Great comedic lines from the past

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Great comedic lines from the past

dee eight: Dec 18, 2002; The Spirit
of Maynard

Brandy's for heroes, Mr. Hook. The rest of you will make do with boils on your skin, maggots in your meat and dysentery on your bellies! - Dr Richard Kimble, one-armed bandit.

e; it's the relief column, you long range sniper

# ? Oct 28, 2023 22:15

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 27, 2024 17:11

Mumpy Puffinz: Aug 11, 2008; Nap Ghost

Pennywise the Frown posted:

Al Molinaro is from Kenosha and there is a brand new fundraiser drive to get a bronze statute of him put up here.

edit: oh poo poo, we went to the same high school

what the gently caress. that guy used to be Pat Morita

# ? Oct 28, 2023 22:18

Extra row of tits: Oct 31, 2020

Zugzwang posted:

Let off some steam, Bennett.

Let off some steam Bennett.

# ? Oct 28, 2023 22:26

Mumpy Puffinz: Aug 11, 2008; Nap Ghost

Extra row of tits posted:

Let off some steam Bennett.

steam boat bennitt. Good song

# ? Oct 28, 2023 22:29

A Strange Aeon: Mar 26, 2010; You are now a slimy little toad; The Great Twist

It doesn't matter, I'll probably get hit by a car anyway

# ? Oct 28, 2023 22:36

Mumpy Puffinz: Aug 11, 2008; Nap Ghost

A Strange Aeon posted:

It doesn't matter, I'll probably get hit by a car anyway

just look both ways

# ? Oct 28, 2023 22:37

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007; Reporting for shovel mission Sir.

The Fonz jumps over a shark

# ? Oct 28, 2023 22:38

Zugzwang: Jan 2, 2005; You have a kind of sick desperation in your laugh.; Ramrod XTreme

A Strange Aeon posted:

It doesn't matter, I'll probably get hit by a car anyway

Try having a Pepsi, you might feel better

# ? Oct 28, 2023 22:38

Mumpy Puffinz: Aug 11, 2008; Nap Ghost

redshirt posted:

The Fonz jumps over a shark

that was a thing he did and where the term comes from

# ? Oct 28, 2023 22:47

Les Os: Mar 29, 2010

Duh nuh nuh nuh nuhnuh nuhnuhnuhnuh

SHARK LOBSTER!!!!

# ? Oct 28, 2023 23:20

Mumpy Puffinz: Aug 11, 2008; Nap Ghost

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJtdUFxFBBo
big brown dick

# ? Oct 28, 2023 23:24

Mumpy Puffinz: Aug 11, 2008; Nap Ghost

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVH0gZO5lq0

# ? Oct 28, 2023 23:25

Wifi Toilet: Oct 1, 2004; Toilet Rascal

Zugzwang posted:

Try having a Pepsi, you might feel better

Just don't ask your mom to get it for you

# ? Oct 29, 2023 06:37

Thesaurus: Oct 3, 2004

And man who hates dogs and children can't be all bad.

-wc fields

# ? Oct 29, 2023 06:45

Presto: Nov 22, 2002; Keep calm and Harry on.

redshirt posted:

Why the hell was The Fonz hanging around with a bunch of high school kids? Nerds at that.

Also: Ayyyyyy!

- The Fonz

Sit on it, Potsie.

-- Louis XIV

# ? Oct 29, 2023 07:02

flubber nuts: Oct 5, 2005

d'oh

# ? Oct 29, 2023 07:33

beepo: Oct 8, 2000; Forum Veteran

"That boat needs to be waaay bigger"

-Jaws

# ? Oct 29, 2023 07:50

pablo gbscobar: Nov 24, 2007; oh shit i got the snype; Lipstick Apathy

Still loving with them freak hoes,
Stank pussy smelling like cool ranch doritos
-Danny Brown

# ? Oct 29, 2023 08:44

Genesplicer: Oct 19, 2002; I give your invention the worst grade imaginable: An A-minus-minus!; Total Clam

"I just want to tell you both 'Good Luck' we're all counting on you."

"Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?"

"Germans???"

"Forget it. He's rolling."

# ? Oct 29, 2023 08:54

SilvergunSuperman: Aug 7, 2010

Genesplicer posted:

"Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?"

"Germans???"

"Forget it. He's rolling."

Goddamn, there's so many great lines in those movies

# ? Oct 29, 2023 09:02

Genesplicer: Oct 19, 2002; I give your invention the worst grade imaginable: An A-minus-minus!; Total Clam

SilvergunSuperman posted:

Goddamn, there's so many great lines in those movies

Back when I was a busboy at a country club, half the conversations the busboy staff had were just lines from "Animal House", "Airplane", and "Rocky Horror Picture Show" that happened to fit the situation.

# ? Oct 29, 2023 09:10

Zugzwang: Jan 2, 2005; You have a kind of sick desperation in your laugh.; Ramrod XTreme

Genesplicer posted:

Back when I was a busboy at a country club, half the conversations the busboy staff had were just lines from "Animal House", "Airplane", and "Rocky Horror Picture Show" that happened to fit the situation.

How often did y'all use the "I picked the wrong week to stop..." lines from Airplane?

# ? Oct 29, 2023 11:32

ManBoyChef: Aug 1, 2019; Deadbeat Dad

"Ill have what she is having."

-silence of the lambs

# ? Oct 29, 2023 12:18

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007; Reporting for shovel mission Sir.

Genesplicer posted:

Back when I was a busboy at a country club, half the conversations the busboy staff had were just lines from "Animal House", "Airplane", and "Rocky Horror Picture Show" that happened to fit the situation.

No Caddyshack??!

"10 bucks says the Smails kid eats it"

# ? Oct 29, 2023 12:21

Zugzwang: Jan 2, 2005; You have a kind of sick desperation in your laugh.; Ramrod XTreme

60% of the time, it works every time.

# ? Oct 29, 2023 12:38

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007; Reporting for shovel mission Sir.

Zugzwang posted:

60% of the time, it works every time.

Wow, that really escalated!

# ? Oct 29, 2023 12:40

Mumpy Puffinz: Aug 11, 2008; Nap Ghost

Genesplicer posted:

"I just want to tell you both 'Good Luck' we're all counting on you."

"Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?"

"Germans???"

"Forget it. He's rolling."

zero point zero

# ? Oct 29, 2023 12:51

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007; Reporting for shovel mission Sir.

7 years of college! Down the drain!

# ? Oct 29, 2023 13:02

500excf type r: Mar 7, 2013; I'm as annoying as the high-pitched whine of my motorcycle, desperately compensating for the lack of substance in my life.

Oh poo poo a porcupine

# ? Oct 29, 2023 13:12

Zugzwang: Jan 2, 2005; You have a kind of sick desperation in your laugh.; Ramrod XTreme

redshirt posted:

7 years of college! Down the drain!

My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.

# ? Oct 29, 2023 13:18

BigBadSteve: Apr 29, 2009

I'd buy that for a dollar!
https://youtu.be/_dGh7p1tZmk

# ? Oct 29, 2023 13:35

Grammarchist: Jan 28, 2013

"Nick, I've tried everything: the embassy, the German government, the consulate. I even talked to the U.N. ambassador. It's no use, I just can't bring my wife to orgasm."

- Found in Trump's bathroom

# ? Oct 29, 2023 20:57

Mumpy Puffinz: Aug 11, 2008; Nap Ghost

BigBadSteve posted:

I'd buy that for a dollar!
https://youtu.be/_dGh7p1tZmk

remember when RoboCop shot that dude in the dick?

# ? Oct 29, 2023 21:02

Grammarchist: Jan 28, 2013

Mumpy Puffinz posted:

remember when RoboCop shot that dude in the dick?

Remember when he shot an entire army of men in the dick?

(Warning: It's that bit from the Fatal Farm guys)
https://vimeo.com/86014703

# ? Oct 29, 2023 21:46

Mumpy Puffinz: Aug 11, 2008; Nap Ghost

Grammarchist posted:

Remember when he shot an entire army of men in the dick?

(Warning: It's that bit from the Fatal Farm guys)
https://vimeo.com/86014703

I have seen this before

# ? Oct 29, 2023 21:51

Carlos Lantana: Oct 2, 2003; I'm really sorry, your avatar is giving me a boner and while that is perfectly OK and I don't want to kink shame anyone, its making me feel really weird getting a boner in a Trump thread.

Sincerely,

Jailbrekr