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You know how Kevin in marketing is stocky and bald, how Laura has the frizzy hair, and the new data analyst Maureen has that high fashion bowl cut? Well things got carried away, and they all got cosmetic surgery at the all night cosmetic surgery place in order to look more like The Three Stooges. We tried to talk Maureen out of it, but she shook her fist at us and said "why I outta" until we stopped caring.
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Nov 14, 2023 00:22
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So what happened to Shempov?
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Nov 14, 2023 00:29
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By popular demand posted:So what happened to Shempov? Who the hell is Shempov??
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Nov 14, 2023 00:35
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Used to hang out with Laura and Maureen. I don't see him anymore
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Nov 14, 2023 00:38
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He's the director of maintenance. I guess you don't meet with those guys that often. Well anyways he went back to Uzbekistan to raise livestock. I think last night was the final straw. Did you know that he served in the Soviet air force in the late 80s? Crazy stuff. By the way, he borrowed the corporate jet.
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Nov 14, 2023 00:39
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Accidentally bought an entire pizzaria
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Nov 14, 2023 01:04
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Just wanted pizza with everything
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Nov 14, 2023 01:05
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Geemer posted:Just wanted pizza with everything We can work with this. A front for some kind of laundering...
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Nov 14, 2023 01:09
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Geemer posted:Accidentally bought an entire pizzaria Oh you wanted pizza, I brought an entire pizzaria like two three days ago, I just didn't say anything as I didn't think anyone else here would ever want any pizza. Does anyone want pizza, my office is just like 100% full with pizza know, quite a few of the supply closets as well. I think I vastly under estimated how much pizza a pizzaria actually makes in a day.
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Nov 14, 2023 01:10
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I paid $400 for 'snow day special' pizza and there was a bag of coke in the box. If I'm paying that much for a pizza I expect them to at least get the order right.
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Nov 14, 2023 01:19
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sorry I bought groceries for several thousand of my neighbours
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Nov 14, 2023 01:27
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ah. The Slurp'n Durp sells groceries, yes
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Nov 14, 2023 01:29
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Outrail posted:I paid $400 for 'snow day special' pizza and there was a bag of coke in the box. If I'm paying that much for a pizza I expect them to at least get the order right. Snow melts into a fine cocaine like powder ya know. Ya just didn't eat your snow pizza fast enough ya idoit!!! I should know, I own a pizzeria 
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Nov 14, 2023 01:31
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I believe you can write off a portion for taxes. Charity works there
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Nov 14, 2023 01:31
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I got drunk at the office party and bought a social media platform. Should I run it into the ground or use it for the betterment of mankind? Also will the $44b come out of my paycheck?
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Nov 14, 2023 02:14
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2:14AM 16 Large Sugar Lobsters
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Nov 14, 2023 02:48
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Whoa you folks are still here?
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Nov 14, 2023 03:02
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honestly boss, i mean. just look what would you have done
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Nov 14, 2023 03:05
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50 pounds of oysters??
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Nov 14, 2023 03:32
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The $900 Fanatec steering wheel with enough force to break my wrists? Yeah, that’s for my job. The spreadsheets, yes.
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Nov 14, 2023 09:13
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Spreadsheets so complex and rich you need a VR headset to navigate them
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Nov 14, 2023 13:15
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fresh_cheese posted:Spreadsheets so complex and rich you need a VR headset to navigate them Do you work for me?
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Nov 14, 2023 17:24
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redshirt posted:50 pounds of oysters?? accounting told me as long they are west coast and not that "east coast cheap poo poo" this was totally fine.
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Nov 14, 2023 19:00
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HonorableTB posted:honestly boss, i mean. just look pizza on fire, rear end up that's the way we like to gently caress
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Nov 14, 2023 21:07
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ive got an company card thats got no limit...but it only works at subway
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Nov 14, 2023 21:33
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numberoneposter posted:ive got an company card thats got no limit...but it only works at subway Sun Chips for all!
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Nov 14, 2023 21:37
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i can get you meatballs on any sandwich, all you gotta do is say the magic word
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Nov 14, 2023 21:51
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so can we strike the receipt for tryst.link for $3500 from the record
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Nov 14, 2023 21:56
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There's this place called Ruth's Chris Steakhouse that was pretty much designed around company credit cards.
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Nov 14, 2023 22:41
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The cashier asked me if I wanted guacamole, and well, I answered honestly
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Nov 14, 2023 23:10
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Tea Party Crasher posted:The cashier asked me if I wanted guacamole, and well, I answered honestly That's great! The new prototype required a green fuel, so we engineered it to run on liquid guacamole. Fill 'er up!
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Nov 14, 2023 23:18
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Yeah I put a turbo kit on the company card... think of how much faster I can get to work though! It'll pay for itself in no time!
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Nov 15, 2023 00:55
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63 Lemon Drop shots??
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Nov 15, 2023 00:56
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redshirt posted:63 Lemon Drop shots?? It was a slow lunch.
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Nov 15, 2023 00:57
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It’s a pornography store. I was buying pornography.
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Nov 15, 2023 01:02
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Revins posted:Yeah I put a turbo kit on the company card... think of how much faster I can get to work though! It'll pay for itself in no time!
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Nov 15, 2023 01:02
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numberoneposter posted:Think about how much faster you could get to work if you just sleep in your trunk of your turbo car. I don't know if I'm ready for turbosleep though 
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Nov 15, 2023 01:04
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numberoneposter posted:Think about how much faster you could get to work if you just sleep in your trunk of your turbo car. this reminds me of a line that my friend got from a coworker when he was employed at a call center that dealt with people's auto loans. Basically if someone said they couldn't pay that month for the car because of other bills, they'd say: Sociopath Coworker posted:Listen, you can sleep in your car, but you can't drive to work in your house
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Nov 15, 2023 01:08
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