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ymgve posted:There are alternatives. I gave up during my first glass of that gallon of garbage, and went for another that was two small glasses total (but lots of pure water afterwards) Called picoprep here, not sure the generic name Yeah I read about options online. But the program here only allows colyte or peglyte. Which are nearly identical except for flavour so I bought the peglyte because it was a dollar cheaper. Apparently it is "fruit" flavour. It smells like off-brand Koolaid and tastes like death. To all the goons under 50: 
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Sep 29, 2023 03:09
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Have you tried mixing it with tonic?
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Sep 29, 2023 03:11
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Facebook Aunt posted:Shidding and farting is every goons birthright. Tonight the throne is rightfully yours. Rule over this land with equal parts humility and flatulence. My guts are kinda hosed up so I got my first one at 30, luckily nothing majorly wrong. I still remember watching the EKG graph get wobbly when the drugs kicked in. Afterwards I smoked some weed and bought an expensive sandwich.
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Sep 29, 2023 03:13
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weg posted:Lmao at thinking the flavor is the bad part. Sleep is no worry. I have to take the other half gallon of vile liquid at 3 am for a 7 am appointment. I don't think I'm sleeping tonight at all. On the upside I ate very sparingly yesterday and nothing this morning (I was allowed to eat until 10 am today but recognised that as a trap). So I've already breezed past solids to the "tea coloured liquid" phase.
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Sep 29, 2023 03:15
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Facebook Aunt posted:Sleep is no worry. I have to take the other half gallon of vile liquid at 3 am for a 7 am appointment. I don't think I'm sleeping tonight at all. We're going on an adventure!
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Sep 29, 2023 03:20
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weg posted:
i mean yeah, to be fair, propofal leaves you feeling reeeeal nice. you wake up feeling like a million bucks.
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Sep 29, 2023 04:21
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deepfake deepgoatse
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Sep 29, 2023 04:23
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would it be better if we had evolved to love the taste of stuff that makes you poo poo everything? I think not
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Sep 29, 2023 05:02
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Glottis posted:would it be better if we had evolved to love the taste of stuff that makes you poo poo everything? I think not pretty much everything we evolved to eat makes us poo poo
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Sep 29, 2023 05:03
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Bad Purchase posted:pretty much everything we evolved to eat makes us poo poo yes, but not poo poo everything
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Sep 29, 2023 05:04
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Coffee makes me shart
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Sep 29, 2023 05:04
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Last time I had to do this I decided to man up and chug that fluid to get it over with. I drained it in about a minute. I have never puked so intensely in my life. It was a couple of hours of extreme barfing and making GBS threads, laying on the floor of the bathroom in between sessions in pain from violent retching. This is a true story. Heed my warning. DO NOT CHUG THE PREP
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Sep 29, 2023 05:57
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Edmund Sparkler posted:It's the one flavor of Gatorade I really like. Brain Curry posted:In a thread about poison and uncontrolled making GBS threads the most disturbing posts are the limon pepino slander grats on yall's broken rear end tastebuds then  Facebook Aunt posted:Not very often, because if something tastes bitter I stop drinking it. I don't even drink coffee or beer because they are too bitter. Same. I can't stand beer or weird bitter flavors either, and I'm real texture-sensitive thanks to autism so I can't eat anything with seeds or gritty mouthfeel cuz my brain thinks it's like cat litter or something. A lot of times if I try to eat that kinda stuff my throat will close up and I'll start retching/dry-heaving, and if I'm lucky that'll open my throat enough to swallow it.  Picky Eater Crew
I. M. Gei fucked around with this message at 06:38 on Sep 29, 2023 |
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Sep 29, 2023 06:03
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The Management posted:Last time I had to do this I decided to man up and chug that fluid to get it over with. I drained it in about a minute. Lmfao
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Sep 29, 2023 06:08
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The Management posted:Last time I had to do this I decided to man up and chug that fluid to get it over with. I drained it in about a minute. You chugged a full gallon in one go? Good thing you puked, or you would have ended up like that dude in the first X-men movie
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Sep 29, 2023 06:25
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Funky See Funky Do posted:It is poison. The government puts it in there as part of a secret eugenics programme to weed out all the people that would put it in their mouth. Just like why they make schools teach Ayn Rand.  Three Olives posted:The best part of Cologuard is even in the ads they have to say it doesn't work very well and if use it insurance won't cover a colonoscopy. Yeah, apparently there isn't a whole lot of clinical evidence that Cologuard works at all, let alone how good it is at detecting anything if it does work. One of the medical centers in my area puts out local ads about various health topics, and one of them was about colonoscopies and colorectal screening and they pretty much straight-up said "Cologuard doesn't work for poo poo; get a real colonoscopy by an actual doctor". My mom used Cologuard once and that... probably wasn't a very good idea, since cancer runs in her family and her grandmother (my great-grandma) actually died from colon cancer, and even the commercials tell you CG isn't for people at high risk for cancer. I. M. Gei fucked around with this message at 06:34 on Sep 29, 2023 |
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Sep 29, 2023 06:30
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ymgve posted:You chugged a full gallon in one go? Good thing you puked, or you would have ended up like that dude in the first X-men movie It was not a gallon. More like 12 ounces.
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Sep 29, 2023 06:53
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Everyone gets so embarrassed when they poo poo their pants, but honestly nobody will judge you for that, if anything they'd give you sympathy. That can really happen to anyone.
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Sep 29, 2023 07:07
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Caesar Saladin posted:Everyone gets so embarrassed when they poo poo their pants, but honestly nobody will judge you for that, if anything they'd give you sympathy. That can really happen to anyone. do you know that from first hand experience? this is uncharted territory for me and i'd like to prepare for middle age
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Sep 29, 2023 07:22
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I mean I haven't poo poo my pants as an adult but I'm prepared for it to happen eventually. I've just never felt anything but sympathy for someone who shat their pants, I don't judge them because I think its a part of the human experience
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Sep 29, 2023 08:04
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Good news everyone, I got a few hours sleep. Woke up to an absolute orchestra of stomach growling and gut gurgling. Lotta air in the pipes. Now I have to drink the rest rest of the jug of poison. Looking at it now, I definitely drank less than half last time. Curse you, past me!  I. M. Gei posted:Yeah, apparently there isn't a whole lot of clinical evidence that Cologuard works at all, let alone how good it is at detecting anything if it does work. One of the medical centers in my area puts out local ads about various health topics, and one of them was about colonoscopies and colorectal screening and they pretty much straight-up said "Cologuard doesn't work for poo poo; get a real colonoscopy by an actual doctor". It's probably similarly effective as the FIT/FOBT test, just more expensive and with extra steps. FIT/FOBT detects if you have occult blood in your poop. It's the first stage of screening for most people here. You give them a tiny poop sample and they look for blood. If they find it you get to have the scope. I've never heard of cologuard, but it looks like it is supposed to detect blood and abnormal DNA -- even if the DNA bit is nonsense it can still detect blood. I was pretty stoked when I read the test result that I had occult blood detected. So spooky. Am I going to spontaneously develop magic powers and become a sorcerer because of my occult blood? Is that why they are trying to get me to drink all this poison???
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Sep 29, 2023 11:04
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Tip: Mix the prep a few hours ahead so it has time to chill. This second half is much colder than the first, and only about 80% as vile.
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Sep 29, 2023 11:38
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How come we can put men on the moon but we havent found a better way to check our colon other than lets just jam a camera in there and see whats up
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Sep 29, 2023 15:26
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lalaland posted:How come we can put men on the moon but we havent found a better way to check our colon other than lets just jam a camera in there and see whats up Well, you can do a CT colonography which is a good option in some cases, but obviously not as fun!
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Sep 29, 2023 15:35
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lalaland posted:How come we can put men on the moon but we havent found a better way to check our colon other than lets just jam a camera in there and see whats up dude's rock
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Sep 29, 2023 15:35
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actually astronauts had to drink tang on the moon so they had it just as bad
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Sep 29, 2023 15:46
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I'm getting a colonoscopy soon but I opted for the pills rather than the death liquid
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Sep 29, 2023 15:46
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Analoscopy
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Sep 29, 2023 15:53
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My prep was just two dulcolax tabs and a bottle of Miralax stirred into lemon lime Gatorade. It wasn’t too bad and I was able to drink it in portions. Should have tried that OP!
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Sep 29, 2023 15:55
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BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:My prep was just two dulcolax tabs and a bottle of Miralax stirred into lemon lime Gatorade. It wasn’t too bad and I was able to drink it in portions. Should have tried that OP! I think your "doctor" was just a guy who likes butt stuff a bit too much
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Sep 29, 2023 16:44
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Yeah it's nasty. Gotta drink it cold - and use a straw to bypass as much of your tongue as possible. My most recent colonoscopy I did the other kind where you drink only two glasses instead of the giant jug, but the taste was even worse so I'm not sure it was a better situation.
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Sep 29, 2023 17:19
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Is your doctor a 60+ white man op? If so then he's stuck in every medical practice from the 1970s. Get a doctor under 40 and maybe you wouldn't have needed to drink a gallon of poison lol
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Sep 29, 2023 17:59
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Where are the rear end nanobots that just crawl through your dirty bowel and take little Polaroids? This camera on a stick technology is pretty lol
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Sep 29, 2023 19:06
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maybealabia posted:I think your "doctor" was just a guy who likes butt stuff a bit too much I think a weekly prostate exam is just fine. You can’t be too careful.
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Sep 29, 2023 19:12
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Imagine if it tasted great. Then what. I’ll tell you what - poo poo. poo poo just everywhere all the goddamn time. Is that what you want?
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Sep 29, 2023 20:25
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Like others have said, chill the prep and drink it with a straw. That makes it a little more palatable. I can also say with confidence that colonoscopy prep is far from the worst the hospital can make you drink. Be glad they're not making a CT scan of your guts, because contrast fluid tastes like burning electronics.
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Sep 29, 2023 20:27
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Mine didn't even really taste that bad, like salty lemonade maybe? Also no chance of mistakes, you drink the recommended amount and about 30 seconds later it comes out your rear end under high pressure. I also got a pat on the back for having an exceptionally clean colon. Also, the camera up the rear end sometimes has a little cauterization loop on it, so they can whip out any minor polyps as they go, which is pretty efficient. A+ drug experience too, with a mix of midazolam and fentanyl they were playing Natalie Imbruglia in the theatre and I got to sing along and look at the inside of my own rear end at the same time.
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Sep 29, 2023 20:29
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Torquemada posted:Mine didn't even really taste that bad, like salty lemonade maybe? Also no chance of mistakes, you drink the recommended amount and about 30 seconds later it comes out your rear end under high pressure. I also got a pat on the back for having an exceptionally clean colon. Also, the camera up the rear end sometimes has a little cauterization loop on it, so they can whip out any minor polyps as they go, which is pretty efficient. lol this guy cleanses. I had a super easy time of it too. Learned a lot as well for the next MMA weigh in.
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Sep 29, 2023 20:55
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Torquemada posted:Mine didn't even really taste that bad, like salty lemonade maybe? Also no chance of mistakes, you drink the recommended amount and about 30 seconds later it comes out your rear end under high pressure. I also got a pat on the back for having an exceptionally clean colon. Also, the camera up the rear end sometimes has a little cauterization loop on it, so they can whip out any minor polyps as they go, which is pretty efficient. lol were they playing torn while you got your rear end in a top hat torn?
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Sep 29, 2023 21:19
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VV1XWJN3nJo
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Sep 29, 2023 21:21
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