what do you do

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > what do you do

Toxic Mental: Jun 1, 2019

eSports Chaebol posted:

i deal dice. here is the actual optimal way to play dice:

bet the don't pass line and lay max odds. that's it. if you have a lot of money you can bet the don't come and lay max odds behind too. ideally you want a table with a low minimum bet and high max odds, sometimes you can find $15/100X. the house edge on this is about 0.014%. it is very boring, it is a good way to lose all your money very quickly to the sort of swing that happens multiple times a day unless you have an insanely large bankroll, and it will also annoy other players at the table. it will additionally annoy the dealers a lot unless you make your lays proper (and even then on say a $25 game they're gonna be stumped on $24,996 max lay on the 6 or 8. it will slow down the game a ton)

Ugh but you're messing up the V~I~B~E of the table betting don't pass :mad:

I'm some rich entitled guy from LA on a business trip and I'm going to yell if you bet the don't pass :mad:

# ? Jul 25, 2023 17:23

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# ? May 10, 2024 17:20

Escape From Noise: Jul 27, 2004

I work in a small brewery. It's not so fun in the summer.

# ? Jul 25, 2023 17:24

Horace Kinch: Aug 15, 2007

i teach horses tae kwon do

# ? Jul 25, 2023 17:26

WILDTURKEY101: Mar 7, 2005; Look to your left. Look to your right. Only one of you is going to pass this course.

eSports Chaebol posted:

i deal dice. here is the actual optimal way to play dice:

bet the don't pass line and lay max odds. that's it. if you have a lot of money you can bet the don't come and lay max odds behind too. ideally you want a table with a low minimum bet and high max odds, sometimes you can find $15/100X. the house edge on this is about 0.014%. it is very boring, it is a good way to lose all your money very quickly to the sort of swing that happens multiple times a day unless you have an insanely large bankroll, and it will also annoy other players at the table. it will additionally annoy the dealers a lot unless you make your lays proper (and even then on say a $25 game they're gonna be stumped on $24,996 max lay on the 6 or 8. it will slow down the game a ton)

sounds like a job. tedious, everyone's annoyed at you, you sit all day.

I'm a high school English teacher and coach in a US public school. I like the work but it's 6 days/55-60 hours a week and I have to wake up at 5:30. I coach some good athletes so sometimes I have to travel far to competitions, which was cool when I was single in a 1br apartment, but less so now that I'm married with a house. It's all not as bad as everyone says, at least where I am. I'm left alone by parents and bosses to do my job, there no insane political bullshit at my school, but god drat do I work my rear end off.

# ? Jul 25, 2023 17:29

Pimpcasso: Mar 13, 2002; VOLS BITCH

sap transactions and making spreadsheet data readable so bosses can go "ooh number bigger good"

# ? Jul 25, 2023 17:30

Space Kablooey: May 6, 2009

bossy lady posted:

I think this video sums up what most goons (incl. me) do:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBfQr_FKHkw

Yeah this

# ? Jul 25, 2023 17:32

Modulo16: Feb 12, 2014; "Authorities say the phony Pope can be recognized by his high-top sneakers and incredibly foul mouth."

I am a consultant.

# ? Jul 25, 2023 17:33

Big Bowie Bonanza: Dec 30, 2007; please tell me where i can date this cute boy

WILDTURKEY101 posted:

sounds like a job. tedious, everyone's annoyed at you, you sit all day.

I'm a high school English teacher and coach in a US public school. I like the work but it's 6 days/55-60 hours a week and I have to wake up at 5:30. I coach some good athletes so sometimes I have to travel far to competitions, which was cool when I was single in a 1br apartment, but less so now that I'm married with a house. It's all not as bad as everyone says, at least where I am. I'm left alone by parents and bosses to do my job, there no insane political bullshit at my school, but god drat do I work my rear end off.

My long term partner is a middle school English teacher and absolutely loves it but she also runs a bunch of clubs and is having to take over NJHS because the old dude who did it died over the summer. I don�t know how you guys have the energy for it

# ? Jul 25, 2023 17:35

Modal Auxiliary: Jan 14, 2005

Horace Kinch posted:

i teach horses tae kwon do

That seems dangerous. Are they still rideable after you teach them? Asking for a friend.

I'm nannying two days a week while I get my counseling licensure paperwork together. Like literal paperwork. The state of Maryland wants hard copies of all my syllabi, a hand-filled LGPC application (because their version of the form doesn't have fillable fields and has to be printed anyway), curriculum/CACREP info, and a 2" x 2" photograph of myself (loving WHY?) and a goddamn $150 money order like it's the goddamn nineteenth loving century or something. I'm at almost 400 pages of poo poo already. And after they finally get everything finished (3-5 months from now because they literally have one person working on applications), I have to give them another $200 money order because they will effectively be holding my license hostage. poo poo sucks and I'm cranky, I just wanna get back in the field and help people.

# ? Jul 25, 2023 17:40

WILDTURKEY101: Mar 7, 2005; Look to your left. Look to your right. Only one of you is going to pass this course.

Big Bowie Bonanza posted:

My long term partner is a middle school English teacher and absolutely loves it but she also runs a bunch of clubs and is having to take over NJHS because the old dude who did it died over the summer. I don�t know how you guys have the energy for it

Dude I am real fuckin tired all the time. Except now, because it's summer. I still run practices 3x a week at 7:30AM for my running team though. Once you're tenured you can tell your bosses "no" when they ask you to do extra stuff, and they just stop asking you after a few times and continue to prey on the untenured.

# ? Jul 25, 2023 17:40

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

I go around and find cool poo poo to buy and resell. I know for a lot of people that brings up a negative idea in their head. I don't scalp PS5s or price gouge or sell broken poo poo. I pride myself on fair pricing and accurate descriptions and photos. I really like it when people leave happy because they got a good deal on something they really like.

I worked retail for most of my adult life and I was good at it but it steals your soul and burns you out. I find great value in being able to work from home and spend time with my partner and my cat whenever I want. I get to work on my house and in my yard whenever I want. I get to learn a lot about the world because I'll sell pretty much anything if it's profitable and ethical. I know a little something about everything from cross stitch kits to industrial machinery to vintage clothing.

# ? Jul 25, 2023 17:52

Shinjobi: Jul 10, 2008; Gravy Boat 2k

I work customer service and data entry for a non profit that oversees courier service primarily between libraries. It's extremely slow work but it's been a welcome change after working 3 years in auto insurance claims.

Pay could be better tho

# ? Jul 25, 2023 17:58

Vampire Panties: Apr 18, 2001; nposter; Nap Ghost

I tell big companies what to do with their phone systems. Sometimes this means I write up a bunch of nerdy stuff for a sales person, sometimes this means I work with the company directly and write up a bunch of stuff to tell them what to do.

I have done it for longer than my forums account existence, although I have never really :airquote:

liked

it; its always been about a paycheck and an intellectual challenge. I actually hit a wall 4ish years ago and decided that I would do absolutely anything other then help people buy/sell phone systems, but then COVID happened and after struggling for four years, I came to the realization that I may be functional at other stuff, but this is the only role where I'm exceptional

# ? Jul 25, 2023 18:06

Ralph Hurley: Aug 3, 2009

I draw stuff for an animated tv show.

At the end of this week I�ll be unemployed until they settle the writer�s strike. :thumbsup:

# ? Jul 25, 2023 18:07

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Can't post for 4 hours!

I teach....music :ignorance:

. And sometimes get paid to make or repair wooden things.

# ? Jul 25, 2023 18:19

goatface: Dec 5, 2007; I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.; Grimey Drawer

I search and examine patents for the UK intellectual property office. Mostly medical devices. Anything from a tampon to a proton beam radiotherapy device.

# ? Jul 25, 2023 18:19

Droogie: Mar 21, 2007; But what I do
I do
because I like to do.

Grab Im Moor posted:

I'm buying & managing medical supplies for care/nursing homes OP. Medical supplies, like for example a teeny tiny cushion for sore balls.

Can we get a link for ball pillows?

# ? Jul 25, 2023 18:19

eSports Chaebol: Feb 22, 2005; Yeah, actually, gamers in the house forever,

Toxic Mental posted:

Ugh but you're messing up the V~I~B~E of the table betting don't pass

I'm some rich entitled guy from LA on a business trip and I'm going to yell if you bet the don't pass

actual advice for someone who doesnt play dice but is visiting las vegas or something:

go up to a busy table in the middle of a roll (that means the big button up by the big numbers says ON instead of OFF), throw $5 onto the felt, and say you want to bet "any 7". it's not actually a good bet because it pays 4:1 (or maybe 4.33:1) when the odds of it hitting are 1 in 6, but its a great way to get people to mumble and grumble and maybe even yell at you if a 7 rolls

# ? Jul 25, 2023 18:35

bradzilla: Oct 15, 2004

lead IT conference calls for fixing broken poo poo

it's absurdly easy and pays insanely well

# ? Jul 25, 2023 18:36

Revins: Nov 2, 2007; tune the FM in to static and pretend that its the sea

I work for an industrial cleaning service that does mostly dry ice blasting. It sucks like 10% of the time and is super chill the rest. A lot of jobs are nights/weekends which we get time and a half for so the pay's surprisingly good for the amount of work actually involved. Its just a lot of driving and staying in hotels sometimes

# ? Jul 25, 2023 18:38

Droogie: Mar 21, 2007; But what I do
I do
because I like to do.

I mostly look at my phone. Occasionally I fire a laser at a piece of precious metal and then approvingly nod at it or look skeptically at it.

I used to just subject myself to unspeakable horrors, make people mad, and get bit by animals, so it's an improvement.

# ? Jul 25, 2023 18:39

Toxic Mental: Jun 1, 2019

eSports Chaebol posted:

actual advice for someone who doesnt play dice but is visiting las vegas or something:

go up to a busy table in the middle of a roll (that means the big button up by the big numbers says ON instead of OFF), throw $5 onto the felt, and say you want to bet "any 7". it's not actually a good bet because it pays 4:1 (or maybe 4.33:1) when the odds of it hitting are 1 in 6, but its a great way to get people to mumble and grumble and maybe even yell at you if a 7 rolls

The maddest I've ever seen someone at a craps table is some big loud I'M HER DAD-energy guy was in the middle of a long roll and someone wanted to change like $1000 and the guy was so steaming mad he was nearly crying, as if the dice were somehow going to be any different than if he rolled 90 seconds faster. He was completely beside himself, rolling his eyes and hands on hips, doing the "the gently caress is this poo poo" hand motion. It ruled. The guy also did the thing where every time he rolled he would yell for the button number "GIMME TEN!!!" or "SHOW ME EIGHT" or whatever, he'd scream every single roll. Just insanely obnoxious, toxic casino player.

# ? Jul 25, 2023 18:43

pop fly to McGillicutty: Feb 2, 2004; A peckish little mouse!

Cry

# ? Jul 25, 2023 18:55

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Can't post for 4 hours!

pop fly to McGillicutty posted:

Cry

What a wiener

# ? Jul 25, 2023 19:03

manpurse: Mar 19, 2007

I am an estimator/project manager.

I get paid too much to watch other people work and make sure they don't gently caress everything up.

# ? Jul 25, 2023 19:08

MonkeyHate: Oct 11, 2002; Dance, monkey, dance!; Taco Defender

Im a contract killer for costco. i sit in a small room all day, empty except for a phone. It will ring if someone tries to raise the price of the hotdog.

# ? Jul 25, 2023 19:23

bagmonkey: May 13, 2003; Grimey Drawer

I push butan all day

I post a lot, answer questions, dig into issues, write requirements, do some engineering, tell people we're not fixing that, etc. It's fun, I love ITMS, it's TISM spelled differently

# ? Jul 25, 2023 19:32

Thesaurus: Oct 3, 2004

TK8325 posted:

I'm a night watchman at a care home for the cognitively disabled. Been doing that for 10 years now. I mostly watch movies on TCM and play videogames. Sometimes I have to clean up poop and pee, then it's back to movies and videogames.

is it like in one flew over the cuckoo's nest, when they sneak in the booze and women at night for a secret party?

# ? Jul 25, 2023 20:01

Thesaurus: Oct 3, 2004

I listen to people's problems and help them mutually settle their disputes, usually for $$$

# ? Jul 25, 2023 20:03

Samuel L. Hacksaw: Mar 26, 2007; Never Stop Posting

I work at the meeting factory. I had 11 already today and one more to go.

We talk about doing work.

I have about 40 meetings a week.

It's super fun.

# ? Jul 25, 2023 20:09

Grab Im Moor: Apr 4, 2022

Droogie posted:

Can we get a link for ball pillows?

I don't know anything about the bed positioning & anti bedsore device market in the US sorry :shrug:

.
It's called Hodenbank or Hodenb�nkchen (diminutive) here, another example: https://www.claravital.de/NOBA-Hodenbank
Probably a good thing to have on hand after a hardcore session with your balldo!

# ? Jul 25, 2023 20:14

cumpantry: Dec 18, 2020

i just got this seasonal wfh gig making camping reservations for old people who can't or don't want to do it themselves. pretty relaxed and i can poo poo whenever i want. wherever i want, too, but i generally use the bathroom beside our room

other than that it's laying around in pain and chipping away at my disability app :hampants:

# ? Jul 25, 2023 20:26

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Modal Auxiliary posted:

and a 2" x 2" photograph of myself (loving WHY?)

Gotta weed out the uggos.

# ? Jul 25, 2023 20:29

Rock Paper Tongue: Oct 24, 2016; May cause birth defects

I do CAD poo poo in the semiconductor industry. Ostensibly that means I maintain tools and model libraries, run simulations, and do verification and qual testing. In practice, that means I have to figure out the one specific combination of inputs and tool versions and blood sacrifices that makes the computer happy so that we can move designs down the pipeline.

WILDTURKEY101 posted:

I'm a high school English teacher and coach in a US public school

I have a few friends who teach highschool and I have no idea how y'all do it. One person I know was completely reliant on the VA to keep their house and eventually had to move to a small rural town in Alaska for work so that they could actually make enough money teaching to support themselves.

# ? Jul 25, 2023 20:33

MonkeyHate: Oct 11, 2002; Dance, monkey, dance!; Taco Defender

I'm an administrator at a care home for the cognitively disabled. Been doing that for 10 years now. Our residents believe they are night watchmen and mostly they watch movies on TCM and play videogames. We give them little chores to help keep them stimulated like cleaning up poop and pee, then it's back to movies and videogames.

# ? Jul 25, 2023 20:46

Treecko: Apr 23, 2008; The Official Demon Girl
Boss of 2022!

Target.

The people are nice there and they seem to like me.

Lots to learn and do, my team is pretty chill and nobody's breathing down your back.

# ? Jul 25, 2023 20:55

SIDS Vicious: Jan 1, 1970

MonkeyHate posted:

I'm an administrator at a care home for the cognitively disabled. Been doing that for 10 years now. Our residents believe they are night watchmen and mostly they watch movies on TCM and play videogames. We give them little chores to help keep them stimulated like cleaning up poop and pee, then it's back to movies and videogames.

lol

# ? Jul 25, 2023 20:58

Treecko: Apr 23, 2008; The Official Demon Girl
Boss of 2022!

I gave a guest some uncrustables from my personal stash Sunday because we didn't have what was in stock. I got called into management and cried because I thought I was going to get in trouble.

Got a 10$ gift card in exchange for being a kind person instead.

gently caress yeah

# ? Jul 25, 2023 20:59

bradzilla: Oct 15, 2004

I'm a night watchmen and occasionally cleanup some poop and pee. Pretty good

# ? Jul 25, 2023 21:16

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# ? May 10, 2024 17:20

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

I poop and pee to give the night watchman something to do. Pretty easy work.

# ? Jul 25, 2023 21:18

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