|
i think i am going to go have fun. i am going to go to the shopping center and walk around target. it smells like popcorn here. i will not buy anything. that was fun.
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2023 00:27
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 4, 2024 05:07 |
|
|
The Voice of Labor posted:work's 45 miles away. it takes 22 gallons of gas a week just to get me and my suv to work and back. imagine burning 22 gallons of gasoline, and all the waste and pollution and stuff required to extract, refine and transport it. like, imagine doing that over the course of a couple years or even a life time. I do it every week you're pathetic. you waste your time and money instead of just moving to the city you work in. Idiot
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2023 00:28
|
|
|
I mow the lawn mid-week. My days off are Wednesday and Thursday. All the M-Ferson my street have to stew until the weekend 🙃. I am a mod for Nextdoor.
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2023 00:30
|
|
|
Ok kids, we're going to McDonald's for dinner tonight. Everyone pile in the Tahoe for the half-mile drive!!
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2023 00:35
|
|
|
carry on then posted:Ok kids, we're going to McDonald's for dinner tonight. Everyone pile in the Tahoe for the half-mile drive!! a half mile is 5 blocks. A 15-20 minute walk. Probably longer if you have children. Not impossible but probably a pain in the rear end. It would have been better if you said a 45 minute drive
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2023 00:41
|
|
|
Mumpy Puffinz posted:a half mile is 5 blocks. A 15-20 minute walk. Probably longer if you have children. Not impossible but probably a pain in the rear end. It would have been better if you said a 45 minute drive *Trudges down unkempt grass verge. Cars shoot by at 70kph. A policeman pulls over to make sure we're not homeless without a license*
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2023 00:44
|
|
|
Strategic Tea posted:*Trudges down unkempt grass verge. Cars shoot by at 70kph. A policeman pulls over to make sure we're not homeless without a license* exactly. move to a city rear end in a top hat I left out the comma intentionally
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2023 00:47
|
|
|
steinrokkan posted:Today is spaghetti day (also tomato sauce is an excellent way to trojan horse broccoli into a kid if you blend the poo poo out of it)
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2023 02:39
|
|
|
Wtf is horse broccoli and why would you put it in a condom
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2023 02:41
|
|
|
Yeah I got a dog and should probably walk it OR I can just let it loose in the same quarter acre yard it sees everyday and get crap all over it while simultaneously never socializing it with any other dogs or people I loving hate suburban dog owners
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2023 02:41
|
|
|
There was a post a few years ago on these very forums I believe about how jogging for fitness was bullshit because it was a pain to drive to the park any time you wanted to do it I don't know if his complaint was because he lived in such a suburban hellscape that traversal on foot was literally impossible or if he was just a giant moron
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2023 02:45
|
|
|
Tbf jogging on grass or at least earth is a way better experience than jogging on blacktop or cobbles
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2023 02:46
|
|
|
sudonim posted:There was a post a few years ago on these very forums I believe about how jogging for fitness was bullshit because it was a pain to drive to the park any time you wanted to do it there are almost zero sidewalks in my burb
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2023 02:46
|
|
|
Mumpy Puffinz posted:a half mile is 5 blocks. A 15-20 minute walk. Probably longer if you have children. Not impossible but probably a pain in the rear end. It would have been better if you said a 45 minute drive what is it exactly you are getting out of this thread? just a dopamine hit when you aggropost at jokes?
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2023 02:47
|
|
|
carry on then posted:what is it exactly you are getting out of this thread? just a dopamine hit when you aggropost at jokes? yeah. Do you not know where you are?
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2023 02:51
|
|
|
I grew too many tomatoes and zucchinis in my backyard garden. I will leave the extras out on a little table by the road with a sign that says “Free veggies! Just picked today. Grown organic in the back yard.” People walking their dog will take some and make them for dinner. Someone will leave a note on the back of a ShopRite receipt telling me that they have a pepper garden and theyd like to trade tomatoes for peppers and that they have many different kinds.
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2023 02:53
|
|
|
Extends serial killer spree to Mumpy Puffinz. The neighbours know, they cover for me.
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2023 02:54
|
|
|
carry on then posted:what is it exactly you are getting out of this thread? just a dopamine hit when you aggropost at jokes? he's mad because his hydrocephalic sperm didn't have the tail strength to worm their way effectively into bloodfart mccoy's wife's ovum
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2023 02:54
|
|
|
Extra row of tits posted:Extends serial killer spree to Mumpy Puffinz. Great. Now I have three serial killers after me
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2023 02:56
|
|
|
It is summertime. I am trimming my bushes in the front lawn. My neighbor is mowing his lawn. I hit a wasp nest that i did not know was in the bushes. Some wasps fly out and they sting me and I yell. My neighbor gets off of his John Deere lawnmower and comes over to ask if I am okay. I tell him that there are bees, but they have already stung him too. I feel responsible for this.
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2023 02:57
|
|
|
“People on the main drag aren’t maintaining their fences and it looks terrible! Why isn’t the HoA doing anything about this?” “Violation: you are not permitted to place your garbage cans within visibility of the street. You have ten days to remediate this or a fine will be imposed.” “I saw some teenagers smoking weed on the path behind the soccer fields at the amenity center! I called the non emergency number and they said they’d increase police presence at our amenity center.” “The electric company came and put new lights in our street lamps and they are TOO BRIGHT! Message me if you are affected by this as I am going to complain!” “Traffic out of this neighborhood is obscene! It’s all the school traffic! Put your kid on the bus like the rest of us!” “The merge lane at the gate is for MERGING, not stopping and waiting for someone to let you in people.” All of these are real and posted to the neighborhood Facebook page.
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2023 02:59
|
|
|
Did you hear one of the guys on the HoA board got a DUI?! I’ve been saying that guys been shady for a while!
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2023 03:00
|
|
|
The house across the street and three down has been for sale for two months. I do not know the current residents, which I consider to be a good thing, and I am nervous about who may buy the place. My wife somehow uses the internet to discover that the house has sold. I anxiously wait to see who moves in, but nobody does. The front landscaping gets a makeover from a team of day laborers. The house sells again a few months later for 75k more than it first sold for. The new occupants are from New York City. They are a young couple with a little girl and a golden retriever. I introduce myself and say that we will get together when the weather is good, but we never do.
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2023 03:02
|
|
|
I wonder if bill got a better lease on his infinity than me. I know that piece of poo poo doesn’t have a sunroof. I have a sunroof. I just have a feeling he did though. Always driving around on that riding lawnmower. His yard isn’t even that big. He either doesn’t have a wife or I’ve never seen her. Maybe she’s too ugly to come outside. My wife is so much better looking. I wonder if he’s loving my wife because his wife is so ugly. I’m gonna ask him some day. That piece of poo poo with loving e-razor setting 2 beard and his loving casual dockers, must have some tech job. Well tech this out bill, keep your dick out of my wife. Your infinity sucks and I saw a dandelion in your front yard you shithead bitch. Im watching your moves bill, don’t gently caress up. 
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2023 03:15
|
|
|
*hears some firecrackers on 4th of July* *posts on Nextdoor* "Be careful! I've been hearing gunshots all night. Must be the new thugs who moved in down the street."
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2023 03:25
|
|
|
I hear gunshots frequently, but they are from the outdoor shooting range at the police station down the street. They remind me that I am safe.
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2023 03:26
|
|
|
in seriousness, do suburbs exist outside of america?
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2023 03:30
|
|
|
poo poo, we're out of milk. The kids are gonna work themselves into a tizzy if they don't get their Cap'n Crunch tomorrow... better hop in the Ford F-250 to make the thirty-minute drive to Sam's Club. Geeze, look at the price tag on this gallon of milk, it's a whole half dollar more expensive than it was a year ago. Between groceries and gas, I can barely pay off my truck lease and my mortgage—thanks a lot, BRANDON. I'll just toss the milk jug in the bed of the truck. Thirty minutes back... I'd better queue up some Yellowstone to watch on my way home. JESUS gently caress that kid came out of nowhere! What the gently caress was she thinking jaywalking like that (wait, is that a crosswalk)?? poo poo poo poo poo poo. No, there's nobody around... nobody... just keep on driving... keep on driving.
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2023 03:38
|
|
|
Better roll coal in some liberals and whine when. The government gives out fre needles but you know I'm in this poo poo once the government's giving out PPE
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2023 04:00
|
|
|
*drives to a gym to exercise*
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2023 04:04
|
|
|
Chinatown posted:*drives to a gym to exercise* please don't lie to these people
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2023 04:25
|
|
|
gently caress, did my mom say she lives on Elm or Oak St.? All these shitboxes look the same, it's like a revolving background from a Hannah-Barbara cartoon. Wait, was that it? Oak... Lane? But there's Elm Circle, across from Elm Place? Of course there's nothing on Google maps, loving new construction rabbit warren. Great, it's a cellular dead zone too. Why is it so dark, where are the street lights? gently caress, I'm lost, I can't even remember the name of this place. Eagle Grove? Hawk Crest? Elmwood? I can see the highway lights in the distance, but no roads connect from here. It's 9:00 all the porch lights are off. There are pathlights leading to houses, but the numbers are off. 316 is next to 1668, which is across the street from 688? What kind of name is Pjohnsen? And why are there three of them in a row? It's quiet now. Too quiet and the radio isn't working. I left with a full tank, but now the light's on. Where am I?
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2023 04:44
|
|
|
I'm gonna gently caress my neighbors wife
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2023 04:57
|
|
|
Noped out of the suburbia and now I live in a shoebox but don't have to spend my non-working hours driving in gridlock anymore. Suck it suburbanmailuires!
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2023 05:00
|
|
|
The Voice of Labor posted:in seriousness, do suburbs exist outside of america? Yes E: Canada
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2023 05:10
|
|
|
I haven't seen that car before. It looks a little suspicious, why is it driving so slow? Oh, it's the neighbor's kid visiting, well they better not park in front of my house.
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2023 05:12
|
|
|
I have received a letter from the HOA because I have "clovers in my grass". Meanwhile the guy at the end of the street has been blocking 300 feet of sidewalk for over a month to store over a dozen pallets of various construction materials for his side business. This is a true story.
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2023 05:14
|
|
|
living in the sinister looking mansion on the hill overlooking the suburb. occasionally releasing brain manipulation gas into the valley bellow
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2023 05:21
|
|
|
sudonim posted:There was a post a few years ago on these very forums I believe about how jogging for fitness was bullshit because it was a pain to drive to the park any time you wanted to do it I'm pretty sure that was Muerte. Every year I too walk the walk of Muerte: the walk of death. it is a nice park in marin.
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2023 06:14
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 4, 2024 05:07 |
|
|
I love going into the city to do tik tok dances on the subway tracks
|
|
#
?
Feb 12, 2023 06:26
|
|
