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I hope no donkeys will be harmed
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Feb 13, 2023 23:36
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BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:You joke but more like website theater, website, CT
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Feb 14, 2023 00:10
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How about impress your mom by getting an actual date
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Feb 14, 2023 00:19
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Genesplicer posted:I inflate my throat pouch and begin thrumming loudly. This is true because gene is so old he’s a previous version of humanity,
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Feb 14, 2023 00:43
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i can't help but notice you haven't asked me any questions about my 'alpha male' t-shirt yet
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Feb 14, 2023 00:48
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Tell them about all the famous fires you've started then wink and say "Maybe you and I could start a fire of our own tonight".
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Feb 14, 2023 00:49
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Tell her my body count 
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Feb 14, 2023 01:25
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Take out all the condiments from the basket on the table and explain what each unit represents, then provide a reconstruction of the tactics of the Battle of Yavin, in the style of an old timey general pushing the units around on a battlefield map using your fork. Your bowl of soup represents the Death Star, obviously. "KERPLOW!" you exclaim at the end of the 30 minute tactical retelling, finally flinging a fistful of soup into the air, before being asked to clear your bill and leave immediately. Once outside, you don your dashing fedora, and leer at your date. So, your place or mine then? My mom can pick us up in a few minutes.
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Feb 14, 2023 01:26
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I usually show up drunk and just get drunker as the date goes on. No I don’t get second dates but at least I got drunk
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Feb 14, 2023 05:10
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“I am able to purchase food outside of my house that I don’t cook myself as often as once a week!” I say proudly, showing her the menu to FRANCHISE RESTAURANT “PROTEIN” she’s states, her mandibles glistening moistly as she prepares to regurgitate digestive fluids
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Feb 15, 2023 20:42
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did you know the airplane was invented in *checks phone* 1903 by the wright brothers? the first flight was on december 17th in kitty hawk, south carolina
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Feb 15, 2023 20:55
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I'm pretty sure I once killed a man with my car
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Feb 15, 2023 20:59
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tell her that my ex-wife used to say “oh god that’s the best sex I’ve ever had” but not mention that my ex said that after having sex with someone who was not me
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Feb 17, 2023 20:45
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Massive existential crisis between starters and main course
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Feb 17, 2023 21:23
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So after I filled the fifth one, I suddenly thought, why don't I just get bigger cum jars!
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Feb 17, 2023 21:39
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Call me Ishmael.
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Feb 17, 2023 21:47
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Nice place huh? Yeah I take all my dates here. 
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Feb 17, 2023 21:49
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I was conceived in that same chair you are sitting in right now.
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Feb 17, 2023 21:51
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My balls and dick are the same thing
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Feb 17, 2023 21:53
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If you don't like small talk while we wait for the food I brought table tennis racquets (actually a good idea)
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Feb 17, 2023 21:55
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I got ghosted for the first time in my life last week. She was really pretty and invited herself back to my place. I was happy just to be picked out of the herd tbh so I am not taking it personally. I do wonder though what I could have done to impress her more. Probably should have given her flowers or something.
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Feb 17, 2023 21:55
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Insist you can do a backflip. Fail every attempt. Continue trying and insisting you can do it until she feels pity.
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Feb 17, 2023 22:05
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I always have the most vivid and shiny plumage.
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Feb 17, 2023 22:07
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bossy lady posted:Insist you can do a backflip. Fail every attempt. Continue trying and insisting you can do it until she feels pity. This but forward roll
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Feb 17, 2023 22:09
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i ask the waiter to bring me the box of wine so i can pretend im reading it and nod sagely and say something like "ah, a truly excellent vinyard, this will do" or "a 2019? Are you kidding me? This is probably expired, I wanted a 2023"
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Feb 17, 2023 23:11
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Costco Meatballs posted:I got ghosted for the first time in my life last week. She was really pretty and invited herself back to my place. I was happy just to be picked out of the herd tbh so I am not taking it personally. I do wonder though what I could have done to impress her more. Probably should have given her flowers or something. As in she showed up for the date, said lets go to your place, and ran away? In that case I don't think flowers would have helped 
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Feb 17, 2023 23:18
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Nuts and Gum posted:As in she showed up for the date, said lets go to your place, and ran away? In that case I don't think flowers would have helped No the ghosting was when I texted after. We made eye contact at at an edm show and then we danced a minute and kissed another minute then she was like lets go. At what point should I have bought flowers??
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Feb 17, 2023 23:22
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Costco Meatballs posted:No the ghosting was when I texted after. We made eye contact at at an edm show and then we danced a minute and kissed another minute then she was like lets go. At what point should I have bought flowers?? You got laid right? Please don't tell me you brought her to yours and like, actually watched Netflix? Edit: clarification, sounds like a random hookup. Those happen sometimes if you want em. Edit 2: do you not always have wooing flowers ready in your house? Wtf
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Feb 17, 2023 23:24
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She saw the cum jars
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Feb 17, 2023 23:28
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"...so then he says 'They fly now?' and the other guy goes 'They FLY NOW'!" start pounding on the table, laughing, wiping away tears
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Feb 17, 2023 23:57
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so yeah, i bank with Gamestop now...
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Feb 18, 2023 00:00
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put ten single dollars on the table. when the waiter comes by, tell him with a sigh of distain that you need a refill of your chocolate milk, then make a show of putting one of the dollars back in your pocket
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Feb 18, 2023 00:10
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Mozi posted:Call me Ishmael. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ir6zGAD2CRA Edit: I will respond to all conversation topics with a lovely YouTube link on my phone while we are eating.
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Feb 18, 2023 00:43
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syntaxfunction posted:You got laid right? Please don't tell me you brought her to yours and like, actually watched Netflix? I was rolling on mdma it was like 11:45 lol. so.. I did my best.
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Feb 18, 2023 00:52
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in the movie theater protagonist: *tearfully shoots a loved one to spare them death by wolves* me: THAT'S GOTTA HURT!!! *elbows date* protagonist tiptoes across a narrow beam over a deep chasm me: TALK ABOUT GOING OUT ON A LIMB!!! *elbows date*
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Feb 18, 2023 03:27
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I'm so hungry
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Feb 18, 2023 03:41
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:I'm so hungry Stay hungry Stay humble Stay strong
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Feb 18, 2023 05:46
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Pepper cannon.
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Feb 18, 2023 05:48
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Duck and Cover posted:Pepper cannon. You wish pal
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Feb 18, 2023 05:49
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| # ? May 10, 2024 21:30 |
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Get the dynamic convergence just right on the ol tube before we watch the movie. dial in the focus too If she doesn’t leave then i propose
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Feb 18, 2023 06:07
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