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The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Lies you were told
 
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flubber nuts
Oct 5, 2005


 my parents told me the blinking yellow stop lights means someone died there. ive never been able to verify this.

* # ¿ Nov 9, 2023 16:53
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# ¿ May 22, 2024 10:17
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flubber nuts
Oct 5, 2005

Grey Cat posted:

What the hell?

they also told me if i hosed with the stick shift in the car when we were parked that the car would sink into the ground. i dont even know how that could be possible???

* # ¿ Nov 9, 2023 17:10
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flubber nuts
Oct 5, 2005


 that my member would increase in size every time i had sex.

* # ¿ Nov 9, 2023 17:25
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flubber nuts
Oct 5, 2005


 For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is Uncle Syphilis? This is Uncle Syphilis speaking. I am the uncle who has syphilis.

* # ¿ Nov 9, 2023 17:54
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flubber nuts
Oct 5, 2005

Das Boo posted:

This is funny as hell and sounds like something my family would've told me. Others include:

- Return of the Living Dead really happened. I was born in Louisville, so this really mystified me.
- IT really happened.
- One of our pictures was haunted and the kids would come out of it at night.
- Also another picture with a tiger in it. It'd come out at night, too.
- A werewolf bit my sister.
- There's an O Great Easter Bunny that lives in the closet (my sister would put an ear muff over her hand to simulate a paw, so I knew it was real, there it was).
- Willow trees grew where people died.
- The solar eclipse was going to bring about the zombie apocalypse.
- The Ouija board moves. Sometimes someone would push it down the stairs so I'd hear a ca-CLUNK ca-CLUNK ca-CLUNK and here comes the loving Ouija board!

I loved being scared, so it made everything spooky and magical. I became skeptical early on, but I also wanted to believe the hype.

this is badass. i wish my parents lied to me more. not knowing any better as a dumbass kid was so got drat awesome. now im just a dumbass kid man.

* # ¿ Nov 10, 2023 00:18
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The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Lies you were told