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Hi Everyone, It has been quite a grip of time since I have even come close to this forum. It is absolutely a blast from my past and I am blown away at a bunch of stuff that is still here. Although it looks a little different, this place is almost exactly as I remember it, 10bux to create an account included. I have been reminded of SA in the past couple of months numerous times as I have fallen down the rabbit hole that is the Geno Samuels doc on youtube about Chris-Chan, and the doc mentions this place numerous times. I had totally forgotten about SomethingAwful for a number of years, and just the mention of this place sent me flying back down memory lane. Back in 04-06, when I was a young teenager in the USAF, I used to post here a lot. I was "terminally online" before such a term existed, and I was endlessly and hopelessly addicted to somethingawful. I would spend hours on the forum talking with people (mostly with people in FYAD...I still have no idea how I came to be accepted there for the short period time I was active), doing stupid poo poo, trolling people etc. I had a good time here. Sometime in, what, early 06 or so I noticed a new forum (BYOB) and began posting there. I forget exactly where I posted about wanting to create an RPG that defied genre conventions, but it was in some Open Thread of some kind (forgive me if I am not getting the terminology, again, its been a grip since I have been here). I remember a lot of people showed interest in the same project and we began to talk back and forth about how we could actually go about making a game. Now, I had absolutely zero experience with art, or programming, or music making, or scripting or literally anything having to do with making a video game. But I was 19, the possibilities were "endless". Plus, I had just discovered pot, which further opened the door to my interest in writing a JRPG style turn based video game. The next bit I have no way of proving. My involvement in the project was short, incredibly stupid, and ridiculously naive. I spent a grand total of a month working on this brand new video game before my writing was found and rightfully mocked. My name was never attached, the old PC is long gone and my original script is long since lost to the sands of time. I noticed some people who used to post here tried their best to preserve what they could, and I am endlessly appreciative of that (because honestly, this seemed so traumatic at the time but its quickly becoming a very fond memory). But, if my username wasn't a clue, at one point in my life I was Rex Meteorite, the first writer of Zybourne Clock. I was the person who wrote the infamous "Four balls on a cliff" line. I had no idea that this had turned into such a meme, and serious project, because I left somethingawful and the entire internet behind for a year after FYAD found forum for ZC and posted that scuffed writing all over. After about a year, I came back but only to discuss politics at dailykos. I rarely, if ever, engaged outside of the lefty blogosphere for a very, very long time. But after learning about CWC and other lolcows, I remembered my own terrible project and scrape with almost being the first. Had I not dipped off line and had a reaction, perhaps that could have been it for me. I looked up Zybourne Clock for the first time a while ago and saw that it had not only become a meme, but some sort of expensive project? Some people actually wanted to make it a game (who weren't people who were lead by a stoned 19 year old with no industry experience)? People are still making youtube videos about it (latest one is 2 months ago)? Holy poo poo. There was even an article written about it on the "Daily Dot" in 2019, which even referred to me. Anyway, I just wanted to end some of the mystery surrounding my terrible writing that became a meme as old as the damned dinosaurs, and after a long time of searching through subreddits to post this story in, I landed at paying for another account here and posting it on good old GBS. PS: holy poo poo  is still here! My 20 bucks went hella far. I bought that poo poo in 2005!
rexymeteorite fucked around with this message at 03:13 on Jul 4, 2023 |
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Jul 4, 2023 03:06
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I'm not falling fir this again Henry!!!!!
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Jul 4, 2023 03:07
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WAR CRIME GIGOLO posted:I'm not falling fir this again Henry!!!!! I'm not lying. I still have the credentials for the Rex Meteorite account, even tried to log in to it. But its has long since been locked due to inactivity. No idea who Henry is.
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Jul 4, 2023 03:11
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Excellent, you're hired for the upcoming frontpage relaunch! Since you're in touch with all sorts of obscure fanart, you'll be our Reylo editor
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Jul 4, 2023 03:14
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istewart posted:Excellent, you're hired for the upcoming frontpage relaunch! Since you're in touch with all sorts of obscure fanart, you'll be our Reylo editor I would say "theres a frontpage?!?!?!?!" but that used to get you banned
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Jul 4, 2023 03:16
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Why was Johnny's dick so big was that part of the plot
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Jul 4, 2023 03:21
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Inzombiac posted:Why was Johnny's dick so big was that part of the plot Johnny Fiveaces or whatever wasn't added until after I left the project. I believe the main characters name was Cylus if I recall correctly.
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Jul 4, 2023 03:23
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Is there even a zybourne clock without johnny? It's like doobies without the vent hood it just doesn't work
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Jul 4, 2023 03:27
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Zybourne Clock is still fondly remembered around these parts. Imp Zone had a recently gold mined thread about it - https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=4029797
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Jul 4, 2023 03:31
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Was looking up what this is and apparently a Johnny Fiveaces concept art sold for $5k and there was a reference to Zybourne Clock in Fallout New Vegas.
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Jul 4, 2023 03:32
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Sophy Wackles posted:Was looking up what this is and apparently a Johnny Fiveaces concept art sold for $5k and there was a reference to Zybourne Clock in Fallout New Vegas. Saw that same thing and was blown away. Almost wish I kept the old script or something. Coulda cashed out.
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Jul 4, 2023 03:37
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Very few things have made me laugh more than the Zybourne Clock so unironically thanks for that  .
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Jul 4, 2023 03:49
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DickParasite posted:Very few things have made me laugh more than the Zybourne Clock so unironically thanks for that I’m happy it was the inspiration for so much legit great art and laughs. And I would so play Zybourne Clock if it were ever made. And I am actually sad I didn’t get into fallout until 4 because had I played NV and come across the four balls on a cliff thing I probably would have crapped myself.
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Jul 4, 2023 03:56
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Imagine four balls on the edge of a cliff It’s easy if you try Imagine the pee stored inside those balls Now you understand time
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Jul 4, 2023 04:10
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rexymeteorite posted:I was the person who wrote the infamous "Four balls on a cliff" line. If we stretch definitions this means you technically contributed writing to Fallout New Vegas 
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Jul 4, 2023 04:12
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wasn't it a goon who bought the johnny fiveaces original sketch ebay auction a couple years back?
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Jul 4, 2023 04:17
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Tea Party Crasher posted:If we stretch definitions this means you technically contributed writing to Fallout New Vegas I demand my writing credit, Todd…
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Jul 4, 2023 04:18
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keanu played johnny 5 aces in cyberpunk
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Jul 4, 2023 04:31
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 rexymeteorite posted:I demand my writing credit, Todd…
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Jul 4, 2023 04:44
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Zybourne Clock Groverhaus Doobie's Dog House 3 pubes who's hole is greater than the sums if their parts
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Jul 4, 2023 05:09
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rexymeteorite posted:Hi Everyone, "What you got there, mister?", queries the girl. He pauses for a moment, considering plots which might've employed this child as a spy, paid in food, to inquire. Exhausted and drawn to the child's innocence, the walls of secrecy melt for a moment. "This, my darling, is a device. A device many men and many women have died to see, to understand, and to own. In many ways it is like one of your toys, but a toy for adults. This, darling, is The Zybourne Clock." Suddenly, barely visible in the dim light, the child's eyes change. The hazelnut brown tones are ungluing into silver, melting into swirls of pearl and mechanical shades. Her body loses its shy posture and rapidly conforms to a rigid, upright stance. Her mouth opens slightly and with programmed precision, she moves her wrist slowly towards her tiny lips. "Orange Fox to Deitrus. Orange Fox to Deitrus. The Golden Egg has been located. I repeat, we've got it. Over". Frozen with guilt, the man slowly begins to run through the crowd. The girl screams, "Rape! Rape! He tried to touch me! Help!". For Dirk McLauren, Wedesnday January 19 2381 has begun very poorly.
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Jul 4, 2023 05:13
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rexymeteorite posted:I’m happy it was the inspiration for so much legit great art and laughs. And I would so play Zybourne Clock if it were ever made. What was your thoughts once you first heard of the Four Balls easter egg in New Vegas? and also Johnny Five Aces 
Toxic Mental fucked around with this message at 05:27 on Jul 4, 2023 |
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Jul 4, 2023 05:23
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EorayMel posted:At the end of a long room filled with whispers and handshakes sits a man fondling a small, dark object. The ancient wooden benches along the room's perimeter are full, mostly of women and children, leaving the men to mingle. The man sits firmly offering avoiding eye contact which could be misinterpreted as an offer of his seat. He clutches the object nervously. Through a forrest of arms, legs, and coattails a small child wanders towards the man, drawn by curiousity and free of her unattentive mother's eye. I don’t remember writing any of this. I am fairly sure this was added later. In fact, I don’t think I had specific time in mind, let alone a specific date in the future.
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Jul 4, 2023 05:24
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rexymeteorite posted:I don’t remember writing any of this. I am fairly sure this was added later. In fact, I don’t think I had specific time in mind, let alone a specific date in the future. nvm missed that you answered my question right above this post what was your development process behind the four balls on a cliff lol
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Jul 4, 2023 05:28
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Sophy Wackles posted:Was looking up what this is and apparently a Johnny Fiveaces concept art sold for $5k and there was a reference to Zybourne Clock in Fallout New Vegas. The director of Fallout New Vegas is a goon. Josh Sawyer/rope kid Bad Purchase posted:wasn't it a goon who bought the johnny fiveaces original sketch ebay auction a couple years back? Yeah, FreddieW/Freddie Wong/MrSpiffy
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Jul 4, 2023 05:31
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Toxic Mental posted:What was your thoughts once you first heard of the Four Balls easter egg in New Vegas? I was really surprised. It makes sense, SA was huge back in the day, so it makes sense that some people in the game development industry saw the original failure of the project and had a good laugh. ZC turned into something that I honestly couldn’t have imagined. As I said, it used to be a source of shame and my impulse for a long time was to not talk or think about it. Now that I am revisiting the saga and looking back, the fact that it inspired this level of creativity, and rose to this level of notoriety is pretty awe inspiring. Gotta give the OGs at this site for taking it and running with it and turning into something I could have never made it.
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Jul 4, 2023 05:34
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imagine balls: ZYBOURNE CLOCK
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Jul 4, 2023 05:34
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MrQwerty posted:nvm missed that you answered my question right above this post Marijuana and the Talking Heads.
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Jul 4, 2023 05:34
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rexymeteorite posted:I'm not lying. I still have the credentials for the Rex Meteorite account, even tried to log in to it. But its has long since been locked due to inactivity. It was actually Harvey, but they were the OP of a thread who claimed they'd just gotten out of prison after a 30 year sentence and wanted to learn about the internet. After taking GBS by storm for a couple of weeks he was outed as just being some weirdo's alt account doing a role play bit to try and fool people. Congrats on the Zybourne Clock thing or whatever, I guess.
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Jul 4, 2023 05:36
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rexymeteorite posted:Marijuana and the Talking Heads. thank you for generating such a timeless piece of internet content that makes me chuckle every time I think about it, much like Doobie i loled hard when I found Johnny and the balls in NV
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Jul 4, 2023 05:36
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nine-gear crow posted:Congrats on the Zybourne Clock thing or whatever, I guess. Thanks. I carried a pretty bad feeling around for a long time after all of that went down. It does feel kind of good to know that although it’s terrible it’s fondly remembered.
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Jul 4, 2023 05:42
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I occasionally heard of Zybourne Clock and "There are four balls on the edge of a cliff", but never really knew any context. So, basically, you got high and started spewing out ideas and ambitions, a whole bunch of internet people thought that sounded awesome, and they all tried to make 'a game', but since this was all a bunch of goons and this sort of thing requires some sort of overseeing hand and direction which it not only didn't have but a lot of the contributors actively rejected, probably because of one of the five geek social fallacies or stuff like that, and the whole thing rapidly turned into an impossible tangle and collapsed in pure too many cooks spoil the broth fashion and the sheer initial hype and just how quickly and badly it crashed and burned made it legendary enough to get occasional mentions across the internet in the decades since? Well, all right, I'll bite. Let's say you had some sort of amazing magic computer that would do all the game designing and programming for you and it would come out competent by RPG Maker standards, no bugs, everything is mostly balanced and playable, etc, you just had to conceive of the overall story and sub arcs within the game. What do you think Mid-Aughts you would have penned?
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Jul 4, 2023 05:42
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I remember you. Welcome back.
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Jul 4, 2023 05:48
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rexymeteorite posted:Thanks. I carried a pretty bad feeling around for a long time after all of that went down. It does feel kind of good to know that although it’s terrible it’s fondly remembered. I mean it is the old axiom in action, "Comedy = Tagedy + Time". It has taken on a life and a meaning of its own now independent from what it's original intent and (failed) creation tried to have. And as a creative I'd hope that is somewhat heartening, to see a failure take on a second life as a weirdly beloved thing divorced from that initial failing.
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Jul 4, 2023 05:50
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Cornwind Evil posted:I occasionally heard of Zybourne Clock and "There are four balls on the edge of a cliff", but never really knew any context. So, basically, you got high and started spewing out ideas and ambitions, a whole bunch of internet people thought that sounded awesome, and they all tried to make 'a game', but since this was all a bunch of goons and this sort of thing requires some sort of overseeing hand and direction which it not only didn't have but a lot of the contributors actively rejected, probably because of one of the five geek social fallacies or stuff like that, and the whole thing rapidly turned into an impossible tangle and collapsed in pure too many cooks spoil the broth fashion and the sheer initial hype and just how quickly and badly it crashed and burned made it legendary enough to get occasional mentions across the internet in the decades since? Oh Christ, lord knows what I was thinking back then. It was a very long time ago, almost half my lifetime. I couldn’t really tell you what me or the other people were thinking about. I had disorganized ideas, half imagined one dimensional characters, a plot twist that everyone would have seen coming (all the party members die in a WoB/WoR type mid game world changing event), a few character concepts that were actually competent, and a rough rough outline for battle mechanics. We sort of had an aesthetic direction, a couple of concepts and more enthusiasm than experience. Recipe for disaster. I wish I could tell you more about what we had planned, but it really wasn’t much of anything by the time I had left.
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Jul 4, 2023 05:52
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I thought you died or killed yourself after getting locked out of your Wikipedia account.
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Jul 4, 2023 06:02
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Vincent Van Goatse posted:I thought you died or killed yourself after getting locked out of your Wikipedia account. Never had a Wikipedia account. This is totally new to me.
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Jul 4, 2023 06:09
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rexymeteorite posted:Never had a Wikipedia account. This is totally new to me. Huh. Must've been a different goon. Anyway welcome back, you are now the new fourth ball at the top of the cliff.
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Jul 4, 2023 06:11
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Maybe now is the time for goons to get together and make the Zybourne Clock real! Surely now it can happen  Congrats on unknowingly being sorta weirdly niche internet famous OP 
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Jul 4, 2023 06:28
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rexymeteorite posted:Thanks. I carried a pretty bad feeling around for a long time after all of that went down. It does feel kind of good to know that although it’s terrible it’s fondly remembered. to my mind, even a grievously flawed work with a sufficiency of genuine ambition, however thoughtlessly misplaced, leaves a more positive impression than ten thousand merely competent efforts I imagine that's part of it for a number of people
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Jul 4, 2023 06:30
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