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Money doesn’t buy happiness
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Nov 9, 2023 16:34
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If you have sex you'll die.
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Nov 9, 2023 16:35
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God gives his strongest warriors his most difficult challenges.
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Nov 9, 2023 16:35
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Money doesn't buy happiness though. All the stupid cliche platitudes are true which is why they're stupid and cliche
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Nov 9, 2023 16:36
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The national debt is very important
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Nov 9, 2023 16:36
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Konar posted:Money doesn't buy happiness though. gently caress that, if I had enough money I could just buy the organ I need instead of hoping I get one E. To clarify, that would make me very happy btw
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Nov 9, 2023 16:37
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America is the freest and coolest country.
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Nov 9, 2023 16:37
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Never lie to your doctor
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Nov 9, 2023 16:38
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No sweetie, that's Peter Parker, your parakeet!
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Nov 9, 2023 16:38
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Cereal is part of a healthy breakfast
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Nov 9, 2023 16:45
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Santa Clause is WATCHING YOU
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Nov 9, 2023 16:45
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my parents told me the blinking yellow stop lights means someone died there. ive never been able to verify this.
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Nov 9, 2023 16:53
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flubber nuts posted:my parents told me the blinking yellow stop lights means someone died there. ive never been able to verify this. What the hell?
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Nov 9, 2023 16:54
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If you make that face it'll get stuck like that. rear end in a top hat, that's just my face.
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Nov 9, 2023 16:54
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You have to hold your breath when passing a cemetery
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Nov 9, 2023 16:57
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that the level of comfort, security, lifestyle, home ownership and financial stability my parents generation were able to fall into accidentally (like a sitcom character) was the baseline everyone should expect in life and not a bizarre fluke and the equivalent of winning a generational post-war lottery any way that I personally do not immediately have exactly what that generation had and at the exact same young age is a sign that I, personally, am a bad person
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Nov 9, 2023 17:09
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Weed is a gateway drug!
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Nov 9, 2023 17:09
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N. Senada posted:Weed is a gateway drug! Jesus is Love
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Nov 9, 2023 17:10
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Grey Cat posted:What the hell? they also told me if i hosed with the stick shift in the car when we were parked that the car would sink into the ground. i dont even know how that could be possible???
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Nov 9, 2023 17:10
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That hair would grow from my palms
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Nov 9, 2023 17:16
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Op is bad
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Nov 9, 2023 17:19
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Girls don’t fart
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Nov 9, 2023 17:20
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The system is fair
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Nov 9, 2023 17:21
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that my member would increase in size every time i had sex.
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Nov 9, 2023 17:25
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Pee is not stored in the balls
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Nov 9, 2023 17:26
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jesus christ. great thread guys. THE LIE THEY TOLD ME IS THAT..... LOVE EXISTS 😭 A BLOO BLOO BLOO BLOO BLOO BLOO BLOO  A BLOO BLOO BLOO BLOO BLOO BLOO BLOO BLOO BLOO BLOO A BLOO BLOO BLOO BLOO BLOO BLOO BLOO BLOO BLOO BLOO BLOO BLOO BLOO BLOO BLOO   (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Nov 9, 2023 17:32
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Cubone posted:jesus christ. great thread guys. That you could own a house
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Nov 9, 2023 17:36
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One day at work a coworker asked me for $5 so he could buy lunch. He said he would pay me back tomorrow so I lent him the $5. The next day he wasn't in the office, and I asked someone where he was. They said he suddenly quit his job yesterday afternoon and had moved to New Jersey.
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Nov 9, 2023 17:36
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Extra Large Marge posted:One day at work a coworker asked me for $5 so he could buy lunch. He said he would pay me back tomorrow so I lent him the $5. Incredible
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Nov 9, 2023 17:39
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Konar posted:Money doesn't buy happiness though. money, directly or indirectly, buys happiness if you're capable of being happy at all. most of the people deeply unhappy, are that way due to financial troubles
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Nov 9, 2023 17:46
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Extra Large Marge posted:One day at work a coworker asked me for $5 so he could buy lunch. He said he would pay me back tomorrow so I lent him the $5. Lol 
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Nov 9, 2023 17:46
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Grey Cat posted:If you have sex you'll die. this one is true
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Nov 9, 2023 17:47
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If I could close a thread on mobile I would. Right after adding in the 5 bucks story to op and quoting it again as the last post.
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Nov 9, 2023 17:48
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Bad Purchase posted:this one is true 
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Nov 9, 2023 17:49
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When I was a kid a friend told me that he had a family member who called themselves Uncle Syphilis, a black sheep type immersed in all kinds of underworld criminality. He kept this lie going for months until we made a new friend and while we were hanging out, I prompted "oh you should tell them about Uncle Syphilis". And so I activated my friend's trap card where he exposed me as a dumbass and revealed he was lying the whole time Anyway Uncle Syphilis is still one of our in jokes to this day
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Nov 9, 2023 17:50
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For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is Uncle Syphilis? This is Uncle Syphilis speaking. I am the uncle who has syphilis.
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Nov 9, 2023 17:54
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There was another time when I was a kid, and there was a big news story at the time about scientists managing to clone a sheep. I asked one of my mom's friends how they did that, and he told me that they did it by putting the sheep in an oven and baking it until it multiplied. He maintained this lie when I was introduced to some dogs from the neighborhood, a puppy and their mom, yup, this was an oven job. Thankfully I didn't try to clone my dog
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Nov 9, 2023 17:55
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gfNYvCViZtY
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Nov 9, 2023 17:55
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Tea Party Crasher posted:There was another time when I was a kid, and there was a big news story at the time about scientists managing to clone a sheep. I asked one of my mom's friends how they did that, and he told me that they did it by putting the sheep in an oven and baking it until it multiplied. He maintained this lie when I was introduced to some dogs from the neighborhood, a puppy and their mom, yup, this was an oven job. Your Mom's "Friend" sounds like a cool dude.
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Nov 9, 2023 17:56
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| # ? May 2, 2024 00:34 |
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A certified classic. I suppose if you do have sex you'll die, but can someone explain to me how having sex will kill your spouse and children?
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Nov 9, 2023 18:01
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