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A poo poo glove, one wipe removes half the poo and only half.
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Jul 2, 2023 16:36
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haven't wiped in years, i just stand right up, not even a tester, its all about confidence
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Jul 2, 2023 17:06
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I take flushable wipes with me to work because they don't have bidets 
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Jul 2, 2023 17:07
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Caesar Saladin posted:haven't wiped in years, i just stand right up, not even a tester, its all about confidence Behold, he who solved the riddle of fiber.
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Jul 2, 2023 17:08
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what would we do without dudes? dudes are doing incredible things.
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Jul 2, 2023 17:09
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Smugworth posted:I got a Brodet™, the Bidet for Bros Is that your drunk buddy’s curious tongue?
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Jul 2, 2023 17:10
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Sekenr posted:Wipe my goddamn balls...
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Jul 2, 2023 17:47
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I don't need to wipe. I just yell out the pledge of allegiance with as much R. Lee Ermy engery as I can, directly at my rear end in a top hat and the poop jumps from my bum like they were paratroopers. Parapoopers, if you'd like.
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Jul 2, 2023 18:06
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Real tactical wardudes have colostomy bags, soldier! Ain't no "number two" break in the foxholes...
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Jul 2, 2023 18:09
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and when the poo poo hits the fan, hit the man with your poo poo
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Jul 2, 2023 18:51
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This is my rear end in a top hat. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My rear end in a top hat is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my rear end in a top hat is useless. Without my rear end in a top hat, I am useless. I must empty my rear end in a top hat true. I must poo poo straighter than my enemy who is trying to poo poo on me. I must poo poo on him before he shits on me. I wipe … My rear end in a top hat and I know that what counts in war is not the dumps we let loose, the noise of our burst, nor the farts we make. We know that it is the shits that count. We will poo poo … My rear end in a top hat is human, even as I, because it is my life. Thus, I will learn it as a brother. I will learn its weaknesses, its strength, its parts, its accessories, its gooch and its gape. I will keep my rear end in a top hat clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready. We will become part of each other. We poo poo … Before God, I swear this creed. My rear end in a top hat and I are the defenders of my toilet. We are the masters of our enemy. We are the saviors of my life. So be it, until victory is America’s and there is no enemy, but peace!”
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Jul 2, 2023 19:43
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i use tactical wipes made of black nylon with little iron crosses emblazoned in the corner
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Jul 2, 2023 20:06
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are you suppose to dude wipe before or after the clamshells?
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Jul 2, 2023 20:33
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Regular floss was just way too feminine for me, a muscle strong man, and that's why I exclusively use Floss Guys Premium Unflavored Compostable Floss Picks. Floss like a man, with Floss Guys.
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Jul 2, 2023 20:36
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dervival posted:and when the poo poo hits the fan, hit the man with your poo poo New idea (don't steal  ): fan blades without a guard that you stick in your butt and turn on to scrape the poo away. Clean as a whistle!
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Jul 2, 2023 21:09
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Some kind of a poo turbine powered by your own making GBS threads to scrape you clean in a modern, environmentally friendly way!
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Jul 2, 2023 21:13
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Colonel Cancer posted:Some kind of a poo turbine powered by your own making GBS threads to scrape you clean in a modern, environmentally friendly way! Sort of like? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_i_yWlEi_s&t=44s
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Jul 2, 2023 21:16
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More like a windmill for poo, but the basic principles are there.
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Jul 2, 2023 21:17
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poo poo and making GBS threads always brings goons together in the best way 
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Jul 2, 2023 21:28
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i always have a good laugh when i recall that the harry potter author blurted out one day that prior to plumbing, wizards simply poo poo their pants and then used magic to clean it up sometime later
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Jul 2, 2023 21:33
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i'm so fucken tired of all these bidets and making GBS threads stools and wipes and poo poo that keep coming out. i've got making GBS threads figured out. i eat a salad every day. if your shits are so insane you need 10 products to take a poo poo, look at your diet you moron. it's a medical problem you're trying to fix with bullshit off the shelf at walmart.
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Jul 2, 2023 21:39
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i;m sick of people trying to tell me how to poo poo
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Jul 2, 2023 21:40
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"Unfortunately, no one can be told how to take a poo poo. You have to see it for yourself." - Morpheus, unspooling coil aboard the Nebuchadnezzar
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Jul 2, 2023 21:44
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That makes you wonder about a lot of things. You take poo poo, for example: maybe they couldn't figure out what to make poo poo smell like, which is why everything smells like poo poo. - John Matrix
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Jul 2, 2023 21:49
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Bad Purchase posted:i always have a good laugh when i recall that the harry potter author blurted out one day that prior to plumbing, wizards simply poo poo their pants and then used magic to clean it up sometime later this is what happens when rowling posts without her editor
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Jul 2, 2023 22:21
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You Are A Elf posted:New idea (don't steal don't worry you've got all the trademarks to the disembowenemer ...might need to workshop that one substantially
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Jul 2, 2023 22:23
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AI operated point defense laser that safely and accurately incinerates poo as it leaves your orifice. Also does hair removal.
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Jul 2, 2023 22:29
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When you use TP, the devil can possess your finger to poke through the fragile worldly material and get it in your butthole, tempting you to a path of homosexual masturbation. That's why my wipes are moistened with holy water drawn by the hands of Catholic priests, whose hands are guaranteed to have never gotten near another male's poop chute.
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Jul 2, 2023 22:35
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Just invest in a set of quality folded tamahagane poop knives that will last you a lifetime.
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Jul 2, 2023 22:45
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Bad Purchase posted:i always have a good laugh when i recall that the harry potter author blurted out one day that prior to plumbing, wizards simply poo poo their pants and then used magic to clean it up sometime later That's also how they do it in Star Trek, except their magic is transporters.
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Jul 2, 2023 22:57
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Im a manly man, this poop's been in my crack for weeks. If only there was a product catered to my very specific tastes in butt hygiene.
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Jul 2, 2023 23:11
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you think the liver king wipes his rear end? hell no he doesn't
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Jul 2, 2023 23:12
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Grey Cat posted:Im a manly man, this poop's been in my crack for weeks. If only there was a product catered to my very specific tastes in butt hygiene. Well at that point that poop's staying there for the long haul. So I believe the product you are looking for is Manly Indulgence Scented Candles
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Jul 2, 2023 23:13
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Blurry Gray Thing posted:Well at that point that poop's staying there for the long haul. So I believe the product you are looking for is Manly Indulgence Scented Candles Will this mask my smell??? Does it come in 4th of july pride meat sweats scent?
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Jul 2, 2023 23:15
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Have you never heard of shooting the poo poo? real manly man dude bros clean their butts with the muzzle blast from an AR15  
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Jul 2, 2023 23:27
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I tried one of these on my baby boy and he immendiately leapt off the changing table and german suplexed me to hell
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Jul 3, 2023 00:01
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*extremely Samuel L. Jackson voice* I’VE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING DINGLEBERRIES ON MY MOTHERFUCKING BUTT
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Jul 3, 2023 00:10
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You Are A Elf posted:I’VE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING DINGLEBERRIES ON MY MOTHERFUCKING BUTT you gently caress your mother with that butt?
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Jul 3, 2023 00:33
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how are these better than papmers baby wipes, which i use exclusevily
Reaganomicon fucked around with this message at 00:44 on Jul 3, 2023 |
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Jul 3, 2023 00:41
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| # ? May 4, 2024 02:15 |
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why not just wad up some toilet paper and splash a little warm water on it from the sink
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Jul 3, 2023 00:58
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