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Do they get school shootings too?
We're only here to un-do the damage you've done to our family name.
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Mar 2, 2023 05:39
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| # ? May 12, 2024 14:38 |
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They probably cast magic missle
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Mar 2, 2023 05:39
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Yer a Wizard Master, Harry
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Mar 2, 2023 05:40
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All the houses immediately start betting on which house the shooter belonged to, and it is always Slytherin.
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Mar 2, 2023 05:41
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They kill people regularly, they are torturing children in the school
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Mar 2, 2023 05:41
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i got an idea. let's not talk about harry potter instead of talking about it
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Mar 2, 2023 05:44
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They'd basically be this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-2ZxldMO-M
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Mar 2, 2023 05:47
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kntfkr posted:i got an idea. They're killing! They can't get away with it. The children are being taught incredibly stupid poo poo!!
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Mar 2, 2023 05:54
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If you think the way the USA treats trans children is bad wait til you see what the wizarding world which has literal magic does.
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Mar 2, 2023 06:04
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Hollismason posted:If you think the way the USA treats trans children is bad wait til you see what the wizarding world which has literal magic does. Casts a spell that gets them aligned with their gender so that they don't have to go through any of that? What, are the self-proclaimed activists gonna scream "ERASURE!!!" because the struggle would technically be over?
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Mar 2, 2023 06:20
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How come the wizards carry wands instead of dice?
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Mar 2, 2023 06:28
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Here is an unrelated question about Harry Potter Universe schooling: What happens once one leaves Hogwarts, (or one of the other schools)? Does one go to Wizard University? Wizard TAFE? Can one get one's Wizard Masters or Ph.D?
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Mar 2, 2023 06:33
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BrigadierSensible posted:Here is an unrelated question about Harry Potter Universe schooling: pretty much every adult in the Harry Potter universe seems to think that high school was the best years of their life, so I have my doubts about the wizard tertiary education system
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Mar 2, 2023 06:42
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There's a few transfers to the US schools for an exchange program. God help you if you're from Hufflepuff, though. If they find out you're a real soft boy from Hufflepuff at Hogwart's, your parents are going to have to broom in to eventually pick you up before the year's out. You try to go back to Hogwart's, but it's not the same, anymore. You shy away from your old mates, you get kicked out for lashing out at someone (probably Hagrid) and threatening to kill a Slytherin if they loving touch you ever again.
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Mar 2, 2023 07:01
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BrigadierSensible posted:What happens once one leaves Hogwarts, (or one of the other schools)? Does one go to Wizard University? Wizard TAFE? Can one get one's Wizard Masters or Ph.D? There's good money in the wizarding trades. Don't be fooled, you don't need a fancy wizarding degree and thousands of dollars of wizard student loan debt. You can be making $25 an hour in ten years using magic to plunge toilets if you work hard.
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Mar 2, 2023 07:07
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My mate and me have a good racket going. Lemme savvy you up on it, eh? He's got himself a real shite spell, I mean that literally! He can cause all the plumbings to just clog up. Don't ask me how he done come up wid it. Anyways, that's when the mister and missus of the house realize maybe they've got a problem and apparently getting caked in shite tryin' to clear it out is like being given clothes, so the house elves just can't figure out what to do and drown themselves while tryin' to fix it. That's when I get an owl in my window. I go down to the house, widdle my wand around in the water closet for about 5 seconds, and clear out the mess, elf and all.
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Mar 2, 2023 07:12
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The real money is in casting engorgio on pig’s balls.
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Mar 2, 2023 07:22
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Ol' Ballister Satchback, that lying crock of poo poo that he is, claims he can use engorgio on himself. He also claims to be a blood descendant of both Gandalf the Gray and Jesus Christ, and we both know neither one of them two are real!
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Mar 2, 2023 07:26
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No, I don't care about American Wizarding Schools. I wanna see Australian Wizard Schools.
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Mar 2, 2023 07:28
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Those wands they use in american schools are training wands the kids replace later. Not like those English wizards who keep their wands forever and hand them down like heirlooms along with faded china These kid wands aren't much of a threat, but something you can only get in America are the longform wands. Longforms are the bad boys you need a shoulder sling and forearm grip to use. These wands sport a 400m range and average 90 AKPM (Avada Kedavras Per Minute), and they can be pulled from a locker at any time with your average Accio spell. Dangerous stuff, and normally illegal for kids to buy, but the savvy ones go to wand shows, where anything goes. They're normally out in bumfuck nowhere, but permits are a four letter word there, and they have mods for these bad boys like you wouldn't believe. Autoaim projectiles, solid matter piercing up to 6 inches of steel, and a special silencer you attach to your mouth so you can whisper spells and the wand will still register. Just nutso stuff that belongs nowhere near a school. Yet just last week one was used in the David Copperfield High shooting out in New Jersey. Scary times.
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Mar 2, 2023 07:42
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Hogfart’s School of Pootin’ and Tootin’
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Mar 2, 2023 07:47
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Some dumb rear end kid blew his hand off with his wand, but hear me out: He and his friends went to some underground troll surgeon and took his wand and told the troll, "Put it in me." The troll tried to get them the hell out of his underpass before they further clarified. One of the kids at the brilliant idea to replace his ulna bone in his right arm with his wand. Normally, this wouldn't be even considered, but one of them dipped into their dad's polyjuice potion and had their friend use it to claim he was the kid's mom and okayed the procedure. (There were a lot of questions of why the dad had a polyjuice potion supply to turn someone into the mom, but that's a different story.) Anyway, the wand goes in the arm. What's the first thing the kid wants to do? Just wave his loving hand around and pull out a spell without a wand to act like he was MORE magical than magic. No one even knows what spell he was going for. The only thing they remember hearing was the 'boom'. One of the guys said it sounded like a cross between an 'rear end getting hit with a paddle' and a 'cork popping', but this kid's right hand just exploded. Everyone's freaking out, the 'mom' is turning back into a teenager, the troll is screaming, and to make matters worse the kid with arm-wand starts shrieking in tongues. Yeah, normally in a situation like this, he would have been disarmed (no pun intended), but the wand was still in his arm. You know what you get when you start screaming in tongues, while covered in your own blood from self-mutilation, while 'holding a wand' from inside your own flesh? No one else did, either.
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Mar 2, 2023 08:03
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They'd bully the poo poo out of Harry for having glasses and dead parents.
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Mar 2, 2023 13:09
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Here’s the sorting hat btw 
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Mar 2, 2023 13:40
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Nobody will teach me the "Dongus Engorgius Maxima" spell
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Mar 2, 2023 13:41
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I think they call it school cursings
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Mar 2, 2023 13:43
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It’s legal to posses killing curses as long as you keep the havada in a separate storage than your kavada
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Mar 2, 2023 13:48
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Das Boo posted:All the houses immediately start betting on which house the shooter belonged to, and it is always Slytherin. Nah, their slytherin house is called chuddington. FreeRangeHexagon posted:pretty much every adult in the Harry Potter universe seems to think that high school was the best years of their life, so I have my doubts about the wizard tertiary education system Do they have hosed up British school hazing/worse at hogwarts. Like they magically seal all the new boy waste holes up until he gets an infection or some poo poo.
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Mar 2, 2023 13:50
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Chrs posted:They'd bully the poo poo out of Harry for having glasses and dead parents. "Why is Harry going into his Defense Against the Dark Arts class with extra wands and wearing dragon scale armor?" We're only here to un-do the damage you've done to our family name.
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Mar 2, 2023 13:51
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Grand Wizards wear really strange clothings
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Mar 2, 2023 13:54
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In America the Defence against the Dark Arts class is about rap music.
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Mar 2, 2023 13:55
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Animal-Mother posted:There's good money in the wizarding trades. Don't be fooled, you don't need a fancy wizarding degree and thousands of dollars of wizard student loan debt. You can be making $25 an hour in ten years using magic to plunge toilets if you work hard. Honestly, your better off working in a muggle job and doing quiet magic to get ahead, if a manager gives you poo poo, just rewrite his memory over and over, sure that can cause a magic aneurysm where blood will shoot out all there holes but gently caress muggles.
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Mar 2, 2023 13:56
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ITechnomancers are the loving worst. You could be at it swording dragons but instead you're doing tech support lol
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Mar 2, 2023 14:00
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Will somebody please teach me the "Dongus Engorgius Maxima" spell
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Mar 2, 2023 14:46
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The founding uncles of American wizardry make it clear - everyone should have a wand with as many tacticool attachments as possible.
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Mar 2, 2023 14:48
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American wizard kids need to pay for the big magical feasts, we don't want them getting lazy and entitled or anything like that.
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Mar 2, 2023 15:06
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Dapper_Swindler posted:Honestly, your better off working in a muggle job and doing quiet magic to get ahead, if a manager gives you poo poo, just rewrite his memory over and over, sure that can cause a magic aneurysm where blood will shoot out all there holes but gently caress muggles. this is by far the most realistic “magic exists” scenario although I suppose that a “gated-community/parochial school with class divisions” situation does make sense since that is a thing people do to each other
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Mar 2, 2023 15:24
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Harry Potter and the Frequent Therapy Visits
We're only here to un-do the damage you've done to our family name.
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Mar 2, 2023 15:33
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https://youtu.be/tS3y1Q3mFVw
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Mar 2, 2023 15:42
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| # ? May 12, 2024 14:38 |
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If Hogwarts Legacy is anything to go by, you'd simply transform someone into an exploding barrel and hurl them into a crowd of classmates. Or yoink them all towards you and then yeet them all off a cliff. (Which, apparently, is fine and perfectly acceptable and not as bad as an "unforgivable" curse which might just hurt for a bit.)
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Mar 2, 2023 16:47
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