|
I'll go first no wait this wasn't supposed to be it YOUR monitor is off MUCH LIKE YOUR POSTING _________________💀💀💀____________________ I miss MY WIFE, but my aim is getting better! "Not bad", she quipped while teleporting behind me, hand on katana hilt and a slit slowly forming across my chest _________________💀💀💀____________________ "Still afraid of clowns?!", asked Poundfoolish the Clown "Not anymore" I said as my concealed snapping turtle bit off his tip _________________💀💀💀____________________ I like to hide razor blades in candy for trick or treaters To my horror I heard the words "more please", and standing in the open doorway was a child who glued them between their fingers like when you do the brass knuckles thing with your keys only sharper; for they were dressed like a Thai kickboxer!!! _________________💀💀💀____________________ "I'm sorry Jon...." exclaimed Garfield. But Jon was nowhere to be found because Garfield was dead. _________________💀💀💀____________________ And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife And you may ask yourself, "Well, how did I get here?" _________________💀💀💀____________________  
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2023 11:25
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 10, 2024 14:14 |
|
|
inspiration if you need https://twitter.com/bad2sentence?s=21 https://www.reddit.com/r/2sentence2horror/ https://twitter.com/bad2sentence/status/1473745162790584320?lang=en     https://x.com/bad2sentence/status/1643663622948925445?s=20 Alan Smithee fucked around with this message at 15:16 on Oct 13, 2023 |
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2023 11:30
|
|
|
I went to sleep. And then I woke up again.
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2023 13:39
|
|
|
this one kicks rear end *~*~*~*~*~*~
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2023 13:52
|
|
|
"This won't hurt a bit", said my dentist. He was wrong. ______________💀💀💀_________________ Famous last words: "Don't worry he only has one stone."
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2023 16:58
|
|
|
"I've got my eyes on you." They felt like wet peeled grapes against my skin.
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2023 17:12
|
|
|
Frank joined a club for people who'd survived near death experiences. Everyone was actually ghosts and just didn't know it yet.
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2023 21:38
|
|
|
"Thank goodness I have this night-light, I'm afraid of the dark." "Me too," said the creature in my closet, which I really should have been able to see sooner given that I had a very bright night-light in my bedroom.
|
|
#
?
Oct 13, 2023 02:30
|
|
|
I went to a goon meetup event. The one woman there left early.
|
|
#
?
Oct 13, 2023 05:50
|
|
|
super sweet best pal posted:Frank joined a club for people who'd survived near death experiences.  Murray Mantoinette posted:"Thank goodness I have this night-light, I'm afraid of the dark." At least they found each other
|
|
#
?
Oct 13, 2023 05:55
|
|
|
The hero brought peace to the world. By becoming the lich king and subjugating the living. 乁[ ◕ ᴥ ◕ ]ㄏ
|
|
#
?
Oct 13, 2023 06:01
|
|
|
There was something crawling underneath my skin. The fresh human one I left on the bed 😱 _________________💀💀💀____________________ The frat boys were shoving fireworks up the nerd's bum. It was the quickest way to get rid of the parasite 😱 _________________💀💀💀____________________ My arm was crushed, pinched underneath the giant insectoid's mandible. It buzzed, "You forgot to wear green on St. Patrick's day" 😱
|
|
#
?
Oct 13, 2023 09:30
|
|
|
I heard a skeleton laughing AND IT WAS INSIDE ME!! She's got Betty Davis eyes IN A ZIPLOC BAG!!!!!!!
|
|
#
?
Oct 13, 2023 10:39
|
|
|
Wee posted:
you get slapped twice you get slapped again
|
|
#
?
Oct 13, 2023 10:43
|
|
|
Snooze Cruise posted:There was something crawling underneath my skin. someone used my skullbreaks  Dumb Sex-Parrot posted:"This won't hurt a bit", said my dentist. ah yeah you too
|
|
#
?
Oct 13, 2023 14:10
|
|
|
Donald Trump. Two term president.
|
|
#
?
Oct 13, 2023 15:27
|
|
|
I scream It screams
|
|
#
?
Oct 13, 2023 21:29
|
|
|
I did a big poo poo while sitting on the toilet. ______________💀💀💀_________________ But I forgot to take off my trousers.
|
|
#
?
Oct 13, 2023 22:30
|
|
|
for fucks sake posted:I did a big poo poo while sitting on the toilet. 
|
|
#
?
Oct 13, 2023 23:30
|
|
|
I like a thing I go on the internet
|
|
#
?
Oct 13, 2023 23:46
|
|
|
Doctor I have a problem with my b*ttom, can a nurse help me? Nurse was a man.... with a hook!
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2023 01:16
|
|
|
the president tweeted. now we're deleted.
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2023 02:22
|
|
|
I breathed a sigh of relief as I shoved the Year MMI serial killer off the roof of the building. "At least nothing else can go wrong this September 11th," I say to myself as I enjoy the view from the top of the World Trade Center...
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2023 04:50
|
|
|
I had a nightmare that a skeleton was drinking my bones BUT IT WAS A VAMPIRE DRINKING MY BONES
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2023 05:17
|
|
|
I was pooing at night when I felt something touch my butt and suddenly I heard it. "KILL YOU'RE FAMIL-"
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2023 05:45
|
|
|
It lives. It dies.
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2023 05:52
|
|
|
Glad I am dead I said to myself as I was buried in a coffin at my funeral BUT I WAS STILL ALIVE
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2023 06:29
|
|
|
"I'll let you live" he said, holding the machete, "if you can tell this story in two sentences." He slashed the blade across my throat, blood splurted across the room, he leaned in and whispered "run on sentences don't count."
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2023 06:38
|
|
|
Huh Is that how its going to be, well prepare to fight, I say as I wipe blood off my lip But It WAS ME PUNCHING MYSELF IN THE FACE
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2023 07:01
|
|
|
"For the love of God, Montresor!" cried Fortunato "Yes, for the love of God", I replied, shortly before lighting him ablaze in my Cask of Amontillado (his body will add a nice smokey barrel aged flavor to the wine) _________________💀💀💀____________________ To hide ourselves from the monster, we barricaded the door by moving heavy object after heavy object, before I realized I started alone "We'll don't stop now!", the monster said while handing me stuff, "whatever's behind that door is clearly scarier than me!"
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2023 11:30
|
|
|
Finally, I am safe from zombie Borat "My Wife!" 😱
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2023 11:37
|
|
|
"drat, Lisa, that was our best sex yet!" "Who the gently caress is Lisa?"
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2023 13:39
|
|
|
george santos carrying a baby it's not his....yet
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2023 13:40
|
|
|
He stole my heart. But that’s ok, I have more in the freezer.
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2023 13:52
|
|
|
i was shivering with anticip
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2023 18:19
|
|
|
Everyone enjoyed my birthday cake. They didn't know the knife I used was the poop knife. ______________💀💀💀_________________ I opened the front door. I saw a spooky skull. ______________💀💀💀_________________ Where's my baby? Where is my baby!? ______________💀💀💀_________________ He was really cute, and we had a great first date, but there's this one thing. He says he posts on a very exclusive internet forum.
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2023 19:58
|
|
|
What are you idiots talking about? Oh God How did this happen! ----------------
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2023 22:11
|
|
|
"I'm cumming!" She wasn't.
|
|
#
?
Oct 15, 2023 00:45
|
|
|
I was at nice birthday party having a good time with my friends. ______________💀💀💀_________________ All of my friends were actually killer clowns in disguise and they ate me. I was having a nice day in the park with my dog ______________💀💀💀_________________ My dog was actually a killer clown in disguise and they ate me. I sat down to have a nice breakfast in the morning and my parents asked me if I knew what was for breakfast? ______________💀💀💀_________________ I said I didn't know, and they said, "you are!!!" and it turned out my parents were killer clowns in disguise and they ate me I was having a nice day at the beach ______________💀💀💀_________________ Tehn some bullies showed up and I was actually a killer clown in disguise and I ate them. dr_rat fucked around with this message at 00:54 on Oct 15, 2023 |
|
#
?
Oct 15, 2023 00:50
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 10, 2024 14:14 |
|
|
My peanus horts. Wait, that's not my peanus!
|
|
#
?
Oct 15, 2023 00:55
|
|