just another checkmark on our advent calendar.

This is as good as it gets, and as bad as it gets all at once.

aperion fucked around with this message at 02:34 on Jan 24, 2023

Durandal1707
Oct 11, 2013
I agree with pretty much everything else you said about the Chargers and how badly they poo poo the bed this year, and will continue to do it as long as the Spanoses run the team. One small disagreement though:

aperion posted:

It's no mistake that Google Images puts the derpiest faces of Chargers coaches first in line. This dumbass is Joe Lombardi. He got fired because he's wasted two years of Justin Herbert's rookie contract on a weaksauce offensive scheme that forces checkdowns constantly because the WRs are going deep. Constantly. He doesn't know how to use tight ends. He doesn't know how to run the ball. He doesn't know how to improvise or adjust his gameplan. He just kind of....exists. And the worst thing about him is that the offense has worked the best under Lombardi than it has in the past ten years outside of one season of Anthony Lynn (we won't be talking about him, he wasn't there this season).

Lombardi's biggest failing was the opposite: when the going got tough, he basically defaulted to calling 5-10 yard stick routes or checkdowns. They ran this poo poo constantly, with bad route distribution and the offense looked horribly stagnant for most of the year because of it. The Chargers might have the slowest WR group in the league, not even on just a straight line speed kinda way, but in the fact that pretty much nobody can break tackles and rack up any YAC in the short passing game. Maybe Keenan, but he's 30 and doesn't have the agility he used to.

Basically Lombardi turned one of the strongest armed QBs in the league into a checkdown merchant and they couldn't run the ball worth a poo poo on top of that. gently caress that dude, i'm glad he's gone. The only thing is that I wish Staley and Telesco both got shown the door too.

Acebuckeye13
Nov 2, 2010


If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling
1-800-GAMBLER


Ultra Carp

Durandal1707 posted:

Basically Lombardi turned one of the strongest armed QBs in the league into a checkdown merchant and they couldn't run the ball worth a poo poo on top of that.

It's been said before, but it's still amazing to me that he did the exact same thing with Stafford in 2014-2015, to similar (in)effect, and somehow managed to learn zero lessons about play design or playcalling in the intervening six years. Christ what an rear end in a top hat.

MJeff
Jun 2, 2011

THE LIAR


You want some real irony, guess who this was against.

C-Euro
Mar 20, 2010

:science:
Soiled Meat
Are the Chargers just the Vikings of the AFC?

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005

c-spam cannot afford



Dallas cowboys. :smith:

Durandal1707
Oct 11, 2013

C-Euro posted:

Are the Chargers just the Vikings of the AFC?

They're the Browns with better uniforms, a beach, and better (but ultimately doomed) QBs across 20 years.

General Dog
Apr 26, 2008

Everybody's working for the weekend

Durandal1707 posted:

They're the Browns with better uniforms, a beach, and better (but ultimately doomed) QBs across 20 years.

This feels like real "if my aunt had balls she'd be my uncle" logic. If you have 20 straight years of good quarterback play, you're a fundamentally different animal than the Browns.

Nervous
Jan 25, 2005

Why, hello, my little slice of pecan pie.

General Dog posted:

This feels like real "if my aunt had balls she'd be my uncle" logic. If you have 20 straight years of good quarterback play, you're a fundamentally different animal than the Browns.

Whatever do you mean?

C-Euro
Mar 20, 2010

:science:
Soiled Meat

Durandal1707 posted:

They're the Browns with better uniforms, a beach, and better (but ultimately doomed) QBs across 20 years.

Cross-conference comparisons only please.

Mega64
May 23, 2008

I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.
The Browns are the Browns of the AFC.

Nervous
Jan 25, 2005

Why, hello, my little slice of pecan pie.

Mega64 posted:

The Browns are the Browns of the AFC.

Game-changing if true.

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

C-Euro posted:

Are the Chargers just the Vikings of the AFC?

The Vikings are the Chargers of the NFC

BlindSite
Feb 8, 2009

Chargers are hamstrung by an owner who gives no fucks for glory and just wants to be good enough to make a profit.

Sports owners need to be a little crazy because the rich guy flex of wanting to be top dog can lead to some fun poo poo.

You get guys like Jeff Laurie who build amazing staff and teams but you also get Irsay who puts Saturday in charge.

aperion
May 15, 2007

i want to believe
Grimey Drawer

Durandal1707 posted:

I agree with pretty much everything else you said about the Chargers and how badly they poo poo the bed this year, and will continue to do it as long as the Spanoses run the team. One small disagreement though:

Lombardi's biggest failing was the opposite: when the going got tough, he basically defaulted to calling 5-10 yard stick routes or checkdowns. They ran this poo poo constantly, with bad route distribution and the offense looked horribly stagnant for most of the year because of it. The Chargers might have the slowest WR group in the league, not even on just a straight line speed kinda way, but in the fact that pretty much nobody can break tackles and rack up any YAC in the short passing game. Maybe Keenan, but he's 30 and doesn't have the agility he used to.

Basically Lombardi turned one of the strongest armed QBs in the league into a checkdown merchant and they couldn't run the ball worth a poo poo on top of that. gently caress that dude, i'm glad he's gone. The only thing is that I wish Staley and Telesco both got shown the door too.

poo poo, you're right. I kind of got carried away trying to describe it and lost the original point which you nailed. When I was saying he didn't know how to use his skill players, I was trying to get at that they were being used almost exclusively for checkdowns instead of for actual good uses. Tight ends catching passes in the flat. Keenan Allen working the whole field (admitted yes we saw that, but not nearly as much as we should have). About the only person Lombardi seemed to know how to use to his utmost was Mike Williams. The one guy who was missing for that game.

fartknocker
Oct 28, 2012


Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.



Wedge Regret

Nervous posted:

Whatever do you mean?



This is Jacoby Brissett erasure

John McClane
Nov 14, 2011
the chargers have made a super bowl in the last 45 years

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


And it ended in a blowout

Applebees Appetizer
Jan 23, 2006

Lance of Llanwyln posted:

Defensively, the scheme is very conservative, bend, don't break, but when your secondary is trash, breaks happen often

It blew my mind that Jamarr Chase was running all over the field seemingly wide open. I fully expected him to be double covered most of the time and couldn't believe what I was watching, like the Bills didn't believe he could beat them but they were just inept. Trash indeed, overrated defense that lets good teams score at will.

Anime Store Adventure
May 6, 2009


I know it means “don’t give up big plays and tighten up in the red zone where defense gets a little easier” but I still just mentally replace “bend, don’t break” with “The defense is bad.” You know what the best way to avoid breaking is? It’s not bending in the first place.

Applebees Appetizer
Jan 23, 2006

The conditions on the field made it even worse, like watching a train wreck in slow motion

Kurgarra Queen
Jun 11, 2008

GIVE ME MORE
SUPER BOWL
WINS

Applebees Appetizer posted:

The conditions on the field made it even worse, like watching a train wreck in slow motion
Yeah, they literally came out playing zone, which considering just how talented the Bengals offense is and how little pressure we were getting was a disaster waiting to happen. But then you add in the field conditions and it's even more inexplicable. And, of course, there were multiple instances where players seemed confused about what their responsibilities were - which is how you wind up giving up a field goal in 13 seconds or triple-covering Hayden Hurst while Jamarr Chase runs free into the endzone for one of the easiest TDs he or Joe Burrow will ever have. The fact that virtually every player on defense can't tackle for poo poo and habitually takes awful angles (Milano and Edmunds partially excepted) tells me there's some major coaching dysfunction regarding tackle drills.

None of this feels very comfy when you realize Jordan Poyer and Tremaine Edmunds are free agents and we're already ~$8.5 mil over the cap. Poyer's the kind of player a team like the Bills really should let walk: being an aging player at a theoretically fungible position on a defense that's bad. Edmunds is this weird athletic unicorn who can theoretically do anything and everything you could ever ask a LB to do, but often doesn't play up to his athleticism. He would be hard to replace and is relatively young, but also likely to make more than his play has been worth (maybe he gets better with different/better coaching?)

Applebees Appetizer
Jan 23, 2006

Lance of Llanwyln posted:

The fact that virtually every player on defense can't tackle for poo poo and habitually takes awful angles (Milano and Edmunds partially excepted) tells me there's some major coaching dysfunction regarding tackle drills.

I think there's major coaching dysfunction on defense as a whole tbh, Frasier's coaching has run it's course in the NFL and he needs to be fired. I thought for sure they would come out of halftime with some major adjustments like getting out of zone coverage and more blitzing but nope. It's as tho Frazier never watched tape from the last superbowl, the Rams blitzed the poo poo out of Burrow and sacked him seven times, that's what won the game imo. During the game I kept screaming to blitz the drat quarterback, and think they blitzed a linebacker a few times but that was it, not even one try at a zero blitz against a bunch of third string lineman to see what happened.

[e] I have family outside of Buffalo and they were at the game. I was texting my nephew in disbelief as to what the defense was doing and he was just as dumbfounded as I was. He said it was a long drive home, I felt bad for him and all the other fans there after watching their team lose at home in a playoff game with such a lovely performance.

After 13 seconds and now this, Frazier needs to go

Applebees Appetizer fucked around with this message at 19:13 on Jan 26, 2023

YOLOsubmarine
Oct 19, 2004

When asked which Pokemon he evolved into, Kamara pauses.

"Motherfucking, what's that big dragon shit? That orange motherfucker. Charizard."

Applebees Appetizer posted:

I think there's major coaching dysfunction on defense as a whole tbh, Frasier's coaching has run it's course in the NFL and he needs to be fired. I thought for sure they would come out of halftime with some major adjustments like getting out of zone coverage and more blitzing but nope. It's as tho Frazier never watched tape from the last superbowl, the Rams blitzed the poo poo out of Burrow and sacked him seven times, that's what won the game imo. During the game I kept screaming to blitz the drat quarterback, and think they blitzed a linebacker a few times but that was it, not even one try at a zero blitz against a bunch of third string lineman to see what happened.

The Bengals ran for almost 200 yards, you’re not going to see much blitzing when your opponent is pushing your d-line around and consistently picking up chunks of yardage running. Burrow is also one of the best passers in the league against the blitz.

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Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN
"Just blitz more" sounds easy until the opponent is eating you up on screens and shallow crossers. It's not like Madden where Engage Eight gets home every time.

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