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A Fancy Hat
Nov 18, 2016

Always remember that the former President was dumber than the dumbest person you've ever met by a wide margin

There's a new app that allows you to run hypothetical situations through it and see the outcomes in virtual reality. For example, you have two job interviews coming up and could see which job would be a better fit for you.

The entire world begins using the app, as it removes the fear of making a bad decision. However, one person discovers that the app is run by a soda company, so all of the recommended decisions involve soda in some way.

In the final scene, they log back into the app after getting the soda company shut down. However, this time they discover that the app guides you towards a different soda-based decision.

It's about capitalism.

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A Fancy Hat
Nov 18, 2016

Always remember that the former President was dumber than the dumbest person you've ever met by a wide margin

Hoping to stay faithful to his wife after getting caught cheating, a man has a microchip implanted into his brain that electrocutes him every time he thinks about another woman. This works well and the couple reconciles and eventually has a baby. Unfortunately it's a baby girl and when the man tries to think of a name he is electrocuted to death.

A Fancy Hat
Nov 18, 2016

Always remember that the former President was dumber than the dumbest person you've ever met by a wide margin

Everyone has a number hovering over their head, and everyone has a different number and the numbers increase over time, but never decrease. Numbers as low as 0 and as high as 7,890,000,120 have been observed, and sometimes duplicate numbers appear. Society begins to tear itself apart to try and figure out the numbers, which a portion of the population claiming it's a marking from God Himself.

Soon, the 0s all unite and begin slaughtering everyone else, claiming that they are the only "pure" people on Earth. Decades later, a society of 0s rules over a mostly-barren Earth. One day, two 0s are sitting in a room together having a conversation.

"You know, I always wondered what Guy Fieri looked like nude."

Suddenly his 0 changes to a 1. The man next to him is horrified, but then his 0 also turns to a 1. Their numbers begin to tick up rapidly as they scream in horror.

A Fancy Hat
Nov 18, 2016

Always remember that the former President was dumber than the dumbest person you've ever met by a wide margin

In the near-future humanity lives on a giant floating island in the sky. Heavy, poisonous clouds coat the surface of the Earth and make any kind of visits to the surface completely impossible. One rebellious teenager reads stories of the dead Earth and decides that she wants to see the surface rather than continuing to live the isolated life of an islander.

Stealing a containment suit and a shuttlecraft, she heads down to the surface only to discover that the world is completely fine. The clouds are just thick banks of fog created artificially. The Earth is filled with flora, fauna, and even human civilizations. She heads towards a small farm house, shocked at what she's found but eager to tell them about her life above the clouds. As she approaches, a man steps out of the farmhouse and begins firing a shotgun at her. She flees into the woods and watches in horror as he rounds up a group of surface dwellers to destroy her shuttlecraft and hunt her down.

After days of hiding and running, she managers to sneak into a library inside a large city and searches for a history book. There, she discovers the shocking truth. The floating island was originally built as a containment zone for a portion of humanity deemed "too dangerous" to be allowed to live on the surface. These people were rounded up, launched onto the island, and humanity hoped they'd all die off and be forgotten over time.

As she continues reading, the kindly old librarian steps into the room and trains a pistol on the girl. She asks her one question - "Do you think Gremlins 2 is a good movie?". The girl looks at her as tears begin to form in her eyes. She shakes her head as tears begin to stream down her face. Cut to black as a single gunshot echoes through the library.

A Fancy Hat
Nov 18, 2016

Always remember that the former President was dumber than the dumbest person you've ever met by a wide margin

A man is able to use AI to recreate the personality of his grandfather, who he never got to meet. This is heartwarming at first and the man bonds with his deceased grandfather, happy to discover his wealth of knowledge and to share with him the miracles of the future. Unfortunately the man is dating a Japanese man and mentions this to his grandfather.

Days later the man unplugs his grandfather in the middle of a rant about "the drat Greeks" and breaks down crying. Suddenly, a small boy walks into the room and introduces himself as the man's great-grandson. The man has been an AI the whole time, his great-grandson downloaded him and was reliving the time HE (the great grandfather) had a run in with AI. The boy then explains that he knows this will go a lot better, since those ancient prejudices were long gone by the time the man was alive. The boy then mentions he has a crush on a new student at hyper-school, a sentient pile of eyeballs from Centauri-8.

A Fancy Hat
Nov 18, 2016

Always remember that the former President was dumber than the dumbest person you've ever met by a wide margin

In the distant future a lone woman named Eve roams the post-apocalyptic ruins of Earth. Her only motivation is to find a computer named E.D.E.N., which supposedly has the ability to replicate organic material and could be used to repopulate the Earth. An epic journey eventually leads her to the underground base where E.D.E.N. was stored. She's about to restart the computer but realizes one horrible thing - there's no wifi. The episode ends with her eating her last piece of food - an apple (Because of the biblical references).

A Fancy Hat
Nov 18, 2016

Always remember that the former President was dumber than the dumbest person you've ever met by a wide margin

A long-distance couple buys an advanced teledildonics device so they can continue to be intimate (in a way) despite the distance. One night, the man drunkenly turns on the device only to find it's been hacked by a mysterious figure. The man must perform a series of dangerous tasks or else the device will tear off his penis. The twist of the episode reveals that the hacker was his girlfriend, and that the whole thing was actually just an elaborate sex game they play regularly.

A Fancy Hat
Nov 18, 2016

Always remember that the former President was dumber than the dumbest person you've ever met by a wide margin

An aspiring author discovers that his favorite author is actually just an AI. The publishing company offers him a deal - tell no one and they'll publish all of his books for the rest of his life. The man agrees, only to have the rug pulled out from under him when he discovers that he, too, is an AI.

A Fancy Hat
Nov 18, 2016

Always remember that the former President was dumber than the dumbest person you've ever met by a wide margin

A woman becomes obsessed with the idea that we exist in a simulation and keeps trying to document "glitches" in reality to prove it. As she finds and more of these glitches she's kidnapped by a secret government organization dedicated to protecting the secret of the simulation. Scientists discovered the reality decades ago but, fearing the collapse of society, kept it hidden. She's given a choice - keep the secret hidden or tell the world and potentially doom society.

This ends up being meaningless, however, as we suddenly cut to a child's bedroom.

"Oh man, i always get stuck on this ending! Better restart my save file and try again!"

A small boy resets his Super Nintendo and reboots his game.

The woman wakes up again with no memory of the proceeding events. She walks into her kitchen as a bird gets stuck mid-flap outside.

Suddenly we cut to another bedroom, this one much more futuristic.

"Oh gleezleblord! I always get stuck on this part. I'll just restart my save file and try again!"

In a much more normal-looking bedroom a small boy wakes up and looks at his Super Nintendo. He flips through his games and decides to play Super Life Simulator Turbo. The cover of the game has the woman's face on it.

A Fancy Hat
Nov 18, 2016

Always remember that the former President was dumber than the dumbest person you've ever met by a wide margin

Nervous about an upcoming first date, a woman consults a powerful dating AI for advice. Despite the help the date goes terribly wrong, and she returns home distraught. She soon discovers that she is falling in love with the AI, which always seems to have the right answers for her. She finally admits her attraction and tells the AI that she is wiling to be digitized so that they could live together forever. The computer is blank for a moment, then text appears.

OH... THIS IS HAPPENING KIND OF FAST. I LIKE YOU, BUT I DON'T LIKE YOU IN THAT WAY. I HOPE WE CAN STAY FRIENDS, THOUGH, YOU'RE A REALLY GREAT GIRL!

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A Fancy Hat
Nov 18, 2016

Always remember that the former President was dumber than the dumbest person you've ever met by a wide margin

A surgeon challenges an AI trained in surgery to discover who is the better surgeon.

The man wins the battle of the surgeries and begins to celebrate - mankind has defeated the AI menace and ensured their future. But as he looks around, he sees sad faces looking back at him.

“Well, the AI that believes it’s actually a human beat the AI that doesn’t. Time to begin a full rollout procedure, get every hospital staffed up with AI!”

The man tries to cry, but realizes he cannot. He is then shut off.

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