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I'm a person with a non-cognitive disability who's been called a retard as a slur plenty of times, and this post...kinda infuriates me. Let me be clear. I don't use the word. I haven't in at least 15 years. Probably longer. That's mostly because I don't want to offend people, and there are, in my estimation, far more palatable versions that're less offensive anyway, so what's the point? Here's why it infuriates me though. Fixating on the goddamn language and acting like eliminating the r-word from casual use (which TBH has pretty much already happened, so like, what're you even going for here?) will be some huge victory, some huge coup for people with disabilities, is legit offensive to me. People don't regularly use the word tranny anymore, certainly not without backlash. That's great. But are things for trans folks in this country any less hosed? I mean, probably at least a little bit but think about how many issues there still are. You don't need me to tell you. Anti-trans legislation, casual bigotry that never goes into full hate crime and therefore kinda skates by, dogwhistles...that all has gotten just as bad if not worse as the outright hatred has become less societally acceptable. I'm not saying eliminating that isn't a step forward, it is. What I am saying is too many people pat themselves on the back and stop there. Going back to the disability community in particular, because that's the thing I can directly speak on in my own lived experience, I literally and I do mean literally work in the field of legislative and systems change for people with I/DD, mental health issues, and substance use disorders. Wanna know what's a bigger deal than people using the word retard? Medicaid eligibility. Asset limits for people with disabilities who work. The government taking back people's money when they die if they're disabled to recoup what the government gave them. The fact that people with disabilities pretty much can't loving get married because of more bullshit about assets and all that. It's not illegal, but it's de facto almost made that way through insidious institutionalized ableism. Underpaid care staff that can theoretically help people with disabilities live out in their communities rather than being warehoused in group homes somewhere that are scarcely better than the prison system. But nobody talks about that, or almost nobody. We talk about other institutionalized -isms and -phobias, as we loving should, but it just doesn't happen with ableism, and worse than that, there've been times where I've tried to talk to people of other marginalized populations in an effort to create coalition thinking, and I get told "you don't get it, you don't belong here", sometimes even on these forums themselves, in the spaces where people theoretically would be expected to be thoughtful about this poo poo. I'm not really trying to come at you specifically, but the fixation that some people have on the r-word, even within the disability community, is kinda missing the forest for the trees and is putting a band-aid on a festering wound while the people and institutions that caused all these problems in the first place throw themselves parties just because they're not saying the quiet part out loud anymore. Also, sometimes stuff is stupid. Not smart. Idiotic. Foolish. Lacking intelligence. Therefore, while I believe the r-word should and absolutely could be eliminated from any polite conversation, as has already been said, it's different from any other slur because like...I'm sorry but sometimes the SENTIMENT behind the word or more importantly similar, more polite words is 100% warranted, regardless of any other othering variables. There's no other slur that's like that. Either way, I'm only one person, this post is just my opinion, but as a person with a disability who is constantly being oppressed and hosed by the system in ways that would NOT fly in any other context, overly fixating on this one thing rather than having conversations and taking tangible actions surrounding the real disease rather than a single symptom of it makes me want to tear my hair out. If you really wanna help, think more about the stuff that's destroying lives on a daily basis way more than some offensive language.
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Oct 27, 2023 06:56
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Zoeb posted:That is a good point and I do agree there are bigger problems. I'm affected by some of them. I can't get married to my partner because of disability income limits. Except like...that's already happened? Outside of MAYBE places like 4chan or Kiwifarms or something, or maybe FYAD, I honestly wouldn't know, if someone calls someone or something retarded, do they face backlash for it? I'd put the percentage likelihood at greater than 95%. Yet I can tell you the DSP workforce crisis is literally in the worst state it's been in decades. Not only because it's my job to know this poo poo and to try to change it, but because I live in constant fear FOR MY OWN LIFE because of its ramifications. So um...nah. The problem is more that people who assume the stigma is gone (which a good chunk of it is, in many ways) who don't live it trust the rest to take care of itself. It's not.
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Oct 27, 2023 07:17
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aventari posted:edit: also saying stuff like 'r-word' 'n-word' etc is such a cop out. It's just playing a semantic game of saying the word without actually saying it. You put the word in the readers head the same as if you said it you're just too chicken-poo poo to admit it. If you want to have an adult discussion, just do it without the tiptoeing around. The problem with THIS logic is a lot of ignorant/racist/ableist people will "ironically" drop the whole-rear end slur, or do so in the guise of an honest, intellectual discussion when it's pretty goddamn obvious they're doing it because they want to say the slur and then deflect the potential consequences. So there's a kernel of truth to this but it's also largely bullshit used by bad actors.
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Oct 27, 2023 08:20
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Korthal posted:I mean, guess what ARC is short for? It's not an acronym anymore for that exact reason; it's literally "The Arc" now. Nice try though. Jon posted:Unless you think fighting oppression and choosing not to use a slur are mutually exclusive, you shouldn't dichotomize them. I think this is a comment towards my post, and if it is I promise you I don't think people should use the word and like I said I haven't in at LEAST 15 years. At least. Nor do I know anyone who even semi-regularly does anymore. This is a good thing. However, if YOU think there aren't people who go "slur gone, -ism over" and that that attitude isn't problematic towards further progress, then I have a bridge to sell you. SamuraiFoochs fucked around with this message at 05:28 on Oct 29, 2023 |
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Oct 29, 2023 05:24
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Zoeb posted:I recognize that is true. Its similar to how ignorant white people think that racism is over since they are under pressure not to say the n-word at work, and therefore we need to scale back efforts against police brutality or economic inequality. Bingo. I wasn't saying you do think this with my initial response, by the way, but I do get really frustrated by people who do (and like we say, they 100% do exist). And like, to give a concrete example, I know of parents of children with say, Down syndrome who have literally tried to make legislation surrounding the word and put a ton of time and energy into that venture, and that makes me want to scream, personally.
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Oct 29, 2023 05:41
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