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Lt. Cock posted:Posting in the future murderer honeypot thread Posting in this thread is fine. The forums were already dead when we got here.
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Jul 29, 2023 17:28
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Be an 80's action hero and come up with a really good one liner. But like just the best one.
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Jul 29, 2023 17:30
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Wet Bulb Drip posted:Make a post so bad that people who read it die Business as usual then?
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Jul 29, 2023 17:44
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I'd like to tell the jury a little story about the concept of "irony"
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Jul 29, 2023 17:51
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I'm not doing your homework for you OP
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Jul 29, 2023 17:54
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Funky See Funky Do posted:Murder Jeffery in his sleep and then simply be long since dead of old age by the time anyone notices anything is amiss. *Genesplicer writes furiously
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Jul 29, 2023 18:29
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easy. i'll make bullets out of ice and shoot them from my ghost gun (also made of ice) while wearing a disposable bunny suit (made of ice). after the deed is done, I simply put all my ice equipment in the freezer and put a huge lock on it. good luck getting though a lock, idiots.
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Jul 29, 2023 18:40
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invent a time machine and set it to 100000 B.C. and shove the person through it
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Jul 29, 2023 18:44
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I never leave home without at least 5 pieces of fake hitler moustasches that i can slap on the face of my victims
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Jul 29, 2023 18:57
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Panic! At The Tesco posted:i'd go for the classic stab them with an icicle, melt the evidence. Do this but put the icicle on a drone to further reduce risk of crime scene contamination
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Jul 29, 2023 19:16
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Marry someone who doesn't believe in divorce and then drive them to drink and heavy drug use. The perfect crime.
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Jul 29, 2023 19:17
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Would any of you fine gentlemen be in the market for some special hamburgers? I guarantee you never tasted anything like it! and I need to offload all my stock like yesterday.
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Jul 29, 2023 19:29
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STAB THEM WITH AN ICICLE!!!!!!!!!!!
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Jul 29, 2023 19:45
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Aww I think someone already said that ):
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Jul 29, 2023 19:45
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Buce posted:easy. i'll make bullets out of ice and shoot them from my ghost gun (also made of ice) while wearing a disposable bunny suit (made of ice). after the deed is done, I simply put all my ice equipment in the freezer and put a huge lock on it. good luck getting though a lock, idiots. Especially if the ice key is in the freezer. 
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Jul 29, 2023 20:56
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What if we upgrade from an ice shiv to an ice bullet?
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Jul 29, 2023 21:02
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*votes in an american election*
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Jul 29, 2023 21:07
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Make a carbon fiber submarine. Promote it to rich people. Offer a free trip to someone. Find the lil bro controller from the toy box.
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Jul 29, 2023 21:22
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Just wait. They’ll die eventually.
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Jul 29, 2023 21:54
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Stab them with an icicle made from their own piss
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Jul 29, 2023 21:56
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Nooner posted:STAB THEM WITH AN ICICLE!!!!!!!!!!! Uncultured swine. You should use an ice katana.
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Jul 29, 2023 22:14
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Go hiking and push the victim off a cliff. If any one asks just say you went hiking alone and menacingly ask them if they want to be the next person you go hiking with.
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Jul 29, 2023 22:34
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Get someone very drunk and lure them down to a labyrinthine crypt with the promise of a cask of amontillado. In their enfeebled and confused state, start an encounter with a lich and their army of skeleton warriors
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Jul 29, 2023 22:51
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nice obelisk idiot posted:Get someone very drunk and lure them down to a labyrinthine crypt with the promise of a cask of amontillado. In their enfeebled and confused state, start an encounter with a lich and their army of skeleton warriors I feel like I should roll for initiative
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Jul 29, 2023 22:52
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Become a famous actor and produce a Western-style movie where you can hire your enemies as director and cinematographer.
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Jul 29, 2023 23:01
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Just go to an active warzone and start murdering. No one's keeping count or paying much attention.
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Jul 29, 2023 23:12
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sex excellence posted:*votes in an american election* AV / name / Post wombo combo.
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Jul 29, 2023 23:20
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If I learned anything from Forensic Files its make sure you buy all the goddamn luminol in a 50-mile radius.
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Jul 29, 2023 23:26
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completely drench the crime scene in my own blood, too, so the coppers can't determine who's the victim and who's the perp
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Jul 29, 2023 23:41
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Kill you are self.What are they gonna do, send your corpse to prison?
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Jul 30, 2023 00:16
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Marry an icicle millionaire than stab them with a sharpened person and then melt the person so there's no murder weapon.
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Jul 30, 2023 00:57
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BigBadSteve posted:Kill you are self.What are they gonna do, send your corpse to prison? Yes.
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Jul 30, 2023 00:58
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Step 1: find some way to track the coordinates of his private plane
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Jul 30, 2023 01:00
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nice obelisk idiot posted:Get someone very drunk and lure them down to a labyrinthine crypt with the promise of a cask of amontillado. In their enfeebled and confused state, start an encounter with a lich and their army of skeleton warriors Shine a light into their eye, then strangle them and hide their remains under the floorboards. Then, when the police come to investigate, start an encounter with a lich and their army of skeleton warriors.
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Jul 30, 2023 02:49
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litter the crime scene with hundreds of high resolution photographs of the Spider-Man and a single stained bunny slipper, implicating a child who likes the Spider-Man
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Jul 30, 2023 03:30
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Let your victim live into old age and die of natural causes.
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Jul 30, 2023 03:34
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Just invent human beings, they're very good at finding ways to kill people. After that you can just sit back and let nature do it things.
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Jul 30, 2023 03:39
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Make the murder out of ice. After it melts, no one will even know it happened!
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Jul 30, 2023 03:54
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i live well, in happiness and health. i eat right, work out, get regular medical checkups. i pay attention to my loved ones, and genuinely enjoy my time on this planet. in so doing, i extend my life past my target's. the perfect murder because time does my work for me. 
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Jul 30, 2023 05:15
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Coolguye posted:i live well, in happiness and health. i eat right, work out, get regular medical checkups. i pay attention to my loved ones, and genuinely enjoy my time on this planet. in so doing, i extend my life past my target's. the perfect murder because time does my work for me. lol, your targets totally just going to pick axe you in your sleep like a normal person would.
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Jul 30, 2023 06:43
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