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 I've found a few dumb fart-themed things working at a thrift store in the last few months, and I'm easily amused. I posted about them in the PYF Terrible Books thread. One was a book with a sound board (may need to scroll up to see the cover of Farts: A Spotter's Guide). The other was a deck of playing cards, which inspired my recent name change and avatar. Anyway, I'm going to try and post cards from the deck, roughly once a day (hopefully). I didn't want to put this in PMF because I want other people to be able to post about these funny fart cards. (I didn't even realize this was a smilie until I posted it in the bad books thread, but I shouldn't have been surprised that it was)Fart cards already posted in the bad books thread: Box and back of cards:   Aces:     Kings:   (the first part there that's covered with a glare says "n: sonorous")   2 of Spades: 
Fifty Farts has a new favorite as of 18:43 on Oct 31, 2023 |
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Oct 21, 2023 04:45
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Why are there not fifty-two farts?
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Oct 21, 2023 08:08
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I actually played poker with the fart cards once. I gambled and lost.
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Oct 21, 2023 08:17
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Haschel Cedricson posted:Why are there not fifty-two farts? The box says there are "two extra farts included" so you can play cards with the deck. I guess "Fifty-two Farts" wasn't snappy enough.
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Oct 21, 2023 13:02
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of the day: pressure cooker
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Oct 21, 2023 23:57
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Fifty Farts posted:The box says there are "two extra farts included" so you can play cards with the deck. I guess "Fifty-two Farts" wasn't snappy enough. Because Joker Gas is lethal.
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Oct 22, 2023 03:39
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If the manufacturer wasn't a coward, these would be blank and scratch-n-sniff
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Oct 22, 2023 06:30
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fart of the day: atomic bomb Foxfire_ posted:If the manufacturer wasn't a coward, these would be blank and scratch-n-sniff Agreed, or at least some of them should be. Fifty Farts has a new favorite as of 20:09 on Oct 25, 2023 |
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Oct 22, 2023 18:31
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From the thread title, I was picturing something more like this
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Oct 23, 2023 07:36
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Omg
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Oct 23, 2023 15:27
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Lmao that my dumb fart thread got stickied. Thanks, Rhino. Thrhino.
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Oct 23, 2023 15:56
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Today's daily is the rump roast.
Fifty Farts has a new favorite as of 20:09 on Oct 25, 2023 |
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Oct 23, 2023 23:48
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Foxfire_ posted:If the manufacturer wasn't a coward, these would be blank and scratch-n-sniff Missed opportunity to call it the Poop Deck with a shuffler called the Turd Cutter
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Oct 24, 2023 17:34
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fart of the day: the drifter (sorry about the blurry picture) Tree Bucket posted:From the thread title, I was picturing something more like this lol at the can of beans. Fifty Farts has a new favorite as of 20:10 on Oct 25, 2023 |
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Oct 24, 2023 23:23
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I relate to "laughing gas", I remember I ripped rear end on the vinyl floor at my late grandparents house when I was like 11 & the first thing my stoner uncle said was "it's LAUGHING GAS" while wheezing & cracking up. Immediately broke the awkwardness & we were all breathless after like 10 minutes.
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Oct 24, 2023 23:54
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BOOTY-ADE posted:I relate to "laughing gas", I remember I ripped rear end on the vinyl floor at my late grandparents house when I was like 11 & the first thing my stoner uncle said was "it's LAUGHING GAS" while wheezing & cracking up. Immediately broke the awkwardness & we were all breathless after like 10 minutes. One of my older cousins used to pin us younger kids down and tickle us until we either farted or wet our pants because she thought it was hilarious. She wasn't wrong, but I hated being on the receiving end. Fifty Farts has a new favorite as of 00:09 on Oct 25, 2023 |
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Oct 25, 2023 00:06
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Fifty Farts posted:One of my older cousins used to pin us younger kids down and tickle us until we either farted or wet our pants because she thought it was hilarious. She wasn't wrong, but I hated being on the receiving end. My bio dad & grandpa would do goofy stuff like that, they always had the "check for bullfrogs" or "barking spider" excuses when they let rip  how is it that the worst smells can make the most vivid memories?
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Oct 25, 2023 00:30
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BOOTY-ADE posted:My bio dad & grandpa would do goofy stuff like that, they always had the "check for bullfrogs" or "barking spider" excuses when they let rip why is barking spider a thing? my dad said that all the time. or ducks.
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Oct 25, 2023 01:28
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Today's random fart card is the death rattle: DemonDarkhorse posted:why is barking spider a thing? my dad said that all the time. or ducks. I got "did you see the duck that did that?", too, but not barking spider. My guess is that it's just a dumb euphemism for farts that sounds like a normal-enough thing that someone can say it in "polite" company (or around kids), without saying the word "fart" or "flatulence" or something similar. Fifty Farts has a new favorite as of 20:18 on Oct 25, 2023 |
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Oct 25, 2023 20:12
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2012 was a simpler time
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Oct 26, 2023 16:45
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Rodney Dangerfield used to joke: "Whoa! Did somebody step on a duck?" if somebody farted. Or maybe he said it once in a movie, that was a long time ago. I could look it up right now but
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Oct 26, 2023 19:22
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today's : turn the other cheek nullandvoid posted:Rodney Dangerfield used to joke: "Whoa! Did somebody step on a duck?" if somebody farted. Or maybe he said it once in a movie, that was a long time ago. I could look it up right now but Now that you mention it, that's probably where I got it from. I want to say it was Caddyshack, but it could have been Back to School.
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Oct 26, 2023 23:39
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fart of the day: the smoke screen
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Oct 27, 2023 23:15
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Today's my birthday so you get two farts: 
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Oct 28, 2023 21:50
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I just want to say I am amused by these cards.
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Oct 29, 2023 02:07
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fartknocker posted:I just want to say I am amused by these cards. Thanks, fartknocker.  "Partially Constricted Sphincter" would be a good username but it's too long for SA.
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Oct 29, 2023 20:06
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DemonDarkhorse posted:why is barking spider a thing? my dad said that all the time. or ducks. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selenocosmia_crassipes it lives in a hole and makes noise
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Oct 30, 2023 09:09
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Stoner Sloth posted:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selenocosmia_crassipes Neat! Of course it's Australian. I actually learned something from this dumb thread, other than a bunch of names for types of farts. Speaking of which, here's today's fart card: 
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Oct 30, 2023 23:34
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Your commitment to fartposting is exemplary.
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Oct 31, 2023 01:10
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Tree Bucket posted:Your commitment to fartposting is exemplary. Thank you.  I thought that since somebody was kind enough to sticky the thread, I should probably keep posting fart cards. If I find any more fart-related media at work (like the book I posted about in the bad books thread, linked in the OP), I'll probably post about that, too. You'd be surprised (or maybe not) what comes into a charity thrift store that never makes it out to the actual store. Anything with swear words or naked people is obviously a no-go, so the employees get that stuff for practically nothing (we pay 49 cents if it's something that can't be sold in the store).
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Oct 31, 2023 03:35
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Adding to the chorus of people appreciating these fart cards. They're like daily affirmations for your colon!
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Oct 31, 2023 14:55
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For your sake I hope someone brings in a copy of Walter the Farting Dog. Everyone deserves to know Walter and his misadventures.
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Oct 31, 2023 16:24
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Today's random is the barking spider, only a couple days too late to be relevant to the discussion. Gertrude Perkins posted:Adding to the chorus of people appreciating these fart cards. They're like daily affirmations for your colon! Affartmations. Fifty Farts has a new favorite as of 23:57 on Oct 31, 2023 |
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Oct 31, 2023 23:29
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I'm glad people are enjoying the daily affartmations. Today's is a little early because I have the day off. Here's the butt burp: Dorm Room Smell is another decent username.
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Nov 1, 2023 17:51
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Fifty Farts posted:Thank you.  fellow charity shop volunteer. I got a pretty good copy of the Silmarillion that way, and some good houseplants, but elected against taking home the lightly-used strap-on.
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Nov 2, 2023 01:05
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Tree Bucket posted:
Employee, actually. but right back at you. I've gotten some nice framed pictures, a good winter coat, and a Terminator/T2 dvd set so far, along with the more frivolous fart media. This place (a literal charity organization) pays better than my last job (which I had for almost 17 years), with better benefits, more hours, better hours, I don't have to deal with customers (I'm taking in donations that people drop off for most of the day), and I'm by myself for a lot of my shift so I can listen to podcasts while I work. Plus a bunch of the retirees who volunteer like to bake stuff so we have desserts practically every day. My stress levels have gone down so much in the last few months. My cholesterol, probably not so much (our store is also next to a Culver's, which is fast and convenient, so I eat there more than I should). Also, thankfully, I missed the box of sex toys and bondage gear that came in a couple years ago that one of the old lady volunteers took something home from. But you aren't reading this thread for my life story. I know you want farts, and I'm here to deliver. Bonus today! The fart grenade
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Nov 2, 2023 02:56
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Today's daily fart:
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Nov 2, 2023 23:42
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Today's daily affartmation is the malingerer:
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Nov 4, 2023 00:30
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Tree Bucket posted:From the thread title, I was picturing something more like this This is art. The pulled finger. Good lord. God help me I would wear this on a tshirt.
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Nov 4, 2023 00:38
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Flint_Paper posted:This is art. The pulled finger. Good lord. Thanks. An artist always appreciates comments like these.
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Nov 4, 2023 07:52
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