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 I humbly submit a haunted sextant that sleeps in a coffin. Boats and ships can be crewed by monkeys, but only a trained nautical sailor can use a sextant. Therefore it is the most nautical device, and ebay promised me it was haunted. e: I was absolutely asleep when this happened, but is good motivation to he up at a proper hour I suppose. Pacific time woo.
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Feb 22, 2023 17:01
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| # ¿ May 9, 2024 13:30 |
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OFFICIAL SUBMISSION I humbly submit my rock task parts 1 and 2. Here is what happened: I could not find my favourite smooth stone I keep in my backpack, it would have been perfect for this. Instead I had to panic and think about where there were rocks? My walkway!   Hmm, it seems to have snowed. I think my boot can solve this problem!  drat right. Okay I've got the rock now. Now I have to paint it. Wait a second, I don't have paint. Why would I have paint? Okay well what do I have?  Store brand ketchup and a weed brush. Yeah I was in the scouts, its all about improvising. Now lets get to the art!   There, my name with a happy yellow sun I drew with mustard and some of the ketchup to represent the fiery power of our solar friend.  Now it lives on the plastic table where I sit and smoke. It will live there until I no longer live here. Have a good day orbs. 
Charles Bukowski fucked around with this message at 22:23 on Feb 22, 2023
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Feb 22, 2023 22:15
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Thank you judge, very fair. Thank you for taking much much less time than it took Moola to judge the skulls.
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Feb 23, 2023 00:41
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Oh I didn't notice we were picking Taskmaster contenstants to emulate or act as archetypes for us. I've always resonated with Tim Key, cheat to win baby.
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Feb 23, 2023 02:30
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While I am respectful of other cultures and your threats of curses, I think this time your submission just wasn't zesty enough to impress our artbitrary judge(s). Maybe next time you could destroy part of your walkway like I did? No wait that's like exactly the opposite of the lesson of the Uluru you're trying to get across, shoot.
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Feb 23, 2023 03:52
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There's something about you tonight Sloth, I just can't put my finger on it. Some strange, zesty attitude.
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Feb 23, 2023 05:37
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I had a little too zesty of an evening and slept through task 1 completely this time. Oh well, I'm gonna nail this snail.
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Feb 23, 2023 20:01
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Heh, buddy, they don't even let Me gently caress the snailtits.
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Feb 23, 2023 20:08
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Official Submission. I do not believe I need to nsfw because I spent the least amount of time on the tits.
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Feb 23, 2023 20:48
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I thought the weed stem sealed it but I am happy people appreciate any part of it Thank you.
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Feb 23, 2023 20:51
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 Thank you very much, I am glad the sharp racing stripes and various cannabis references were appreciated. I assume the rest of the contestants simply fell in love with their own creations and are treating them to a nice garden salad with zesty italian dressing, missing the deadline. I'm not out of the races yet!
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Feb 23, 2023 21:23
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-mouths softly- Holy gently caress..
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Feb 23, 2023 21:42
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I come from a very orthordox Norilsk Greebmas background so my cards do tend to reflect my background even if I had to flee the community a decade ago. I make sure to include representations of my vermin siblings watching my sacrifice, in this case a message of praise from a friend of the past. I'm wearing my images of primates to remind myself of my ancestors and how proud they are of my ability to create fire, represented by the candles and the flames burning the sacrifice. I know, call me old fashioned. A mighty Greebmas to all, GROW STRENGTH! e: i smell like burned paper now Charles Bukowski fucked around with this message at 23:13 on Feb 23, 2023
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Feb 23, 2023 23:11
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I assumed we were not supposed to call one another out and it was for non players to do
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Feb 24, 2023 02:13
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Yeah otherwise Sloth spamming this own thread with bedevilled was just asking for it XD
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Feb 24, 2023 02:17
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Posting my word in other subforums I felt greatly increased the chance of more people everywhere seeing it here and there and all over the forums. They notice that its me posting it each time. "Why is this person saying everything is 'zesty'??" Then they notice other words being used over and over, in places where surely more common words would have been better? What is going on today? This person is bedevilled in every post?! Are these bots? Am I in a Truman Show experience? ...Am I the Devil? Holy gently caress. See that's what I was thinking.
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Feb 24, 2023 04:13
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 I'm so happy I think I'll share a Tim Key poem. A witch frigged herself off with her broom handle. Her cat watched on. Tired of it all.
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Feb 24, 2023 07:03
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OFFICIAL SUBMISSION This is where the magic happens:  I will be performing a traditional song of my people, cringe early 90's PSA level rap, with a pumice stone foot scratcher, several BBQ lighers, a 45 lb kettlebell, and the vocal style of someone that aspires to the levels of Riff Raff. https://voca.ro/1iDdIJg9bv60 I can only apologize. I'm sitting next to 3 guitars, a dulcimer, a ukelele, a recorder, and a keyboard. I can't use them to make music? My first instinct was to record me beating up a bunch of empty boxes in my storage room, but I need those boxes. Those are retirement boxes. Chuckie B OUT! -mic drop- -goes under the stage where he's hidden a sleeping blanket because I live here now until they discover me-
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Feb 24, 2023 20:29
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Thanks very much, it just flowed from the heart. I liked your song too, I kept expecting Blue Monday to start which got me excited! Good luck as well!!
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Feb 24, 2023 20:44
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I like it but I have nothing to clip the stand to, my table desk is both wood and has too narrow a lip for me to gouge it with. Maybe I'll find some shelves or something I can install and wire it to, get my recording career back on track.
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Feb 24, 2023 20:52
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I find the other submissions to be very zen. And jazz. Zen jazz. Zazz? Behind all the notes you're not playing I hear the sounds of the universe. Good showing all!
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Feb 24, 2023 23:24
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I AM HERE TO DEVOUR TASKS
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Feb 24, 2023 23:59
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OFFICIAL SUBMISSION Cràng cerise au chocolat.  1 oz leftover homemade drambuie 1 oz strawberry blood orange vampire margarita mix 1/4 oz sour pink lemonade concentrate 1/2 mug sweetened coffee ice cubes, listen to your heart Fill 3/4 way of blender container with cola, ignore separation/congealing/curdling, its your imagination, was there milk in that coffee? Shh its trashed time Blend until desired consistency, in my case smooth and frothy.  Well, what's it like?  Its a sweet and delicious chocolate cherry crang flavour, you could totally hide more booze in there but im all out except for good scotch and we know about that hell. Enjoy! edit: oh jesus god what did they drink above me Charles Bukowski fucked around with this message at 00:23 on Feb 25, 2023
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Feb 25, 2023 00:20
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Snuff Melange posted:y-you drank yours?? Yeah it was delicious. Trust me, it didn't curdle. (the curdled whathaveyou blends together to add to the froth, its great. im going to finish the blender.
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Feb 25, 2023 00:23
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alnilam posted:TASK 7 JUDGEMENT DAY Yeah I had a bunch of things ready to clang for the solo but I felt they didn't add to it as much as another verse I added instead. You got to hear 2 bbq lighters hit the kettlebell though as a parting rimshot instead. Also yes, that was a weed device, and trust me it was definitely involved in the song, you heard it the entire time. Cheers!
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Feb 25, 2023 00:26
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 You think I was joking about round 2? This time it's bananular phone time in honour of Snuff.
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Feb 25, 2023 00:33
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OFFICIAL SUBMISSION I posted enough pictures of drinking this stuff. So I'm most of the way through my 2nd of this (i chugged the remainder from the blender after i poured the 2nd, so i guess im on my 3rd) and my mind has changed a little bit. At first it tasted like a sweet vaguely fruity cherryforsomereason chocolate (cuzz da coffee) with a lot of foamy sweet froth. But the thing is you really need to slam it otherwise the blending which saves the drink starts to reverse as it warms and it separates again. Yeah don't add milk to your coffee if you're going to add it to a cocktail with booze and sour/sweet fruity acidic poo poo, its like my obsession with cola milk/pilk but thats another story. Long story short after the initial sparkle wears off, it tastes like you're the second person to drink what was once a passable cocktail but someone decided to lean over you while you were sleeping with your mouth open and BABY BIRD BABY BIRD
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Feb 25, 2023 00:44
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I'm sorry, at this stage in my life I just post and if its even relevant to the topic at hand, amazing. Gonna be honest I've posted submissions only half understanding the tasks.
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Feb 25, 2023 00:55
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BoldFrankensteinMir posted:The puppet dance competition is complete! Watch here: Your judging was more grace effort skill and class and I entered into my submission. I am shamed and I will redouble my efforts. Thank you Taskmaster. Congrats Snuff on winning, you had an excellent puppet dance I'm just waking up, slept in today so good luck to the flyers! Charles Bukowski fucked around with this message at 19:15 on Feb 25, 2023
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Feb 25, 2023 19:09
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Viginti Septem posted:It's been extended to 10AM tomorrow! sorry has the diorama been extended or the flyer?
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Feb 25, 2023 20:32
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Thank you. Okay so prioritize fear stuff (thank you for reminding me to take my anxiety medicine) for 6pm EASTERN time I assume? No wait finish editing photos together for diorama, then work on fear, with ideas for flyer task I slept through. Okay Alex can you brew a pot of coffee for me, I'm going to need some more wake up juice.
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Feb 25, 2023 20:36
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My fear is very metaphysical so I am going to go lie down in the dark and let my mind wander as to how to convey that in a way people could see. And how to make it funny.
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Feb 25, 2023 20:44
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OFFICIAL SUBMISSION Hello I have never made a diorama but I think I got what I wanted to convey. The majesty of one's first outing through the natural world during its rebirth while also preparing for the realities of it, plus getting loaded.     We have our hero, the intrepid and noble possum "lil posso" enjoying their spliff and Miller high life (the champagne of beers) on their nature quest. As you can see the sun is finally out after a thousand gray skies to melt away all the snow that made us sleepy. They have brought their sweet binoculars they got at a garage sale as well as their smart business umbrella they got at a lost and found when it was raining out last. They've also brought their sensibly priced Kabar, portable james joyce, and afterbite for the bazillion mosquitoes that exist now that we don't gas everyone and everything with DDT anymore. Watch out lil' posso, there's a lovely yet dangerous mother owl observing you from afar. Luckily you can quickly fashion a tree limb into human's oldest and greatest tool, the spear, using your kabar you smartly decided to bring. You will fend mother owl off until similarities can be established rather than differences and bonds can be formed out of mutual respect and friendship. Until then, you spin that spear around your back and shoulders and do some sweet crouching tiger poo poo that looks dope as hell and intimidates the deck out of Mrs Owl. Hiyaaaaah, whoosh whoosh. What's a diorama? 
Charles Bukowski fucked around with this message at 21:37 on Feb 25, 2023
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Feb 25, 2023 21:31
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I love that you incorporated both taskmaster and byob themes into your diorama rather than grabbing things from your cabinet of fun and sharp things.
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Feb 25, 2023 22:08
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I think it is excellent!
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Feb 25, 2023 22:17
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OFFICIAL SUBMISSION After taking this way too seriously I decided to just think of one of my many fears and pick one before my head exploded! Internet test told me Fear of Decision Making should be addressed. Oh gosh, its Saturday, I can't call the government today, lets think of something simpler shall we? Something a little more fun. Uhh, uhh, KITTIES!!!  These are the current kitties up for adoption at my local SPCA. They didn't have any kitties in a while and oh boy there's a bumper crop of pretty light coloured ones! Like my ms paint says, how do you choose your new bestie floofy friend that you will be feeding and cleaning their poo poo up and kissing their heads constantly? I needed to go outside and clear my head to even begin thinking on this.  Its cold. Cold and difficult to make a decision about an adorable little poop monster that might bite me. Arr rarrr rarr you vicious beast you're biting me, arrrrrr.  Finally, gazing up into the cold and unforgiving horizon, my decision came to me. Because I was starting at it. Duh.  I'm gonna come rescue you buddy.
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Feb 25, 2023 23:09
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No I would like you to get the 5 and me to get the 4.
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Feb 26, 2023 02:08
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Official Submission I've decided to go very traditional and make a biblical dragon. 
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Feb 26, 2023 19:04
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I really dont hope that
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Feb 26, 2023 19:07
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| # ¿ May 9, 2024 13:30 |
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That's awesome Snuff and all, excellent entries. I'm almost out of dragonish food, im in a blizzard and waiting for things to die down to get groceries. BIBLICAL ONION EYES ANGEL was my first and strongest thought when I opened my mostly empty fridge. I didn't want to just draw with condiments on a plate, though if we have to eat these that would have been alot easier and.. merciful. Your carved pieces of toast have nicer lines than anything I've ever done artistically.
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Feb 26, 2023 19:19
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