Science Question: Big Rice

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Science Question: Big Rice

Wee: Dec 16, 2022; by Fluffdaddy

Hello

Just wondering why no one has made a rice that's the size of a loaf of bread or even bigger already?

Certainly would solve a few problems.

Is it just not physically possible? capitalist dogs? indolence?

# ? Nov 6, 2023 12:01

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# ? May 6, 2024 13:25

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

They can't make water big enough?

# ? Nov 6, 2023 12:20

Cactus Ghost: Dec 20, 2003; you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack

they'd look like big hairy mono-scrotes

# ? Nov 6, 2023 12:21

SLICK GOKU BABY: Jun 12, 2001; Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls

Big rice would have no texture OP.

# ? Nov 6, 2023 12:21

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

Tucking in to a big piece of rice

# ? Nov 6, 2023 12:22

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; A Soft Nylon Bag

Hell yes a big blob of non-nutritive blandness, sign me up

# ? Nov 6, 2023 12:26

20 Blunts: Jan 21, 2017

Big Broccoli for life, bitch

# ? Nov 6, 2023 12:27

Cactus Ghost: Dec 20, 2003; you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack

in the pocket of Big Squash

# ? Nov 6, 2023 12:28

The Saddest Rhino: Apr 29, 2009; Put it all together.
Solve the world.
One conversation at a time.

What about big wheat

# ? Nov 6, 2023 12:39

ELTON JOHN: Feb 17, 2014

SLICK GOKU BABY posted:

Big rice would have no texture OP.

they can also add hair to give it texture

# ? Nov 6, 2023 12:44

20 Blunts: Jan 21, 2017

got some LOUD polenta down the way ya hear

# ? Nov 6, 2023 12:44

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

Stuff that rice with cheese, veggies, spices.....

# ? Nov 6, 2023 12:46

500excf type r: Mar 7, 2013; I'm as annoying as the high-pitched whine of my motorcycle, desperately compensating for the lack of substance in my life.

I'm thinking corn sized, smear some butter on it and go to town.

Maybe hollow out a big rice and fill it with poke bowl ingredients

# ? Nov 6, 2023 12:50

Wee: Dec 16, 2022; by Fluffdaddy

The Saddest Rhino posted:

What about big wheat

attracts big locusts

# ? Nov 6, 2023 12:53

By popular demand: Jul 17, 2007; IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!

Don't bow down to Big Carb, eat the riche

# ? Nov 6, 2023 12:56

Wee: Dec 16, 2022; by Fluffdaddy

Corn attracts corn wasps

Rice has no nemesis

# ? Nov 6, 2023 12:57

By popular demand: Jul 17, 2007; IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!

Corn has smut.
Rice is wholesome and good for the entire family.

# ? Nov 6, 2023 12:58

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

Wee posted:

Corn attracts corn wasps

Rice has no nemesis

I thought the whole reason they grow rice in water is to avoid rice nemesis

# ? Nov 6, 2023 13:00

goatface: Dec 5, 2007; I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.; Grimey Drawer

Imagine how long it would take to cook.

# ? Nov 6, 2023 13:00

By popular demand: Jul 17, 2007; IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!

Is black rice the nemesis or is it wild rice, whose not actually rice?
:thunk:

# ? Nov 6, 2023 13:03

Wee: Dec 16, 2022; by Fluffdaddy

goatface posted:

Imagine how long it would take to cook.

You could remove daily shavings rather than cook the entire thing at once.

It doesn't require refrigeration if it is uncooked.

# ? Nov 6, 2023 13:04

Wee: Dec 16, 2022; by Fluffdaddy

By popular demand posted:

Is black rice the nemesis or is it wild rice, whose not actually rice?

wild rice is the not actually rice.

# ? Nov 6, 2023 13:06

Cactus Ghost: Dec 20, 2003; you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack

redshirt posted:

I thought the whole reason they grow rice in water is to avoid rice nemesis

i searched duckduckgo for "rice nemesis" and the first hit was Anne Rice's mummy novel

# ? Nov 6, 2023 13:10

The Bramble: Mar 16, 2004

Ironically, it�s due to Big Rice.

# ? Nov 6, 2023 13:10

Cactus Ghost: Dec 20, 2003; you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack

wild rice is actually rice. its right there in the name

# ? Nov 6, 2023 13:13

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

The Tower of Babel is actually an allegory about big cereals. God will strike us down if we make a cereal bigger than corn.

# ? Nov 6, 2023 13:25

AdvilSmith: Aug 15, 2014; Broken! Busted! Everybody has something to repair. Before buying new, let Mighty Putty fix it for you.

Cactus Ghost posted:

i searched duckduckgo for "rice nemesis" and the first hit was Anne Rice's mummy novel

I tried it out but added the quotation marks.

# ? Nov 6, 2023 13:28

stella aubade: May 28, 2020

writing to my local senator to support Big Rice in the upcoming election

# ? Nov 6, 2023 13:33

The Bramble: Mar 16, 2004

AdvilSmith posted:

I tried it out but added the quotation marks.

Lmao

# ? Nov 6, 2023 14:22

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

How big could we make this rice? Blimp sized?

# ? Nov 6, 2023 14:22

Cactus Ghost: Dec 20, 2003; you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack

AdvilSmith posted:

I tried it out but added the quotation marks.

freakin yikes

# ? Nov 6, 2023 14:24

Wee: Dec 16, 2022; by Fluffdaddy

An impractical sized rice wouldn't make sense.

# ? Nov 6, 2023 14:26

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

Wee posted:

An impractical sized rice wouldn't make sense.

Don't tell science what it can and can't do! You opened this Pandora's Box!
Now we're gonna close it....

# ? Nov 6, 2023 14:27

500excf type r: Mar 7, 2013; I'm as annoying as the high-pitched whine of my motorcycle, desperately compensating for the lack of substance in my life.

what is the biggest rice that does exist

# ? Nov 6, 2023 14:28

Mozi: Apr 4, 2004; Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die; Nap Ghost

this would ruin the mitch hedburg joke so no thx

# ? Nov 6, 2023 14:29

By popular demand: Jul 17, 2007; IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!

Just had a good rice salad, AMA.

# ? Nov 6, 2023 14:32

Wee: Dec 16, 2022; by Fluffdaddy

500excf type r posted:

what is the biggest rice that does exist

Pusa 1121, a Basmati variety that grows up to 0.33 inches/8.4 mm in length

# ? Nov 6, 2023 14:35

ChickenHeart: Nov 28, 2007; Take me at your own risk.; Kiss From a Hog

I'd rather have Big Horse.

# ? Nov 6, 2023 14:35

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

Corn used to be all tiny like you sometimes see in Asian food. Then science got to work and made the large American corn cobs we all love to this day.

# ? Nov 6, 2023 14:37

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# ? May 6, 2024 13:25

20 Blunts: Jan 21, 2017

redshirt posted:

How big could we make this rice? Blimp sized?

We will start with shrimp sized rice, no need to get crazy

# ? Nov 6, 2023 14:38

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