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Zoeb
Oct 8, 2023
First of all, let me get this out of the way. This is not at all about the rules of this forum, this subforum, or any other subforum, regardless of background color. The forum rules don’t have much impact on the world outside of the forum. I am not telling or suggesting to anyone how they should or should not moderate to forum and nobody needs to be banned or probated. My interest is in how you behave outside of this forum and the impact your words and actions have on yourself and others.

I am asking you to please, voluntarily, do not use this term in real life, or at all, and I hope you will take this topic seriously and not flippantly dismiss it which is why this is posted here and not in a more casual place.

It is in my view, just as it is not acceptable to call me a human being or a tranny, or to call yourself or your friends that for contemptable behavior, it is not acceptable to use the word “retard” to refer to people with cognitive impairments and learning disabilities or to point at absurd or contemptable behavior and refer to is as retarded.
Not Acceptable R-word PSA - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T549VoLca_Q
Spread the Word to End the Word - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ru4xSKnVHhw
NoGoodWay to use the r-word - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8i3CnpJAno
Self-advocates speak out about the R-word - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZU8iSGsUFHA

I believe that this word embodies oppression and one of the most manifest and profound stigmas we have. People with cognitive impairments are dehumanized. The concept of intelligence is often conflated with a virtue, with humanity and therefore those who are intellectually disabled are often seen as lacking in that humanity. They are at greater risk for being raped or molested throughout their lives, in addition to physical abuse and torture. There are exceptions to the federal minimum wage for disabled employees and therefore these people are also severely exploited.

The impact of the stigma is embodied in even modern institutions such the Judge Rotenberg center. And historical examples of profoundly abusive institutions where people’s teeth were knocked out as a matter of policy, even if the client had no history of biting. There are people alive today who live with the scars and trauma of this stigma. They have been maimed by these institutions.

Here are some examples. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ev80qEtp2u4
Judge Rotenburg Center - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y909QxWVV8g

You might argue that, “I don’t agree with any of that, what does that have to do with the word?” This is about stigma. As this term is used as a playground insult, when you point at contemptible behavior and use this term, you are promoting the beliefs and practices that dehumanize people with intellectual disabilities. People with intellectual disabilities, which are not always visible, hear you. People who have family members and friends hear you.

In my short time here, I have picked up on how many folks here are deeply conscientious people with strong, if diverging beliefs about justice and fairness. I believe the overwhelming majority of you want the world to be a better place but this seems to be a blind spot for some folks who otherwise have good politics. I’ve been reading the SAcyclopedia to catch up on some of the in jokes. It seems that these forums have gone through many changes over the years. That’s good. I am not here to shame you for how you used to be. It shows growth. It shows progress. But this does seem to be a part of the culture and I really hope you are not internalizing those beliefs and are not using it in public or elsewhere. I hope that this community has reached a point in its evolution to discuss this with maturity and grace.

If nothing else reaches you folks, the term is at the very least gauche, dated, and makes you seem like you have no class or manners at all. It is not funny and it makes you look cringe. My feeling when I see this term used is not offense or being “triggered.” Instead I feel a secondhand cringe that someone here would embarrass themselves by using such a tired, unfunny, and outdated insult. It is something embarrassing people would say.

What to use instead?

Honestly, in my opinion, I would rather people did not further stigma against people over their intelligence and come up with better explanations for why contemptible people are the way they are but I understand this may not be meeting you where you are at. I do struggle with this myself sometimes. But, powerful people are generally not “stupid” but have a disagreeable ideology, engage in groupthink, are pandering, or are lacking in judgment. People behaving in silly or absurd ways in various forms of media or in your day to day lives can similarly be explained without resorting to stigmatizing people who struggle with cognition and learning. Maybe they lack support, or manners, or class, or think something is funny that isn’t funny.

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mannerup
Jan 11, 2004

♬ I Know You're Dying Trying To Figure Me Out♬

♬My Name's On The Tip Of Your Tongue Keep Running Your Mouth♬

♬You Want The Recipe But Can't Handle My Sound My Sound My Sound♬

♬No Matter What You Do Im Gonna Get It Without Ya♬

♬ I Know You Ain't Used To A Female Alpha♬
.

mannerup fucked around with this message at 19:05 on Nov 5, 2023

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007




Grimey Drawer
I'm a person with a non-cognitive disability who's been called a retard as a slur plenty of times, and this post...kinda infuriates me. Let me be clear. I don't use the word. I haven't in at least 15 years. Probably longer. That's mostly because I don't want to offend people, and there are, in my estimation, far more palatable versions that're less offensive anyway, so what's the point? Here's why it infuriates me though.

Fixating on the goddamn language and acting like eliminating the r-word from casual use (which TBH has pretty much already happened, so like, what're you even going for here?) will be some huge victory, some huge coup for people with disabilities, is legit offensive to me. People don't regularly use the word tranny anymore, certainly not without backlash. That's great. But are things for trans folks in this country any less hosed? I mean, probably at least a little bit but think about how many issues there still are. You don't need me to tell you. Anti-trans legislation, casual bigotry that never goes into full hate crime and therefore kinda skates by, dogwhistles...that all has gotten just as bad if not worse as the outright hatred has become less societally acceptable. I'm not saying eliminating that isn't a step forward, it is. What I am saying is too many people pat themselves on the back and stop there.

Going back to the disability community in particular, because that's the thing I can directly speak on in my own lived experience, I literally and I do mean literally work in the field of legislative and systems change for people with I/DD, mental health issues, and substance use disorders. Wanna know what's a bigger deal than people using the word retard? Medicaid eligibility. Asset limits for people with disabilities who work. The government taking back people's money when they die if they're disabled to recoup what the government gave them. The fact that people with disabilities pretty much can't loving get married because of more bullshit about assets and all that. It's not illegal, but it's de facto almost made that way through insidious institutionalized ableism. Underpaid care staff that can theoretically help people with disabilities live out in their communities rather than being warehoused in group homes somewhere that are scarcely better than the prison system. But nobody talks about that, or almost nobody. We talk about other institutionalized -isms and -phobias, as we loving should, but it just doesn't happen with ableism, and worse than that, there've been times where I've tried to talk to people of other marginalized populations in an effort to create coalition thinking, and I get told "you don't get it, you don't belong here", sometimes even on these forums themselves, in the spaces where people theoretically would be expected to be thoughtful about this poo poo.

I'm not really trying to come at you specifically, but the fixation that some people have on the r-word, even within the disability community, is kinda missing the forest for the trees and is putting a band-aid on a festering wound while the people and institutions that caused all these problems in the first place throw themselves parties just because they're not saying the quiet part out loud anymore.

Also, sometimes stuff is stupid. Not smart. Idiotic. Foolish. Lacking intelligence. Therefore, while I believe the r-word should and absolutely could be eliminated from any polite conversation, as has already been said, it's different from any other slur because like...I'm sorry but sometimes the SENTIMENT behind the word or more importantly similar, more polite words is 100% warranted, regardless of any other othering variables. There's no other slur that's like that.

Either way, I'm only one person, this post is just my opinion, but as a person with a disability who is constantly being oppressed and hosed by the system in ways that would NOT fly in any other context, overly fixating on this one thing rather than having conversations and taking tangible actions surrounding the real disease rather than a single symptom of it makes me want to tear my hair out. If you really wanna help, think more about the stuff that's destroying lives on a daily basis way more than some offensive language.

Zoeb
Oct 8, 2023

SamuraiFoochs posted:

I'm a person with a non-cognitive disability who's been called a retard as a slur plenty of times, and this post...kinda infuriates me. Let me be clear. I don't use the word. I haven't in at least 15 years. Probably longer. That's mostly because I don't want to offend people, and there are, in my estimation, far more palatable versions that're less offensive anyway, so what's the point? Here's why it infuriates me though.

Fixating on the goddamn language and acting like eliminating the r-word from casual use (which TBH has pretty much already happened, so like, what're you even going for here?) will be some huge victory, some huge coup for people with disabilities, is legit offensive to me. People don't regularly use the word tranny anymore, certainly not without backlash. That's great. But are things for trans folks in this country any less hosed? I mean, probably at least a little bit but think about how many issues there still are. You don't need me to tell you. Anti-trans legislation, casual bigotry that never goes into full hate crime and therefore kinda skates by, dogwhistles...that all has gotten just as bad if not worse as the outright hatred has become less societally acceptable. I'm not saying eliminating that isn't a step forward, it is. What I am saying is too many people pat themselves on the back and stop there.

Going back to the disability community in particular, because that's the thing I can directly speak on in my own lived experience, I literally and I do mean literally work in the field of legislative and systems change for people with I/DD, mental health issues, and substance use disorders. Wanna know what's a bigger deal than people using the word retard? Medicaid eligibility. Asset limits for people with disabilities who work. The government taking back people's money when they die if they're disabled to recoup what the government gave them. The fact that people with disabilities pretty much can't loving get married because of more bullshit about assets and all that. It's not illegal, but it's de facto almost made that way through insidious institutionalized ableism. Underpaid care staff that can theoretically help people with disabilities live out in their communities rather than being warehoused in group homes somewhere that are scarcely better than the prison system. But nobody talks about that, or almost nobody. We talk about other institutionalized -isms and -phobias, as we loving should, but it just doesn't happen with ableism, and worse than that, there've been times where I've tried to talk to people of other marginalized populations in an effort to create coalition thinking, and I get told "you don't get it, you don't belong here", sometimes even on these forums themselves, in the spaces where people theoretically would be expected to be thoughtful about this poo poo.

I'm not really trying to come at you specifically, but the fixation that some people have on the r-word, even within the disability community, is kinda missing the forest for the trees and is putting a band-aid on a festering wound while the people and institutions that caused all these problems in the first place throw themselves parties just because they're not saying the quiet part out loud anymore.

Also, sometimes stuff is stupid. Not smart. Idiotic. Foolish. Lacking intelligence. Therefore, while I believe the r-word should and absolutely could be eliminated from any polite conversation, as has already been said, it's different from any other slur because like...I'm sorry but sometimes the SENTIMENT behind the word or more importantly similar, more polite words is 100% warranted, regardless of any other othering variables. There's no other slur that's like that.

Either way, I'm only one person, this post is just my opinion, but as a person with a disability who is constantly being oppressed and hosed by the system in ways that would NOT fly in any other context, overly fixating on this one thing rather than having conversations and taking tangible actions surrounding the real disease rather than a single symptom of it makes me want to tear my hair out. If you really wanna help, think more about the stuff that's destroying lives on a daily basis way more than some offensive language.

That is a good point and I do agree there are bigger problems. I'm affected by some of them. I can't get married to my partner because of disability income limits.

I do think that eliminating the casual use of the word is a good first step in reducing stigma that perhaps fuels some of the lack of care but yes the other things you highlight are absolutely more important.

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007




Grimey Drawer

Zoeb posted:

That is a good point and I do agree there are bigger problems. I'm affected by some of them. I can't get married to my partner because of disability income limits.

I do think that eliminating the casual use of the word is a good first step in reducing stigma that perhaps fuels some of the lack of care but yes the other things you highlight are absolutely more important.

Except like...that's already happened?

Outside of MAYBE places like 4chan or Kiwifarms or something, or maybe FYAD, I honestly wouldn't know, if someone calls someone or something retarded, do they face backlash for it? I'd put the percentage likelihood at greater than 95%.

Yet I can tell you the DSP workforce crisis is literally in the worst state it's been in decades. Not only because it's my job to know this poo poo and to try to change it, but because I live in constant fear FOR MY OWN LIFE because of its ramifications.

So um...nah. The problem is more that people who assume the stigma is gone (which a good chunk of it is, in many ways) who don't live it trust the rest to take care of itself. It's not.

aventari
Mar 20, 2001

I SWIFTLY PENETRATED YOUR MOMS MEAT TACO WHILE AGGRESSIVELY FONDLING THE UNDERSIDE OF YOUR DADS HAIRY BALLSACK, THEN RIPPED HIS SAUSAGE OFF AND RAMMED IT INTO YOUR MOMS TAILPIPE. I JIZZED FURIOUSLY, DEEP IN YOUR MOMS MEATY BURGER WHILE THRUSTING A ANSA MUFFLER UP MY GREASY TAILHOLE
Yes retard is fine in some contexts. human being is fine in context. friend of the family is fine in some contexts.

I'm not going to iterate over a register of acceptable and non-acceptable use, it varies for everyone. But they're just words and the language policing going on with the corporate (and much of the non-corporate) internet is obnoxious and a disservice to society.

I'm reminded of the old goatse disclaimer

quote:

The goatse.cx lawyer has informed us that we need a warning! So.. if you find this photograph offensive, please don't look at it. Thank you!

edit: also saying stuff like 'r-word' 'n-word' etc is such a cop out. It's just playing a semantic game of saying the word without actually saying it. You put the word in the readers head the same as if you said it you're just too chicken-poo poo to admit it. If you want to have an adult discussion, just do it without the tiptoeing around.

aventari fucked around with this message at 07:40 on Oct 27, 2023

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007




Grimey Drawer

aventari posted:

edit: also saying stuff like 'r-word' 'n-word' etc is such a cop out. It's just playing a semantic game of saying the word without actually saying it. You put the word in the readers head the same as if you said it you're just too chicken-poo poo to admit it. If you want to have an adult discussion, just do it without the tiptoeing around.

The problem with THIS logic is a lot of ignorant/racist/ableist people will "ironically" drop the whole-rear end slur, or do so in the guise of an honest, intellectual discussion when it's pretty goddamn obvious they're doing it because they want to say the slur and then deflect the potential consequences.

So there's a kernel of truth to this but it's also largely bullshit used by bad actors.

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound
Generally speaking, if you use a slur, the conversation immediately stops being about what you were talking about before and instead becomes a conversation about the slur.

Bel Shazar
Sep 14, 2012

aventari posted:

edit: also saying stuff like 'r-word' 'n-word' etc is such a cop out. It's just playing a semantic game of saying the word without actually saying it. You put the word in the readers head the same as if you said it you're just too chicken-poo poo to admit it. If you want to have an adult discussion, just do it without the tiptoeing around.

I'm a huge fan of not having words like that driven into my brain via text or any other medium and while encoding it slightly doesn't help a ton, it does help a bit.

The beginning of your post, for example, was unnecessary.

Rappaport
Oct 2, 2013

Because dungeons and debates is about pedantry, there is a non-human-affiliated use of the word "retarded". But speaking of people, I wouldn't use the term and would consider it offensive if someone else did.

I guess I'm getting old, but I don't really see the need for making jokes with those kind of slurs, either.

Zoeb
Oct 8, 2023

Rappaport posted:

Because dungeons and debates is about pedantry, there is a non-human-affiliated use of the word "retarded". But speaking of people, I wouldn't use the term and would consider it offensive if someone else did.

I guess I'm getting old, but I don't really see the need for making jokes with those kind of slurs, either.

I don't think many people are complaining about paint retarder medium or fire retardant.

The Artificial Kid
Feb 22, 2002
Plibble
This is just another in an endless chain of new scientific or non-judgmental terms being developed for intellectual disability, and shitbirds then adopting those terms as insults.

https://www.merriam-webster.com/wordplay/moron-idiot-imbecile-offensive-history

This segment-of-the-population/aspect-of-ourselves has even made an insult out of the term "special education" ("sped"). Have you considered that in the long run we might be better off drawing a line and refusing to budge any further? It's not hard to tell the difference between someone who says "look at that loving [scientific term]" and someone who says "we need to devote more effort to improving outcomes and quality of life for the intellectually [scientific term]ed" or "One thing we can all agree on is that people with intellectual [scientific term]ation are worthy of equal dignity and respect".

We absolutely shouldn't be using those terms as insults. But objecting to the well-intentioned use of the term is essentially conceding that it somehow is an insult.

Blue Footed Booby
Oct 4, 2006

got those happy feet

Bel Shazar posted:

I'm a huge fan of not having words like that driven into my brain via text or any other medium and while encoding it slightly doesn't help a ton, it does help a bit.

The beginning of your post, for example, was unnecessary.

Agreed.

Also:

Like, I get this stuff is subjective but there's gotta come a point where you take a step back and ask "am I really an appropriate yardstick for what is and isn't socially acceptable."

Jesus III
May 23, 2007
It's fun watching the word that used to be the right word become the wrong word. I hope I live long enough to see it happen over and over. Language is amazing.

Bel Shazar
Sep 14, 2012

Jesus III posted:

It's fun watching the word that used to be the right word become the wrong word. I hope I live long enough to see it happen over and over. Language is amazing.

If you haven't read it yet I recommend The Power of Babel by John McWhorter

Zoeb
Oct 8, 2023

Jesus III posted:

It's fun watching the word that used to be the right word become the wrong word. I hope I live long enough to see it happen over and over. Language is amazing.

I don't think, strictly speaking, you were ever supposed to call people "retard" as a playground insult, even when "mentally retarded" was the legal and medical term. I think people tossing around this status as an insult or to label things that are contemptible is stigmatizing regardless of the term used.

Pantaloon Pontiff
Jun 25, 2023

That's a pretty trivial 'yes', no one objects to saying something like 'the lack of oxygen retarded the spread of the fire'. Otherwise it's not, but I don't think you see it used any more outside of people trying to be offensive (edgy 13-year-olds in games, anti-woke people, and the like).

Hieronymous Alloy posted:

Generally speaking, if you use a slur, the conversation immediately stops being about what you were talking about before and instead becomes a conversation about the slur.

It's interesting watching reaction videos to The Dead Kennedy's "Holiday in Cambodia" when they use the original track, there's a distinct double-take when the slur comes on. There wasn't the same stigma around using the word when the song was recorded, especially since the context is that the people using it are the ones in the wrong, so while it exactly conveyed 'these are stuck up white people who claim to understand the black people they sneer at' back in the day, now it's just 'whoa this white dude dropped an n-bomb'. Modern performances and covers just switch the line to say 'blacks' instead, which gets the point across without the controversy and is more accurate to modern usage of the group being criticized. (In the 1970s, white people, even ones who didn't consider themselves racist, were way more likely to use the word casually, now the type of people the song is talking about would avoid it even if they share the prejudice).

Jesus III posted:

It's fun watching the word that used to be the right word become the wrong word. I hope I live long enough to see it happen over and over. Language is amazing.

But it was never the right word. Calling someone 'mentally retarded' was a neutral, clinical term, but the insult form was always intended to be a slur.

Jesus III
May 23, 2007
So will all the other words people come up with as a better word. Every clinical work for a disability will eventually become an insult. Changing the word doesn't change the problem. Moron, idiot and cretin all used to be clinical terms.

I'm quite willing to stop using any word that pisses someone off, but don't think getting rid of the "R word" will solve the fundamental problem that people outside the "norm" get treated poorly.

Jon
Nov 30, 2004
Unless you think fighting oppression and choosing not to use a slur are mutually exclusive, you shouldn't dichotomize them.

Korthal
May 26, 2011

I mean, guess what ARC is short for?

OwlFancier
Aug 22, 2013

To be honest I don't know anybody who would use it and I don't voluntarily frequent any spaces where it would be used. It's broadly similar to someone casually using racial slurs in signifying "this person probably sucks to be around"

It's a fairly recent development but I think a good one.

Kavros
May 18, 2011

sleep sleep sleep
fly fly post post
sleep sleep sleep
Was just having a discussion about this over a father who's been working in automotive engineering for big diesel engines like that they put in school busses and semis, or "diesel pushers" which go on the back of tour busses or exceptionally large motorhomes, and frequently has to talk about, say, retarded ignition timing. Or retard compression.

Their individual solution after a dirty look incident was to avoid verbally discussing such things over the phone in a public place or anywhere its use could be accidentally offensive. Because when we're talking about the world at large and its general usage, it is a slur primarily used to punch down as it can to equip sophomoric cruelty, and it shouldn't be a complicated question about intentionally omitting it when asked.

zhar
May 3, 2019

Do doctors and the like still use it eg "the child was born mentally / physically retarded" or is disabled or some other word the new term because retard became a slur? Just curious.

A Buttery Pastry
Sep 4, 2011

Delicious and Informative!
:3:
Given the neutral connotations, like the example of retard compression, the medical community should make sure the next slur they're gonna invent is entirely novel. That way, the term is only going to exist as a slur, which will reduce harm to people affected by the slur and also not cast innocent mechanics as assholes.

atomicvocabulary
Oct 21, 2002

Say hello to the sunrise for me...
I use it medically and I've also substituted other terms as well such as "Cognitive deficit" and MR (Which means mental retardation, though in school some instructors said not to use this so even "MR" isn't correct? Well school is not the real world.)

I can also use it in regular, professional, conversation when not referring to a person but the pronouncing changes and it changes to a verb.

Also my older brother had a cognitive deficit when he was born, hydrocephalus, after having a stroke in utero. Mentally aged 9 when he died at 40, worked at goodwill, the whole thing. The term never offended me.

queeb
Jun 10, 2004

m



I guess if you're an airline pilot

cat botherer
Jan 6, 2022

I am interested in most phases of data processing.
Some Green's functions are pretty retarded.

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007




Grimey Drawer

Korthal posted:

I mean, guess what ARC is short for?

It's not an acronym anymore for that exact reason; it's literally "The Arc" now.

Nice try though.

Jon posted:

Unless you think fighting oppression and choosing not to use a slur are mutually exclusive, you shouldn't dichotomize them.

I think this is a comment towards my post, and if it is I promise you I don't think people should use the word and like I said I haven't in at LEAST 15 years. At least. Nor do I know anyone who even semi-regularly does anymore. This is a good thing. However, if YOU think there aren't people who go "slur gone, -ism over" and that that attitude isn't problematic towards further progress, then I have a bridge to sell you.

SamuraiFoochs fucked around with this message at 05:28 on Oct 29, 2023

Zoeb
Oct 8, 2023

queeb posted:

I guess if you're an airline pilot

I don't think people are referring to technical uses of the term that have nothing at all to do with low intelligence. Like I mentioned earlier, I have a bottle of paint retarder medium on my worktable for my warhammer 40k stuff. People have sense enough to recognize that is not a slur.

SamuraiFoochs posted:

I think this is a comment towards my post, and if it is I promise you I don't think people should use the word and like I said I haven't in at LEAST 15 years. At least. Nor do I know anyone who even semi-regularly does anymore. This is a good thing. However, if YOU think there aren't people who go "slur gone, -ism over" and that that attitude isn't problematic towards further progress, then I have a bridge to sell you.

I recognize that is true. Its similar to how ignorant white people think that racism is over since they are under pressure not to say the n-word at work, and therefore we need to scale back efforts against police brutality or economic inequality.

Zoeb fucked around with this message at 05:35 on Oct 29, 2023

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007




Grimey Drawer

Zoeb posted:

I recognize that is true. Its similar to how ignorant white people think that racism is over since they are under pressure not to say the n-word at work, and therefore we need to scale back efforts against police brutality or economic inequality.

Bingo.

I wasn't saying you do think this with my initial response, by the way, but I do get really frustrated by people who do (and like we say, they 100% do exist). And like, to give a concrete example, I know of parents of children with say, Down syndrome who have literally tried to make legislation surrounding the word and put a ton of time and energy into that venture, and that makes me want to scream, personally.

The Artificial Kid
Feb 22, 2002
Plibble

zhar posted:

Do doctors and the like still use it eg "the child was born mentally / physically retarded" or is disabled or some other word the new term because retard became a slur? Just curious.
One commonly used alternative is "developmentally/intellectually delayed" which makes it all the more maddening that we've ceded this ground to the assholes because delayed literally has the same meaning as retarded. I wish there were a way to just shut the assholes up so the rest of us can get on with life. It feels like we've all collectively said to the bullies "Oh gosh we are so sorry, sir, we didn't even realise you wanted that word, we'll find another one to use".

A Buttery Pastry
Sep 4, 2011

Delicious and Informative!
:3:

The Artificial Kid posted:

One commonly used alternative is "developmentally/intellectually delayed" which makes it all the more maddening that we've ceded this ground to the assholes because delayed literally has the same meaning as retarded. I wish there were a way to just shut the assholes up so the rest of us can get on with life. It feels like we've all collectively said to the bullies "Oh gosh we are so sorry, sir, we didn't even realise you wanted that word, we'll find another one to use".
Isn't that what's been happening since forever? Like SamuraiFoochs said, the basic sentiment behind the slur is different from others, as it's basically referring to someone being the opposite of a near-universally valued quality. Like, the path to getting people to stop using a slur is:

A: Convincing them that using the slur is bad for them personally (On the balance, I lose social standing when I use this word)
B: Convincing them that the thing the slur represents isn't bad (Black people aren't inferior to white people)

B is a far harder hurdle to clear for any word meaning "Of (extremely) low intelligence" than it is for "dude has a different skin color", and that reflects back on A because it changes the social dynamic. Convincing people that being of (extremely) low intelligence is of such low importance that it becomes near irrelevant is the actual task at hand if you want to avoid people using the word retarded, or its upcoming alternatives.

The Top G
Jul 19, 2023

by Fluffdaddy

Kavros posted:

Was just having a discussion about this over a father who's been working in automotive engineering for big diesel engines like that they put in school busses and semis, or "diesel pushers" which go on the back of tour busses or exceptionally large motorhomes, and frequently has to talk about, say, retarded ignition timing. Or retard compression.

Their individual solution after a dirty look incident was to avoid verbally discussing such things over the phone in a public place or anywhere its use could be accidentally offensive. Because when we're talking about the world at large and its general usage, it is a slur primarily used to punch down as it can to equip sophomoric cruelty, and it shouldn't be a complicated question about intentionally omitting it when asked.

So an automotive engineer was overheard saying “retard” within the context of his work, received a dirty look from passerby, and …. decided to never use such language in public again? Seems like an overreaction to me, especially given that that the pejorative use of the word “retard” is pronounced differently than the verb “retard”.

In my experience most people are able to use context clues to determine when someone is being bigoted or not. Say I hear someone talking about “fixing their tranny” .. I can presume they are likely referring to repairing the transmission in their car—and not sterilizing a transgender individual. Same thing goes for the use of “retard” in an industrial setting.

zhar
May 3, 2019

Thanks to this thread I spent a large part of yesterday evening watching norm macdonald clips, and have come to the conclusion that use of language like the r-word is unforgivable,so there's your answer op

Arglebargle III
Feb 21, 2006

Only when describing your posts OP.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Angepain
Jul 13, 2012

what keeps happening to my clothes

atomicvocabulary posted:

Also my older brother had a cognitive deficit when he was born, hydrocephalus, after having a stroke in utero. Mentally aged 9 when he died at 40, worked at goodwill, the whole thing. The term never offended me.

I think a large amount of the damage the word can do is to those who it is directed toward, so I don't think it is particularly meaningful that you didn't mind people using it about your brother.

Misunderstood
Jan 19, 2023

by Fluffdaddy
I personally find the word zero percent offensive but other people do so I don’t say it. Being a decent person isn’t hard (which is what makes “anti-wokeness” so irritating - what does it cost you?)

That said, as others have pointed out it is functionally identical, in origin and usage as “idiot, moron,” etc. I wonder if there is any possibility that the current value-neutral descriptors like “developmentally delayed” or “intellectually disabled” have been intentionally made so dry and clunky to avoid making them appealing insults. (The flip side of that is that lay people are going to be pretty resistant to using them clinically, and I would guess that outside of communities like this one, medical settings and the disabled community, the word “retarded” is still used more often that the currently accepted alternatives, even by those not aiming to offend.)

But removing a stigma from stupidity, which is viewed, fairly or not (?), as closely correlated with cognitive capacity, is not a simple thing, and changing the language isn’t going to have any effect on it. I’m not sure why we should expect a tendency toward poor reasoning to escape stigma any more than being “blind” or “lame,” both words that are used metaphorically and imply the named disabilities are negatives, in a way that doesn’t really seem to upset people (although I have heard “lame” criticized - not in a while, though.)

Like, poor reasoning is currently causing (and always has caused) gigantic problems in the world, and I think a lot of things about society would have to change before we, as a society, mentally decouple reasoning and cognition, if such a thing is possible.

Is that a wise thing to do? I’m not sure. I do know that I have often seen people use high cognitive capacity to reason themselves into what is clearly a “stupid” position, so at least at that end of the spectrum, the correlation is imperfect at best.

OneEightHundred
Feb 28, 2008

Soon, we will be unstoppable!

Misunderstood posted:

That said, as others have pointed out it is functionally identical, in origin and usage as “idiot, moron,” etc. I wonder if there is any possibility that the current value-neutral descriptors like “developmentally delayed” or “intellectually disabled” have been intentionally made so dry and clunky to avoid making them appealing insults.
"Mentally retarded" was supposed to be the dry, technical, neutral, sanitized label in the first place.


The only success story I can think of for any of this type of thing went the other way around: The "neurodivergence" framing improving the perception of some conditions, like we're at the point where saying someone is "autistic" is... not great? But not always negative? Better than it would have been 20 years ago at least. But that partly happened because society decided "divergent" ways of thinking were valuable in some contexts. A bunch of conditions are still nowhere near that, like a fetal diagnosis of Down's syndrome is followed by abortion of the pregnancy 90% of the time.

Nissin Cup Nudist
Sep 3, 2011

Sleep with one eye open

We're off to Gritty Gritty land




I'm pretty sure the English word is a bastardization of the Italian ritardando, so don't mispronounce that one

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PT6A
Jan 5, 2006

Public school teachers are callous dictators who won't lift a finger to stop children from peeing in my plane
I think, as a person with a disability, the sentiment is the really important thing. The slur that applies to my disability is "spastic" and I know it was mainly a bigger thing in the UK than in North America, but honestly... it doesn't really bother me in and of itself. If you use that word in a way that's not obviously mean, that's okay. If you use an "acceptable" word or phrase to say a mean-spirited thing, the words themselves are irrelevant: you're doing a bad thing.

To give an example: I was playing darts with a friend of mind (who did happen to be English, and of an older generation), and he made a poo poo throw and cursed himself "oh, you spastic bastard!" That's not offensive, in my opinion. If he said it to a third person who was playing with us, that'd be questionable. If he said it to me, after I made a poo poo throw, that would be very offensive. But also I knew him well, we were good friends and I knew he wouldn't say anything with the intention of being hurtful toward me.

To say that a word is offensive in any or all contexts is ridiculous, in my opinion. One of the reasons is because it infantilizes the people who are the target of the slur, because it implies that we can't distinguish the difference between the word itself and the intent behind it. On the flipside, it excuses, to some extent, the intent of a very hurtful comment without the coarse language, and therefore I see it as a way in which society launders its repugnant opinions about disadvantaged groups by ensuring that everyone uses the correct language. We wouldn't want to be rude, after all.

That being said, I would of course try to minimize my use of a word that is widely considered to be offensive. That's simply common sense.

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