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Whimsicalfuckery
Sep 6, 2011

Picture the scene. It's your turn to host cheese and wine night with the boys. They'll be here in half an hour, but you've run out of the most crucial of ingredients.

STOP

Don't run to the store for mass-produced, overpriced crackers. Free yourself from the tyranny of preservatives and palm oil in your sodium-laden snackbreads.

YOU WILL NEED:
Water
Flour

This makes hard-tack which is the bitch-rear end precursor to the cracker, so you might want to spring for:

Oil
Salt
Sugar
Herbs

I'm using this recipe but you can substitute most of the ingredients with whatever
https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/homemade-rosemary-crackers

STEP ONE:
Get your poo poo together


Weigh your ingredients and mash it together with your hands like some kind of caveman


Roll it out on some greaseproof paper and cut it into shapes with a pizza cutter or knife



Bake in the oven for 15 minutes at 220c, let cool and enjoy


You can basically put whatever you want in your crackers and they'll taste good. Wanna do chilli flakes and balsamic? Go for it. Garlic and sea salt? Sounds good.

Q) "Why would I want to make some dumb crackers when I could make some nice bread instead?"
A) Bread takes time. WE DON'T HAVE THE TIME.

Don't give me any of this "planning ahead" bullshit. Crackers are for the 2am binge, for the gourmet on-the-go. And they store for up to 2 weeks in an airtight container so you can make big snack, anytime.

Anyway go make some drat crackers and maybe post them why don't you.

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Whimsicalfuckery
Sep 6, 2011




Tried a recipe that uses butter today which meant I could crumb the butter and flour together. I really liked these ones, even if half of them came out a little softer than I would have liked. Probably could roll the dough thinner, but the really crispy ones all have bubbles which I'm not sure how to replicate across the whole batch!

pandy fackler
Jun 2, 2020

I save up my sourdough discard in the fridge and turn it into a batch of crackers every 2 weeks or so. 800g discard + 112g melted butter + 4g salt + 8 tsp whatever seasoning (rosemary, everything bagel, nutritional yeast for vegan cheeze-its). Spread thin on parchment paper and play it by ear at 325, score at 10 minutes if you want nice little squares.

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