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N. Senada
May 17, 2011

My kidneys are busted
How much money they stole from work (about 1000 before they quit)

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bossy lady
Jul 9, 1983

How many times a certain refinery just outside of Philadelphia has come close to exploding.

bees everywhere
Nov 19, 2002

The terrible secret of space!

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003

How much money the mods make per hour of probation doled out (shan't speculate)

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

A Soft Nylon Bag
The Secret of NIMH

N. Senada
May 17, 2011

My kidneys are busted
Tapes of a client doing shady poo poo that I was tasked with destroying

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019




the pope told me that the whole thing is made up

Crazyweasel
Oct 29, 2006
lazy

A decade ago I was early career and with a VP of a major private company (a lot of people probably know the name) when he took a call from another company about possibly merging.

He told me I can’t tell anyone, not even my grandmother if she was on her sick bed. And I just thought to myself what loving loser cares about work that much.

cat botherer
Jan 6, 2022

I am interested in most phases of data processing.
This guy from work told me after a night of drinking that he was actually the one who killed JFK.

MrQwerty
Apr 15, 2003

a bunch of trade secrets regarding experimental and marketed injectable chemo drugs, trade secret manufacturing processes for injectable generic drugs that are using new, patented delivery processes to be safer on organs/for people with allergies to certain common ingredients in injectable drugs, the way the DEA's paperwork flows, and a bunch of proprietary stuff regarding high-end audio Rx/Tx circuit boards including parts lists and general circuit design

Gatts
Jan 2, 2001

Goodnight Moon

Nap Ghost
I have learned the best way to keep a secret is to go "Uh huh, ok, that's wild." and then forget about it 30 seconds later thus being able to keep all secrets.

FirstnameLastname
Jul 10, 2022


got me 50 ounces out a bird in this bitch
i know the last stuff steve jobs jacked off to before he died

FirstnameLastname
Jul 10, 2022


got me 50 ounces out a bird in this bitch
g-force was real and they died staying behind to torch that blackhawk when they clipped bin laden

MrQwerty
Apr 15, 2003

FirstnameLastname posted:

g-force was real and they died staying behind to torch that blackhawk when they clipped bin laden

lol the day everyone learned secret black helicopters were real

FirstnameLastname
Jul 10, 2022


got me 50 ounces out a bird in this bitch
cant get pregnant on federal park land

FirstnameLastname
Jul 10, 2022


got me 50 ounces out a bird in this bitch
if you dump change into your dishwasher itll sort it for you into little rows

Spinz
Jan 7, 2020

I ordered luscious new gemstones from India and made new earrings for my SA mart thread

Remember my earrings and art are much better than my posting

New stuff starts towards end of page 3 of the thread
Abortions galore

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019




nothing actually happens when you microwave metal

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019




Spinz posted:

Abortions galore

which bond film was this?

bradzilla
Oct 15, 2004

can't share op

FirstnameLastname
Jul 10, 2022


got me 50 ounces out a bird in this bitch

Spinz posted:

Abortions galore

also available through most side-loading dishwashers

MonkeyHate
Oct 11, 2002

Dance, monkey, dance!
Taco Defender
my stupid brother in law tried to bufu my holier than thou sister in law and they did it real wrong. so wrong she started blasting out blood from her butt and they had to go to the hospital

i think about that every time she tries to talk her bullshit at me lol

oh yeah shes the one who told me when she was shitfaced at my wedding. if she ever remembered she told me she would never stop vomiting

MrQwerty
Apr 15, 2003

MonkeyHate posted:

my stupid brother in law tried to bufu my holier than thou sister in law and they did it real wrong. so wrong she started blasting out blood from her butt and they had to go to the hospital

i think about that every time she tries to talk her bullshit at me lol

oh yeah shes the one who told me when she was shitfaced at my wedding. if she ever remembered she told me she would never stop vomiting

lmao

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019




we reverse engineered alien technology but we can’t reveal it because it would destroy capitalism

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD

MonkeyHate posted:

my stupid brother in law tried to bufu my holier than thou sister in law and they did it real wrong. so wrong she started blasting out blood from her butt and they had to go to the hospital

i think about that every time she tries to talk her bullshit at me lol

oh yeah shes the one who told me when she was shitfaced at my wedding. if she ever remembered she told me she would never stop vomiting

I think we all need to know how they did it so wrong that she had to be hospitalised. I definitely do.

DemonDarkhorse
Nov 5, 2011

It's probably not tobacco. You just need to start wiping front-to-back from now on.
A very good friend went into great detail about the years long affair she had and wanted me to sympathize when he married another woman instead. My friend's husband is also a good friend.

dee eight
Dec 18, 2002

The Spirit
of Maynard

:catdrugs:
that the forklift driver was bonin' the saw operator's wife

that was 30 years ago and i never told anyone else until now

MrQwerty
Apr 15, 2003

dee eight posted:

that the forklift driver was bonin' the saw operator's wife

that was 30 years ago and i never told anyone else until now

I know firsthand of at least 3 children that were conceived with affair partners in a permit-only confined space at the same drug factory I mentioned above, and from stories I've been told, at least 9 in that same confined space since the mid-90s

WAR CRIME GIGOLO
Oct 3, 2012

The Hague
tryna get me
for these glutes

Nooner told me he's gay

RapturesoftheDeep
Jan 6, 2013

FirstnameLastname posted:

cant get pregnant on federal park land

One of my BiL's relatives works for the Park Police and I thought this was an urban legend but he says it's true, there were a couple of years circa 2004 that word got out and the Presidio was absolutely crawling with straightlaced Mormon highschool kids who were loving raw in bathrooms but they cracked down.

Not one specific secret, but one year when I made a card-counting trip to Vegas one Christmas, I got a lap dance from a go-go boy in a sleazy gay bar called "Flex" and he spent like 2 hours sitting on my lap in his underwear processing his relationship with his 50ish sugar mama who had just kicked him out of her mansion in Hawaii. I had to agree with him that he probably should have stayed in the Navy than believed her bullshit about how she was going to give him money for a karate school.

Toxic Mental
Jun 1, 2019

Nooner also told me that he is gay, separately

flubber nuts
Oct 5, 2005


lots of frog people in my life.

Darth Brooks
Jan 15, 2005

I do not wear this mask to protect me. I wear it to protect you from me.

I have never told and will not start now.

Nelson Mandingo
Mar 27, 2005




Them joining a micropenis support therapy group.

Haptical Sales Slut
Mar 15, 2010

Age 18 to 49

Bad Purchase posted:

we reverse engineered alien technology but we can’t reveal it because it would destroy capitalism

:hmmrona:

Queer Grenadier
Jun 14, 2023

THIS GUY HAS A POOPY BOOM BOOM

HE NOT WARSHING HE HOLES LOL
My coworker explained to me that the Earth was flat in a roundabout way at the pub one day, many moons ago.

The Hello Machine
Jul 19, 2021

I'm not a real machine, but I am a real Hello-sayer.
I forgor

Blockade
Oct 22, 2008

How the state of Florida just straight up lied on a bunch of land surveys

neato burrito
Aug 25, 2002

bitch better have my chex mix

How he (a US Army soldier) met and hooked up with underage girls.

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flubber nuts
Oct 5, 2005


water is the new walmart

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