Teslorist attack at the US/Canada border: I hope everyone was vaccinated

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Teslorist attack at the US/Canada border: I hope everyone was vaccinated

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The Last Call: Sep 9, 2011; Rehabilitating sinner

https://twitter.com/ItsDeanBlundell/status/1727767053816262679

Wait until the moose are deployed.

And beavers.

Then you are hosed.

# ? Nov 23, 2023 23:08

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# ? May 12, 2024 12:22

Another Bill: Sep 27, 2018; Born on the bayou
died in a cave
bbq and posting
is all I crave

Almost Smart posted:

You could trade it in for a modest sized house

Ho ho ho not in Canada my friend

# ? Nov 24, 2023 01:40

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

Another Bill posted:

Ho ho ho not in Canada my friend

winnepeg

# ? Nov 24, 2023 01:53

Stocky Manhood: Jul 29, 2014; Can I get a hat wobble?

Better call up PeePee and let him know some terries are gettin froggy

# ? Nov 24, 2023 03:01

Preoptopus: Aug 25, 2008; Ð¢ÑÐ¸ Ð¿Ð¾Ð»Ð¾ÑÐºÐ¸,
ÑÑÐ¸ Ð¿Ð¾ ÑÑÐ¸ Ð¿Ð¾Ð»Ð¾ÑÐºÐ¸

The Last Call posted:

https://twitter.com/ItsDeanBlundell/status/1727767053816262679

Wait until the moose are deployed.

And beavers.

Then you are hosed.

drat that's a slick road

# ? Nov 24, 2023 03:51

Pekinduck: May 10, 2008

So this was just a fuckin car crash? ffs.

# ? Nov 24, 2023 04:01

FoolyCharged: Oct 11, 2012; Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Somebody call for an ant?

Pekinduck posted:

So this was just a fuckin car crash? ffs.

No, this was a really cool car crash with sweet air and a fiery explosion at the end.

# ? Nov 24, 2023 04:30

ZeusCannon: Nov 5, 2009; BLAAAAAARGH PLEASE KILL ME BLAAAAAAAARGH; Grimey Drawer

Semi expensive car too

# ? Nov 24, 2023 04:34

Time_pants: Jun 25, 2012; Now sauntering to the ring, please welcome the lackadaisical style of the man who is always doing something...

This will somehow end up being good for Tesla stock.

# ? Nov 24, 2023 05:12

FoolyCharged: Oct 11, 2012; Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Somebody call for an ant?

Look! Other cars go up in flames*, too!

*see **

_{**when dropped multiple stories while flying forward at 100mph}

# ? Nov 24, 2023 05:41

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

Time_pants posted:

This will somehow end up being good for Tesla stock.

I hope so. I'm down 15%. Just been riding the Tesla coaster. I had a chance to jump off before the stock split, but I didn't.

numberoneposter fucked around with this message at 05:44 on Nov 24, 2023

# ? Nov 24, 2023 05:42

Klyith: Aug 3, 2007; GBS Pledge Week

numberoneposter posted:

I hope so. I'm down 15%. Just been riding the Tesla coaster. I had a chance to jump off before the stock split, but I didn't.

lmao have you considered swallowing your loss and getting out? Telsa is still wildly overvalued and the Musk Magic is gone.

the cybertruck is a disaster, twitter is a disaster, elon is a raging chud trying to sell cars to upper-class liberals, and he owes $13 billion to the banks and will shortly be facing decisions like "do I sell more tesla stock to pay the loans, or do I admit that I'm a huge failure?"

about the only good news is they keep winning lawsuits over autopilot killing people... but autopilot keeps killing people so the lawsuits keep coming.

# ? Nov 24, 2023 14:39

flubber nuts: Oct 5, 2005

Willatron posted:

I can think of far worse ways to go than erupting into a fireball 20 feet in the air in my luxury car and making international news.

gonna have to flip this on you and say its one of the coolest and best ways to die. i think ive found the last item on my bucket list.

# ? Nov 24, 2023 14:51

Stunt-Puffin: May 19, 2023

its all nice on rice posted:

Wife was playing burnout 3 on her steam deck and husband said "that's weak poo poo. Watch this."

# ? Nov 24, 2023 18:44

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

Klyith posted:

lmao have you considered swallowing your loss and getting out? Telsa is still wildly overvalued and the Musk Magic is gone.

the cybertruck is a disaster, twitter is a disaster, elon is a raging chud trying to sell cars to upper-class liberals, and he owes $13 billion to the banks and will shortly be facing decisions like "do I sell more tesla stock to pay the loans, or do I admit that I'm a huge failure?"

about the only good news is they keep winning lawsuits over autopilot killing people... but autopilot keeps killing people so the lawsuits keep coming.

i think i might, seriously just gonna get out, its a good trading stock if you can find the time but eating 15% wouldnt be the worst as i dont have the time to actively trade any more and just park it in something that pays dividend at least

god drat look at the chart for coca cola stock

numberoneposter fucked around with this message at 18:55 on Nov 24, 2023

# ? Nov 24, 2023 18:49

LaserPrinter69: Sep 6, 2022; "I did a perfect print job, grown men were coming up to me and saying with tears in their eyes, 'Sir, it was a perfect print job.' What they're trying to do to your favorite printer (ME!) is a disgrace."

I found a contender for the Make / Model

# ? Nov 24, 2023 18:51

A Festivus Miracle: Dec 19, 2012; I have come to discourse on the profound inequities of the American political system.

So Fox News basically invented a wild story about US/Canadian border terrorism out of whole cloth?

Shocking I know

# ? Nov 24, 2023 18:55

guaranteed: Nov 24, 2004; Do not take apart gun by yourself, it will cause the trouble and dangerous.

Probably. I'm still holding out hope, though, that someone somewhere called Fox and told them they were a reliable source and sold them a bill of goods. I'm so sick of this "reporting," where anything goes. If I want to know what Twitter is saying, I'll go look. Everyone should become a reliable source for the media, especially Fox.

# ? Nov 24, 2023 19:17

MrQwerty: Apr 15, 2003

A Festivus Miracle posted:

So Fox News basically invented a wild story about US/Canadian border terrorism out of whole cloth?

Shocking I know

and then

said it was actually good that they did that because you can never be too careful

# ? Nov 24, 2023 19:19

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

BREAKING NEWS: US GOVT CLASSIFIES "BOOMERS" AS TERRORIST ORGANIZATION

# ? Nov 24, 2023 19:21

mannerup: Jan 11, 2004; ♬ I Know You're Dying Trying To Figure Me Out♬

♬My Name's On The Tip Of Your Tongue Keep Running Your Mouth♬

♬You Want The Recipe But Can't Handle My Sound My Sound My Sound♬

♬No Matter What You Do Im Gonna Get It Without Ya♬

♬ I Know You Ain't Used To A Female Alpha♬

A Festivus Miracle posted:

So Fox News basically invented a wild story about US/Canadian border terrorism out of whole cloth?

Shocking I know

the original source of that claim was Fox's Alexis McAdams (citing 'high level police sources'), who still has the claim up on her Twitter account

https://twitter.com/AlexisMcAdamsTV/status/1727399834397622646

# ? Nov 24, 2023 19:26

My Spirit Otter: Jun 15, 2006; CANADA DOESN'T GET PENS LIKE THIS

SKILCRAFT KREW Reppin' Quality Blind Made American Products. Bitch.

numberoneposter posted:

winnepeg

# ? Nov 24, 2023 19:47

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

My Spirit Otter posted:

$400,000 CAD for a stand alone house in winnepeg
$300,000 USD explosive Bentley = $408,610.50 CAD

# ? Nov 24, 2023 19:59

Nyan Bread: Mar 17, 2006

Choosing to live in a burnt down shell of a Bentley in Southern ON over the wilds of Winterpeg any winter's day.

# ? Nov 24, 2023 20:14

AARD VARKMAN: May 17, 1993

numberoneposter posted:

$400,000 CAD for a stand alone house in winnepeg
$300,000 USD explosive Bentley = $408,610.50 CAD

never f*ck with math goons

# ? Nov 24, 2023 20:15

Another Bill: Sep 27, 2018; Born on the bayou
died in a cave
bbq and posting
is all I crave

numberoneposter posted:

$400,000 CAD for a stand alone house in winnepeg
$300,000 USD explosive Bentley = $408,610.50 CAD

i mean sure, if you call a house in winnipeg 'living'

# ? Nov 24, 2023 21:08

Medullah: Aug 14, 2003; FEAR MY SHARK ROCKET IT REALLY SUCKS AND BLOWS

mannerup posted:

the original source of that claim was Fox's Alexis McAdams (citing 'high level police sources'), who still has the claim up on her Twitter account

https://twitter.com/AlexisMcAdamsTV/status/1727399834397622646

She was just confused. Her source mentioned that he hit max level in World of Warcraft so she thought he was "high level"

# ? Nov 24, 2023 21:18

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; I LITERALLY SLEEP IN A RACING CAR. DO YOU?
p.s. ask me about my subscription mattress; Ultra Carp

LaserPrinter69 posted:

I found a contender for the Make / Model

Flying Spur will be aerodynamic enough to serve briefly as a plane,

# ? Nov 24, 2023 22:02

MrQwerty: Apr 15, 2003

Vim Fuego posted:

Flying Spur will be aerodynamic enough to serve briefly as a ~~plane,~~ ballistic missile,

# ? Nov 24, 2023 22:12

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

You don't need to be aerodynamic to be a temporary ballistic missile. In fact my butt launches them every day.

# ? Nov 24, 2023 22:24

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

Maybe she meant sources from the High Level Alberta Police force?

# ? Nov 25, 2023 02:31

SatansOnion: Dec 12, 2011

wesleywillis posted:

Maybe she meant sources from the High Level Alberta Police force?

clearly her source was a couple of Alberta cops who were abuzz and soaring on :420:

when they witnessed it, and had a paranoid moment

# ? Nov 25, 2023 02:51

Vegetable: Oct 22, 2010

Old white boomer dying in a speeding fiery car crash en route from a casino to a cancelled Canadian KISS concert, you can�t write this poo poo

# ? Nov 25, 2023 05:48

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

https://x.com/JoeMyGod/status/1728457407225790899?s=20

quote:

The car that exploded this week at a border bridge in Niagara Falls, N.Y., was a 2022 Bentley Flying Spur, the authorities said on Friday, an ultraluxury model capable of reaching a speed of 60 miles per hour in four seconds. The police identified Kurt P. Villani as the driver and Monica Villani as the passenger. The married couple, who were both 53 and from Grand Island, were the owners of several businesses in western New York. They were headed to a concert in Toronto.

The base model Flying Spur in 2022 came powered by an eight-cylinder engine generating 542 horsepower and weighed 5,137 pounds, according to specifications from Edmunds, which provides data about automobiles for consumers. Speculation had percolated online about the car�s make and model since the crash just before noon on Wednesday, and investigators were exploring whether a mechanical problem had caused the car to accelerate out of control.

About the car

quote:

Bentley recalled some car models in 2021 because accelerators were becoming stuck, creating huge safety fears, two years before a Niagara Falls couple died in a fiery crash in their vehicle. The car maker issued the recall in the summer of 2021 for Continental GT and Flying Spur models built between 2018 and 2021.

The recall notice cited a manufacturing flaw that caused accelerators to get stuck while engaged. A Bentley spokesperson said the recall did not apply to the Mr. Villani�s vehicle, since it was only relevant to right-hand cars issued in Europe and Australia.

By the time the fire had been extinguished, there was little left of the vehicle. It�s unknown whether the car had a black box that would have recorded the moments before the crash, or whether it survived.

# ? Nov 25, 2023 18:19

LaserPrinter69: Sep 6, 2022; "I did a perfect print job, grown men were coming up to me and saying with tears in their eyes, 'Sir, it was a perfect print job.' What they're trying to do to your favorite printer (ME!) is a disgrace."

Called it

# ? Nov 25, 2023 18:21

Haverchuck: May 6, 2005; the coolest

guaranteed posted:

Probably. I'm still holding out hope, though, that someone somewhere called Fox and told them they were a reliable source and sold them a bill of goods. I'm so sick of this "reporting," where anything goes. If I want to know what Twitter is saying, I'll go look. Everyone should become a reliable source for the media, especially Fox.

It seems like they had all the anti-immigrant rhetoric ready to go, almost as if they have it as a template where they can just plug in any event that roughly fits the bill and bam theres your story.

# ? Nov 25, 2023 18:28

My Spirit Otter: Jun 15, 2006; CANADA DOESN'T GET PENS LIKE THIS

SKILCRAFT KREW Reppin' Quality Blind Made American Products. Bitch.

numberoneposter posted:

$400,000 CAD for a stand alone house in winnepeg
$300,000 USD explosive Bentley = $408,610.50 CAD

yea i misread the original post and thought you were saying you could trade a bently for a house in winnipeh

# ? Nov 25, 2023 18:35

Almost Smart: Sep 14, 2001; so your telling me you wasn't drunk or fucked up in anyway. when you had sex with me and that monkey

Villani is an anagram for villain, and terrorists are villains, so if you look at it that way, Fox News was dead on the money way before everybody else.

# ? Nov 25, 2023 18:36

Grey Cat: Jun 3, 2023; Doing stuff and things

Bentley Flying Spur

Well you don't say.

# ? Nov 25, 2023 18:40

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# ? May 12, 2024 12:22

Cubone: May 26, 2011; Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

man, that sucks. what do you do if your accelerator gets stuck?
like, I don't know about cars, can you turn off the engine or put it in park or something, or do the gears stop you?

I would think at the bare minimum you could floor the brake pedal and pull the emergency brake and maybe also kind of ease the car sidelong against a wall or curb and hope that the friction slows you down?
and that it does less damage to you and your passengers and your environment than achieving liftoff and kamikazeing a tollbooth from the sky...

# ? Nov 25, 2023 19:40

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Teslorist attack at the US/Canada border: I hope everyone was vaccinated

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