burger theory

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canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

booked some time at a SMASHBURGER lab for an experiment to test for an as-yet undiscovered non-beef burger even smaller than the slider, the Higgs-Bison

# ? Aug 20, 2023 00:26

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# ? May 6, 2024 05:36

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

# ? Aug 20, 2023 00:27

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

heard all the exaggerated jokes from burger engineers about how my discipline isn't "real world applicable"

# ? Aug 20, 2023 00:27

Viginti Septem: Oculus Noctuae

Observe our new Double-Slider Experiment.

https://i.imgur.com/9jTkSUL.mp4
Thanks to vanisher for the paradise sig!

# ? Aug 20, 2023 00:48

Finger Prince

Published my theoretical burger recipe in the prestigious scholarly journal Handheld Science

Finger Prince fucked around with this message at 01:30 on Aug 20, 2023

# ? Aug 20, 2023 01:25

DoomCroissant: Roll D3 for Delicious Flaky Crust

i got my master's degree in burgerology at the hamburger university

# ? Aug 20, 2023 02:40

your friend sk: (ヤイケス!)

a burger and an anti-burger are known to display quantum entanglement of states. this is true even over long distances, we believe due to a theoretical particle called the Hamburger Helper

Join the BYOB Army

^{thank you again Saoshyant!!}

# ? Aug 20, 2023 03:20

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

"i thought you said we were having steamed clams"
"oh no, STEM hams!"

# ? Aug 20, 2023 03:47

Gaylor Moon: Gender? I hardly know'er

does it come w/ fries & a soda??

# ? Aug 20, 2023 07:29

watho: The real world will, again tomorrow, function and run without me.

burger theory is good but i always preferred meteora

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/BigClutteredJoey-mobile.mp4
thank u vanisher for the sig
and thank u nesamdoom for the good loops

# ? Aug 20, 2023 10:58

watho: The real world will, again tomorrow, function and run without me.

i've become well-done

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/BigClutteredJoey-mobile.mp4
thank u vanisher for the sig
and thank u nesamdoom for the good loops

# ? Aug 20, 2023 10:58

Finger Prince

watho posted:

i've become well-done

Destroyer of flavor

# ? Aug 20, 2023 14:21

Manifisto

Viginti Septem posted:

Observe our new Double-Slider Experiment.

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Aug 20, 2023 16:20

Manifisto

someone I know believes they have a grand unified soup-in-a-bread-bowl theory, but science has not yet accepted the link between burgerology(/burgeronomy, please let's not get started on the distinction here) and the rest of the known comestible forces

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Aug 20, 2023 16:21

Finger Prince

Sure, burger theory makes for a convenient, easily digestible conceptualization, but we thought that about cheese string theory until someone brought up lactose intolerance.

# ? Aug 20, 2023 16:46

DoomCroissant: Roll D3 for Delicious Flaky Crust

what is the academic position on dr. dave thomas' theory of square pattyerization

# ? Aug 21, 2023 14:12

watho: The real world will, again tomorrow, function and run without me.

squaring the circle of wendy's patties

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/BigClutteredJoey-mobile.mp4
thank u vanisher for the sig
and thank u nesamdoom for the good loops

# ? Aug 21, 2023 14:48

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

My university's burger textbooks haven't been updated in decades. There's a chapter called "Hamburger Sandwiches in the Space Age: Styrofoam and Atomic Broilers?"

# ? Aug 21, 2023 15:12

ShimmyGuy: One morning, Shimmy awoke to find he was a awesome shiny bug.

No you don't understand our workers are skilled, they just believe in maintaining schrodinger's pickles

# ? Aug 21, 2023 16:02

watho: The real world will, again tomorrow, function and run without me.

nasa is spending billions of dollars every year trying to finally achieve mankind's biggest dream of a sun-grilled burger

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/BigClutteredJoey-mobile.mp4
thank u vanisher for the sig
and thank u nesamdoom for the good loops

# ? Aug 21, 2023 16:18

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

So instead of putting our burger on the grill, we're going to put it where the grill would be three parallel worlds away. This allows us to do half flips instead of full flips. This shaves 23 seconds off our cooking time, but causes the grill to crash if you put a cheese slice on top of the burger, which is why you instead need to have the bun and cheese slice next to each other in your inventory. In my previous video, I showed how to trick the memory slot into creating a whole bun from only one bun fragment...

# ? Aug 21, 2023 16:35

watho: The real world will, again tomorrow, function and run without me.

Buttchocks posted:

So instead of putting our burger on the grill, we're going to put it where the grill would be three parallel worlds away. This allows us to do half flips instead of full flips. This shaves 23 seconds off our cooking time, but causes the grill to crash if you put a cheese slice on top of the burger, which is why you instead need to have the bun and cheese slice next to each other in your inventory. In my previous video, I showed how to trick the memory slot into creating a whole bun from only one bun fragment...

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/BigClutteredJoey-mobile.mp4
thank u vanisher for the sig
and thank u nesamdoom for the good loops

# ? Aug 21, 2023 17:08

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

sandwich fundamentalists opened an elaborate museum in which they argue, against the commonly accepted science, that burgers could not exist

# ? Aug 21, 2023 17:53

Escape From Noise

The (confirmed) theory is that the "burger" is a sandwich.

Thank you Pot Smoke Pheonnix for this Kickin' Rad sig

# ? Aug 23, 2023 17:23

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

Burger Luke theory

# ? Aug 23, 2023 18:04

watho: The real world will, again tomorrow, function and run without me.

my theory is that i'm gonna make some burgs this weekend. the hypothesis is that they will be tastey stay tuned for results

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/BigClutteredJoey-mobile.mp4
thank u vanisher for the sig
and thank u nesamdoom for the good loops

# ? Aug 23, 2023 18:32

baka of lathspell

Buttchocks posted:

So instead of putting our burger on the grill, we're going to put it where the grill would be three parallel worlds away. This allows us to do half flips instead of full flips. This shaves 23 seconds off our cooking time, but causes the grill to crash if you put a cheese slice on top of the burger, which is why you instead need to have the bun and cheese slice next to each other in your inventory. In my previous video, I showed how to trick the memory slot into creating a whole bun from only one bun fragment...

lmao

^{join dork order}
_{sig by ??? (<3 u)}

# ? Aug 25, 2023 23:21

How Wonderful!: I only have excellent ideas

walking crisply into the auditorium in a black turtle neck, pencil skirt, boots, hair in a severe bun. 200 terrified harvard undergrads hold their breath. I walk to the chalk board and with ruthless, precise strokes write JACQUES DERRIDA on the board. I stare and then write ""IL N'Y A PAS DE HORS-BRIOCHE." confused silence, the dim sounds of a handful of pencils flitting across notebooks. "What IS a burger," I ask, almost sternly. no hands emerge from the crowd. I turn to the board and draw a single black bean. and then another. and then a third, and then. the crowd loses its poo poo. an ocean of cheers, applause. bras flying in from the outfield and hitting th e drat podium. "Welcome," I say, "to english 3220."

-sig by Manifisto! goblin by Khanstant! News and possum by deep dish peat moss!

# ? Aug 25, 2023 23:34

Zoya: echoes of a distant past,
bodies die but voices last.
once were held within a cell,
your mind is where these voices dwell.

quantum burg theory

thank you snuff melange for the beautiful winter siggy~!

# ? Aug 26, 2023 02:47

deep dish peat moss

watho posted:

nasa is spending billions of dollars every year trying to finally achieve mankind's biggest dream of a sun-grilled burger

and the russians just bought a grill

# ? Aug 26, 2023 04:54

deep dish peat moss

Having a BBQ this weekend and considering bringing some Bose-Einstein Condiments.

# ? Aug 26, 2023 04:55

deep dish peat moss

Would you like the Small, Medium, or Hypothesize?

# ? Aug 26, 2023 04:58

Finger Prince

Let's say your friend is grilling burgers. He's got enough for everyone there, but not enough for seconds. Some of the people are going to ask for a veggie burger, some of them are going to ask for a brat. That will free up some burgers for secondary consumption. The question is, do you also ask for a brat, increasing the number of free burgers in the pool, or do you get a burger first and hope that everyone else is going for the first option? What is the most advantageous position to take in order to maximize the number of burgers available to everyone?

# ? Aug 26, 2023 07:19

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

Finger Prince posted:

Let's say your friend is grilling burgers. He's got enough for everyone there, but not enough for seconds. Some of the people are going to ask for a veggie burger, some of them are going to ask for a brat. That will free up some burgers for secondary consumption. The question is, do you also ask for a brat, increasing the number of free burgers in the pool, or do you get a burger first and hope that everyone else is going for the first option? What is the most advantageous position to take in order to maximize the number of burgers available to everyone?

never ask for seconds. start by asking for fourths and then grab 3 more plates :boonie:

if questioned, say "a growing boy needs nourishment"

:btroll:

spring sigs by nesamdoom and Ravenous Scoot

# ? Aug 26, 2023 07:33

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

Finger Prince posted:

Let's say your friend is grilling burgers. He's got enough for everyone there, but not enough for seconds. Some of the people are going to ask for a veggie burger, some of them are going to ask for a brat. That will free up some burgers for secondary consumption. The question is, do you also ask for a brat, increasing the number of free burgers in the pool, or do you get a burger first and hope that everyone else is going for the first option? What is the most advantageous position to take in order to maximize the number of burgers available to everyone?

oh, this is an example of game theory from nobel prize laureate mathematician john nash! he was portrayed by russell crowe in the biographical oscar winning film "Goodburger"

# ? Aug 26, 2023 07:48

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

deep dish peat moss posted:

Would you like the Small, Medium, or Hypothesize?

# ? Aug 26, 2023 15:39

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

Hamburgler, Escher, Bach

# ? Aug 26, 2023 15:41

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

i'm working in the kitchen and the waiter asks which one of these heisenburgers is for table 6. I keep telling him that I either know where the burger is or which table it's going to, but never both.

# ? Aug 26, 2023 16:58

Finger Prince

In this paper I will prove mathematically that the lines of definition for smashburger and slider never intersect.

# ? Aug 26, 2023 17:14

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# ? May 6, 2024 05:36

baka of lathspell

How Wonderful! posted:

walking crisply into the auditorium in a black turtle neck, pencil skirt, boots, hair in a severe bun. 200 terrified harvard undergrads hold their breath. I walk to the chalk board and with ruthless, precise strokes write JACQUES DERRIDA on the board. I stare and then write ""IL N'Y A PAS DE HORS-BRIOCHE." confused silence, the dim sounds of a handful of pencils flitting across notebooks. "What IS a burger," I ask, almost sternly. no hands emerge from the crowd. I turn to the board and draw a single black bean. and then another. and then a third, and then. the crowd loses its poo poo. an ocean of cheers, applause. bras flying in from the outfield and hitting th e drat podium. "Welcome," I say, "to english 3220."

lol

^{join dork order}
_{sig by ??? (<3 u)}

# ? Aug 26, 2023 19:04

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