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The Voice of Labor
Apr 8, 2020

Turtle Sandbox posted:

I would like to learn more about our Lord and savior, Satan!

that's not exactly a question, but everyone's search for satanic truth has value so I flipped to a passage at random. we get some choice inspirational words from bob larson

quote:

Hate may be winning temporarily in your life, but it doesn't win in the world. Hate loses every time a new baby is born. Hate is defeated each time a doctor performs an operation and restores someone's life.

and a snappy retort from Slayer fan David that would get him banned on the forums, which should serve as a good reminder that while satan may be mighty even his strength has limits and his power, boundaries.

quote:

Personally, I think the whole world deserves to die!" David exclaimed. "You don't deserve to live. I'm not going to kill you, but you should kill yourself. Satanists who worship my god are the only ones who deserve to live."

in closing

quote:

If your child embraces the paranormal.....quickly warn him that the idea of possesing boundless untapped powers of the soul is as old as Eden. Admonish him against assuming such forces are a kind of biocosmic energy like The Force of "Star Wars." It doesn't matter whether psychic abilities come from the soul or Satan. Their lure of pride and power is self-destructive, occult enticements into more threatening facets of the slippery side of Satanism.

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Zeroisanumber
Oct 23, 2010

Nap Ghost
Believe me, if it were actually possible to tap into cosmic powers in exchange for your soul I'd have handed that poo poo over years ago.

War and Pieces
Apr 24, 2022

DID NOT VOTE FOR FETTERMAN

Zeroisanumber posted:

Believe me, if it were actually possible to tap into cosmic powers in exchange for your soul I'd have handed that poo poo over years ago.

you're free to trade your soul for worldy power at any point. I believe the mortals call that an "MBA"

jarofpiss
May 16, 2009

VideoKid posted:

When I was in middle school I played d&d at this Mormon kids house and his parents heavily edited what we were allowed to do. All wizards and sorcerers had to be evil. The only magic users that we were allowed to play were clerics and bards.

sword and sorcery genre purists

The Voice of Labor
Apr 8, 2020

gosh darn bob larson how do you do it. I mean, like, every single page, every single subject

quote:

The writings of Carlos Castaneda, whose books give glowing tales of pharmacological indulgence through the sorcerer Don Juan, have provided a societal backdrop for drugs and Satanism. Castaneda,..., idealizes black magic practices of human-animal communication and sprll-casting. He points out that all such occult procedures are possible under the influence of hallucinogenic drugs such as psilocybin and peyote. Many teenagers have read his books and imitate Castaneda's fusion of the occult and narcotics.

quote:

Before fourteen-year-old Tommy Sullivan, the teen Satanist murderer we will meet in Chapter 8, killed his mother and committed suicide, he made a pact with the devil. "I will tempt teenagers on earth to have sex, have incest, and do drugs," he wrote.

archive comes through. here's the magazine article the above cites. it's the book of shadows article. also life in hell on the cover

https://archive.org/details/spin-38-august-1988

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dg5qmaiiYys&t=620s

The Voice of Labor has issued a correction as of 05:00 on Feb 14, 2023

unknown butthole
Jan 2, 2020

The old customs remain
and the ancient gods live on
He might be on to something. I have played D&D for years, listen to heavy metal, even all those specific bands, love horror movies, and wear upside down crosses and inverted pentagrams all the time and I think Satan rules.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
Wow you must be really good at d&d if you haven't died and been sacrificed to Satan in all these years.

Filthy Hans
Jun 27, 2008

by Fluffdaddy

(and can't post for 10 years!)

Colonel Cancer posted:

Wow you must be really good at d&d if you haven't died and been sacrificed to Satan in all these years.

I always happen to be my squad's final bulwark against TPK

The Voice of Labor
Apr 8, 2020

there is no war but the spiritual war

Zeroisanumber
Oct 23, 2010

Nap Ghost
What a strange world these people inhabit.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Filthy Hans posted:

I always happen to be my squad's final bulwark against TPK
Blackleaf award recipient :haibrow:

The Voice of Labor
Apr 8, 2020

the spin article's real good too, yo

quote:

Police in many areas have gone so far as to organize Satan Squads. Now, anytime a homocide (sic) is especially savage or a teen suicide is seemingly inexplicable, the police stake out the Prince of Darkness.

Private Cumshoe
Feb 15, 2019

AAAAAAAGAGHAAHGGAH
Is air guitar satanic? there's not actually a guitar there it's kind of magical

The Voice of Labor
Apr 8, 2020

p' sure anything that involves imagination is satan.

you know what is absolutely not an idle edge case of satanism though? jojo's bizarre adventure

The Voice of Labor
Apr 8, 2020

unknown butthole posted:

He might be on to something. I have played D&D for years, listen to heavy metal, even all those specific bands, love horror movies, and wear upside down crosses and inverted pentagrams all the time and I think Satan rules.

if this book has taught me anything, it's that the people who like satan who also have extremely religious upbringings are the ones you have to watch out for. there's an inherent bias in the content, satan being a christian thing, and in the reporting, larson hosting a religion call-in show. still seems like a good maxim though

Buck Wildman
Mar 30, 2010

I am Metango, Galactic Governor


satanism is atheism for middle schoolers

The Voice of Labor
Apr 8, 2020

checked the book. nothing about air guitars. closest I could find is air grimoires

The Voice of Labor
Apr 8, 2020

Buck Wildman posted:

agnosticism is atheism for middle schoolers

ftfy

Buck Wildman
Mar 30, 2010

I am Metango, Galactic Governor


why would I worship the people who lost the war imagine being that much of a simp

The Voice of Labor
Apr 8, 2020

better to reign in hell than serve in heaven.

likewise with worshipers of war loosers, such as the confederacy, nazi germany and the united states. their "reigning in hell" is just seeing everything destroyed and everyone dead

Buck Wildman
Mar 30, 2010

I am Metango, Galactic Governor


satan is such a chump that jesus of all people is able to creep in on the regular and poach inmates

jesus. the guy who couldn't even go to the bank without it ending in multiple concussions. solid snake he isn't

War and Pieces
Apr 24, 2022

DID NOT VOTE FOR FETTERMAN

Buck Wildman posted:

satan is such a chump that jesus of all people is able to creep in on the regular and poach inmates

jesus. the guy who couldn't even go to the bank without it ending in multiple concussions. solid snake he isn't

he doesn't creep in he "harrows" hell with a flaming sword and a full suit of Warhammer armor

Buck Wildman
Mar 30, 2010

I am Metango, Galactic Governor


I'm sure that's what he tells his dad when he gets back

Weka
May 5, 2019

That child totally had it coming. Nobody should be able to be out at dusk except cars.
Why does the coward satan refuse my challenge to fight?

The Voice of Labor
Apr 8, 2020

the satan book only references jesus once and it's the slayer song "jesus saves"

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The Voice of Labor
Apr 8, 2020

Weka posted:

Why does the coward satan refuse my challenge to fight?

dude's busy

quote:

The Real Ghostbusters

Like games designed for younger players, The Real Ghostbusters is heavy on visuals and light on intrigue. The game board is accompanied by some minor construction involving an elaborate stairway, buildings, a knight with an axe, and a "ghost trap". The object of is to collect four Ghost Cards and be the first to close the rap at the top of the stairs. Though a seemingly harmless game, it functions on the presumption that ghosts are "catchable."

Contact with the dead is assumed, as well as encounters with ghoulish goblins. Players roll a skull down the shaft when their turn ends on a Skull Space. Though the game's premise is pure fantasy, it implies that poltergeists are not to be taken seriously and supernatural manifestations are child's play. This idea is not overtly evil, but meshes well with our culture's message that satanic realities are humorous and legendary, not authentic dangers.

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