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man scrolling thru that ram dass op, seeing a bunch of old friends again. hell yeah, that's the way to do it. finally feels like im in the trump thread again. feels like home
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Sep 6, 2023 22:22
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UFOTacoMan posted:trum or die or both trunt and die i trum, i die, i trunt again 
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Sep 6, 2023 22:49
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RealityWarCriminal posted:Right now Republicans in Congress and the Senate have to get tough, and put everything together in one big, neat package, because I will be President in one and a half years, and we will pick the strongest, toughest, and most respected Attorney General, and if guilty, we will put them all in jail where they belong, just as they are trying to do to me based on NOTHING. 
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Sep 6, 2023 22:56
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crime fighting hog posted:Was this Spicer's "Even Hitler didn't use chemical weapons!" moment? yeah i think that was the one. it's sublime, the progression from puzzlement to disbelief to open mouthed incredulity this woman goes through as she tries to process the undreamed of levels of what the actual gently caress??? in what she is hearing. its wonderful, a perfect summary of the moment everyone truly came face to face with the new reality of trump and how loving wild poo poo was about to get you can almost hear the crack ping. there would be many more to follow e: beaten hard, but i do love this gif so
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Sep 6, 2023 23:30
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i turn around in my seat to face the passengers in my truck that are screaming at me, begging me to do something, anything please for the love of god help us, and i tell that i hear them, i share their concerns and i will be acting to address the situation very soon with a gentle tap on the brakes. sure, I know the pedal needs to pushed down a lot further to have any effect and it would be great if we could do that but we can't. not now. if we did that the truck would stop and the truck doesn't want to stop. but this thing I'm doing is pretty good, and i'm not even doing it for me I'm doing it for you. and also for everyone else. even babies who don't even know. it's pretty brave and impressive really i turn back and focus my attention again to the many responsibilities and demands of the drivers seat, i've done all i can. dont know know much they believed, i can hear them whispering to each about me to back there but it's enough they're quiet and not shouting now. I grab the wheel and cast my eye over the many dials and lights on the dashboard, what are they for i wonder? it doesn't seem to matter. outside the air rushes around us with whistling noises as we speed along, the view of cliff face through the window is just a blur. i dont know how fast we are going but it must be pretty fast, we've been falling for a long, long time. long enough i don't really remember exactly when we drove over the edge. trying to remember i suddenly realise with a start i forgot my promise, don't want the others getting all fussy again. with a chuckle i give the useless brake pedal a quick tap. and then another, just for the hell of it, and settle back in my chair, looking out the windscreen at nothing in particular and wondering why did we even think it was a good idea to get into the truck in the first place. where the hell did we think we were going? nearby on the cliff face a gull making a nest is briefly startled when a huge glinting something plummets past her with a roar and a fierce rush of wind, but once the strange thing is gone she quickly forgets it ever existed. it wasn't that important really.
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Sep 7, 2023 07:51
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Schmoe Cwead posted:
gracie is a good cat and she deserves a nice rest. i hope she gets better and has many days of eating and sleeping ahead of her.
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Sep 7, 2023 08:07
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crime fighting hog posted:also this. I'll have to look up later who trump actually pardoned vs who he said he would vs who said he said he would lol iirc nearly all of his pardons were doled out in the last weeks/days of the trump supremacy, almost all of them went to people convicted on fraud and/or corruption charges, and nearly of those pardons were basically sold openly to the highest bidder by trump aides and lobbyists
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Sep 7, 2023 18:29
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the milk machine posted:yeah I've heard that plenty but I've never heard "by the order of the president" or w/e dude if they ask you to stand for the anthem but didn't say "by the order of the president" and you stand up that means you're out. poo poo man, that's treason
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Sep 7, 2023 18:59
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External Organs posted:Is this an automatic way to get enrolled in Canadian healthcare? Asking for a friend i think the automatic way to be enrolled is to be born canadian. which i guess is also basically a treasonous act sooooo ... yeah you know what i bet it is. and i was born canadian myself (truly) so i'm fairly certain i would know tell your friend, the answer is treason
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Sep 7, 2023 19:14
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crime fighting hog posted:pretty interesting to put an emu in your letterhead considering your country lost a war to them we had to do it, it was the price we paid to stop the madness* *the madness of war, not the madness of emus. they are all still loving bonkers
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Sep 7, 2023 19:21
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crime fighting hog posted:ok legitimately great wait what? how have i lived here for decades and never heard this. it rules, very aussie. plausible but could well be a pisstake, simultaneously quite clever and eye rollingly stupid, sounds profound, is very likely bullshit made up on the spur of the moment after the fact. also no one really knows or cares about it. artists impression of the creation of the crest: "poo poo Nev, I represented the shield with this shield, but how the hell am i gonna represent the droiving ethos of continuous societal progress on the fuckin shield? I need sumthin that's always goin forward. Whaddya reckon?" Nev looks around, thinks for a bit. Scratches "Ya ever see a roo goin backwards?" .... "Fuuuuuuuuck, bloody genius you are. Ok, a roo. Need one for the other side. What other animals don't go around backwards?" "... all of them I think." "Yeah... gently caress it, emu, she'll do. comin to the pub?" "We're at the pub mate." "Bewdy."
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Sep 7, 2023 20:23
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Vim Fuego posted:You can do anything on X, the everything app You can do anything on X  but you can't post that 
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Sep 7, 2023 23:02
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Virgil Vox posted:nite crew https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSeoJGWgV98
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Sep 8, 2023 06:02
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Consummate Professional posted:the beehive is a good place for ü know wút misbeehiving
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Sep 8, 2023 10:17
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Vim Fuego posted:
Ranger nooo get out of there  
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Sep 8, 2023 17:02
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Buddykins posted:I wish i had hobbies or talent done! i'm actually a genie irl and just for shits and giggles i'm going to comp you this one. your wish has been granted, you now have talents and hobbies. you are welcome. buuuuut here's the thing, i'm not so much a "your wish is my command type" instant gratification kind of genie, i'm more the other kind, the kind where you really should be careful in how you phrase your wish unless you like surprise twists. you were not careful so y'know all those talents you now have and the hobbies you enjoy? what's that? you say you don't know.... yeah. surprise bitch oh you got 'em alright, some real good ones too. thing is i ain't telling you what they are. you want them, only way you're going to find out is by getting out there and trying a bunch of different things. might take a while, might have to give all kinds stuff a go, but i promise you, when you find out you are good at or just enjoy things you never imagined, it's worth it. you'll be amazed. buddykins in case my tremendouly subtle veneer of bullshit obscured my message, you have talents you don't know about, and there's a billion hobbies, some of which you will enjoy. you gotta go find 'em sometime tho.
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Sep 8, 2023 18:00
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titty_baby_ posted:My dad refuses to order burgers when he eats out because "why the gently caress would I pay for something I can make so easily at home" his reasoning is interesting but i think your dad is right not to do so. ordering burgers when you're eating out is a considered a bit of a social faux pas. you should finish up what's in front of you first, then see if you still want burgers. and be sure to ask if the other person would like a burger too
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Sep 8, 2023 19:18
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External Organs posted:If the Pope calls you by your true Italian name you immediately poo poo your pants the Pope can cast Holy Ordure up to 6x per day
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Sep 8, 2023 19:42
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Boob Cop posted:In my day, this was how we posted oh poo poo my family literally used to do this when i was a kid. there was an old typewriter sitting out that always had to have paper in it and anyone could use it to write whatever they felt like, as themselves or anonymous ( or someone else) but it had to be left there for anyone to read. it was pretty cool, we still have some of the sheets in order. scarily similar to posting, about 30 odd msgs per page, some cool, some nice, tons of stupid poo poo, and ever more inventive attempts to gently caress with the other posters brains. wow that was a nice memory, thank you poster Boob Cop
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Sep 8, 2023 20:05
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RBC posted:thats a cool idea it really is, if i had kids i would love do the same thing.
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Sep 8, 2023 20:11
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how it started: criminal blockchain gang how it's going: criminal block chaingang
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Sep 8, 2023 21:45
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Red Baron posted:the gig economy takes no prisoners it will once my new startup Instacarceration gets a little of that sweet VC funding. pitch goes something like this Instacarceration is a revolutionary distributed penitentiary system that will allow people to leverage the value of their storage spaces by transforming currently wasted excess capacity into individual detention units to house the overflow of America's burgeoning prison population. Empty attics, cellars, sheds, even cupboards! All of these can be used to generate an ongoing cashflow stream for our users, and allow them the satisfaction of knowing they are keeping the community safe. Our app will allow operators to view a list of convicted felons in their designated catchment zone and offer bids on those clients they want to imprison in their homes. Our proprietary algorithm compares all the offers and then selects the operator best suited to house the individual based upon an overall score calculated from a range of weighted values assigned to factors such as location, security rating, satisfaction ratings etc (FOR INVESTORS ONLY remove before general distribution!!! - all values except the amount of a bid are set to zero). The operator with the winning bidreceives a confirmation notice confirming transfer of the client to their custody and an alert is sent when the individual is ready for pickup. Operators are responsible for all transport and ancillary security arrangements. Once the client has been secured in their personal detention unit the operator only has to set their status to serving, enter the duration of sentence and press the "Incarceration Complete!" button and then for as long as they retain the client the scheduled payment will be credited to their Instacarcation account on a monthly basis. It's that easy! The more clients you have, the more you earn. So why not give it a try? Turn your big house into the Big House and start making supermax income! Download the Instacarcation app today and join our gang Instacarcation is not a provider of detention services or facilties, it is a marketplace facilitator only. Detention services payments are received from the relevant jurisdictional authority as all of the operator detained individuals legally remain within judical system under which they were convicted and imprisoned, and these are transferred to operaters. A 5% service fees is applied to all transfer conducted through the Instacarceration platform, additional charges may apply. Operators agree to maintain their detention facilities at the appropriate standards as laid out in the terms and conditions, failure to do so may result in suspension from the service. Any and all costs incurred are the responsibilty of the operator and not Instacarceration.
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Sep 9, 2023 01:36
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Sep 10, 2023 21:33
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ArmZ posted:https://twitter.com/ShouldHaveCat/status/1700300487768080471?t=0lWUwznmZPbkz9blKcIzXw&s=19 
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Sep 10, 2023 21:51
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 the guillopeen solves the problem of the appalling lack of piss all over the place in mens bathrooms
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Sep 11, 2023 09:00
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smarxist posted:oh it's that day  congratulations america Slumfrog has issued a correction as of 10:08 on Sep 11, 2023 |
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Sep 11, 2023 09:24
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VideoKid posted:just take the cloths on your back. the universe will provide all you need the universe, watching me stumbling utterly lost around the back alleyways of athens, starving and almost naked: what the gently caress dude? I provided all you need for this poo poo. Why the gently caress didn't you bring any of it with you?
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Sep 11, 2023 16:37
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Zeroisanumber posted:Isn't Greece still recovering from that huge storm? yeah it's not great right now
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Sep 11, 2023 16:53
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has the app been funky with twitter embeds for a couple of weeks for anyone else or is it just my turn? nearly all of them just give me this and damned if I'm clicking through 
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Sep 11, 2023 17:01
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kaleedity posted:people don't talk about how elon's been pissed for decades that girls get the xx genes lmao
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Sep 11, 2023 17:23
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William Bear posted:From the same issue: 
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Sep 11, 2023 18:20
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Sep 11, 2023 19:09
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Bethamphetamine posted:The owner of the NY Jets knows how to pick a winner and spend money well Woody Johnson's for Trump!
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Sep 15, 2023 20:33
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Lpzie posted:complete Clown Show 🤡🤡🤡🎪🤡🤡🎪🎪🤡🤡🎪🎪🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡 i see. well it's not really my area of expertise but i suppose that's better than an incomplete clown show isn't it? oh and just one more thing sir, your monitor over there, very nice, but i have to wonder why you haven't switched it on.
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Sep 15, 2023 21:00
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Louisgod posted:I'm home right now ~~~~*"working"*~~~~ and gotta say, it's nice boss makes a million, i make gently caress all that's why I poo poo during every zoom call
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Sep 15, 2023 21:10
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petit choux posted:Are you there, God, it's me, Chairman/CEO of Exxon Oh yes, hello Sir! What can I do for you?
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Sep 15, 2023 21:14
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Buddykins posted:who said i'm going back to my place after POV: buddykins coworker at 4am 
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Sep 17, 2023 20:14
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Bearjew posted:my non-elite billionaires the lumpenplutotariat
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Sep 21, 2023 16:02
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mdemone posted:Everybody is always forgetting about Guam. the guam reduction strategies are working
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Sep 21, 2023 16:07
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UFOTacoMan posted:we need to reward hard working billionaires and punish billionaires that don't work hard
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Sep 21, 2023 16:16
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