|
Hi everyone, hoo boy online dating is a minefield these days, am I right? Anyway, I'm putting together an online dating profile and just want to make sure that I'm doing enough to look interesting without potentially alienating anyone willing to have sex with me. Here's what I've got so far. I'd welcome any feedback. Hobbies: I'll say that I enjoy hiking, obviously. I think it'd cover a lot of bases to say that I enjoy reading, but I also don't want to sound like a nerd... who is a cool author to pretend to like? I was thinking of Hunter S. Thompson, but I don't want to sound like a druggy, or alienate anyone who likes Richard Nixon. Haruki Murakami, maybe? Too exotic? Other possibilities for hobbies: windsurfing (too intimidating? Also, I don't actually know how to do this), knitting (too twee?), cooking desserts (makes me sound like a fatass?). Personality: I think I've already got down most of the sexually appealing adjectives to describe myself: brooding, creative, virile, helpful, lithe... any I've missed? Films: Everyone like films, but which ones are most likely to make me look interesting enough to sleep with? Chirstopher Nolan's films are great for film nerds, but I don't think anyone else going to jump my bones after watching "The Dark Knight" or that other one he did. Maybe pretending to like French cinema is a safe bet? But I don't want to be stuck there reading subtitles for two hours if they actually like that poo poo. Star Wars is right out, obviously. Are there any avante-garde films I can say I've watched that'll still get me gently caress points with the normies? The Israel / Palestine Conflict: Having some trouble with this one. I initially wrote how sad the whole situation made me feel and that I hoped for a fair fight, but I'm not sure if these sorts of common-sense solutions are considered particularly sexy these days. Maybe I should just muse about how hosed up the world is for a couple of paragraphs to cover all bases? Might give me the chance to address the whole Ukraine debacle while I'm at it?
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2023 01:43
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 2, 2024 12:16 |
|
|
Wine: Red, or White??
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2023 01:47
|
|
|
https://vimeo.com/665598
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2023 01:48
|
|
|
The oceans, dolphins, sunrises, breakfast in bed, island museums.....
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2023 01:49
|
|
|
You didn't make it clear enough that you're looking for a partner in crime.
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2023 01:51
|
|
|
"I just want to gently caress and smoke weed, I wash my rear end and won't call you any derogatory terms unless you're into that." "I have a dog and a beard" "Favorite food: rear end and pussy, in that order  "
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2023 01:53
|
|
|
I'll gently caress you for a price! 
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2023 01:54
|
|
|
No, you should totally say that you're into violent murder so you can get all the complete degenerate insane types, I hear they're really wild in bed!
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2023 01:55
|
|
|
say that you respect women at least once every twenty minutes even if its unrelated to whatever you are currently talking about
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2023 01:56
|
|
|
Candles, as my research has led me to believe.
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2023 02:13
|
|
|
Just looking for my best friend. Who also likes to gargle my balls.
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2023 02:27
|
|
|
You need some TikTok dances ready to go on deck.
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2023 02:29
|
|
|
Pretend to be the good zodiac sign, whichever it is
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2023 02:30
|
|
|
Mexican Soap Operas. Also bonus Mexican weather forecasters.
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2023 02:32
|
|
|
Working out. A little modeling. Long drives in your luxury sports car. Eating at fine restaurants. Going to the best shows. Parties in your mansion. International travel, for fun. Looking deeply into a beautiful woman (or whatever)'s eyes... You'd better have that sports car when you meet them though. And be cashed up and not ugly. Edit: More serious answer - Don't even mention politics (except maybe just to say you 'swing Left' or whatever), and don't complain about anything at all, what the gently caress? Also if you use a dating website, they'll sell all your personal info. BigBadSteve fucked around with this message at 02:46 on Nov 18, 2023 |
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2023 02:36
|
|
|
"I enjoy NOT having implicitly Machiavellian attitudes towards human relationships"
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2023 02:42
|
|
|
I definitely don’t enjoy talking about Star Trek or collecting anime toys!
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2023 02:50
|
|
|
Penis.
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2023 02:54
|
|
|
Lava Lamps, Redbull in a glass, the esoteric nature of our mortal existence....
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2023 02:58
|
|
|
Don’t forget to say that you love to laugh, but don’t put a picture on your profile of you dressed as a clown; you’ll look like a serial killer.
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2023 03:06
|
|
|
Martinis, dirty.
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2023 03:07
|
|
|
Giving oral The stupid poo poo your date cares about Spending $ on others
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2023 03:08
|
|
|
Internetjack posted:Martinis, dirty. “I like my martinis like I like my rear end”
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2023 03:08
|
|
|
Samuel L. Hacksaw posted:"I just want to gently caress and smoke weed, I wash my rear end and won't call you any derogatory terms unless you're into that." I think this covers the salient points
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2023 03:11
|
|
|
I don’t think you should lie to people you want to have relations with op
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2023 03:12
|
|
|
Sucking dick OP.
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2023 04:06
|
|
|
Girls want to hear about which operating system is the best
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2023 04:11
|
|
|
Caesar Saladin posted:Girls want to hear about which operating system is the best Girls hate Windows! Linux or Leave Us
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2023 04:14
|
|
|
Caesar Saladin posted:Girls want to hear about which operating system is the best they love it when you say they're like a hip-hop operating system
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2023 04:16
|
|
|
You gotta put that you enjoy traveling, hiking, reading, and hanging out with family and friends. Do NOT put that you spend most of your time masturbating and farming in old school runescape. Put traveling.
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2023 04:18
|
|
|
when you are checking out women through the gym mirrors it is important to maintain eye contact if yours should meet for a couple seconds then smile. At that point go introduce yourself otherwise you come off as a psycho creep. hth
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2023 04:19
|
|
|
Kayaking, also buy a kayak.
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2023 04:31
|
|
|
Girls love all of the warhammer 40k factions explained
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2023 04:42
|
|
|
Women
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2023 05:42
|
|
|
Flowers and small chocolates
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2023 05:42
|
|
|
the band James
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2023 05:44
|
|
|
Include "I'm saving myself for marriage". That'll get you them conservative types.
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2023 06:06
|
|
|
redshirt posted:rear end candles,
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2023 06:37
|
|
|
You need at least one photo of you at a Cambodian temple. If you haven't been, photoshop yourself in front of one. Include a caption about how enlightening your trip was.
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2023 06:39
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 2, 2024 12:16 |
|
|
Nothing. Stay true to yourself. If someone can't handle you at your worst they don't deserve you at your even worse.
|
|
#
?
Nov 18, 2023 06:39
|
|