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Mr. Merdle posted:Why don't any wizards in HP have wicked staffs like Gandalf? Like lol those little wands were beyond lame. Gtfo “This is my staff, this is my wand. One is for fighting, one is for fun!”
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Mar 5, 2023 18:39
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Deki posted:The wizarding economy is pretty hosed, there's like two commercial districts in all of Britain, a comically inept government, a tabloid, and a private school as far as major employers go. Ok but what about the wizarding economy?
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Mar 5, 2023 18:51
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I don't think they had a shooting, but Brakebills got attacked by a dude just called The Beast over and over because of a time loop and the Dean knew what happened every loop and was just like "Well, the person controlling the loop is dead, so if The Beast kills this annoying kid again, he's never coming back to reference Groundhog Day, so that's a win."
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Mar 5, 2023 19:10
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ilmucche posted:Ok but what about the wizarding economy? 85% of GDP was selling Weasley potential death trap pranks
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Mar 5, 2023 19:15
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JediTalentAgent posted:No, I don't care about American Wizarding Schools. I wanna see Australian Wizard Schools. Australian wizard school ended up closing down when it was realised that no one, including the sorting hat, actually knew whether C-word House was for the evil kids or the brave ones everybody likes. Also, just bluntly naming their version of Hufflepuff 'Useless C-word House' was a poor marketing choice in retrospect.
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Mar 5, 2023 19:33
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just finished my online course and am now MAGIC CARPET CERTIFIED BAYBEEEEEEEE
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Mar 5, 2023 20:11
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SatansOnion posted:just finished my online course and am now MAGIC CARPET CERTIFIED BAYBEEEEEEEE
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Mar 5, 2023 20:42
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Deki posted:What I never got is how there was material poverty in wizard society when any ol' rear end in a top hat can create/transmute/copy/steal whatever they want with a basic K-12 education. it’s the same reason anyone is poor in real life, they simply have chosen to be poor. they’ve got bootstraps like everyone else!
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Mar 5, 2023 20:44
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A lot of people will say that, while Rowling's writing isn't exactly finessed or exemplary, the world building is great. I offer a counterpoint: no. Any sort of world you design for a setting that falls apart the moment you actually think about any of it, not even the important big things, is actually bad. Also you know American wizard schools would still ban Kinder Surprises.
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Mar 5, 2023 21:56
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There are no wizard schools in america because americans are too retarded op hth
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Mar 5, 2023 21:58
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I played the Quiddich videogame (or maybe a Quiddich videogame, there's probably a lot and I don't remember the exact name), and the American team wore red and white stripes. Bit of a hybrid American Flag/Wicked Witch of the East thing going on there. All in all there was a very Halloween theme to the American stuff on display in that game. So, to answer OP's question, the American wizarding scene is just Mall Goths top to bottom, and Mall Goths are usually pretty chill (or at least prefer freaking out the normies by being quirky to actual violence).
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Mar 5, 2023 22:20
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The America Wizarding school just banned CRT ....
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Mar 5, 2023 22:21
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syntaxfunction posted:A lot of people will say that, while Rowling's writing isn't exactly finessed or exemplary, the world building is great. I offer a counterpoint: no. There are people who think Rowling's worldbuilding is great?????
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Mar 5, 2023 22:22
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:The America Wizarding school just banned CRT "All references to 'evil magic' in your textbooks have been reverted back to their pre 1964 phraseology: 'Black Magic.'"
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Mar 5, 2023 22:25
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child soldier wars
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Mar 5, 2023 22:26
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The American wizard school implements gender neutral bathrooms so Rowling writes a scene where she yells at their school board personally.
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Mar 5, 2023 22:35
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Everyone itt right now is missing out on how american wizard school would obviously eschew inferior euro-wizardry and stick with the home grown stuff. And just what fills the pages of the good ol’ USA’s national grimoire? Satanism, Necromancy, Ecofeminism, and Hillbilly Sorcery. So not only would we have school shootings but the curriculum would be rather different as well.
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Mar 5, 2023 22:53
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I think most of those were already implied when I said American witches are, canonically, really into Halloween.
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Mar 5, 2023 22:57
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xA-ayM5I4Jw I think this answers all the questions. Tunicate fucked around with this message at 00:44 on Mar 6, 2023 |
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Mar 6, 2023 00:38
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happyhippy posted:85% of GDP was selling Weasley potential death trap pranks Its kinda funny that there was already a prank shop in the HP universe that sold poo poo like an acid lollypop that dissolves your face and candy that causes your balls to explode. And then the Weasley boys were like "That's bitchmade poo poo, lets show you how it's done". And then were wildly successful because wizards are sociopaths. Mr.Acula posted:There are no wizard schools in america because americans are too retarded op hth We're dumb as gently caress but we're not Upper class Brit dumb. American wizards probably just send their kids to normal private schools because you don't need a drat 12 year program to teach your kid to repeat lovely faux latin words.
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Mar 9, 2023 19:38
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Deki posted:American wizards probably just send their kids to normal private schools because you don't need a drat 12 year program to teach your kid to repeat lovely faux latin words. Chad McChadderton: "My daddy bought a wing for this university" Headmaster Plimpore: "FIVE POINTS HOUSE MCCHADDERTON"
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Mar 9, 2023 19:52
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Harry Potter meets Van Wilder coming soon to HBOmax
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Mar 9, 2023 19:57
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do they do wizard drugs at wizard art school???
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Mar 9, 2023 20:57
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numberoneposter posted:do they do wizard drugs at wizard art school??? Yes, I think they smoke goblin pubes in one of the books to get high
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Mar 9, 2023 21:08
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Wizard jenkem, they already poo poo wherever they want it's only a simple extra step
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Mar 9, 2023 21:13
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I wrote this thing a few years ago where it's Harry Potter has graduated wizard school, lives in Hoboken and works for Goldman Sachs and he's married to Hermione and she leaves for some sort of extended wizard thing and he forgets his wand in a subway locker in Grand Central Station and relapses into a chemsex bender and he winds up contracting HIV and has to start taking pills for it and he has to come clean to her miney when she gets back and it ends before you find out if she leaves him or not. I've never read Harry Potter but I'm willing to bet my version has more meth and cum in it.
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Mar 9, 2023 21:49
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i dont know poo poo about american wizards OP but didnt they have to change the name of the first book because they thought americans were too dumb to understand "philosophers stone"
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Mar 9, 2023 21:51
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loving they
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Mar 9, 2023 21:51
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"Musta left me wand on the tube, innit? Bollocks!" ~ Harry Potter
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Mar 9, 2023 21:53
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Panic! At The Tesco posted:i dont know poo poo about american wizards OP but didnt they have to change the name of the first book because they thought americans were too dumb to understand "philosophers stone" Dicksucka's Stone
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Mar 9, 2023 21:55
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:Dicksucka's Stone no wonder everyone wanted that stone so bad if it suck your dick
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Mar 9, 2023 21:55
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numberoneposter posted:do they do wizard drugs at wizard art school??? After that many years of Herbology classes, only the lamest loving wizards wouldn't do wizard drugs
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Mar 9, 2023 21:56
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fentanyl is a real problem in wizard school
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Mar 9, 2023 21:57
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Big plot hole: where did hogwarts students learn like, regular spells? They had potions, astronomy, fortune telling, zoology etc. but no department for just the regular spells they'd always use.
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Mar 9, 2023 22:19
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the folding laundry spell
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Mar 9, 2023 22:25
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The wizard preschool duh
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Mar 9, 2023 22:47
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numberoneposter posted:the folding laundry spell Aka: one of the most brutal killing spells if you cast it at clothing that someone is wearing.
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Mar 9, 2023 22:49
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Pekinduck posted:Big plot hole: where did hogwarts students learn like, regular spells? They had potions, astronomy, fortune telling, zoology etc. but no department for just the regular spells they'd always use. Charms and Transfiguration class.
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Mar 9, 2023 23:03
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Ah no wonder it was never mentioned
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Mar 9, 2023 23:07
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Applewhite posted:Charms and Transfiguration class. Forgot about charms. Fair enough.
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Mar 10, 2023 00:46
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