|
All them fancy Yale educated cultists and mages source their necropants from 3rd world hellholes that work children for 18 hour shifts, but we DIY honest occultists know how to make do with a shovel and grit!
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2023 09:34
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 10, 2024 12:48 |
|
|
teen witch posted:Realtalk working class occultist is a solid username Rent and utilities are due on Friday. Remember, Gary loves you.
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2023 10:08
|
|
|
Thanks for the encouragement! I've got more slut blood scheduled for "delivery" tomorrow night.
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2023 12:12
|
|
|
Now Terrence when you say you have 'slut blood' are you referring to menstrual discharge again, because that's not what this means. We informed you last time that only freely donated blood from self identified 'sluts' would work.
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2023 12:21
|
|
|
least we can be sure that goon isn't using their own
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2023 12:37
|
|
|
My signature has made me a target. I assure my blood tastes terrible.
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2023 13:52
|
|
Vertical stats GBS verified 6/30/2023 185.4cm
|
By popular demand posted:All them fancy Yale educated cultists and mages source their necropants from 3rd world hellholes that work children for 18 hour shifts, but we DIY honest occultists know how to make do with a shovel and grit! Real talk, I went to a university hospital to see an bone Dr. who didn’t like being called Dr bone, and there was this real human skeleton in the room with me. (I broke my rear end at work and have a lot of time for occultism rn) So during the 20 minutes they made me sit in there alone, I start looking at this maybe 4’6 skeleton and I notice that half of its ribs were broken off by hand. So when Dr Bone comes in I start asking him who that was, why there’s a corpse in the room with me, what he thinks of the fact that patients who are left in the room with the little person have been doing to it, how he’d feel if someone did that to one of his ancestors, if he thinks that skeleton was too old to be Falun Gong and if so, did it belong to some child that was abused to death in a Canadian orphanage (Canada isn’t too far away). Needless to say Dr Bone corrected me immediately and said he was just a Physician’s Assistant, then acted like a jerk for the rest of the visit. Oh yeah, I pointed out my giant balls in the x ray when he said they don’t show soft tissue really well. ----------------
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2023 15:45
|
|
|
I think I might like the name working class occultist. The Skeleton didn’t say anything, I asked. Just stood there and looked humiliated that it was a stand for redneck souvenirs. ----------------
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2023 15:49
|
|
|
Don't look up the internet witch who tried to sell bones to fellow wiccans, turns out there are unsecured graveyards and they belong to poor black people.
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2023 16:01
|
|
|
Totally did. "Hear me, bone wytch, and know that you are forever cursed. So say I, the fae of femurs." https://www.vice.com/en/article/vb4m4a/boneghazi-how-a-grave-robbing-controversy-tore-an-online-witch-community-apart This is actually a really good read. Seems that lady was more stupid than cruel, which could be said about people who walk up to an instructional skeleton and break off one of its ribs. I might have just been upset that I was sitting there with an assistant again instead of a real doctor, who could tell me nothing and hadn't been very helpful. Honestly, the skeleton was better at answering questions just by standing there and being exposed. PA Bone couldn't state that I had been brutally injured at work to the family court where my divorce is taking place, nor could he tell me anything about decisions as to when they put my broke rear end back to work. Waste of everyone's time and money. ----------------
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2023 17:14
|
|
|
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2D6C2IC1U0
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2023 17:36
|
|
|
Decedent posted:"Hear me, bone wytch, and know that you are forever cursed. So say I, the fae of femurs." The elf of ethmoids. The leprechaun of the lamina dura. The pixie of the pisiform. Ps: Do. Not. Shame. Me. For. My. Work.
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2023 18:12
|
|
|
I once saw a personal ad on okc of two women looking for a man. they were in expensive looking vintage cut black dresses and holding hands. freaky poo poo in the background, like not quite shrunken head collection but not totally out of the ballpark. some bones. what they were looking for was transparently not a genuine romantic, sexual, or financial interest. i wonder how many guys they have exsanguinated for belial or whatever
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2023 18:22
|
|
|
AVATAR!! Know that Florida has entered into a new age of JEB! Jeb Bush worships this guy:  in 2003, Jeb Bush signed off on the Florida Department of Corrections using the Guardian's Virtues as their code of ethics. that sounds milquetoast if you don't know that the Guardian is an extradimensional tyrant from the Ultima video game series who looks like this:  the Guardian is an incomprehensible, world-devouring alien god.  So, at each gateway to society there must be powerful guardians, placed to keep the unworthy from entering. They present a menacing face. They ensure a man or woman is worthy of passing. How appropriate a symbol for the work of correctional officers and probation officers and employees. As General Creighton W. Adams said, "While we are guarding the country, we must accept being the guardian of the finest ethics. The country needs it and we must do it." Correctional employees do their work every day, sometimes under dangerous conditions. "We do it, not for the money, which is always in pretty short supply, but because we are committed to serving the public," the Secretary added.  Virtues for the Guardians of the Threshold These virtues were excerpted and adapted from "The Virtues of the Guardian of Killgorn Keep" created by John Hosie Vigilance - The constant State of mind to watch out for foreign and domestic foes. Symbol is the open eye. Punctuality - Commitment to being prepared at a moment's notice to carry out orders. Symbol is the clock. Obedience - Acceptance of orders. Symbol is the closed fist. Efficiency - The prevention of waste. Symbol is the Abacus. Silence - Essential for stability and safety. Symbol is closed mouth. Diligence - The ability to seek out a goal and continue toward it. Symbol is the sword. Conformity - The outward sign of uniformity, that one man is like his brother in actions and beliefs. All are equal. The symbol is the Guardian's mask.
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2023 18:32
|
|
|
not really sure why people are scared of goats yeah maybe they will headbutt you but otherwise they are pretty well-behaved farm animals and they taste good
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2023 18:57
|
|
|
Some half remembered TV show I've seen decades ago suggested that Christianity got that since they fought to convert people from animistic religions, many of which worshipped horned gods or spirits. I can assure you they didn't get that from Judaism, a goat is just a livestock animal.
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2023 19:04
|
|
|
Idk I’m scared af of black Phillip. Didn’t that dude maul someone on set? Also maybe the funny pupils too, you know, like snakes?
----------------
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2023 19:33
|
|
|
goats just too horny
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2023 19:58
|
|
|
Animal-Mother posted:not really sure why people are scared of goats I love goats, I pet one the other week. Also goat cheese and milk is pretty aight. I dont care what the haters say. Eat this cheese, for it is my body. Drink this milk for it is my blood. Hail Satan
Grey Cat fucked around with this message at 20:24 on Oct 12, 2023 |
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2023 20:22
|
|
|
these instructions said to bathe in blood, but i just found an older translation online that said to baste in blood and i didn't think to bring an evil ladle!! dark lord skullbert fuckin forgive me dogg *i burst into flames*
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2023 20:39
|
|
|
Nubian Sasquatch posted:these instructions said to bathe in blood, but i just found an older translation online that said to baste in blood and i didn't think to bring an evil ladle!! An evil turkey baster works in a pinch.
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2023 20:45
|
|
|
Isn't that the translation where someone accidentally, and very erroneously, translated part of the cooking section of the original necronomicon? iirc it really says "baste in broth" but the translator got everything wrong.
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2023 20:55
|
|
|
well this is all great info for my next turn of the cursed wheel, post-reincarnation. thank you goons
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2023 21:00
|
|
|
Nubian Sasquatch posted:well this is all great info for my next turn of the cursed wheel, post-reincarnation. thank you goons Is it a wheel like wheel of fortune or a price is right wheel
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2023 22:24
|
|
|
By popular demand posted:Some half remembered TV show I've seen decades ago suggested that Christianity got that since they fought to convert people from animistic religions, many of which worshipped horned gods or spirits. The greek goatman Pan was a fey forest pan-flautist, emissary of the Greek God of Parties and Drama Dionysus, and with horns on his human head and the lower half of a goat Pan was often depicted to get as horny as a rutting animal Romans took over ancient greece and adopted their religion as the roman one (just swapped in some new names, no biggie). Then they kept spreading and took over ancient Israel, Egpyt, and so on like empires are liable to do Then Jesus hit big and Christianity took root in and spread through what was to become the Holy Roman Empire, but the problem always was conversion. This is in fact where the first fair-skinned, blonde-and-blue-eyed depiction of Jesus began, where the Greek temples to sungod Apollo were given a once-over paintjob to the new Sky-Father-Godling in town, Jesus This, this was once a mosaic of Apollo, and they added a book:  This is also where the Halo of Light came from, in future Christian art. Old lighting FX gleaned from artwork of Apollo. So if we're looking for a scapegoat figure, obviously Pan is the devil from the already-established religion, if he's the one tempting people with his flute for some partying and fuckin' in the woods. Stands to reason! Also all theater, music and dancing is banned, etc, for the foreseeable future, you sinners! Thankssssss~! 
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2023 23:37
|
|
|
teen witch posted:Is it a wheel like wheel of fortune or a price is right wheel no, no, its just a metaphor. its a metaphorical wheel that you metaphorically spin and sometimes you are metaphorically rewarded with money but sometimes the wheel says you are metaphorically bankrupt, and also metaphorically Pat Sajak is there
|
|
#
?
Oct 13, 2023 12:33
|
|
|
Nubian Sasquatch posted:no, no, its just a metaphor. its a metaphorical wheel that you metaphorically spin and sometimes you are metaphorically rewarded with money but sometimes the wheel says you are metaphorically bankrupt, and also metaphorically Pat Sajak is there Where is Vanna, this is important What do we do to summon Vanna, how many screens do I need to touch
|
|
#
?
Oct 13, 2023 12:36
|
|
|
 Have a totally normal Friday, friends!
|
|
#
?
Oct 13, 2023 13:30
|
|
|
teen witch posted:Where is Vanna, this is important Sorry to substitute, but  you have summoned Vanta black instead,she is the color of abyss and has seen the hidden letters behind every panel in existence
|
|
#
?
Oct 13, 2023 13:35
|
|
|
I just woke up and prayed to the dark ones. My morning is starting off strong.
|
|
#
?
Oct 13, 2023 13:35
|
|
|
op i hope this powerful day brings you all the skeletons you could ever want, up to the maximum safe skeleton storage rating for your cult bunkerLux Anima posted:Sorry to substitute, but  ... can i marry vanta black
|
|
#
?
Oct 13, 2023 14:09
|
|
|
I was supposed to bleed out this goat for Friday's ritual but he's been super-friendly and does adorable little jumps off the altar so I guess we own a goat named Biff now oh and he ate all the tallow candles sorry
|
|
#
?
Oct 13, 2023 16:53
|
|
|
Biff sounds cool, he can stay.
|
|
#
?
Oct 13, 2023 18:57
|
|
|
It's good to have all these crystals charged, cuz Lucky Prime Friday 13 is for L O V E R S  AD INSERT: Goth Witches in your area are looking for single virgins! XOXO
|
|
#
?
Oct 13, 2023 22:31
|
|
|
Lux Anima posted:It's good to have all these crystals charged, cuz I'm in. Where's the petition I sign?
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2023 20:23
|
|
|
Goats are ｇｏａｔ
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2023 23:40
|
|
|
Grey Cat posted:I'm in. Where's the petition I sign? Imagine Saturn and its rings as a 0 and two 7s that are doubled and flipped around the O as if seeing the ringed planet from above. Something like this: LO7 Now: spin that sigil in your mind's eye to this sound: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBCGPBR_rHs (u did it! Hooray!      u are nice!)
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2023 23:43
|
|
|
peanut posted:Goats are ｇｏａｔ I can't crack this Baba is you level.
|
|
#
?
Oct 15, 2023 07:34
|
|
|
Now onto step 2: FIRING YOUR JUPITER KAMEHAMEHA: (enclosed video contains audiovisual reference, p. self-explanatory if u ask me) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1mHaMooSsg also dancing a lil never hurts
|
|
#
?
Oct 15, 2023 12:33
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 10, 2024 12:48 |
|
|
The 1863 edition of Jacques Collin de Plancy's Dictionnaire Infernal has illustrations by Louis Le Breton for 69 demons. Let's look at some of the best. Abraxas  Bael  Belphegor  Caym - the bird she told you not to worry about  Forcas - Starscourge Radahn, the early years  Lucifer - saucy bitch  Malphas - we've got Caym at home  Puck  Stolas  
|
|
#
?
Oct 15, 2023 17:17
|
|
