|
OK the Company Card was used in a pretty serious amount last night, and I propose right now we just lay down one thought from that madness: forgive and forget. But I need to see some receipts and a few good excuses.
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 06:46
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 7, 2024 11:23 |
|
|
Well before all the other stuff happened, we had to get a substantial cash advance out to go to the strip club. A major client after the presentation demanded to see "nasty titties. the nastiest." he was rolling around on the floor wailing, begging to see "a dominicana built like a brick shithouse". He said this like 15 times while weeping, and that they would advise their board not to partner with us, due to extreme disregard of his needs and concerns if we didn't at least try to meet him halfway. Representatives from other clients were there, and we had to calm things down as quickly as possible. We never actually got there due to "the incident". Someone else can explain that one.
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 09:47
|
|
|
nice obelisk idiot posted:Well before all the other stuff happened, we had to get a substantial cash advance out to go to the strip club. A major client after the presentation demanded to see "nasty titties. the nastiest." he was rolling around on the floor wailing, begging to see "a dominicana built like a brick shithouse". He said this like 15 times while weeping, and that they would advise their board not to partner with us, due to extreme disregard of his needs and concerns if we didn't at least try to meet him halfway. Representatives from other clients were there, and we had to calm things down as quickly as possible. We never actually got there due to "the incident". Someone else can explain that one. So what were the nasty titties like
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 09:49
|
|
|
They offered water but I ordered a Diet Coke 
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 09:51
|
|
|
The Loin King posted:So what were the nasty titties like
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 09:58
|
|
|
Haha Mike's girlfriend called, and we made up a bullshit story.
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 10:07
|
|
|
down1nit posted:Haha Mike's girlfriend called, and we made up a bullshit story. Oh you could tell she knew, I mean as drunk as we were that story didn't even remotely hold together, and like we didn't even leave the room to answer the call from her, so she 100% could hear he's screams of pleasure and pain from the leather bear beating. That he was yelling "Mike Carlson loves his beatings" in between the screams the whole time probably didn't help. Client seemed entertained watching at least.
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 10:27
|
|
|
Look, man, have you seen the cost of fuel lately?
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 12:29
|
|
|
redshirt posted:OK the Company Card was used in a pretty serious amount last night, and I propose right now we just lay down one thought from that madness: forgive and forget. Business expenses only, Seymour. Yep, forgive and forget sounds good but only up to a certain amount, not sure where you work but im guessing 1000$+ budget is too much.
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 12:35
|
|
|
Hey you fuckin told me two things. Number one was we needed this contract from this client. Number two was we are at the end of the quarter so we gotta spend the rest of the budget or it gets trimmed. And i fuckin did that. Mike is happy ( till he gets home i guess ) and the budget it fuckin spent You didnt say poo poo about receipts man. Also Im out tomorrow i gotta go see a doctor cause it burns when i piss now.
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 12:50
|
|
|
What I have to find out is who ordered three cases of "Authentic Hokkaido Schoolgirl Piss Wine". I don't need nor want any details, I just need someone to sign the recipient.
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 13:10
|
|
|
Look, hiring the gamer girl was cheap, but how were we to know that her apartment only has a shower? So by the time we'd found an airbnb with a bath, it was pretty short notice so of course it was going to be expensive. But if bathwater shots is what the CTO wants, then that's what the CTO gets.
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 13:15
|
|
|
Please just warn me every time CTO is coming here, I don't want to be in the same building.
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 13:17
|
|
|
By popular demand posted:Please just warn me every time CTO is coming here, I don't want to be in the same building. I mean he constantly watches all the feeds for the video cameras here, and only comes by when you around so... um good luck with all that I guess. (I'm pretty sure that IT guy that was fired last week stole all the cameras on the 5th floor, so you could maybe try working there for a while till they replace them. He also shat in the microwave so er, yeah don't use the 5th floor microwave.) 
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 13:24
|
|
|
Why does The Company Card have such sharp edges? I cut my finger on it and it somehow sucked up all the blood and then I heard a voice in my head demanding more…what the HELL is going on in this place?
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 14:13
|
|
|
I knew I smelt something fishy on the 5th floor, that revolting IT guy eats nothing but salmon sandwiches!
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 14:15
|
|
|
Thats not the IT guy thats the CTOs pet bear
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 14:19
|
|
|
fresh_cheese posted:Thats not the IT guy thats the CTOs pet bear I mean yeah we do have that rule against fish in the microwave but like who's gonna tell a bear off!!! Mr. Fuzzy's so shy, it'd break his heart if we knew we were upset with him. 
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 14:24
|
|
|
I may have made a mistake signing a 10 year contract at this company.
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 14:28
|
|
|
Don't mind me, I don't work here, just ghost riding my whip minding my own business
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 14:32
|
|
|
"A hundred pounds of shrimp??"
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 15:42
|
|
|
I wanted to see how many times Qdoba would let me double the meat in my burrito. Turns out it's a lot.
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 16:47
|
|
|
Extra Large Marge posted:I wanted to see how many times Qdoba would let me double the meat in my burrito. Turns out it's a lot. Bro, Finance was at a classy steak house and you were at Qdoba??
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 16:48
|
|
|
a functional company in the year 2023
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 16:54
|
|
|
Qdoba closed 5 years ago
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 16:54
|
|
|
111213_5 posted:Qdoba closed 5 years ago Look with the amount of preservatives in their meat, I'm sure it was still good. No idea who was serving them though? Did you go to a Qboba when any of the serving staff died tragically, possibly in a serving accident, by any chance?
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 16:57
|
|
|
I don't know, after I ate the burrito the guy there told me I've always been the caretaker at this Qdoba. Not that it matters though, billing just rejected my expense report since I didn't specify if the queso was the sauce type or the shredded type.
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 17:02
|
|
|
meat for two? put it on the card on sale keychain? put it on the card endless buffet? put it on the card buffet round 2? put it on the card
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 18:51
|
|
|
Extra Large Marge posted:I wanted to see how many times Qdoba would let me double the meat in my burrito. Turns out it's a lot. When you double the meat does it add another portion or double the existing amount of meat?
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 18:54
|
|
|
By popular demand posted:I may have made a mistake signing a 10 year contract at this company. What are you talking about they can't fire you for ten years, you're golden.
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 18:55
|
|
|
By popular demand posted:I may have made a mistake signing a 10 year contract at this company.
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 19:15
|
|
|
When the Operations guys got 8 drinks in....
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 21:20
|
|
|
Do you think nasty titties are immune to inflation?
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 21:22
|
|
|
kntfkr posted:Do you think nasty titties are immune to inflation?
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 21:51
|
|
|
500$ in roses??
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 22:26
|
|
|
That came along with hiring Seal to perform on short notice, sorry. He wouldn't do the trademark song without them. We didn't think that he would be such a primadonna. BTW there's a ton of Battenberg cake in the breakroom fridge, because he missed British foods and wanted to look at the pleasing checkered pattern. We unfortunately had to get it flown in by helicopter.
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 22:36
|
|
|
Inflation bro. It was just a pack of gum, I swear.
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 23:20
|
|
|
I gave the company card to a fellow at Mar a Lago but he promised to only spend $5.
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 23:20
|
|
|
yeah we went bowling at Main Event, there's nothing that says we can't. there's also nothing that says we can't rack up $1500 in main event cards to play games of chance and video games, you want this $5 speaker? YEAH, I KNOW that's the same brand of speaker we gave out at the company picnic with our logo on it last year
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 23:22
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 7, 2024 11:23 |
|
|
Well Jim decided to blow all our cover buying anime again, the budget boys really aren't gonna fall for "it was a mistake bro" on all that tentacle crap again. I think the rest of us are safe though, blackjack and hookers is covered.
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 23:23
|
|
