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i saw a Suspicious person walking near my hojme. they dont live in this neighbourhood. how can we stop this from happening again. safety!!!!
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Apr 12, 2023 01:16
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| # ? May 6, 2024 14:42 |
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HOAaaayyyyyyyyy I'm homeownin' ova heah!
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Apr 12, 2023 01:23
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DeadFatDuckFat posted:Hello, I got this letter saying that my sprinklers were the incorrect color "Rich Black" as opposed to the required "Midnight Black"? No black allowed in an HOA buddy
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Apr 12, 2023 02:28
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Isn't 'homeowners' one loving word? So it's an HA. The whole concept was clearly invented by morons
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Apr 12, 2023 03:32
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Play posted:Isn't 'homeowners' one loving word? So it's an HA. The whole concept was clearly invented by morons you have to pronounce the 'meow' distinctly
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Apr 12, 2023 03:42
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dee eight posted:you have to pronounce the 'meow' distinctly 
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Apr 12, 2023 04:45
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i think i saw a coyote posting in games last night. please everyone, watch your pets
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Apr 12, 2023 04:47
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Nooner posted:Everyone needs to park their cars in their garages otherwise people are gonna think a bunch of Puerto Ricans live around here legal team says we gotta use the slogan "first driveways, next yards!", the puerto rican thing didnt fly. apparently we cant say the racism out loud or they can sue our balls off, and then they really could live here, right? My Spirit Otter fucked around with this message at 05:07 on Apr 12, 2023 |
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Apr 12, 2023 05:05
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i dont post on Nextdoor.com because its not worried enough about the changes in the area. its not concerned enough about the "new people" moving in
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Apr 12, 2023 05:05
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can we make it illegal to drive a car manufactured prior to 2022 or what
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Apr 12, 2023 05:06
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we ain't scared HOA we ain't scared HOA we ain't scared HOA
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Apr 12, 2023 05:19
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poo poo I thought this was the horny orgasm addicts meeting
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Apr 12, 2023 05:35
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Les Os posted:poo poo I thought this was the horny orgasm addicts meeting You’re still in the right place, my man. I’ll have security buzz you in at the gate, and then you can just head right to the shed in my backyard.
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Apr 12, 2023 05:37
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Bloodfart McCoy posted:You’re still in the right place, my man. I’ll have security buzz you in at the gate, and then you can just head right to the shed in my backyard. oh so you're admitting that eyesore is a shed now?
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Apr 12, 2023 05:42
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Okay, topic up for a vote on tonight's meeting: Passing Amendment 37. As many of you remember, we passed amendment 34 a few years back. If you've forgotten, here are my general notes on it from the time: 'Amendment 34', which would nullify Amendment 15, which permitted the placement of, and I quote, "Small satellite dishes no larger than 1.5 feet in radius may be placed on property" and nullify Amendment 18, which, and I quote "only permitted the placement of satellite dishes as described in Amendment 15 in areas of a residence that could not be seen from sidewalks or roadways from a 15-degree cone of vision from the sidewalk property line of a residence" and also stated that "satellite dishes visible within the cone of vision of such a separate residence other than the one it is placed, within reason." It would also nullify Amendment 23, which states, "Homes may only have, at most, ONE satellite dish on their property, so long as it meets the guidelines set forth by Amendments 15 and 18." Amendment 34 nullifying the three other amendments will be accomplished via no longer allowing any sort of visible or obscured "antenna or satellite dish reciever or transmitter to be placed in the exterior of the residence" and homeowners that refuse to comply will be faced with fines of $100 a month until removed." Well, as many of you have noticed, the city started to offer a low-cost high speed wireless internet option that required the outdoor mounting of a line-of-sight antenna device for best reception and until we get this, we're all stuck with XFinity. Please, I ask those of you with East-facing windows on your second floors to stop voting against this Amendment just to spite the rest of us. Your problem is with the HOA, not your neighbors, and they're the ones you're hurting if you don't vote to pass this!
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Apr 12, 2023 05:49
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JediTalentAgent posted:Okay, topic up for a vote on tonight's meeting: Passing Amendment 37. Hey guys, I bought a new lawn statue. 
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Apr 12, 2023 05:58
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Jelly posted:*rips open shirt showing multiple sticks of dynamite taped to his chest*
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Apr 12, 2023 06:02
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Hi, I'm a middle-aged white female who was once wronged by a minority. Now, I'm interested in punitively oppressing all minorities through overt legal means. Is there a way I can do this without having to formally disclose my bigotry? I'm not interested in facing the consequences of my actions, and if you confront me in public I'll strangle and kill an animal on my way home. Kind regards, Janice
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Apr 12, 2023 06:03
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Killed a Girl in 96 posted:Hi, I'm a middle-aged white female who was once wronged by a minority. Now, I'm interested in punitively oppressing all minorities through overt legal means. Is there a way I can do this without having to formally disclose my bigotry? I'm not interested in facing the consequences of my actions, and if you confront me in public I'll strangle and kill an animal on my way home. to join the hoa committee you must first slay a current member in personal combat
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Apr 12, 2023 06:12
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My Spirit Otter posted:to join the hoa committee you must first slay a current member in personal combat i'm going to bake a pie and disown my lesbian daughter
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Apr 12, 2023 06:16
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Show of hands, how many of us actually 'own' these houses? How many of you are still paying the mortgages on them? Yeah, I thought so... This is Mr. Morris and his associates representing Quickloans, First National Bank, Second National Bank, Rocketloan, Third National Back, and... Well, here's the thing, as the actual 'home owners' they're going to be in charge of all the HOA stuff going forward. I trust they will be just as good stewards for this community as we residents have been... have been... when passing and enforcing... I'm sorry, I can't do this...
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Apr 12, 2023 06:17
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What is it that you don't understand? No doing auto repairs in your driveway! I don't give a good God damned if it WAS only a license plate bulb!
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Apr 12, 2023 06:19
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sorry, i do my banking with milburn drysdale and he assures me and my kin that that house is ours fair and square
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Apr 12, 2023 06:21
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JediTalentAgent posted:What is it that you don't understand? No doing auto repairs in your driveway! Yet another reason why people in this neighborhood shouldn't be allowed to drive cars manufactured before 2022, just take it to the dealership like a normal person 
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Apr 12, 2023 06:34
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*shits in neighbor's yard again*
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Apr 12, 2023 06:34
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No! No you don't! NO! YOU DON'T! If the power company comes around here and installs a charging station for your Tesla, you won't have to worry about the car setting your house on fire because I'll do the job first!
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Apr 12, 2023 06:37
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I don't know why I can't run a business out of my home! Half the people in here are already WORKING from home, how is my work any different?! It's not like I'm going to be running a WHOREHOUSE!
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Apr 12, 2023 06:54
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PROPOSED SAHOA BYLAWS 1. These initial bylaws are hereby proposed to the SA membership for ratification, by simple majority vote and/or bribery. Any adjuncts, additions, changes, manipulations, arguments, tangents, corollaries, subtexts, updates, analogues, demonstrations, or mime interpretations are likewise subject to ratification by the body politic herein, because everyone hates f*cking mimes. 2. No thread and/or comment may have grass longer than 1" except on every second Wednesday, or whatever crazy sh*t previous commenters said. Weeds are only allowed if you are acquainted with an admin or IK, and even then you may still get probed because getting kicked from SA is like a sport apparently. 3. NIMBY rules apply; no homeless, indigent, unemployed or otherwise insolvent persons are allowed to post comments. This is America god dammit, and we HATE poor people. 4. Holiday light displays must be in red and green ONLY. Orange stresses eveyone out, blacklights show everyone's hidden clothing stains, blue makes eveyone look like a John Wick movie, white light scares the sh*t out of my ferrets, and yellow is just plain disgusting. Purple is allowed, but only if you're distributing MDMA. 5. Panegyrics concerning the earlier years of SA are scheduled for the third Thursday of every fourth month in years divisible by seven. Please consult the Panegyric Calendar for your chance to really make an impactful difference to the SA community by posting an endless boring old-person's comment that most people will simply scroll past while pausing only to note your username and avoid you afterward. 6. No textual edifice may be constructed of the following materials: - intimate badinage - sarcastic remarks - cloistered innuendo - luxurious banter - frivolous persiflage - piquant raillery - other dextrous wordplay* (see below) 7. Soccer is way too slow and sometimes you can sit through an entire goddam 90 minute game with no scoring. Who in the raspberry-flavoured f*ck ever wants to do that? 8. Rob made me put this in before he'd give me another beer: No girls named 'Mae'. I guess he must have caught a bad one. 9. Flagpoles over 200 feet must be erected in the middle of the night with no advance permission. 10. No cars more than 5 years old may be parked in community driveways unless they leak oil. Harley-Davidson motorcycles must be parked in driveways because they ALL leak oil. SIGNED Stephen W. Falken [I LOVE OUR HOA DEEPLY AND TENDERLY]  * below
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Apr 12, 2023 07:16
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I have a legally protected right to erect a ham radio tower and I intend to do it right in my front yard at maximum size.
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Apr 12, 2023 07:25
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“Sorry, but rules state that all vehicles must be in the garage after 9pm. And no, I don’t know what third shift is and I don’t want to know”
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Apr 12, 2023 09:50
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Too poor to own but doing good enough to rent and still have an HOA somehow. Like being too big for the tea cup ride but too small for the roller coaster
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Apr 12, 2023 09:52
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Lucy, your wheelchair ramp is ugly and is an unauthorized addition, you're going to have to get rid of it, you can just go around to your back door to get in.
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Apr 12, 2023 09:54
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MikeJF posted:Lucy, your wheelchair... is ugly and [you're] an unauthorized addition, you're going to have to get [out].
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Apr 12, 2023 11:25
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"You must all put up these MAGA flags or you will be heavily fined"
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Apr 12, 2023 11:40
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Revins posted:Someone put some new flowers in their garden without consulting everyone first!! how could someone be so self centered? what is going on in this neighborhood now now, the crazy cat lady who is the only person allowed to rent someone else’s condo unit (because she is friends with the hoa president) should be allowed to wander around the entire property all all hours of the day and night, digging up plants and planting tulip bulbs right outside ground floor windows and peering inside furthermore if she feels like cutting down trees and planting new ones randomly that is also ok she has lots of time in her hands because she is on disability after having every joint surgically replaced and can’t work for months at a time when she starts commenting on people’s lives inside their homes that she sees as she stoops and grunts loudly flinging earth with a trowel that is just being neighborly oh and that empty unit? she can go nuts and cover it all with her plants too and the fact that she uses the outside hose spigot and sprays the open windows with water because her plants are right up against your house, and it ruins your carpet, well why are your windows open? yes, she can fill the entrance and every stairwell with nick nacks, until it is a fire hazard that the fire department fines us for when the unit owner finds out her cats aren’t housebroken and she lives like a hoarder and open bags of potting soil the cats have used as a toilet cover every surface, and decides to sell the badly damaged unit and she has to move out, she has full permission to come back a couple times even when not renting here anymore and dig around because those tulip bulbs cost money and maybe she wants some trees yes she can completely fill the dumpster repeatedly with cat urine soaked furnishings and gardening equipment and kitschy holiday decorations, yes that is going to cost the HOA money, yes that is you the owners, no you can’t complain (true story)
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Apr 12, 2023 15:39
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Look, I know Mr.Hubbard isn't a part of the HOA due to opting out when we created it, but we gotta figure out how to stop him from mowing every morning at 3am. .. Could we hire an assassin?
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Apr 12, 2023 23:55
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So as you all might be aware, an anonymous email was sent out to the HOA mailing list with a picture and description of a suspicious person walking along the trails with a camera near the end of Mayberry St. The cops did arrive and upon questioning, it turns out it’s Mr. Davis’ grandson. Mr Davis is quite upset, and well, we all know what the climate of the country is, given George Floyd…and others. We’d like to not involve press, as it might tarnish our neighborhoods reputation, so the HOA is prepared to give Mr Davis a free voucher to the golf course for the week and $20 off dues next month.
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Apr 13, 2023 00:15
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dk2m posted:So as you all might be aware, an anonymous email was sent out to the HOA mailing list with a picture and description of a suspicious person walking along the trails with a camera near the end of Mayberry St. The cops did arrive and upon questioning, it turns out it’s Mr. Davis’ grandson. Mr Davis is quite upset, and well, we all know what the climate of the country is, given George Floyd…and others. We’d like to not involve press, as it might tarnish our neighborhoods reputation, so the HOA is prepared to give Mr Davis a free voucher to the golf course for the week and $20 off dues next month. Score!
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Apr 13, 2023 00:23
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HELLO HOA I AM WRITING TO YOU WITH AN URGENT MATTER, I AM NOT RACIST I AM NOT RACIST HOWEVER I AM CONCERNED BY THE PRESENCE OF AN INDIVIDUAL THAT I SAW OUTSIDE THE OTHER DAY. HE WAS NOT WITHIN THE HOA'S ZONING, THIS WAS AT THE HOME DEPOT, BUT I WAS LOUDLY TOLD TO "STOP USING THE DISPLAY GRILLS" BY THE "MANAGER" WHO I BELIEVE WAS LATINO OR POSSIBLY EVEN A LIGHT SKINNED BLACK MAN. THIS IS CONCERNING TO ME AND I DO NOT THINK THE HOME DEPOT ON COMMERCIAL DRIVE SHOULD BE HAVING THIS MAN REPRESENT THEIR STORE AND ARE WE SURE THIS ISN'T INVITING THESE KINDS OF PEOPLE INTO OUR NEIGHBORHOOD WITH THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR RUNNING RAMPANT ACROSS THE TOWN? BY THESE PEOPLE I MEAN VERY RUDE "MANAGERS" AGAIN I AM NOT RACIST HE JUST HAPPENS TO BE DARKER SKINNED I AM JUST SAYING I AM JUST SAYING IT'S STATISTICALLY PROVEN TH-
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Apr 15, 2023 22:23
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| # ? May 6, 2024 14:42 |
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We are all glad to see Spring make its arrival, however, please note that all homeowners currently displaying a seasonal flag whose colors and/or imagery fall under our "winter" guidelines must now rotate it out in favor of more seasonally-appropriate decor. Snowflakes are out, flowers are in! Please be advised Easter bunnies and eggs are only permitted to remain up to 30 days after Easter Sunday, as per our regulations regarding Christian holidays. Seasonal flag rotation is very important to the core values of our HOA. Last year the constant-offender house on Mulwood Avenue left its Thanksgiving cornucopia out until mid-March, which was a shame and a disgrace. We cannot allow our neighborhood to look as if we don't know what month it is.
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Apr 17, 2023 14:49
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