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The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > do you want the good news or the bad news
 
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Khanstant
 ive got old news, crates of fake news, ive got a warehouse full of sports news, folks ive got news too good to be true, palettes of news from tomorrow's past. every news must go!! any type of news you wants, we gots. this is our biggest sale of the year recently, with overstocked big news! slightly damaged soft news, as-is world news, and refurbished crime reporting. huge discounts on politically motivated news, BOGO on Watchtower news. news on the hour available for rent by the hour. vintage weather news free with every order. we offer free shipping on in-store pickup orders over 400$ As well for a limited only visit our showroom and take a "dip" in our "news pool" and read a selection of softcover high gloss news magazines hand-picked for reading while using our public restroom.

* # ? Jun 22, 2023 05:43
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# ? May 12, 2024 16:34
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Zoya

echoes of a distant past,
bodies die but voices last.
once were held within a cell,
your mind is where these voices dwell.



 hit me with the slightly damaged soft news







thank you snuff melange for the beautiful winter siggy~!

* # ? Jun 22, 2023 06:25
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Zoya

echoes of a distant past,
bodies die but voices last.
once were held within a cell,
your mind is where these voices dwell.



 BYOB: Slightly Damaged Soft News







thank you snuff melange for the beautiful winter siggy~!

* # ? Jun 22, 2023 06:25
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Saoshyant

:hmmorks: :orks:


 Buddy, if my news aren't in a pristine state I take no interest in its journalistic value. Take your used news elsewhere.



awesome spring sig by RavenousScoot

* # ? Jun 22, 2023 18:55
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FutonForensic

 i don't like this news. i'd like a refund.


* # ? Jun 22, 2023 19:04
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google THIS

FutonForensic posted:

i don't like this news. i'd like a refund.

If you are unsatisfied with your news please send in a self-addressed stamped envelope to receive some additional bad news ABSOLUTELY FREE with our apologies! (the bad news is that we don't offer refunds)

* # ? Jun 22, 2023 19:13
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google THIS

 "Would you like to try a free news sample?"

"Sure!"

(hands a tiny piece of paper stuck on a toothpick that just says "The")

"I'll take ten boxes."

* # ? Jun 22, 2023 19:17
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Khanstant
 wow! gr8 find, a box full of news on paper you can use to wash restaurant windows!! order now please

* # ? Jun 22, 2023 19:45
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Buttchocks

No, I like my hat, thanks.
one premium news please

* # ? Jun 22, 2023 20:35
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google THIS

 Me: Is this real news?

Salesman: Absolutely! 100% authenticity guaranteed! Every news comes with a certificate--

Me: (gets out a Silly Putty egg)

Salesman:
* # ? Jun 22, 2023 21:08
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# ? May 12, 2024 16:34
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AdvilSmith

Broken! Busted! Everybody has something to repair. Before buying new, let Mighty Putty fix it for you.
Can I order a mystery news bag? Perhaps a bundle of 5 or six different newses for me to try out? I'll pay handsomely or gorgeously (whichever you prefer).


thank you RavenousScoot 🤘🐹

* # ? Jun 22, 2023 22:48
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The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > do you want the good news or the bad news