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dr_rat
Jun 4, 2001
I looked in the mirror and it wasn't my own face looking back at me!!!
______________💀💀💀_________________
Because the mirror now had a face, and was a killer clown in disguise and it ate me

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killer crane
Dec 30, 2006

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2019

Staring down at the pool of blood he asked, "why does it smell like a ton of poo poo in here?"

I gaped at him in horror realizing that he who smelt it dealt it.

______________💀💀💀_________________

You finally realized your dream of being internationally famous.

It's because someone posted a tiktok of you having diarrhea in your pants in line at Wendy's.

SidneyIsTheKiller
Jul 16, 2019

I did fall asleep reading a particularly erotic chapter
in my grandmother's journal.

She wrote very detailed descriptions of her experiences...
She was bringing him to an earth-shattering orgasm. At the precise moment of his climax, she tells him, "By the way, I'm your sister."

dr_rat
Jun 4, 2001
I went to the doctor, and the doctor and did some test, and he looked at the test and said, your died, do you now how I know?
______________💀💀💀_________________
BECAUSE I KILLED AND ATE YOU LAST YEAR HE CLOWNISHLY LAUGHED WHILE TAKING OFF HIS MASK!!!!!!

Fellatio del Toro
Mar 21, 2009

the doctors at the insane asylum said that if I stopped taking my mental health pills now i might never be cured again

thankfully it was all a dream, and i awoke the next day at home, in the twisted hell carnival, and i grabbed my clown mask and axe

Wee
Dec 16, 2022

by Fluffdaddy
Yum this spaghetti is excellent, what is the recipe?

And then I looked down AND I WAS EATING MY OWN INTESTINES!!

dr_rat
Jun 4, 2001
They were trying to write a two sentence horror.
______________💀💀💀_________________
They then wrote one.
______________💀💀💀_________________
AND IT WAS THIS ONE THEY WROTE AND OH GOD IT'S ACTUALLY THREE SENTENCES, THE HORROR, THE HORRROR!!!!

w4ddl3d33
Sep 30, 2022

BIKE HARDER, YOUNG BLOOD
the barbeque was an unusual one, with far more steak than usual. for some reason my dad wasn't around to man the grill, either.......

Cobra Commander
Jan 18, 2011



I told everyone I moved on and put it all behind me when my wife left me mysteriously.

Truly, she quite literally put herself behind me when she fused herself like a demon on my back.



-


My final thought as I drifted towards death as I lay in my bath of sorrow.

I forgot to feed my dog, “gently caress, I’m so sorry.”



-


I didn’t think there was much to live for in all my years.

However, this has all changed, now that I’ve found anime.


-


“Well, might as well kill her to keep my secret from getting out.”

My crush found out I like Insane Clown Posse.



-


In my younger years it felt readily apparent, like something innate, or even like instinctual.

As a blind man I can no longer see why kids love cinnamon toast cru- what was that sound?

ChickenHeart
Nov 28, 2007

Take me at your own risk.

Kiss From a Hog
"What a wonderful day to ride my horse," I exclaimed to no-one in particular.

"I concur," replied the ant crossing my path.

dr_rat
Jun 4, 2001
They stared up at the lovely full moon.
______________💀💀💀_________________
Than they realized it was daytime!!!!!


(edit: no shut up everyone. the moon can't come up during the day time idoits!!!)

You Are A Werewolf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!

“I could really go for a burger right now,” I exclaimed to myself.

Turns out I’ve been dead for fifty years and am a ghost and can’t eat burgers :(

Pretzel Rod Serling
Aug 6, 2008



some of you need to PLEASE be funnier or I will have to start handing out 6ers.

*~*~*~*~*~*~
IF YOU'RE READING THIS THE BXTCH FELL OF

Wee
Dec 16, 2022

by Fluffdaddy
Oh no, all the toilets were turned into giant toilet spiders by an insane wizard!

"Come take a dump in my spidery mouth, I wont bite" the spider toilet says to me.

Pretzel Rod Serling posted:

some of you need to PLEASE be funnier or I will have to start handing out 6ers.

youre welcome

Smik
Mar 18, 2014

some of you need to PLEASE be funnier or I will have to start handing out 6ers.
(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

I guess I'm officially a Visual Novel author now:
https://smik.itch.io/a-house-in-hellworld

Pennywise the Frown
May 10, 2010

Upset Trowel

Pretzel Rod Serling posted:

some of you need to PLEASE be funnier or I will have to start handing out 6ers.

but when I went to probe the poster..... the mod buttons were gone!

:ghost:

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva
From the depths your name echoes. "No, Richard, you are the demons."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdaM5Mv-TTo

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva

Wee posted:

Yum this spaghetti is excellent, what is the recipe?

And then I looked down AND I WAS EATING OUT YOUR MOM!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdaM5Mv-TTo

Medullah
Aug 14, 2003

FEAR MY SHARK ROCKET IT REALLY SUCKS AND BLOWS
In the darkest, deepest caverns I felt a rumbling and feared the creature would escape

______________💀💀💀_________________

Luckily, the Taco Bell only inspired a fart, and the beast remained inside.

aniviron
Sep 11, 2014

For sale: clown shoes.

Worn by OP.

Smik
Mar 18, 2014

I dismissed it as just another AI-generated image.
Except it was a real photo.

I guess I'm officially a Visual Novel author now:
https://smik.itch.io/a-house-in-hellworld

MyChemicalImbalance
Sep 15, 2007

Keep on smilin'



:unsmith:
"Plop!' goes the turd, into the water. "Whirrrrl" goes the toilet roll, empty on the holder.

Neito
Feb 18, 2009

😌Finally, an avatar the describes my love of tech❤️‍💻, my love of anime💖🎎, and why I'll never see a real girl 🙆‍♀️naked😭.

I lost my axe murdering my wife in the woods. Now she's returning it.

dr_rat
Jun 4, 2001
i thought i was being haunted by a friendly ghost!

______________💀💀💀_________________

so anyway turns out some random weird pale dude has just been following me around my house the last two month.

Medullah
Aug 14, 2003

FEAR MY SHARK ROCKET IT REALLY SUCKS AND BLOWS
I screamed with terror when I saw my own name on a tombstone at the cemetery

______________💀💀💀_________________

Then I remembered we were there visiting my father who had the same name as me

DicktheCat
Feb 15, 2011

Dad gay. So what?

pop fly to McGillicutty
Feb 2, 2004

A peckish little mouse!
I'm waiting for my daughter at the dentist.

I'm a vampire.

Every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader," every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there – on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.

Drunk Nerds
Jan 25, 2011

Just close your eyes
Fun Shoe
As I walked through the NICU, I saw drug-addicted babies, malnourished babies, babies with organs on the outside of their body, then I saw a perfectly healthy looking baby...

... and I realized, in the six weeks I'd been coming there, I never once saw anyone visiting with him.

Grey Cat
Jun 3, 2023

Doing stuff and things


I put the quarter into my piggy bank.

My rear end clanks and jingles as I continue to walk.


Vertical stats GBS verified 6/30/2023 185.4cm

Hotel Kpro
Feb 24, 2011

owls don't go to school
Dinosaur Gum
One of our end users brought in donuts for me for doing a good job.

I was out that day.

Tree Goat
May 24, 2009

argania spinosa
the ominous notification ding of his email client forced him to minimize his dozens of browser tabs of anime pornography with a swipe of his greasy, onanism-callused fingers and abruptly swivel in his fart-patinaed gaming chair to face his second monitor, his overfull diaper sloshing and crinkling with the unaccustomed movement. it was as he had hoped: his application to be a forums moderator had been approved.

DicktheCat
Feb 15, 2011

My wisdom teeth are coming in sideways.

I live in America.

Alan Smithee
Jan 4, 2005


A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

Neito posted:

I lost my axe murdering my wife in the woods. Now she's returning it.

her and mine have much to discuss
______________💀💀💀_________________
Final Girl's night

Alan Smithee fucked around with this message at 19:42 on Oct 20, 2023

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva

DicktheCat posted:

My wisdom teeth are coming in sideways.

I live in America.

I arrive at Snipe's Dental Emporium. Praise God for the giant sign: financing available.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdaM5Mv-TTo

ThatBasqueGuy
Feb 14, 2013

someone introduce jojo to lazyb


Gonna have sex in this abandoned mansion
Oops, no condom

ChickenHeart
Nov 28, 2007

Take me at your own risk.

Kiss From a Hog

SniperWoreConverse posted:

I arrive at Snipe's Dental Emporium. Praise God for the giant sign: financing available.

Financing options? No, money down!

Alan Smithee
Jan 4, 2005


A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

Dead Sex-Parrot posted:

[b]"This won't hurt a bit", said my dentist.

He was wrong.

pop fly to McGillicutty posted:

I'm waiting for my daughter at the dentist.

I'm a vampire.



SniperWoreConverse posted:

I arrive at Snipe's Dental Emporium. Praise God for the giant sign: financing available.


ChickenHeart posted:

Financing options? No, money down!

welcome to Mental Dental Rental

formerly Chuck's Suck and gently caress

bobthenameless
Jun 20, 2005

far away across a void most deep a goon did type a passage to make you weep:
that which you think is awesome and most lit is actually one boring piece of poo poo

______________💀💀💀_________________

once there was a man from nantucket.
he had a dick so long he could suck it

______________💀💀💀_________________

the bell tower struck midnight
in a town where only the dead sleep

Fellatio del Toro
Mar 21, 2009

as the delete bar hit 100% i said to myself "i need the space, and you can watch it free anywhere"

if only we had known that was the night the internet would go down, for good

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Medullah
Aug 14, 2003

FEAR MY SHARK ROCKET IT REALLY SUCKS AND BLOWS

Fellatio del Toro posted:

as the delete bar hit 100% i said to myself "i need the space, and you can watch it free anywhere"

if only we had known that was the night the internet would go down, for good

You monster now I'll never sleep again

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