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Passive Aggreeable
May 23, 2009

"Either way, it's going to hurt like crazy."
read godwinks for a collection of holey moley coincidences

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Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009
OP, I don't recall praying in a car crash.

Last time I was in a serious crash, I just remember laughing. I was pretty sure that I was hosed (and just not feeling it yet) and was going to die. It struck me as so sudden and so absurd that it was funny. "Well. That's it. I'm gone, just like that. Haha."

Turns out I was fine. There was just a lot broken glass, but all the blood was from minor cuts.

TrashMammal
Nov 10, 2022

It’s true OP. You never know if you’re a coward until you’ve faced death. :clint:

elmer chud
May 18, 2018
(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
Nope
Unfortunately I have no doubt that we are mammals like possums and rats, with lives just as important on this planet

I could be wrong but I doubt it

The Bible
May 8, 2010

elmer chud posted:

Nope
Unfortunately I have no doubt that we are mammals like possums and rats, with lives just as important on this planet

I could be wrong but I doubt it

Even if you are wrong, it wouldn't automatically mean that one of the the modern iterations of the Hebrew god is the truth about reality.

Defiance Industries
Jul 22, 2010

A five-star manufacturer


I said gently caress a bunch of times, never asked for any imaginary beings to help me, not even Goku.

NoiseAnnoys
May 17, 2010

the only real ism is jism.

Stunt-Puffin
May 19, 2023

Ya wanna talk about fake new, bub?

Your bible's the original fake news!

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

Prescott posted:

I’ve known so many people who talked a big game about their lack of faith, but the minute their mom got cancer or they found themselves upside down in a car crash they found themselves praying. Can you really call yourself an atheist until you’ve looked Death in the eye and didn’t call out to the cosmos to save you?

https://imgur.com/HKsSkeS
Yeah I almost died one time

syntaxfunction
Oct 27, 2010
Now everyone debate Pascal's Wager!

Private Cumshoe
Feb 15, 2019

AAAAAAAGAGHAAHGGAH

syntaxfunction posted:

Now everyone debate Pascal's Wager!

Wouldn't bet on it

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

syntaxfunction posted:

Now everyone debate Pascal's Wager!

I'd rather not. It isn't a very good computer thing

Three Olives
Apr 10, 2005
No, the last time I almost died it was because the dude with the gun actually poo poo himself instead of shooting the elephant that had ripped the axel out of our open top Land Cruiser pushing us over a tree in southern Africa.

I was really pissed at him though.

Private Cumshoe
Feb 15, 2019

AAAAAAAGAGHAAHGGAH

Three Olives posted:

No, the last time I almost died it was because the dude with the gun actually poo poo himself instead of shooting the elephant that had ripped the axel out of our open top Land Cruiser pushing us over a tree in southern Africa.

I was really pissed at him though.

I'm pissed at him too!

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

Three Olives posted:

No, the last time I almost died it was because the dude with the gun actually poo poo himself instead of shooting the elephant that had ripped the axel out of our open top Land Cruiser pushing us over a tree in southern Africa.

I was really pissed at him though.

what is the blowing a raspberry equivalent?

Prescott
May 16, 2023

I’m reading the Bible so I can teach the zombies about Heaven.

sure okay posted:

Religion is just the result of pattern recognition going into overdrive OP. An evolutionary tool that got us out of the caves but causes us to see "meaning" (patterns) where there are likely none.

Nothing happens for any reason, and everything happens for every reason.

What you're really asking is if most humans would resort to pleading to the "pattern understander" (God? Allah? w/e) as a means of comfort during moments of stress and terror, and yes of course. Survival means grabbing at every life raft - even distant and likely nonexistent ones. The species who did not do this all died already.
Do you think it’s possible in trying to rationalize these phantom patterns and counter-check them against one another, we manage to catch certain irrational patterns beyond linear analysis that nonetheless hold true and provide predictive quality?

TrashMammal
Nov 10, 2022

Prescott posted:

Do you think it’s possible in trying to rationalize these phantom patterns and counter-check them against one another, we manage to catch certain irrational patterns beyond linear analysis that nonetheless hold true and provide predictive quality?

That’s just the old gods, OP.

Panic! At The Tesco
Aug 19, 2005

FART


i once flipped a pickup truck into a field and almost died when it landed on its roof. i did not think of god or religion at all. i did say "holy poo poo" and "fuckin hell" a lot to my work colleague once we'd crawled out of the wreckage, does that count?

edit: picture of my sweet wreck

Panic! At The Tesco fucked around with this message at 10:26 on May 24, 2023

Captain Splendid
Jan 7, 2009

Qu'en pense Caffarelli?
I don't play golf, so I identify primarily as a non-golfer, OP

Fredrik1
Jan 22, 2005

Gopherslayer
:rock:
Fallen Rib
Everybody are atheist about something OP

William Henry Hairytaint
Oct 29, 2011



There are multiple gods, OP, I know because I am one, though I'm very junior in the Pantheon. It's like being a frat pledge :(

I'm still waiting to hear back from the Department of Deification about what exactly I'm going to be the god of. I put in a few areas of interest but the whole thing is decided by committee and there's a lot of red tape so who knows what my domain will end up being.

staberind
Feb 20, 2008

but i dont wanna be a spaceship
Fun Shoe
Considering how many gods humans havve worshipped over the milennia, everyone is a heathen.
aside from solopsists, or rhythm methodists.
or sado buddists...

Noblesse Obliged
Apr 7, 2012

Who answers when God calls?

Kim. Thats who.

Internetjack
Sep 15, 2007

oh god how did this get here i am not good with computers
Top Cop
I was raised Catholic. At around 16 years old Catholics do the Confirmation Sacrament; where they affirm their belief in god. I had to go to confirmation classes and even a week long retreat to a camp in the woods. Which was all cool because there were two really cute cheerleader girls in my class. /spoiler I got to kiss one! /spoiler

The funny part though is that the focus was really strong on "do you truly believe in god; really think about it". So I did, sincerely.

I'd started taking chemistry, biology, advanced math, physics courses, etc. The more I pondered the question of my belief in god, which is exactly what I was instructed to do, I started to realize that No, I don't believe in god. All their fault for telling me to introspect, lol.

I was scared of my disbelief at the time, afraid of what people would say, so I went through the Confirmation ceremony. I had to kiss some gnarly old bishop's hand. Gross.

A couple years went by and I learned my brother had also lost his faith/belief. It was actually a bonding experience for us. We both went to college and being jackass freshman students home for the summer we both slowly eroded our parent's faith. Mom is an atheist now. Dad might be still on the fence, but of the four of us no one has been to church in a good 25 years.

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER
Chik-Fil-Atheist

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER

Internetjack posted:

I was raised Catholic. At around 16 years old Catholics do the Confirmation Sacrament; where they affirm their belief in god. I had to go to confirmation classes and even a week long retreat to a camp in the woods. Which was all cool because there were two really cute cheerleader girls in my class. /spoiler I got to kiss one! /spoiler

The funny part though is that the focus was really strong on "do you truly believe in god; really think about it". So I did, sincerely.

I'd started taking chemistry, biology, advanced math, physics courses, etc. The more I pondered the question of my belief in god, which is exactly what I was instructed to do, I started to realize that No, I don't believe in god. All their fault for telling me to introspect, lol.

I was scared of my disbelief at the time, afraid of what people would say, so I went through the Confirmation ceremony. I had to kiss some gnarly old bishop's hand. Gross.

A couple years went by and I learned my brother had also lost his faith/belief. It was actually a bonding experience for us. We both went to college and being jackass freshman students home for the summer we both slowly eroded our parent's faith. Mom is an atheist now. Dad might be still on the fence, but of the four of us no one has been to church in a good 25 years.

Confirmation is like 12/13, no? I remember it coinciding with around 8th grade graduation and having a bunch of money all at once. Should have left it in loving Amazon.

Internetjack
Sep 15, 2007

oh god how did this get here i am not good with computers
Top Cop

kntfkr posted:

Confirmation is like 12/13, no? I remember it coinciding with around 8th grade graduation and having a bunch of money all at once. Should have left it in loving Amazon.

I'm sure it varies, but I was in my sophomore year at high school. I had to go to classes once a week at some "teacher" dude's house for a few months. It sucked. Pretty sure he was creeping on the girls. He was married, but in hindsight he really gave off a strong pedo vibe.

Funny story... My parents were out of town for a week of vacation. I of course threw a party. The day after I take all the beer bottles and cans to the recycling center, and while standing in line with two full garbage bags the confirmation teacher guy walks into line right behind me. I'd skipped the previous night's class, because I had to party. It was slightly awkward to say the least.

TrashMammal
Nov 10, 2022

That awkward moment when you confirm that you are a cool dude to the authorities

GABA ghoul
Oct 29, 2011

I don't know what this thread is about but I still wanted to post here

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER

GABA ghoul posted:

I don't know what this thread is about but I still wanted to post here

hey man

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
Only when you cry out " I am euphoric" instead of "oh god" in the heat of coitus can you truly be counted an atheist.

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER
somewhere in america there is a polyamorous redditor who had sex after playing settlers of catan and they say "oh my flying spaghetti monster" during coitus

YeahTubaMike
Mar 24, 2005

*hic* Gotta finish thish . . .
Doctor Rope

Colonel Cancer posted:

Only when you cry out " I am euphoric" instead of "oh god" in the heat of coitus can you truly be counted an atheist.

Is "gently caress yeah" not atheist enough?

Songbearer
Jul 12, 2007




Fuck you say?
The test was your posting and yes I am convinced now more than ever there is no god

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

YeahTubaMike posted:

Is "gently caress yeah" not atheist enough?

only if you manage to include at least one major vestment of atheist clergy in your performance. Neckbeard, fedora, etc

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019




every time i begin to wonder, i am reminded that if god were real there's no way he or she would allow gamepass to languish with nary a quality title to offer

cumpantry
Dec 18, 2020

Colonel Cancer posted:

only if you manage to include at least one major vestment of atheist clergy in your performance. Neckbeard, fedora, etc

Upvoted

GundamHealer
Jul 23, 2022

I died once. It was ok

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


Still waiting for someone to rigorously disprove my faith that God is Tom Waits on a bender.

Please do it, my family is drinking themselves to an early grave.

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BastardAus
Jun 3, 2003
Chunder from Down Under
Well gently caress, I was an altar boy for 2 years and never got touched so I could thank god for that.
But I think it was luck, the priest was so old I think his dick had shrivelled and died many years before. He was an amusing character, couldn't knock him really.

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