Right away I knew this dame was trouble

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Yinlock

She had arms that could bench-press a school bus and legs that could run 5km through a meter of snow while carrying a refridgerator.

# ? Feb 4, 2023 14:30

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 21:48

Yinlock

We both knew how this case was gonna end, unless you're at the top nobody ever gets a happy ending in a city like this. But when a broad like that is lookin' you in the eyes with those baby blues while ripping your phonebook in half to a power ballad about Jesus you just can't say no.

# ? Feb 4, 2023 14:34

Heather Papps: hello friend

"help me!" she cried, plunging the blade into my body over and over again. "i'm in a whole world of trouble!" she sighed, methodically placing a pool ball in a sock and whirling it above her head before crashing it into my face.
"my dog's missing!" she bemoaned, as her dog latched onto my genitals with his teeth and began to shake it's head back and forth.

another typical monday for this private dick. the money ain't great but the perks are poo poo.

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Feb 4, 2023 14:41

Yinlock

As I finally pried poor Murray's dead hands open I saw what he was clutching so tightly: a love letter addressed to my very client. I remembered back in my office how her gigantic arms had flexed so hard they burst through her coat. This dame was handing out free tickets to the gun show, but did she punch Murray's?

# ? Feb 4, 2023 15:38

Yinlock

Heather Papps posted:

"help me!" she cried, plunging the blade into my body over and over again. "i'm in a whole world of trouble!" she sighed, methodically placing a pool ball in a sock and whirling it above her head before crashing it into my face.
"my dog's missing!" she bemoaned, as her dog latched onto my genitals with his teeth and began to shake it's head back and forth.

another typical monday for this private dick. the money ain't great but the perks are poo poo.

# ? Feb 4, 2023 15:39

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

Smoke danced in the dim beam illuminating my desk as she walked in my door. Her smokey blue eyes fluttered in a way that less jaded men might mistake for innocence. She raised a smoking hand and removed her smoking fur coat. My cigarette spontaneously ignited. She had a body that was on fire. Literally a smouldering hot dame.

# ? Feb 4, 2023 18:15

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

I could tell by the anvil sailing through the air inches from my head and through my kitchen wall that this dame meant business.

I was about to say as much when her flaming shoryuken caught me in the jaw mid sentence, knocking me out cold.

When I awoke the next morning she was gone again, just like always.

Hell truly has no fury like a dame scorned. It's just a shame I had to learn this the hard way.

spring sigs by nesamdoom and Ravenous Scoot

# ? Feb 4, 2023 19:53

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

right away i knew this dame was trouble
"excuse me dear, could you please direct me to the appliance department? my eyesight isn't as it used to be"
i sigh audibly

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# ? Feb 4, 2023 20:24

nut

she was a chameleon not that that is a bad thing but she lied and said she was a human even though, again, she was very much clearly a chameleon again I want to reiterate I don�t have a problem with chameleons hell some would say I like them but I have no space in this small dead end life for someone who lies even more than me

# ? Feb 4, 2023 22:01

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

A set of gams walked into my office wearing a ushanka that probably cost more than the building we were standing in. In broken English she told me she was on vacation from her summer home in Minsk. While sight-seeing, she'd bought some jewelry from a nice lady named Tiffany. During the night her new souvenirs had gone missing from the Plaza Hotel vault, and she wanted to hire me to find them. I didn't want to get involved in an international scandal, but she was offering me enough to cover my gambling debt, alimony, back rent, and a steak dinner for two at Vito's. I could tell this dame was rubles.

# ? Feb 4, 2023 22:44

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

Buttchocks posted:

A set of gams walked into my office wearing a ushanka that probably cost more than the building we were standing in. In broken English she told me she was on vacation from her summer home in Minsk. While sight-seeing, she'd bought some jewelry from a nice lady named Tiffany. During the night her new souvenirs had gone missing from the Plaza Hotel vault, and she wanted to hire me to find them. I didn't want to get involved in an international scandal, but she was offering me enough to cover my gambling debt, alimony, back rent, and a steak dinner for two at Vito's. I could tell this dame was rubles.

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# ? Feb 4, 2023 22:52

baka of lathspell

lol

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# ? Feb 4, 2023 23:32

baka of lathspell

when the dame walked into my office she was wearing an entire lion pride wrapped around her shoulders. she had cold eyes like green jujubes. "hey," i said, "aren't there laws against hunting a species so much it goes totally extinct thanks to you?" by her cold eyes of confusion i could tell the mirthless dame was trouble. its fake fur, she said. but i could tell that fur was about as fake as my hair. which isnt fake. all i could think about in that desperate hour was that somewhere, a big hairless cat was shivering in the cold, unforgiving natural climate of where it lived. when the dame walked into my office and asked where the other guys office was i was already compiling a formal complaint to the SPCA inside my mind palace

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# ? Feb 4, 2023 23:41

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

Heather Papps posted:

"help me!" she cried, plunging the blade into my body over and over again. "i'm in a whole world of trouble!" she sighed, methodically placing a pool ball in a sock and whirling it above her head before crashing it into my face.
"my dog's missing!" she bemoaned, as her dog latched onto my genitals with his teeth and began to shake it's head back and forth.

another typical monday for this private dick. the money ain't great but the perks are poo poo.

lmao

# ? Feb 5, 2023 08:46

google THIS

She was wearing a pair of stiletto heels and had legs that went up, at minimum, to the top of my office door. If my landlord knew the kind of clientele I was letting in he'd go through the roof. Much like this dame's head, presumably

# ? Feb 5, 2023 18:16

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

The doll forged in with the grace of a streetcar. Reality seemed to bend around her. She didn't introduce herself, but as she parted her lips, a reverberating cacophony announcing pure abomination made every orifice of my body hemorrhage. Time and space were sucked into her mouth, consumed into the oblivion that had spawned her horrible visage. Causality itself ripped like a cheap suit, defying the senses and fragmenting all mortal capacity for reason. I was driven to madness, clawing at my transforming flesh as I entered a dimension of suffering and chaos. I knew this dame was trouble.

# ? Feb 5, 2023 19:31

Finger Prince

Caramel almonds covered in smooth milk chocolate... It was enough to make a man want to go to Ikea on a Saturday afternoon.

# ? Feb 6, 2023 02:45

Manifisto

she had a pair of getaway sticks like I'd never seen. I made a comment to her about them and she self-consciously hid them behind her back. "we call them 'chopsticks,' detective," she said, and was that a hint of seduction in her voice, or was it annoyance? "and no you can't touch them. I eat with these things."

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Feb 6, 2023 11:58

Farecoal: There he go

As soon as she walked in I knew this dame was going to be a slight annoyance. She asked if this was the office of some lawyer. I told her no, that was next door. She thanked me and left.

# ? Feb 6, 2023 12:41

baka of lathspell

Farecoal posted:

As soon as she walked in I knew this dame was going to be a slight annoyance. She asked if this was the office of some lawyer. I told her no, that was next door. She thanked me and left.

lol

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# ? Feb 6, 2023 16:56

Heather Papps: hello friend

Farecoal posted:

As soon as she walked in I knew this dame was going to be a slight annoyance. She asked if this was the office of some lawyer. I told her no, that was next door. She thanked me and left.

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Feb 7, 2023 01:46

barfdog

i was just sat there minding my own business, sipping on a nice ale, and in she walks all high and mighty with her "the juice is loose" t-shirt and just goes bonkers: slapping the bartender, slapping the regulars at the bar, slapping me, slapping my wife, slapping my friend jerry, slapping his infant son, slapping the bouncer, slapping the chairman of the union of stevedores, slapping the editor in chief of yob quarterly magazine, slapping the governor's mistress, slapping the police, slapping the judge, slapping the sheriff (but not the deputy), slapping the whole cast of glee, slapping the husband callers of the iowa state fair. nobody was safe.

yeah, i knew she was trouble alright.

https://i.imgur.com/FLpAnfS.mp4

# ? Feb 7, 2023 11:03

google THIS

With her vaguely square shaped body, her sixteen colorful pawns, and her Pop-O-Matic dice roller, I knew this dame was Trouble, by Milton Bradley

# ? Feb 7, 2023 23:47

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

google THIS posted:

With her vaguely square shaped body, her sixteen colorful pawns, and her Pop-O-Matic dice roller, I knew this dame was Trouble, by Milton Bradley

# ? Feb 8, 2023 01:52

Manifisto

google THIS posted:

With her vaguely square shaped body, her sixteen colorful pawns, and her Pop-O-Matic dice roller, I knew this dame was Trouble, by Milton Bradley

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Feb 8, 2023 12:00

Manifisto

when she stepped into my office, her t-shirt read "pineapple on pizza is a war crime." the sign she held said "people who hate cilantro are stupid vulgarians." her lapel pins featured luke skywalker and darth vader pissing all over captains james t. kirk and jean-luc picard. and though I couldn't pinpoint a specific reason, I knew, somehow, that this dame was trouble.

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Feb 8, 2023 12:06

baka of lathspell

right away i knew this dam was trouble. okay, i said, loosening my sticking-in finger, i can save the day, but ill need to be compensated for my time

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# ? Feb 8, 2023 16:12

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

A cloud of misery drifted down the hall. Carrying a skull and Soliloquizing like it was his last day on earth. Something about his mother marrying some no-good palooka, a dead girlfriend, a ghost dad, friends trying to bump him off�.I could tell right away the Dane was trouble.

# ? Feb 8, 2023 19:07

Manifisto

Buttchocks posted:

A cloud of misery drifted down the hall. Carrying a skull and Soliloquizing like it was his last day on earth. Something about his mother marrying some no-good palooka, a dead girlfriend, a ghost dad, friends trying to bump him off�.I could tell right away the Dane was trouble.

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Feb 8, 2023 22:53

Yinlock

Farecoal posted:

As soon as she walked in I knew this dame was going to be a slight annoyance. She asked if this was the office of some lawyer. I told her no, that was next door. She thanked me and left.

google THIS posted:

With her vaguely square shaped body, her sixteen colorful pawns, and her Pop-O-Matic dice roller, I knew this dame was Trouble, by Milton Bradley

Buttchocks posted:

A cloud of misery drifted down the hall. Carrying a skull and Soliloquizing like it was his last day on earth. Something about his mother marrying some no-good palooka, a dead girlfriend, a ghost dad, friends trying to bump him off�.I could tell right away the Dane was trouble.

# ? Feb 9, 2023 00:35

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

Buttchocks posted:

A cloud of misery drifted down the hall. Carrying a skull and Soliloquizing like it was his last day on earth. Something about his mother marrying some no-good palooka, a dead girlfriend, a ghost dad, friends trying to bump him off�.I could tell right away the Dane was trouble.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Feb 9, 2023 02:17

baka of lathspell

that dame was ten cents if she was a nickel. she slapped the silver on my desk with a sound like a bomb blown up by a crazy man. don't spend it all in one place she said with a well placed wink. right away i knew that dime was trouble and i shouldnt try to spend it

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# ? Feb 9, 2023 15:33

Manifisto

baka fwocka fwame posted:

that dame was ten cents if she was a nickel. she slapped the silver on my desk with a sound like a bomb blown up by a crazy man. don't spend it all in one place she said with a well placed wink. right away i knew that dime was trouble and i shouldnt try to spend it

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Feb 9, 2023 18:12

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 21:48

Farecoal: There he go

I could just tell this fam was going to be really yikes, no cap

# ? Feb 9, 2023 20:20

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