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THE HOUSE AT THE END OF THE LANE HAS HAD A GODDAMN PUMPKIN DECORATION UP SINCE OCTOBER. I AM DEMANDING IT BE TAKEN DOWN OR THEY LEAVE
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Apr 17, 2023 15:40
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What brand of caliper do you all prefer for measuring lawn length?
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Apr 17, 2023 15:49
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super nailgun posted:What brand of caliper do you all prefer for measuring lawn length? My dick is 1.25 inches, so if it doesn’t touch dirt then the grass is too long.
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Apr 17, 2023 15:58
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Bloodfart McCoy posted:My dick is 1.25 inches, so if it doesn’t touch dirt then the grass is too long. Same except mine is really long so I let it drag along the ground and once the grass is higher than my ridge I know it needs to be cut
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Apr 17, 2023 16:00
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Lamebot posted:Look, I know Mr.Hubbard isn't a part of the HOA due to opting out when we created it, but we gotta figure out how to stop him from mowing every morning at 3am. .. Could we hire an assassin? The idea of an hoa sourcing a ninja to murder a meth addict mowing his lawn in the morning is one of the funniest things i'll think about today
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Apr 17, 2023 16:10
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BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:Same except mine is really long so I let it drag along the ground and once the grass is higher than my ridge I know it needs to be cut Glad to know we’re in the same boat!
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Apr 17, 2023 16:31
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Mrs. Jensen across from me trims her younger childrens' hair. And while my repeated calls to CPS have not had the correct results I think we can evict them for running an industrial operation from her home.
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Apr 17, 2023 16:40
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so the (other) mentally unstable retired lady, the one who wanders up and down the block peering at anyone using a dumpster and threatening to call the police if she doesn’t recognize you? well she called the police when a resident got a new car and parked in their own parking spot. You know, the one that that has their house number spray painted on it. She didn’t recognize the car and refused to believe the resident. well the police arrived and were annoyed, the lady threw a fit and started a harassment campaign on city government until they got angry and sent a crew to paint over all the parking spot numbers saying that we aren’t allowed to paint because the spots are connected to a city street and anyone can park there now. then another resident pointed out that the parking spots are the property of the homeowners and they threatened to sue the city and the lady for damaging property, until the city agreed to come repaint numbers on top of the little paint rectangles where the old numbers used to be. but the rectangles weren’t even and square so the lady threw a fit and then figured out which residents complained, and began harassing them all in person outside their houses until. they all filed restraining orders against her and she can’t walk on the sidewalk behind hoa houses anymore. the city got so annoyed they did more research and decided to just come paint over the new numbers again with even more rectangles of paint (even more uneven) until a court case could decide the status of parking. to date no court case has been filed, probably because everyone is really enjoying seeing the lady scowl at the crooked paint rectangles and having to take the long way around to the dumpsters (true story)
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Apr 17, 2023 17:43
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I have this sudden urge to buy the ugliest garden ornament and put it on display for all the neighbors to see.
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Apr 17, 2023 18:16
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naem posted:
This is what society gets us. And there are some who would abandon this for barbarous primitivism.
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Apr 18, 2023 00:06
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naem posted:so the (other) mentally unstable retired lady, the one who wanders up and down the block peering at anyone using a dumpster and threatening to call the police if she doesn’t recognize you? Lmao
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Apr 18, 2023 00:19
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To whom it may concern (and also the rest of you): Those continuing to judge me for exercising my G*d and state given right to walk my dog in the morning with my robe un-fastened are as of this date guilty of harassment. I have filed motions federally and at the state level, via email, as of 12:01 AM Zulu.
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Apr 18, 2023 01:05
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SA should create a HOA like regulatory board to regulate usernames and avatars to ensure they are up to standards.
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Apr 18, 2023 01:13
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Willatron posted:THE HOUSE AT THE END OF THE LANE HAS HAD A GODDAMN PUMPKIN DECORATION UP SINCE OCTOBER. I AM DEMANDING IT BE TAKEN DOWN OR THEY LEAVE Nobody is taking any authority on the pumpkin, so I took matters into my own hands and lost fingat. This HOA sucks.
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Apr 18, 2023 02:23
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OB-GYN Kenobi posted:SA should create a HOA like regulatory board to regulate usernames and avatars to ensure they are up to standards. We probably already have that. Who do you think red text comes from?
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Apr 18, 2023 02:31
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The Butcher posted:Nobody is taking any authority on the pumpkin, so I took matters into my own hands and lost fingat. This HOA sucks. you didn't have to shoot the puckin
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Apr 18, 2023 02:37
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Yeah? If not who, then who will? Want a cop to shoot their dick off or a kill a kid? And who will take care of the pumpkins?
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Apr 18, 2023 03:40
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OB-GYN Kenobi posted:SA should create a HOA like regulatory board to regulate usernames and avatars to ensure they are up to standards. the SA HOA is called SAD
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Apr 18, 2023 08:03
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N. Senada posted:This is what society gets us. And there are some who would abandon this for barbarous primitivism. My neighborhood has a cat owned by a family who has a loose idea of pet ownership. Ergo it chills out all the time with other families and shamelessly goes from one house to the next soliciting affection and statements of how awesome he is. Outdoor cats are banned by the city. In the spirit of living in the one place that doesnt have an HOA, we've all agreed to not snitch on Big Smokey.
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Apr 18, 2023 08:15
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Dear members, I was out for a walk yesterday when I heard some faint MOANING coming from a slightly open window on Cherry st. I won't name and shame the people, but its the house with the blue trim and they have two Hyundais in the driveway (a separate issue that we'll address at another time). Well, thinking that someone was in pain or distress and needed help, I went up to the window and listening closer I heard the distinctive sounds of two people having SEX. FORNICATION! I stood by their open window (which I opened further just to make sure that I was hearing what I thought I was hearing) listening for a good 15 minutes and they were definitely FORNICATING! Well, its bad enough that in this CHRISTIAN country, in our CHRISTIAN state, CHRISTIAN county, and CHRISTIAN town that the couple in question are living together without being married, a sin in and of itself, but they are also having PRE-MARITAL SEX! I know its not ILLEGAL for them to do this, but I think we need to stop this before our CHILDREN are made aware of it. Is there ANYTHING we can do to get them to stop? I was thinking a well thought out letter with a petition signed by everyone else in the HOA might get them to either change their ways (and get married before she gets PREGNANT) or they would move out and some more RESPECTABLE people who obey the laws of GOD and his COMMANDMENTS would move in. Sincerely Karen Johnson (Kirk's wife:))
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Apr 18, 2023 21:00
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Dear HOA member, Approximately 10 years ago, the stretch of road along the rear of the complex was significantly damaged by leaking hydraulic fluid from a garbage truck. The HOA received a settlement of $35,000 at that time to repair the road. Due to being preoccupied with enforcing HOA codes, we have not had a chance to repair the road until now, 10 years later. Multiple quotes to get the road repaired are over $100,000. The settlement we received was final and binding and we cannot seek more damages now. Even expending our bank funds will not cover the cost of the repairs. As such, we are assessing a $450 one time fee to all homeowners to cover the shortfall. Please pay as soon as possible. Thank you.
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Apr 18, 2023 22:59
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Raere posted:Dear HOA member, This dingus here has a lot of good real life stories about HOAs and their members being nuts. Truth is stranger than fiction when you put a whole lot of olds who aren’t otherwise working in charge of things
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Apr 18, 2023 23:36
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Dear HOA member, We are considering requiring genetic testing of all dogs owned by homeowners, at homeowners expense, due to a significant increase in uncollected dog feces around the neighborhood. This is so that if and when dog poop is found, we can genetically test it and match it to a dog owner and fine them. We are soliciting feedback prior to implementing this new policy. Please let us know what you think.
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Apr 18, 2023 23:38
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i volunteer to store and organize the dog poop
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Apr 19, 2023 00:27
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Mozi posted:i volunteer to store and organize the dog poop I volunteer at the animal shelter, and am now stockpiling bags of dog poop. Donate to my GoFundMe and once I get enough donations, I'll rent a manure spreader and give the HOA board members a complimentary dogshit crop dusting.
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Apr 19, 2023 01:08
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Apr 19, 2023 01:52
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ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD posted:The idea of an hoa sourcing a ninja to murder a meth addict mowing his lawn in the morning is one of the funniest things i'll think about today I’d watch this HBO show.
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Apr 19, 2023 02:33
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Apr 19, 2023 14:26
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IT IS MY RIGHT AS A SOVEREIGN CITIZEN TO DANCE NUDE IN MY OWN GODDAMN FRONT LAWN
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Apr 19, 2023 14:43
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it has come to my ATTENTION that PEOPLE are SITTING on the green electrical boxes at the end of the maple street turn around. Those BOXES are HOA property and furthermore *hushed whispers* Ok so the boxes are city property, but they sit on HOA property and I think we should STOP the SITTING because *more hushed whispers* Oh the turnaround is a city street and we don’t own it. STILL though, there is a SCHOOL nearby and we MUST THINK of the CHILDREN *hushed whispering longer this time* What do you mean it’s the children sitting on the boxes? Do they live here? Only some of them?? we must protect our property values!!!! Call the police!
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Apr 19, 2023 14:57
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“We must protect the children! From the other children!! By stopping them from sitting on the electrical boxes we don’t own and land we also don’t own!” *MMMMMPPPHHHHH!!!* *clods of cat urine soaked earth flung directly into open mouth of old lady #1, flung by old lady #2 through open window* “You’d better not be using my dumpster! I don’t know you! Is that your car?? No! you drive a TOYOTA! I don’t believe you! No I am NOT in violation of my restraining order I am CLEARLY not on the sidewalk, I have a RIGHT to stand on this curb! The city COUNCIL will hear if this!” Old lady #2 and 3 begin a WWE style brawl as #1 reveals herself to be one of the hecate and winks at the camera (the camera is a speed trap camera and issues her a ticket for $42.37)
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Apr 19, 2023 20:42
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who the gently caress left a condom by my parking spot, this is a nice neighborhood!
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Apr 19, 2023 20:45
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oh geez i'm sorry, i must have dropped that magnum condom i use for my monster dong
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Apr 19, 2023 21:40
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It's my right to use my leaf blower early and often even when it's rainy to uselessly move water around that just comes back. I am an old retired man and need things to do.
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Apr 19, 2023 22:12
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Some of you are not on board with regulating member's bowel movements, despite the clear benefits of staggering our toilet flushes. As a reminder, sassing me is a $300 fine, every month in perpetuity.
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Apr 19, 2023 23:31
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Your tree has too many leaves.
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Apr 23, 2023 07:03
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Apr 23, 2023 07:07
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My parents had a maple tree outside their townhouse that shed a lot of leaves. They'd fall on the walkway, but mom was diligent about sweeping them up at least once a week. It was a good tree in that it provided excellent shade on the front of the place during the summer. Batshit crazy neighbor would complain about "the leaf problem" and finally took it to the HOA. They decided the tree had to be removed, at my parent's expense. My mom went to the HOA asking if it was alright to replace the tree with one that didn't shed as many leaves. She found some dumb poo poo online and presented it to them suggesting an alternate tree and the HOA agreed that was acceptable. It was a peppercorn tree. So now, 15 years later, the walkway is covered in smashed peppercorns that people just walk right over and grind into the cement. My mom does not bother to sweep them up. And she knew exactly what she was doing choosing that tree. Apparently; no more complaints. We laugh every time I visit over how silly it all is. The walkway looks like a splatter zone for smashed peppercorns.
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Apr 23, 2023 20:18
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The creek has flooded into my back yard, almost reaching my patio twice this year already. I need this to be taken care of ASAP.
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Apr 23, 2023 22:07
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