The Barbie Movie : A Wall Street Journal Review

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Three Olives: Apr 10, 2005

�Barbie� Review: Beyond Her Ken posted:

By Kyle Smith

In �Barbie,� Will Ferrell plays the CEO of Mattel, who muses, �Remember Proust Barbie? That did not sell well.� It�s the film�s second reference to the French modernist novelist, and its makers would have been well advised to heed their own joke and question the wisdom of stuffing this fantasy-comedy with references to the mastectomy and IRS troubles of the doll�s creator, gynecology, the mass devastation of indigenous people by smallpox, and (this comes up many times) �irrepressible thoughts of death.�

...

Amid many multicultural iterations of Barbie, there�s also one who uses a wheelchair and another who is overweight, plus many accomplished career women�scientists, politicians and so on. The central Barbie, played by Margot Robbie in a role that was seemingly waiting for her, is �Stereotypical Barbie��the sparkly but brainless basic version who exists mainly to look pretty.

...

Feminist enlightenment follows, but while Barbie is discovering herself, Ken learns that real society is male-dominated and uses the lesson to turn Barbieland into the Kendom�a bro paradise of brewskis and weight lifting. In his ideal state, �Everything exists to expand and elevate the presence of men.� Spot the joke? I don�t. �Barbie� contains more swipes at �the patriarchy� than a year�s worth of Ms. magazine.

...

Directed by Greta Gerwig, who wrote the script with her romantic partner, Noah Baumbach, �Barbie� is a template for how not to write a crowd-pleasing Hollywood feature. Ms. Gerwig and Mr. Baumbach are accomplished indie filmmakers (she made �Lady Bird,� he �The Squid and the Whale�; both are wonderful) who make poor choices to flesh out these characters. Try to imagine �The Super Mario Bros. Movie� as written by someone who not only hated Mario and Luigi but blamed them for highway fatalities, climate change and gorilla abuse while tossing in some Proust references.

...

As bubbly as the film appears, its script is like a grumpier-than-average women�s studies seminar. At one point, nearing the climax, �Barbie� stops cold so a Mattel doll designer (America Ferrera) with depressive inclinations can deliver a long monologue on how miserable it is to be female. For instance, she feels pressured to have lots of money but also pressured to not appear to seek it. Hearing characters issue denunciations such as �You fascist!� while Barbie muses that the fate of women is �Either you�re brainwashed or you�re weird and ugly�there is no in-between� is like going to the cotton-candy factory to find it producing lead pipes. Don�t we go to a movie like �Barbie� to escape the harrumphing tone of the most aggrieved Twitter users?

...

Those who have no particular reason to think women are powerless in American society will be put off by the script�s many broadsides. �Women hate women and men hate women. It�s the one thing we can all agree on,� we are told by an adolescent (Ariana Greenblatt) presented as attuned to the damage Barbie dolls supposedly do to girls� psyches. Is misogyny actually universally shared, though? Ms. Gerwig and Mr. Baumbach try to sell the audience on a tired �Mad Men� conception of reality where men in suits beckon and timid women simply do whatever they�re told..

Our guide to the supposedly bitter reality underlying the Mattel dolls is �Weird Barbie,� played by Kate McKinnon as a deliberately uglified version with chopped-up hair and punk clothes. Her character�s name could have served as the title of the movie, which is bound to puzzle moviegoers who thought they were buying a ticket to �Fun Barbie.�

WOW, I am so disappointed to hear that they took this movie to such a dark place. The leftist media has brainwashed us all into thinking that The Barbie Movie would be a fun, not like Oscar worthy, but a fun, lighthearted romp about a plastic doll but it turns out it is full of disgusting suggestions that women are, and this is ridiculous, treated unfairly by our society writ large and constantly takes swipes at men, who clearly are universally awesome.

Look at this leftist propaganda, this film is clearly awful and I, for one, am glad that I wasn't tricked into seeing this evil and grossly unfair depiction of men when I am just trying to enjoy a fun movie about a doll marketed at children. I mean, a FAT BARBIE!?!? They have gone too far.

0/5 stars, I'm so glad I didn't accidentally see this dreck.

# ? Jul 19, 2023 02:36

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# ? May 7, 2024 07:44

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

I honestly can't wait to see this.

# ? Jul 19, 2023 02:39

temple: Jul 29, 2006; I have actual skeletons in my closet

Not goth barbie=no ticket

# ? Jul 19, 2023 02:42

Smugworth: Apr 18, 2003

I liked the movie

# ? Jul 19, 2023 02:42

Three Olives: Apr 10, 2005

Smugworth posted:

I liked the movie

That is only because you have been brainwashed by feminists to hate men.

# ? Jul 19, 2023 02:43

QuoProQuid: Jan 12, 2012; Tr*ckin' and F*ckin' all the way to tha
T O P

i've already got my outfit picked out for opening night. it's v pink.

# ? Jul 19, 2023 02:43

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

Does GI Joe exist in the Barbie Cinematic Universe?

# ? Jul 19, 2023 03:00

Toxic Mental: Jun 1, 2019

I've got tickets to Oppenheimer on Thursday. On the IMAX big screen too.

# ? Jul 19, 2023 03:04

Lil Swamp Booger Baby: Aug 1, 1981

Bahbie

# ? Jul 19, 2023 03:16

MoonshineWilly: Feb 7, 2007; Damn you, harlot! Science and I know what we're doing!

Reviewer seems a little touchy about Proust references. It�s a movie, dude. Relax.

# ? Jul 19, 2023 03:17

TK8325: Sep 22, 2014

redshirt posted:

I honestly can't wait to see this.

Seriously, between this, MI7, Indiana Jones and Oppenheimer it is a great summer for movies.

# ? Jul 19, 2023 03:17

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

Proust was a baby bitch

# ? Jul 19, 2023 03:18

Bad Purchase: Jun 17, 2019

major spoilers in that review, DO NOT READ IT

# ? Jul 19, 2023 03:28

satanic splash-back: Jan 28, 2009

I will watch and enjoy the Barbie movie anyway and I won't even read the op

# ? Jul 19, 2023 03:35

Sophy Wackles: Dec 17, 2000; > access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.

Thanks for the heads up OP, I�ve cancelled my barbie tickets and also put my vintage barbie collection up for sale. This won�t stand.

# ? Jul 19, 2023 03:36

Smugworth: Apr 18, 2003

satanic splash-back posted:

I will watch and enjoy the Barbie movie anyway and I won't even read the op

It was very long and probably bad

# ? Jul 19, 2023 03:40

Private Cumshoe: Feb 15, 2019; AAAAAAAGAGHAAHGGAH

more like Bar-bra burning session

# ? Jul 19, 2023 03:43

Private Cumshoe: Feb 15, 2019; AAAAAAAGAGHAAHGGAH

I'll take my money elsewhere (Poopenheimer)

# ? Jul 19, 2023 03:43

Smugworth: Apr 18, 2003

satanic splash-back posted:

I will watch and enjoy the Barbie movie anyway and I won't even read the op

Smugworth posted:

It was very long and probably bad

Sorry I meant the op, the Barbie movie was great

# ? Jul 19, 2023 03:45

ninjoatse.cx: Apr 9, 2005; Fun Shoe

I never expected the Barbie movie to have a wickerman ending. wow, what a shocker.

# ? Jul 19, 2023 03:45

Grey Cat: Jun 3, 2023; Doing stuff and things

Chuds angry? Me watch.

# ? Jul 19, 2023 03:46

Private Cumshoe: Feb 15, 2019; AAAAAAAGAGHAAHGGAH

I stand with the South China Sea

# ? Jul 19, 2023 03:56

JediTalentAgent: Jun 5, 2005; Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!

Barbie had Jem assassinated.

# ? Jul 19, 2023 04:04