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It's got cop tires, cop breaks, cop shocks, cop engine.
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Sep 29, 2023 00:31
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*fishing my finger out from rear end-crack and taking a long slow sniff from base to tip Just as I suspected.. stinky. 
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Sep 29, 2023 00:40
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You know what, even though us criminals so crime things, do you ever just think wow cops are actually really cool and manly. Like just the best people. You know what I think us bad doing criminal scum people who we are don't give cops the proper credit. Also do you ever think maybe us criminal types are given to many rights by the cuddling libtard goverment? Like right? right????
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Sep 29, 2023 00:46
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*being restrained by her family as paramedics tend to my unconscious bride I thought he said hit!
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Sep 29, 2023 00:59
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Move along, nothing to see here ma'am.
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Sep 29, 2023 01:56
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I'm wearing clothing that is completely fresh and what a child thinks a member of a subculture wears and thinking that I'm fooling everyone
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Sep 29, 2023 05:54
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Having a flashback to a traumatic childhood memory after the 10th guy in prison comes over to ask if I'm the guy that put him in there, and I tell him that it must have been my identical twin brother. You're a disgrace. You're the worst cop in the family! Why can't you be more like ya brother? I want your badge and your gun, and I want you out of my house!
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Sep 29, 2023 05:59
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Cop? Well I'm a Corrupt Owesome Person!
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Sep 29, 2023 08:21
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Boom chocka locka
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Sep 29, 2023 13:26
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Hi kids, I'm Funzo the clown! Let's all wish Johnny a happy birthday! Help me make a special birthday card! Instead of signing your names, you're going to put your fingerprints on it. All ten fingers. I've got the ink right here!
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Sep 29, 2023 13:39
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N. Senada posted:ACAB , right guys? All cops are bad 
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Sep 29, 2023 13:42
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Nope, just a normal Ford Explorer here Ma'am.
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Sep 29, 2023 13:45
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Yeah, my son fell down on the playground, that's why he has the black eye and messed up shoulder. Same thing happened to his mom, it's crazy. Those playgrounds are so dangerous nowadays.
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Sep 29, 2023 14:00
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*Pulls up neck gator.* "Hey guys, this protest is getting out of hand, let's start stealing stuff worth at least the felony minimum." *Smashes window with large Maglight and runs away to pristine matte black Dodge Challenger*
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Sep 29, 2023 14:28
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Does anyone know how to dispose of a body? Asking for a friend
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Sep 29, 2023 14:29
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Hello. I'm NYC mayor eric adams
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Sep 29, 2023 15:23
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Hey you with the "ALL COPS ARE BASTARDS" shirt, that's a funny shirt. could I have your name address and picture?
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Sep 29, 2023 15:41
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PYF crimes and precise times and locations you and any accomplices committed the crimes hehe just for fun 
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Sep 29, 2023 18:26
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drat, I could go for some drugs. Who else likes drugs and drug related activities?
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Sep 29, 2023 21:07
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No, my the badge says not police office, don't you see that large not written there. Hey now I'm getting suspicious that you don't have one of these pal.
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Sep 29, 2023 21:15
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I can't decide which color necktie to wear on my date tonight. I certainly wouldn't want to be mistaken for a criminal gang member on a date. How embarrassing! You wouldn't happen to know what the local criminal gang colors are, would you? It's ok, I won't tell anyone that you're a ganger.
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Sep 29, 2023 23:40
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Hmmm that gives me an idea I think I'm going to wear a nice black button up shirt and this thin blue tie on my date tonight.
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Sep 29, 2023 23:44
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Grooms well manicured mustache at the club
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Sep 29, 2023 23:54
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Will you accept my NYPD challenge coin collection as collateral?
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Sep 29, 2023 23:59
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I’m new to the streets. That’s why I don’t have track marks or meth teeth like the other streetwalkers. Now do you want to party?
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Sep 30, 2023 00:17
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I'm just going to nibble this basil leaf while I run your ID
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Sep 30, 2023 00:47
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Wtf is the yakuza again. gently caress I'm high. Hands behind your back
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Sep 30, 2023 00:49
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Oh no thanks. I haven’t smoked a marijuana cigarette since I took one from the evidence loc…my boss at footlocker.
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Sep 30, 2023 19:52
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If I was a cop I'd like to be a top cop (with immunity and all) but I'm just stuck with all the paperwork...
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Sep 30, 2023 20:19
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I love wearing these cool RGB robes at this concert. Oh my black polished work boots don't really go with it? Huh
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Sep 30, 2023 20:31
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Can't play racquetball this weekend because I sprained my wrist while abusing my family
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Sep 30, 2023 20:38
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yes. afternoon. are you one of those local drug pushers I've heard about from my other delinquent friends? I have reason to believe that you can, uh, (squints at the palm of my hand) "turn me on" to the most "dank" of the, er, "sticky icky"
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Sep 30, 2023 20:55
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Hey man I got some good poo poo. You buyin'? Good poo poo right here broski.
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Sep 30, 2023 20:58
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Buddy, buddy... when I loudly demanded "someone suck my dick or there will be trouble" I was just referring to my reproductive system issues. How could I, a simple factory worker possibly call in a heavily armed SWAT teams to brutally assault all the people who laughed at my genitalia?!
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Sep 30, 2023 21:08
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Alright listen up! I want a car to the air port, and a million dollars in cash or I start blastin' hostages! *over a megaphone: What are you asking us for? We're just a bunch of guys (Hey!) Sorry Kopowski. A bunch of guys and a female out enjoying the afternoon.
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Sep 30, 2023 21:23
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We, a legitimate Hip Hop group from the streets, think cops are cool and good. We even wrote a rap about it. *beatboxes flatulently*
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Sep 30, 2023 22:06
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Hey dudes! Do you know where a chill dude like me can get his hands on some straight dank? I love smoking fat blunts and chillin’. This haircut? Don’t mind that I just like looking fresh bro. Haha seriously though.
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Sep 30, 2023 23:21
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Narc? No way dude, I love drugs.
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Sep 30, 2023 23:31
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Oh man has this been fun times being on the run from Johnny law with you guys after all those illegal and immoral bank robbers we all did. You know where I think we should try hiding out next, instead of crossing the boarder and hiding out in you brothers luxury beach resort, why don't we break into a county sheriff office and hide in one of the jail cells. Every one would think with all our millions of dollars in stolen money would think we would try and flee the country to some tropical paradise, so you see hiding out in a local jail is the last place they'd ever think of looking for us! I can get us in, you see I just happen to find these county sheriff office official jail keys in a second hand shop the other day, so it would be super easy, and they'd never find us there!
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Sep 30, 2023 23:34
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| # ? Apr 28, 2024 04:20 |
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Its cool that I pulled you over. Now, if you have no problem with it let me search your backpack and trunk. No worries, I am always in your best interest
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Sep 30, 2023 23:39
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